Fast Tracks
by tyron23
Summary: Ranma/Sailor Moon/ Minor Gold Diggers Crossover
1. Default Chapter

I promised myself a long time ago that I would never ever ever do a sailor moon or sailor moon crossover. This has been banging around in my head for quite some time now and I've got to get it out before I can continue with my other works.  
  
I'd just like to say in advance  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor moon, or Ranma, or Gold Diggers. Suing me is futile as I am poor.  
  
Fast Tracks  
  
Chapter uno: It all goes to hell  
  
It is said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. If this is true then the 4077 turnpike to the lower pits was mostly funded by a Genma Saotome. It was his good intention to engage his son so that the problem of getting a mate would be avoided, not like the boy would have any problems but... of course if the chosen girl wasn't acceptable then of course maybe one of the other engagements would be more to his liking. Nothing too good for his boy. Most men would be thrilled to have so many beautiful girls hanging on him. He mostly forgot the fact that he only used most of the engagements to fill his fat stomach while ignoring the boy.  
  
Currently the Hell construction crew was working on the isengard cloverleaf with his good intentions.  
  
The scene is the Tendo dojo early morning. Ranma has just learned the Moko Takabisha and is quite exhausted from his long workout. Unknown to him a shadow has been following him for the past few days watching his every movement, going through his personal effects, and of course breaking into Nabiki's personal files.  
  
Today is the day the shadow finally gets to finish its mission. Without a sound the shadow takes to the rooftops and proceeds to Juuban prefecture at top speed. Its mistress would be overjoyed to hear what it had to report. Well maybe not.  
  
Back at the dojo Kasumi was just putting the final touches on breakfast before serving it. As she hummed a little tune to herself she wondered if she was forgetting something... something important about today. For the life of her she couldn't remember why today was so important. Oh well she was sure that she'd remember later on, for now she had to call everyone for breakfast.  
  
"Breakfast is ready everyone!" She called out knowing almost immediately that if she went out now she'd be trampled by the stampede. Waiting till the count of 20 before she started walking ensured her survival for another day. Tossing the food onto the table ensured that she kept all of her appendages. The fierceness of the combatants today was exceptionally savage. She could understand poor Ranma-kun as he'd been up all night training to do that blast thingy of his and had probably used up a lot of energy. Of course she could think of much better ways for him to use up that energy. Just because she was a repressed housewife well without the wife part, didn't mean that she couldn't fantasize now and then.  
  
As Kasumi's thoughts drifted into the NC-17 spectrum other members of the family were watching the spectacle with an appreciative eye. Well not so much appreciative but mercenary. Nabiki was thinking about how much this was going to cost the family and exactly how they were going to make it up. She really didn't mind feeding Ranma for willingly or not he helped put food on the table in the first place. It didn't hurt that he was easy on the eyes. No it was his good for nothing father who did absolutely fuck all to help pay. Oh her daddy said that he was a guest and as such didn't need to pay, but of course this from a man that didn't work either and didn't provide for himself. Oh yes both of them would have to go then she could have Ranma 'work' of his debt to her.  
  
While Nabiki's thoughts descended into illegal in most states and provinces territory the youngest Tendo who actually had reason to think naughty thoughts about her fiancée, wasn't. The reason for this is quite obvious. While everybody was always thinking that when she protested and said that she didn't like him and would never marry the egotistical jerk, that she was actually telling the truth. She hated him, plain and simple. There was only one reason why she kept the engagement going. To get a full understanding we have to go into a little bit of history.  
  
Before Ranma arrived she was the best martial artist in Nerima and everyone knew it. After he came however and his various suitors eventually joined him, she went from being the best to the bottom of the barrel. She was loathe to admit it but if Kuno with his new training against Ranma ever went full out against her she would lose. This simple fact galled her to no end. The one competition that she knew she could win was the fiancée race. Her father and Mr. Saotome wouldn't let anything disrupt it. Of course she knew that both her sisters were interested in Ranma now but if she just gave him over that would be like quitting. And stubborn as a mule and twice as thick Akane would not quit.  
  
Back to the present Akane was getting angry. Nothing-new there. The fact that her anger was directed solely at Ranma was again not new. Her smashing him with her mallet towards the koi pond was getting so old now that the koi have taken to judging his entry.  
  
9.5 8.5 9.0 9.0 5.5  
  
The last koi deducted points because Ranma ended up landing on him.  
  
It was a wet and female baby red dragon that emerged from the pond using it's fire breath to burn the entire Tendo family and one stupid panda to crispy bits before it flew off to pillage some village somewhere.  
  
Umm oops wrong story.  
  
Actually a sopping wet redhead crawled out of the pond looking like something the cat dragged in. She paused to take off her shirt to wring it out and glare at the koi that gave her a 5.5 as she felt that the half twist before splashdown would at least make it a 7. As she was putting her shirt back on she looked up when she noticed that someone was coming through the front gates. The woman was in her late thirties with dark copper hair and blue eyes. Instantly Ranma felt that she should know this woman but recognition evaded her. (think Ryoga) Unfortunately she wasn't the only one to notice her. As she rounded the house the rest of the family was able to see her as well. Three people recognized her almost immediately. Kasumi was first.  
  
"Oh my Auntie Saotome I forgot that you were coming over today, I would have set up another place for you." Of course she now remembered what was so important about today.  
  
"Nadoka how wonderful of you to stop by, isn't that right Saotome?" Soun was of course next to speak looking over at his pandafied friend.  
  
I'm just a cute panda, I'm certainly nobody's husband  
  
Of course it would have worked immeasurably better if he'd been a panda. Nabiki of course was trying to figure out how to sue him for false advertising claiming that his panda form was cute was a blatant lie.  
  
"Mom?" Ranma spoke up finally.  
  
"It's nice to see you too dear, I had hoped that Walter's description was just his way of making the story more interesting, but the proof is staring me right in the eye." Nodoka sighed heavily. She had hoped that Walter was just adding things to make Ranma's life seem more interesting but if he was telling the truth about the girl thing she was afraid of what else he might have been telling the truth about.  
  
"Mom!" Ranma shouted out at she launched herself at her mother.  
  
Just as he was about to make contact with her Nodoka dodged to the right and let Ranma sail past.  
  
"Now Ranma you're soaking wet, why don't you get cleaned up first then we'll talk ok dear."  
  
"Ok mom." Ranma replied running full tilt towards the furo.  
  
Nodoka smiled sweetly. If her son could have withstood half of what Walter described then he would find what was to come a piece of cake. Now to gather the players in this little game together. Now if Walter was telling the truth then all she would have to do is...  
  
"Nabiki dear would you please call everyone that is involved with my son. I have something's to discuss."  
  
Wondering just how much she could charge for this Nabiki headed off to the phone.  
  
Sometime later  
  
Everyone was gathered in the dojo. The Tendo's were on one side, the Amazon's and Ukyo were in the middle, and finally the Kuno's were on the other side. At the front of this little gathering sat Ranma, Nodoka and Genma.  
  
After some minor skirmishes (Minor as in nobody had to be carted off yet) Nodoka stood up and began to speak.  
  
"First of all I'd like to thank you all for coming on such short notice. Now most of you are familiar with Ranma and my good for nothing husband. My name is Nodoka Saotome and I am Ranma's mother. There is a reason I've called you together like this. It has recently come to my attention that Genma here has been making promises to engage Ranma to various different girls." She paused to look around the room. "Now there is a problem with this, you see when I originally met Genma he was a homeless ronin. I was drunk at the time and he was there so we found an all night chapel and got married." There were some gasps at this. "When I sobered up the next day and found him in my bed sleeping next to me I blew my stack. That was nothing compared to what happened when I found out I was married to him. I tried to get a divorce but he would have none of it. To make a long story short nine months later Ranma was born. Now while I despised my husband I loved my son." She let out a heavy sigh. "Four years after Ranma was born I came home to find that Walter had been knocked out cold by someone and both my husband and son were missing. As I searched the house I came upon this document."  
  
Reaching into her kimono she brought out a document. Actually it looked like some chicken scratches combined with a child's finger painting.  
  
"I found this. Basically it says that Genma would take Ranma on a training trip and that if he failed to make Ranma a man among men that they would both commit seppuku." Ranma of course winced at this. "Of course a four year old child could not understand what this means so I will not be holding Ranma to the contract." Everybody noticed Genma trying to sneak out of the dojo. He held up a sign.  
  
I am invisible you can not see me.  
  
"As I was saying I will not be holding Ranma to the contract because even with the curse I think it was, the fact that he has not just killed the whole lot of you already speaks for his character." She turned to face Ranma. "Ranma I Nodoka Saotome head of the Saotome clan Judge you a man among men." Several people gasped when she mentioned that she was the head of the clan.  
  
"Whoa hold on here YOU'RE the clan head?!!" Ukyo shouted.  
  
"That is correct um Ukyo was it?" Nodoka stated calm as ice.  
  
"But that means..." Ukyo stopped as she herself realized what exactly it meant.  
  
"That is correct Ukyo-san. All of the engagements Genma made are invalid." This of course caused an uproar.  
  
"But the schools must be joined!" - Panda man  
  
"Waaaaaaaaaa" - Waterworks  
  
"Finally the evil Saotome's hold over the fierce Akane Tendo and the pigtailed goddess is over. Come let us embrace our love." - Poster boy for mental illness  
  
"Embrace this." Trinity I mean Akane  
  
"You're current bill is 127,000 yen, thank you for staying at park place." - Scrooge mc Tendo  
  
"Oh Fuck, I mean My." - Kasumi sex kitten Tendo  
  
"Noo Ranma sama you'll choose me won't you." - Cracks glass at 50 paces with her laugh  
  
"..." - Shampoo "Snoopy happy dance"  
  
"Shampoo it is undignified of an Amazon to dance like that. No do not spike your bonbori." - Yoda  
  
"I want a new panda rug." - Slightly deranged ambisexual best friend  
  
When everyone had calmed down slightly Nodoka continued.  
  
"Cologne I am well aware of your great granddaughter's claim, and I am also aware of your laws. There is a complication however."  
  
"And what would this complication be exactly? By our laws Shampoo is married to son in law. This wouldn't happen to be another fiancée would it?" Cologne may be old but she is by no means stupid.  
  
Nodoka heaved a great sigh.  
  
"Yes that's it exactly. "  
  
"Mom?" Ranma said hesitantly.  
  
"I'll explain. You see before I met Genma I was good friends with a Sauri and Tocho Kino. We agreed that if we had children of the opposite gender that they would be engaged to be married. I do not know what to do this is a huge mess. "  
  
"The answer is simple of course Ranma marries Shampoo and comes back to China." Cologne stated.  
  
Nodoka sighed again. She hasn't sighed this much in at least ten years. She reaches into her kimono again and pulls out a medallion. Upon seeing it Cologne muttered an ancient curse. Something to do with the inbred offspring of two Jusenkyo cursed males. Seeing that the elder recognized the symbol and knew what it meant she put it back into her kimono.  
  
"Alright what do you suggest we do then?" Cologne signed. She really hated the situation. It was giving her such a headache. Oh well if the connections she was making were accurate then at least her stay would be interesting none the less.  
  
"Well what I suggest is that you and your great granddaughter come and stay at my house. We can try to figure something out from there." Ever since Walter had given his report she had been trying to figure some honorable way out of the Amazon engagement. She couldn't use the pact between her clan and the Amazons because quite honestly there was no clause in the agreement pertaining to the laws. The best she could hope for was for Ranma to marry Makoto and take Shampoo as a second wife or mistress.  
  
"Elder Cologne I believe that we should adjourned for the day I will have Walter stop by later to help you move your things." She looked up. "Walter I take it that you've got Ranma's things?"  
  
Apparently from thin; air a large man in a ninja garb materialized holding a large backpack. Several people including Cologne jumped because they couldn't detect his presence until he poofed into existence.  
  
"Yes mistress. I have all of master Ranma's possessions and am ready to depart."  
  
"Very good Walter. Come on Ranma our business is finished here let's go home." She got up and started walking towards the door. Ranma automatically got up and started to follow. This of course touched off another frantic commotion.  
  
"Nodoka as you're husband I demand that you reconsider. The agreement between Soun and myself is honorable. The two schools of Anything goes must be joined!" Genma roared. He wouldn't let his retirement freeloading off his son go out the window. Damnit he'd worked hard to get the boy ready.  
  
"Hey what about my dowry! That fat bastard stole it and ten years of y life!" Ukyo was mad. Ten bloody years living as a boy and now all gone with jack and shit to show for it. Oh yes she was damned sure she was going to get compensation.  
  
"I am terribly sorry Ukyo-san," Nodoka said while bowing low "I understand that your honour has been tarnished by my fat fool of a husband. I can not make up for the ten years of your life however the Saotome clan will try to make reparations. If you would like I have some great recipes for panda and know a great tanner where you can get a fine rug made."  
  
Genma of course was turning a nice shade of white. He wasn't sure if his wife was kidding or not. Thinking back on everything he's done to her and their son he decided that a nice long trip to Siberia would be a good idea right about now. Hell even ikaluit NWT would be preferable to here. He quietly engaged his stealth mode part of the umi sen ken, and snuck out of the dojo. If he was lucky he would be able to get his backpack and be well on his way before the chef or that damnable pet ninja of Nodoka's could catch him.  
  
As he was sneaking out of the dojo the door slammed shut catching him on the ass. Inside the dojo Walter just smiled as he put the second backpack beside the first.  
  
"Enough! " Shouted Nodoka. "Ranma come on we've got to get home now."  
  
"No you can't take him! He's my retirement! He MUST marry one of my girls!" Soun was desperate now if Ranma was allowed to leave the dojo he'd have to go back to work, the horror of it. He knew that he was no match for Nodoka but there was one that could go toe to toe with the Saotome matriarch.  
  
"Nabiki you've got to stop them."  
  
"Mrs. Saotome I'm afraid that during his stay here Ranma has racked up quite a personal debt to myself for services rendered. I'm afraid that I can not allow him to leave with such a large debt." Nabiki was confident that this would get them to change their minds. Ranma's debt was quite substantial and there was no way that she was just going to pull out her purse and hand her a huge freaking wad of yen.  
  
As soon as the said huge freaking wad of yen was in her hands she knew that something was extremely wrong with the universe. Ranma was POOR, extremely POOR and his mother had just HANDED her over 200,000 yen like it was nothing at all! Maybe she was a little hasty when she forked him over to her little dyke sister.  
  
"Nabiki dear were any of these services rendered taking him to bed with you and making wild monkey love?" Nodoka asked hopefully. Maybe Ranma would be interested in having another concubine. One could only hope. Visions of grandchildren danced in her head.  
  
"MOM!" Hear the cry of the terminally embarrassed offspring.  
  
"Ahh no... as far as I know I'm still a virgin." Truth be told if she got the chance she would have done him for free.  
  
"Well a mother can hope can't she. I'm not getting any younger and I'd really like some grandchildren." Inside Nodoka was snapping her fingers.  
  
"Very well then. I believe that concludes our business here. Come along Ranma, let's go home." She said as she turned to leave Ranma following on her heels. When they reached the threshold of the dojo Ranma stopped and turned around.  
  
"I thank you for the hospitality that you have shown me. Good Bye." He bowed low then turned around and walked after his mother.  
  
Everyone in the dojo knew that they probably would never see him again... unless, of course, if they decided to visit him at his house.  
  
As they passed the gates of the dojo Ranma turned to his mother.  
  
"Hey mom wait up I've got to get my pack."  
  
"Don't worry about it. Walter has already collected your things and is on his way to our house. When he has finished he will return here to collect the Amazons."  
  
"Mom, do I really have to marry Shampoo. All she's done is try to drug me and trick me into marrying her. I can't trust her!" It was just now sinking in that he had to marry Shampoo. Sure she was cute and cuddly but the number of times she tried to get him on a date by the use of drugs was just too much for him.  
  
"Son did you ever try to think of things from her perspective? You're her husband and you keep running away from her. I know a little about Amazon law and I know that if she fails to get you for her husband she would be punished severely. While I don't agree with her methods I do understand where she is coming from. Maybe if you actually took the time to get to know her you might come to like her. If worse comes to worse all you really have to do is get her pregnant a couple of times and that's all the contact that you need to have with her. On the other hand I do expect you to be nice to Makoto. She has been like a daughter to me and I wish to see her happy so you will at least try to act civilized around her do you understand?" She paused to let this sink in. She really did like Makoto and the thought of her and Ranma together happily married was a dream of hers for quite some time now.  
  
"Also if you could try to be nice to Shampoo as well I would appreciate it. You never know she may surprise you."  
  
"Mom, I promise I'll try, I don't guarantee that anything will happen but I'll at least give it a shot." His mom really wanted this . He couldn't disappoint her. Not again. Never again. Of course one thing was nagging at him.  
  
"Mom when you said that Shampoo would be punished if she didn't get me as a husband, what kind of punishment would that be?" Just because he didn't want to marry her didn't mean he wanted her to suffer. " Nodoka looked thoughtful for a moment before responding.  
  
"Well for the first failure a Jusenkyo curse is pretty much standard punishment."  
  
"Uhh mom she's already got a Jusenkyo curse."  
  
She looked shocked for a second. "I didn't know that. There appears to be a lot of information that Walter missed in his report. You'll have to tell me more later. So Shampoo's already got a Jusenkyo curse do you know why?"  
  
"Uhh yeah you see originally she was trying to kill me, I kinda defeated her in girl form in front of the whole village."  
  
Nodoka twitched. "And why did you have to fight her in the first place?"  
  
Ranma looked down at the ground sheepishly. "Uhh well you see me n pop had just come from Jusenkyo and we were really hungry..." He trailed off.  
  
The twitch was joined by a friend. "And you just decided that the big table of food that was labeled FIRST PRIZE was some kind of banquet." She sighed heavily. There were going to be some changes that needed to be made. "Ranma, Ranma, Ranma you're really in deep. To answer your question if an Amazon fails a second time... well spaying is pretty common for second failures."  
  
Ranma froze in midstep. Did he just hear that right. "You're kidding right, they wouldn't really do that would they?"  
  
"Oh yes they would. Now as for third failures..."  
  
"What about third failures?"  
  
She hesitated for a couple of seconds before replying. "There are no third failures son."  
  
After about two minutes of silence she decided to continue.  
  
"Now do you understand why she was so desperate to get your attention? She didn't have much choice."  
  
The rest of the trip to the train station was in silence. Both of them had a lot to think about.  
  
As they were departing the train station they were shocked to hear screams coming from the other end of the platform. As the crowd cleared out they saw a vaguely female monster facing off against five cheerleaders. The one with the two long ponytails was making some stupid speech about love, justice and daily commuters. The whole thing was like some stupid sentai show. That was until they started throwing around some real magic. Ranma was about to jump in and help when his mother put her hand on his shoulder.  
  
"No son this is their fight, we'll just stand by and watch. If it looks like one of them is in trouble then you can jump in."  
  
Five minutes earlier.  
  
Slodion was a very happy minion. Her master had congratulated her several times because of her good work. The reason she was so good at her job was that she understood that the best way to get the job done and get home alive was to be subtle. If your enemies didn't know you were doing something wrong then they couldn't catch you. She had already gathered quite a bit of energy from homeless people and some local yakuza. These were people that wouldn't be missed if they all of a sudden turned up dead.  
  
Today however when she was draining some homeless guy at the train station she suddenly found herself surrounded by the Sailor Scouts. This was serious as she was now outnumbered five to one. She had to get out of there. Her own survival was paramount to completing the mission. As she tried to run she was surrounded. Hopefully what she'd heard about the scouts was true and that they were entirely dependant on their magic. If this was true then she had a chance to get out of this in one piece after all.  
  
It was just another day in the lives of five normal superhero girls. They were on their way to get some ice cream after a heavy study session at the temple when screaming caught their attention. Having gone through this routine several times before in the past they basically reacted on autopilot. first they ducked into an alleyway checking to make sure that they weren't spotted. Five bright and flashy transformation sequences later they were ready to go hunt evil and protect the future once again.  
  
When they arrived at the train station it was fairly easy to see where the problem was just run towards where the crowd was running away from. When they arrived they saw the standard vaguely humanoid female energy draining monster draining some hapless homeless guy.  
  
"You know just for once I'd like to see a vaguely humanoid male monster. You know just for some variety." Commented Mars.  
  
"Well you know what we've got to do then." Said Moon getting in front readying her speech. "You there I won't let you harm that homeless man, his life is no less precious than any other human..."  
  
"My life's worthless. If I can be of some use to this monster here I'd rather die doing something useful. So if you girls would just bugger off for a bit." Turning back to the monster he said. "Ok now monster san where were we?"  
  
Needless to say the Scouts were speechless. This guy actually wanted to die by the monster's hands just so he could be useful.  
  
"To hell with it let's just get her!" Mars shouted while charging.  
  
"Why not it's what we do anyway." Said Mercury joining the charge.  
  
Within a couple of seconds the youma, as they decided to call it until they could find a better name, was surrounded by a bevy of girls in short skirts.  
  
When the magic started flying the girls immediately knew that something was wrong. Mercury quickly ducked out to analyzed the situation. Their magic was having no effect on the youma. Within a couple of seconds she had her answer. They youma was specially designed to fight against them. It was weaker than the Daimons but it had stupid amounts of magic resistance. They couldn't hurt it unless they went toe to toe with it and unfortunately the only one in their group who had any formal martial training was Makoto. Seeing Venus get tossed into a drink machine and moon following shortly after Mercury decided that they needed to do this now.  
  
"Our magic is useless it's got too much resistance, we've got to fight it hand to hand."  
  
"Hand to hand? Are you crazy we'll get creamed!" Mars shouted. Sure she had a green belt in karate but that was nothing compared to what the youma were capable of.  
  
"So basically we beat it till it dies." Jupiter said while cracking her knuckles. "I think I can deal with that."  
  
The youma hearing all of this decided that it was time to run. She was magic resistant however her doctor had recently told her to avoid too much iron in her diet. Something like the steel pipe that Jupiter had ripped from the wall and was swinging around menacingly. She turned and ran not even stopping just shoving Mars out of her way as she ran past with an overzealous Jupiter on her heels.  
  
"Come back here you baka monster."  
  
A coffee covered Moon who'd just crawled out of the coffee machine said aloud. "Jupiter scares me."  
  
Several girls nodded in agreement.  
  
"Do you think we should follow her? She might need our help." Mercury of course cursed herself for being the voice of wisdom.  
  
"Do you really want to be there when she catches that thing?" Venus didn't want to have to clean youma guts out of her hair again. Sometimes Jupiter could get a little.... bloodthirsty in her work. It scared her sometimes how her normally calm and down to earth friend could literally rip a youma to shreds with her bare hands and come out smiling. It was just creepy.  
  
"We really should go after her. You never know it could be a trap of some kind." Said Mars as she tried to get the image of Jupiter covered in Youma dust grinning like a mad woman. "On second thought the youma might need our help."  
  
There was giggling all around as the girls took off after their teammate.  
  
Back at the train station Ranma turned towards his mother.  
  
"You know mom I think I'm going to like it here."  
  
"Glad to hear that son. My somebody should talk to those girls mothers. Those skirts are way too short some pervert could look up their skirts!"  
  
"Mom I don't think any pervert would want to be anywhere near them if they ever caught him looking up their skirts."  
  
"So son do you find any of them attractive?" Nodoka said while they were walking away from the scene.  
  
Not expecting it Ranma stumbled a bit. "Ahh I've got enough girl problems without having to go chasing after them."  
  
"Then you weren't staring at that green skirted sailor then?" Nodoka said with a wink.  
  
This time Ranma did fall on his face.  
  
"Moooom."  
  
"Oh don't worry dear you've already got one wife and one fiancée, I don't think either Shampoo or Makoto would be willing to share you with yet another girl. I think that they'll have enough problems just getting used to each other. "  
  
"That's assuming Shampoo doesn't just kill Makoto and just get it over with." Ranma grumbled.  
  
"Oh I wouldn't worry too much about that I'm sure Makoto is in no danger, Shampoo won't do anything to her if she wants to keep you has her husband." Nodoka was smiling as Ranma didn't sound as against the multiple marriage as he did before. Now if she could only convince Makoto everything would be fine.  
  
They walked in silence for another fifteen minutes before they came up to a gate. Nodoka turned in and started walking up the path towards the house. Ranma stopped and stared. The house was huge easily rivaling the Kuno mansion. He couldn't remember it since he was only five or so when he was last here. He wondered why the old man would ever leave this lap of luxury to travel on the road.  
  
"Come on Ranma don't just stand out there all day we've got work to do." Nodoka was amused by her son's antics. She guessed correctly that he didn't know exactly how rich she was.  
  
Ranma caught up to his mother but was still gawking at the sights.  
  
"Hey mom is this really our house?"  
  
"Yes son however it's not the house you grew up in. You see when your father and I were first married I didn't let him know exactly how much I was worth. I knew exactly the kind of man your father was when I married him. Or at least I thought I did. Anyway that's in the past now. I just hope that nothing like that happens again." in a quite whisper "I don't think my heart could take it."  
  
"Don't worry mom I don't think I'll be leaving you again. I would like to know though where I'm going to sleep?" He was getting quite nervous as they'd passed several doors already and had gone up two flights of stairs.  
  
"Here's your room Ranma" Nodoka said while opening the door that they'd stopped in front of.  
  
His first impression was the space. The room was absolutely huge! Easily three times the size of the Tendo's guest room. The next thing he noticed was that it wasn't furnished that was the reason for the space. This kind of confused him since he would have thought his mother would have stuff for his room. He wasn't expecting to start off with nothing.  
  
"I didn't know what you'd like so before I went out and spent tons of money I needed to know what you'd want in your room. We can go shopping later or tomorrow if you want."  
  
"Ahh yeah that'd be a good idea. I don't really need a bed though. I'm used to sleeping on the floor."  
  
"Yes well you may be used to it but you will be getting a proper bed." She held her hand up to forestall the complaint that she knew was on the tip of his tongue. "I know you don't want one but I think that once you get used to it you'll sleep better and not fall asleep at school as often. That is unless Makoto and Shampoo decide to keep you up late." She snickered at his gaping expression.  
  
"Come on now we've still got the rest of the tour. Walter will have your things in your room in a few minutes."  
  
As they walked around she showed him where her room was, the study, the bathrooms, the dojo, the kitchen (duh), and the weight room. When they got outside is when the tour got really weird. In the back yard there were several pens each containing what looked like a striped horse.  
  
"They are zebra son. We keep them here."  
  
"Umm why?" He'd only heard of zebra being kept in zoos and in Africa.  
  
She winced when he said that. It was a bit more than what she wanted to tell him now.  
  
"That's a little complicated, I'll explain everything when Makoto gets here tomorrow."  
  
"Ahh ok." Ok his mom had a weird animal fetish. Still was better than his old man.  
  
Pulling out a pocket watch she made a note of the time.  
  
"Well Ranma how about we go out for lunch and then get to shopping?"  
  
"Sounds good I guess." He really really didn't care for shopping but if he could spend time with his mom then so be it.  
  
"Walter!"  
  
"You called mistress?" Walter said from about 5 centimeters behind Ranma.  
  
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh" He screamed as he jumped straight up 15 feet.  
  
"He sure can jump high mistress."  
  
"Walter I would appreciate it if you would not give my son anymore heart attacks, he is all that is left you know."  
  
"He also gets good hang time, yes I understand no more scaring the young master shitless got it."  
  
It was around now that Ranma had finally come down from his impromptu flight completely breaking most laws of physics.  
  
"Don't DO that!" Ranma screamed. It was like Dr. Tofu all over again except this guy was much much better. He didn't even notice him even after he'd mysteriously appeared behind him. Even looking directly at him Ranma still couldn't sense his presence, it was like he was a ghost. To test that theory he reached out and poked him. Sure enough he was solid.  
  
"Yes young master I am quite real." Walter said with a hint of amusement in his voice.  
  
"You have got to teach me how to do that." A new technique and a willing teacher. Ranma may just learn to enjoy his stay here after all.  
  
"Of course young master however I believe your mother wanted to take you shopping right now."  
  
"Yes that is correct, could you please bring the car around."  
  
"Of course mistress."  
  
"Aren't we going to walk?" It was how they got from the train station why couldn't they just walk to the ginza to do their shopping?  
  
"We're going to have too much to carry I'm afraid. We'll need the car to carry most of it. The larger pieces of furniture we'll have delivered." She explained while they were walking towards the driveway. Walter was already there in a brand new Toyota corolla.  
  
"but... but..."  
  
"You were expecting more? Neither Walter nor I use the car much so this is all we really need. " She got into the passenger side and Ranma got into the back.  
  
"Being rich does not always mean spending as much as you can on fancy things you don't need. I've learned that more expensive does not always mean it's better. You will probably notice that everything at the house has a purpose and there is not much clutter."  
  
"Yeah I did notice that there wasn't much stuff there."  
  
"Some rooms are for storage, others are guest rooms, and others are for various other purposes. Sometimes we have quite a few people over at our house so we need the space. It can be quite wild at times so I hope you can adjust." She and Walter laughed a little at that. Ranma of course didn't get it.  
  
"Don't worry about it young master compared to what you went through back in Nerima this will seem boring." Walter said as he turned into a parkade.  
  
"We're here mistress."  
  
They parked the car and got out.  
  
"The first thing that you need are clothes." Honestly how he could survive on only 6 sets of clothes was beyond her. If he thought that all he could wear was Chinese tangs he had another thing coming.  
  
Clothes shopping was a nightmare Ranma wanted his usual Chinese shirts and Nodoka was dead set against them. They eventually compromised she got most of the clothes that she wanted to get for him and he was allowed to get three Chinese outfits however they had to be at least two sizes too big for him. It was almost as if she was expecting him to have a massive growth spurt and shoot up to over six feet. Just one more of his mom's craziness coming through. Oh well at least he would get an allowance and he could go out and buy the clothes he wants.  
  
After the clothes store they went to the electronics store and got him a TV, sound system and a game system for his room. They also got him an alarm clock and a few games for his game machine. He tried to protest but she just countered with she had years of birthday's and Christmas' to make up for.  
  
Then furniture shopping. This is where things got weird. The dresser and night table were pretty standard, but the king sized bed was a little much.  
  
"Mom I don't need a bed! I've slept on the ground and floors for as long as I can remember a bed will just make me soft."  
  
"Trust me you're going to need a bed. You may be used to sleeping on the ground but Makoto is not."  
  
Just one more thing to ensure that all parents must embarrass their offspring.  
  
Ranma just turns a nuclear red.  
  
"I believe it is getting late mistress we should probably return home for supper."  
  
"Yes of course Walter."  
  
The ride home was in silence, Ranma was just boggling at all of the stuff that he had now. For someone to go from carrying everything you own on your back to having an entire room full of your stuff was a little disheartening. It meant that he couldn't just pickup his stuff and leave on a whim, he now had roots, a real home, and family. It felt good. It felt really good.  
  
When they arrived home Nodoka went immediately to the kitchen to start supper. Ranma and Walter were left to unload all of their purchases and carry them up to his room. Ranma didn't mind and Walter didn't seem to notice as he quietly bore his loads with nary at thought. When the furniture and the entertainment system arrived they had a little contest to see who could carry what up the fastest. Walter won when he carried the entire king sized bed with frame in under two minutes. Ranma had to respect that kind of strength. Even Ryoga would not be able to make that kind of time. He could do it of course but it would take him at least four or five minutes to do it in.  
  
When they had finished putting everything away and hooking up the electronics Nodoka called them to dinner.  
  
"The food's ready come and get it!"  
  
Needless to say a starving Saotome just barely beat out the hired help.  
  
Dinner was not what Ranma had envisioned for his traditional mother. There was no rice, no vegetables, just meat. Each person got a large chunk of meat lightly roasted and very very rare in the middle. Watching Walter and his mother tuck into the food it was like watching a couple of wild animals rip into a carcass. Still it was a lot more civilized than how he and his father usually ate. He tried to mimic his mothers eating style as to not offend her. It wasn't as difficult as he originally thought.  
  
After supper he went out to the dojo to work off some of his meal. About halfway through one of his kata's he finally noticed that he was being watched. He spun around and quickly assumed a defensive stance. Seated on one side of the dojo was his mother and off to the side he noticed Walter was watching also.  
  
"Umm how long have you guys been watching?" He was a bit nervous. He couldn't feel his mother's presence, it was quite unnerving to know that his mother could sneak up on him like that without him knowing.  
  
"I've only been here about ten minutes but I think Walter's been watching since you started." Her son was too easy to scare. A simple thing like Dampening your presence shouldn't scare him this much.  
  
Ok so he was living with people that could kill him six different ways and he would never know they were even there until he dropped dead. No nothing scary about that at all.  
  
Walter detached himself from the shadows and walked (more like glided) over to where Ranma was currently standing.  
  
"Young master would you care to spar with me? I would really like to see what you're capable of."  
  
If Walter had suggested such a thing at the Tendo dojo he would have jumped at the chance, but now that he's observed him for a while now he wasn't so confident that he'd win.  
  
"Alright let's see what you've got." Saotome school tenant #2 try to psych out your opponent.  
  
And then it began. Walter was in his face faster than you could say 'eep' and it was on. Punches and kicks flew fast and furious. Several times Ranma 'felt' Walter move one way only to painfully find out that he'd moved the other way. Amagouriken speed punches rained down on him but Walter either blocked or dodged most of them. Some of them hit however and staggered him. He came back strong with a vicious right cross that Ranma blocked, but that was only a feint for the front kick that tossed him to the other side of the dojo. Walter wiped the small trickle of blood that was seeping from his lip. He then stood to full height and bowed towards Ranma.  
  
"Well fought young master."  
  
"Yeah you weren't so bad yourself, do you think you could teach me some of that stuff you were doing there."  
  
"Of course, however most of my tricks were not quite enough to bring the win. I honestly don't know how much I can teach you." He bowed his head to look at the ground. "I'm not really a fighter just a servant."  
  
He wasn't a fighter! Oh wow for not being a fighter he could fight better than most people back in Nerima.  
  
"Don't trouble yourself Walter do you remember Tisus?" Seeing him nod she continued. "He owes me a favour or two I think he could give Ranma a lesson or two."  
  
"Yes Tisus or his brother Remus could give him some instruction. Also Elder Cologne will be here for a while before she returns to her village I'm sure she would be willing to train him for a while."  
  
All this talk of training was getting him excited. New techniques a martial artists dream, and he didn't have to fight, beg, or be tortured to get them.  
  
It was around this time that the evil wizard snuck up on him and dumped a whole dump truck full of sleep dust into the dojo. As everyone was climbing out of the piles of dust and cursing the neighbors, the sleeping sand finally kicked in. Since Ranma was at least partially resistant to the drugs he was able to carry his mother and Walter into the house. Walter he dropped on the floor because honestly his ass was heavy. He made it to his mother's room and unceremoniously dropped her on her bed. By now his resistance to the sleep drug had worn down to pretty much nothing. Looking at the door then looking back at the floor then at the door again.  
  
"Ahh fuck it." he said then face planted onto the floor.  
  
The next morning when he woke up he found that he was face down on his bed in a pair of pajamas. The last thing he remembered was passing out fully clothed. If that's true who put him to bed? There were only two suspects neither of which thrilled him.  
  
Walking downstairs still in the pajamas his nose caught the scent of something good cooking in the kitchen. Wandering in he saw his mom standing over a stove cooking up a storm.  
  
"Mom what are you up to?" rhetorical question to break the ice.  
  
"Cooking breakfast dear. Why don't you go upstairs and get changed."  
  
Seeing as he wasn't going to be getting anything out of her right now he decided to get out of the pajamas then grill his mother.  
  
At least he didn't end up naked in the middle of a pack of wolves. That happened one too many times with his father.  
  
As soon as he was out of sight Nodoka pulled a stoppered flask from her kimono. She pulled the cork out and dumped the entire contents into his orange juice.  
  
When he got to his room he found that a set of clothes was already laid out for him. Unfortunately it was a school uniform. He had a really really bad feeling about this.  
  
He got dressed quickly in the uniform that his mother had put out for him. He returned downstairs to find that breakfast had been laid out for him. He sat down and started wolfing down as much food as he could. Breakfast was much like supper last night as in it wasn't traditional. There were sausages and eggs with pancakes. It was traditional western fare which was so not what his mother was supposed to be like.  
  
"So I guess I've got to go to school?" Please no please no please no.  
  
"Of course you do. I've got all of your supplies. You still haven't been transferred yet but that should be done in a couple of days. Now hurry up you don't want to be late."  
  
"Thnks mm." He choked out around the remains of his food.  
  
"Don't forget to finish your orange juice dear." She called out  
  
He chugged the glass down. It was terrible but not so bad that he wanted to spit it up.  
  
"Hey mom you really should pitch that orange juice, I think it's gone bad."  
  
"Sorry about that dear, I'll have Walter go to the store and get some fresh orange juice today." Internally she was cheering soon she'd have her son back.  
  
Ranma rushed out the door grabbing his obento and bag on the way out. When he got to the gate he jumped over it and then came to a screeching halt. He had no idea how to get to school. True to form Walter materialized about a foot behind his left ear.  
  
"Do you need some assistance young master?"  
  
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaa" Ranma predictably jumped 15 feet in the air.  
  
"Don't DO that!" Screamed Ranma. If he was a c c c c that thing he would have lost two of his lives already.  
  
"Come on young master we've got to run if you want to make it to school on time."  
  
As they took off with Ranma following Walter he noted that he didn't have to strain to keep up the ridiculous pace. They passed by a couple of blonds one of which had a stupid hairdo. Walter veered off as they approached the school and waved goodbye to Ranma. Ranma himself continued on towards the school doors putting on an extra burst of speed and making it into the building before the first late bell rung.  
  
"Ok class I know this is strange but we have a new student today."  
  
There were some murmurs. Transferring in halfway through the school year was rare. Ms Haruna ignored the murmurs and continued.  
  
"His name is Ranma Saotome and he's transferring in from Furinken High school in the Nerima district."  
  
Now that raised a commotion. Nerima was strange and interesting therefore anybody from Nerima should have piles of interesting stories, nothing like the boring monster attacks here in Juuban.  
  
At that moment a youth with dusty blond hair walked into the classroom. He was wearing a school uniform and carrying his lunch and bag in one hand. His pigtail hung down the back of his head. Most of the girls started drooling, some were openly staring while drooling, and a select few were writing up their wedding plans while drooling. (Ok it was only two girls who were doing this but Usagi and Ami couldn't really be blamed could they?)  
  
"Hello my name's Ranma Saotome heir to the Saotome school of anything goes martial arts." He bowed.  
  
"Alright Ranma you can sit over by Ami by the window." When he was seated she continued. "Alright everybody turn to page 53."  
  
During the day Ranma found that he was not tired and as such he was able to stay awake through all of his classes. Maybe what his mom said about the bed was true. Could it be that all he needed was a good night sleep? Either that or take away all the crazies keeping him awake at all hours and his old man throwing him into the koi pond for 'training' at 5 in the morning.  
  
Lunch at Juuban was quite different from lunch at Furinken. There were quite a few girls looking to talk to him. He wasn't quite stupid enough to not know what they wanted to talk to him about. He hid in a convenient tree and ate his lunch. As with all of the meals before it this one was western. A sandwich with some pudding and milk in a thermos. He ate everything quickly and then waited for the lunch bell to ring before he sprinted across the yard and jumped into the open window of his classroom. He got a few stares but for the most part people ignored him.  
  
The rest of the school day passed without incident. Several of the girls in the classroom tried to pass notes to him but were caught and sent out into the hall for their trouble.  
  
Meanwhile in another ward.  
  
The cat cafe was hopping and this time it wasn't because of business. There was a closed sign on the door and a large moving truck was out front. Inside a duck was quacking incessantly from it's cage trying to get out. Men were moving large boxes and trunks to the truck outside. Most of the boxes were marked China however some of them were marked as containing Shampoo. The moving men were trying to figure out how they could possibly use so much shampoo. Sure the purple haired chick would use quite a bit but not as much as what was in those boxes.  
  
"Aiyah great grandmother Shampoo all packed now ready to go to airen's house."  
  
"Very good granddaughter. The Saotome's servant should be here soon to take us to their house."  
  
"Shampoo very happy finally get airen." Shampoo was vibrating with anticipation. "Just think that stupid Mousse try interfere again ruin Shampoo's chance." The duck quacked as if to indicate an affirmative.  
  
"Don't worry granddaughter he won't be allowed anywhere near you or son-in- law." She cackled a bit. Shampoo, Mousse and the moving men shuddered at the sound.  
  
"Hello any old wrinkled mummies in here?" Called out a cheerful voice.  
  
Said cheerful voice was immediately smacked on the head with a walking stick. "Mind your elders boy!" Cologne was not really upset she just wouldn't take any lip from this kitten.  
  
Walter rubbed the spot where she smacked him. "Yeah yeah grannie, you guys ready to go?"  
  
"Yes we're all packed." Most of the stuff here is going back to China (all of the dangerous stuff was stored in her weapons space. She would only stay another few months to make sure Shampoo was well settled and to teach her a few things before she would have to return to the village and try to explain why Shampoo would not be returning.  
  
"Well then shall we go?" He opened the door and led everybody outside to the car. Mousse was still in his cage when one of the moving men picked it up. On the top of the cage was a sticker denoting the destination as Bolivia.  
  
The ride to the Saotome residence was uneventful. Also the unloading of Shampoo's and Cologne's things also went off without a hitch. By the time everything was said and done school was over.  
  
Walking home Ranma noticed a tall girl with long brown hair following him. He turned around but kept walking backwards.  
  
"Can I help you?" Ranma was a bit curious as to who she was.  
  
"Umm you wouldn't be Ranma Saotome would you?" She seemed a bit hesitant.  
  
"Yeah." Ok yellow alert.  
  
"Mrs. Saotome's son?" she seemed a bit more confident now.  
  
"Yeah..." Red alert all hands to battle stations.  
  
"Oh wow Auntie Saotome's told me lots of stories about you!" So he was real Auntie's not as crazy as she once thought.  
  
"Umm you wouldn't happen to be Makoto Kino would you?" Tall, very pretty, big breasts. Wouldn't be too bad, now if she could only cook...  
  
"Yup that's me! How'd you know?"  
  
"Mom told me a bit about you." Yeah like you're my brand spanking new fiancée.  
  
"So do you know why Auntie asked me to come over today? She wouldn't tell me just that it was a surprise."  
  
"I've got an idea or two but nothing quite certain." yeah surprise this guy's going to be your loving husband no go off and make babies. Oh yes can't forget this other chick here is going to be sharing him with you. Have a nice day.  
  
As they rounded the corner they noticed a moving truck pulling away from the Saotome residence. When they got to the door they were greeted by Walter. He ushered them into the study where Mrs. Saotome along with Cologne and Shampoo were already waiting. Nodoka was dressed in an extremely loose outfit, it looked about two sizes too big for her.  
  
"Ahh good you're here, before we begin Mako chan I'd like you to do something for me." She picked up a small stoppered flask from the desk behind her. "I'd like you to drink this please."  
  
"What is it Auntie?" Ok the crazy meter was going off the scale now. Sure Auntie was 'eccentric' but getting her to drink wierd 'magic' potions wasn't normal even for Auntie.  
  
"Don't worry it won't hurt you, actually it is to undo something that was done to you when you were only a baby. Ranma already drank his this morning and it's finished it's work with no ill effects."  
  
"Whaddya mean drank it this morning.."  
  
"There was nothing wrong with the orange juice dear."  
  
"Aiyah Shampoo wonder why airen dye hair."  
  
"Dye my hair what?" He pulled his pigtail over his shoulder to look at it. Sure enough it was a dirty blond colour. "Hey what the????"  
  
"Don't worry Ranma you were born with blond hair it's just the potion you were given as a baby changed your hair colour to black. Now Makoto if you would please drink that then I can get on with my explanation."  
  
Deciding that it couldn't do anymore harm she pulled off the cork and slammed it back. Who knows maybe she might look good as a blond.  
  
Nodoka looked relieved for some reason.  
  
"Ok now that that's done I can get to telling you exactly what that was for." She took a deep breath. "Long ago the world was filled with magic, dragons, elves, magical kingdoms were the norm. From these times the Lycanthrope race was created. Werewolves, tigers, rats, panthers, ravens etc came to power. They served the good queen Serendipity, however some of them got greedy and joined the forces of darkness. Sadly to say that that was the end of the era. The remaining lycanthropes used their magic to flee to a different world taking their magic with them. The world was plunged into darkness until man found technology and rebuilt the world. Not all of the magical creatures fled though, some decided to stay behind. Some of them were hunted by the humans, others warred among themselves. Such is the tale of the werewolves and the werecheetahs." She paused to take a drink of water.  
  
"The cheetahs and the wolves have been fighting amongst each other for over 500 years. About 20 years ago the werewolves invited the werecheetahs to live with them in peace. The werecheetah's who were tired of war decided to take them up on the offer." She sighed and looked down.  
  
"It was a trap. The werewolves and werecheetahs annihilated each other that day. Out of the dead the werecheetahs were the worst off with only four survivors. There were only forty werewolves left after the battle." Under her breath "About ten now."  
  
"Umm that's a great story mom but what does it have to do with us?" Ranma didn't like where this was going.  
  
"It has everything to do with us. You see dear I was on a diplomatic meeting with the Amazons when the wolves attacked."  
  
Time stopped as she seemed to shift and grow. Her loose outfit stretched as she grew to fit it. muscles buldged and hair grew. Her ears shifted so that they were near the top of her head. When it was done werecheetah Nodoka was standing in front of them.  
  
"I am a werecheetah."  
  
The results were not what she was expecting.  
  
"Ahhhhhh CAT!!!" As he practiced the Saotome cling to the ceiling technique.  
  
"Monster! Jupiter planet power make up!"  
  
"Aiyah!" Sching! Sching being the sound of a Chinese scimitar being drawn.  
  
"Umm oh my." This was definitely not how things were supposed to happen.  
  
Somewhere in the background an ancient Amazon elder and manservant were laughing their asses off.  
  
  
  
Authors notes:  
  
I'm terribly sorry again for this. It grabbed my attention and wouldn't let go until I wrote at least the first chapter or so. Don't worry though Cat's Tale is next on my to write list. 


	2. chapter 2

Disclaimer: I disclaim to own Ranma 1/2, Gold diggers, or Sailor moon. Don't own them but using their characters and situations to serve my own evil needs. MWAHAHAHAH.  
  
Chapter 2: Fight for your right to lick yourself.  
  
It had been over 5 minutes since Nodoka transformed and Ranma was still clinging to the ceiling, Shampoo was still standing warily with her sword drawn, and Sailor Jupiter was trying to figure out what was going on before she called in the cavalry. Cologne was just calming down now. Maybe she would get some help with this situation.  
  
From past experience she knew that the Sailor scouts packed a whole lot of magic and that lycanthropes and magic attacks didn't mix. She also didn't like the way Shampoo was holding that sword. It wasn't silvered but it still hurt when you got some part cut off. She decided to diffuse the situation a bit and switch back to her human form.  
  
"Mako chan? It's me Auntie."  
  
"You're not Auntie you're a monster that killed her and took over her!"  
  
"Makoto I've always been a were cheetah for as long as you've known me. I haven't told you till now because it was for your own safety."  
  
"My own safety! But..."  
  
"Do you remember dear when I was teaching you how to cook? The first thing you made was boiled rice. It burned onto the pot so badly that the smoke alarm went off. You cried so hard that day." She chuckled a bit to herself.  
  
"But you with the ears and the tail... were cheetah?"  
  
"Yes dear now if you could please change back you'd notice that your hair is also turning blond. The potion is removing the lock."  
  
"Wait a minute. The potion! What did you do to me!"  
  
"I'm afraid I've been lying to you for quite some time now... you see Makoto your parents were the other two survivors of the slaughter however they were followed by a pack of werewolves. They fought valiantly but in the end... As for the potion when you were five we gave both you and Ranma potions to lock you in your human form. The potion that I gave you was to undo the effects of the lock."  
  
"That means..." Makoto really didn't like this line of thought.  
  
"Yes dear you're a were cheetah the same as my son. If you look, your hair's changing colour."  
  
She detransformed and grabbed her ponytail. Sure enough from a nice light brown it had turned a dusty yellow.  
  
"You and Ranma should be able to shift forms now." She looked up to where Ranma was still clinging. "Ranma what are you doing up there?"  
  
Cologne stepped forward. "I believe that I may be able to answer that question." She cleared her throat. "You see when Ranma was six his father decided to teach Ranma something called the Neko ken. The training for this is very easy. You dig a pit and put cats in it. Starve the cats for a minimum of five days. You then take the trainee who should be under 8 years of age and wrap them in fish products. Toss the trainee into the pit. Repeat as necessary until either the trainee dies or goes permanently feral." Cologne tapered off as she saw Nodoka straining not to go half weir and run out to kill her husband.  
  
"You're joking right? No self respecting parent would ever do that to their kid. I mean you'd have to be some kind of moron to think that that's a legitimate technique." Makoto was hoping this was a joke. Nobody was that stupid.  
  
"You've never met pops. It took about 10 times in the pit before I finally snapped. Now whenever I'm around a c...c...cat for too long I lose it. I think I'm a cat and go around doing cat things."  
  
"Like what?" Nodoka needed to know about this Neko ken. It could be necessary to know what he could and would do in his cat state and how to get him out of it.  
  
"Umm shred trees, play with balls of yarn, shred pops, chase butterflies, shred 6 inch steel doors you know cat stuff."  
  
Everybody but Cologne was speechless at that last one, and that was only because she had witnessed him do it before.  
  
"You're kidding right? You can't really tear though steel doors right?" Sure she could punch through 3 inches of steel when she was sailor Jupiter and Uranus could punch through 4 inches.  
  
"Of course not I watched him do it." Said Cologne as she took a sip of her tea. "When he is in cat mode he's faster, stronger, and more agile than a normal human. He also is able to form ki claws that can rip through just about anything."  
  
"Yeah I've seen what I can do when I'm in cat mode but I don't remember any of it though."  
  
"So how do you usually get out of cat mode?"  
  
"Umm usually I just curl up on Akane's lap and sleep it off. Or triggering the Jusenkyo curse."  
  
"Umm curse?" asked Makoto. He was cursed?  
  
"Aheh. Yeah you see me n' pop went to this cursed training ground in China and picked up a couple of curses. You see there's all of these pools and if you fall into one you turn into the last thing that drowned there. Pops fell into the spring of drowned panda so whenever he's hit with cold water he turns into a panda." He paused to let it sink in. He knew it was a shock the first time.  
  
"So your father turns into a panda, what do you turn into?" She was curious and a little afraid. What if he turned into a horrible monster with the body of a bull, crane wings, an eel's tail and octopus tentacles. Well maybe the tentacles.  
  
Ranma walked over to where his mother had her drink on the desk. She noted that when he passed her that he kept his distance from her. This hurt her. Her son was afraid of her now. She really wanted to kill her husband. It was a long time since she'd been on a proper hunt. Maybe when she'd gotten her son over his fear she could take him and his fiancee's out for a good old fashioned hunt. She'd never had to hunt a human before, it should be good sport.  
  
When he'd retrieved the glass he walked back and stood right in front of Makoto and looked her right in the eye.  
  
"I fell into the spring of drowned girl. whenever I get hit with cold water I turn into a girl." He upended the juice over his head and say hello to blondie. Ranma's female form's hair had also turned blond to match his male form.  
  
"OK so you turn into a girl that's not so bad." Damn no tentacles.  
  
"Umm yeah I guess with you being a magical girl and all that wouldn't seem so weird." Well she did do the magic stuff for a living so he guessed she'd seen some pretty weird shit.  
  
"You guys all saw that?" Everyone nodded. "Umm I guess it's too late to ask you to forget that isn't it?" Everyone nodded again. "Oh great. Could you kinda not tell anyone." If the other girls got wind that she'd blown her cover they'd never let her live it down.  
  
"Of course dear. You needn't have asked. We all have our secrets here. Now what I really need to teach you is how to change forms. Ranma this includes you too." Maybe changing will help him get used to cats. She hoped so at least. Standing up straight she motioned for Ranma and Makoto to stand in front of her.  
  
"Ok this should be pretty easy to learn, you should be able to get it on the first try." She turned to Ranma. "Son I really would like you to try this. It is my hope that by getting used to your feline side that you will eventually get over your fear." The best way to get over a fear was to confront it head on. Or at least she hoped this was the case.  
  
"Ok both of you close your eyes." They both closed their eyes. "Ok now imagine three buttons all in a row. Do you see them?" They both nodded. "The first button should be lit right now. This is your human form, in the past other visualizations were used but I've found that buttons are easy to visualize. You can use switches, levers, etc it's the mental focus that is important. This little trick will help you until you get the hang of transforming. Until then you can use this like a crutch." She paused to let this sink in. "Ok now imagine your hand reaching out and pressing the middle button. The first change may feel a little strange but there's nothing to worry about."  
  
When Nodoka told them to press the middle button they both started shaking slightly. Both of them grew taller tearing their clothes in the process. Their breasts grew bigger tearing their shirts even more. Their ears shifted to the top of their heads. Finally fur grew over their entire body. When it was over Ranma's head snapped violently to the side and stayed there for a couple of seconds then it went back to face forward.  
  
Makoto was the first one to open her eyes. Since she was naturally tall she was used to looking at things from a higher perspective than most people, however she was now at least a foot taller than she normally was. It was quite disheartening really. The next thing that she noticed was that she felt strong. Really strong. Without testing it she figured that she was at least as strong as she was in scout form. The really scary thing was that it felt perfectly natural for her to be this way. She was kind of hoping that it would feel wrong somehow and that she could get them to change her back.  
  
"Cool I feel great!" Ok so maybe being a monster wouldn't be so bad. There was just one more thing that she needed to try. She pulled out her transformation pen.  
  
"Jupiter Planet Power! Make up!" Crickets.  
  
"Jupiter Planet Power Make up." Still nothing.  
  
"I would assume that it doesn't work while you're transformed dear." If it didn't work when she changed back then she'd just opened a big can of worms.  
  
"I hope so Auntie." She really didn't mind it too much right now she felt as though she could take on all of the scouts and win.  
  
It was about that time that Shampoo spoke up. "Aiyah, airen alright?" She was trying her best not to sound intimidated. Ranma was now taller than her and looking very cat like. Also the fact that Ranma hadn't opened her eyes yet and was flicking two foot long claws in and out from between her fingers.  
  
Makoto took a quick step back. She had no idea where the claws were coming from but they looked sharp and she didn't want to be anywhere near him if he decided to play scratching post.  
  
"Ranma are you alright dear." Nodoka was worried, she'd been so focused on Makoto that she'd completely missed the fact that her own offspring hadn't moved other than extending and retracting his claws.  
  
All of a sudden Ranma's claws fully retracted and her eyes flew open.  
  
"Yes motherrrr I'm just fine." She seemed to purr a bit when she spoke. It was interesting if not a bit weird.  
  
"Ranma I would like to try something." Spoke Cologne as she reached into weapons space to pull out a metal club. "If you don't mind could you cut this in half."  
  
"Certainly Elderrrrr." She unsheathed her claws. "Rrrrready."  
  
"No no if you could use your ki claws. You remember how to make them don't you?" She hoped she was right about this.  
  
"Alright." She retracted her claws. Once her claws were fully retracted three foot long red energy claws sprouted from between her knuckles. "Ready."  
  
Cologne tossed the club towards Ranma. With a quick swipe of her 'paw' the club fell apart into three neatly cut segments. "That was easy."  
  
"I think that the cat persona and his human persona have merged somehow. He has access to the neko ken but he will act like a cat. I want to test a theory." She turned her attention fully towards Ranma. "Ok Ranma look at Makoto." Ranma turned and looked at Makoto like he was asked to do.  
  
"Ok now what?"  
  
"Are you afraid? She does look like a cat."  
  
"You'rrrre rrrrrright and a very good looking cat at that." Ranma said purring a bit at the end.  
  
Makoto blushed a bit at that but it was mostly hid by her facial fur.  
  
"Now what I want you to do is change back to human." She hoped she was wrong about it and that Ranma wouldn't remain cat like when he changed back.  
  
Closing her eyes Ranma changed back into her normal form. Changing back was almost as weird as changing into her hybrid form. When she opened her eyes....  
  
"Ahhhhh CATTT!!' She proceeded to perfect the cling to the ceiling technique.  
  
"Ranma change back, change back!" Ok so he was still afraid of cats but only in his human form.  
  
Unfortunately for him in his haste he hit the third button. The sudden change coupled with the fact that she didn't have her claws out caused her to slip off the ceiling. However cats always land on their feet. Except in this case.  
  
Thud  
  
It's a good thing her head is made of rock or else something might have been damaged.  
  
"Are you alright son?" If he wasn't in control he could do tons of damage with those new claws of his.  
  
The cheetah growled a bit and nodded its head. Everybody let out a breath at that, they would not have to restrain him.  
  
"Ok Ranma change back into your human form." That was enough poking fate with a sharp stick for today. "Makoto you should be able to change into your full cheetah form as well. As you can see with my son your clothing will not change with you." Nodoka commented as she noticed Ranma pulling up her pants. She had made sure before she changed back to face away from Makoto. Freaking out again today was just not on her list of things to do.  
  
Makoto changed back to her human form. There was something that she needed to know.  
  
"Jupiter Planet Power Make up!" Insert flashy transformation sequence. She looked herself over. Nothing seemed to be any different. She tried changing to her hybrid form but found that she couldn't. She let her transformation drop.  
  
"I can't change to hybrid when I'm Sailor Jupiter either."  
  
"That's not as bad then. Having magic and being a were cheetah are probably not a good thing." She nodded. "Ok now for some rules. These are things that you need to know. First of all when you are in hybrid and full cheetah form you have super accelerated healing. That means that if you lose a limb or get cut etc it will heal or grow back in about a day or two. There are some exceptions to this. If your head is cut off you die, if you are sufficiently hurt you will die. You are vulnerable to silver, magic, and other were creatures. Injuries from any of these three ways takes five times longer to heal than a normal wound." She paused for a bit. "You can die from these kind of injuries. Luckily anything silvered or magical has a blue aura about it and if a were creature is coming after you, you should be able to spot them pretty easily." She chuckled a bit. "Feel free to kill any werewolves you come across though."  
  
Makoto was just coming to terms with what she was. Sure it was weird but not quite as strange as being Sailor Jupiter.  
  
"Well Auntie when you said it was going to be a surprise you weren't kidding." She chuckled a bit.  
  
"Actually Mako chan that wasn't the surprise." She wished she'd thought to bring her camera.  
  
"Umm it's not."  
  
"No it isn't. You see before you were born your parents and I pledged that if we had children of opposite genders they would be engaged to be married, and regardless of what my son looks like right now he is definitely male..."  
  
"So I'm engaged to him!"  
  
"Yes that's true." Makoto didn't sound as happy as she thought she would be.  
  
"But I haven't even had a boyfriend yet! And now you tell me I'm engaged to some guy I've never even met before!" She left out that he turned into a girl but it was implied. "So what's next? Are you going to tell me that that girl over there is also engaged to him?"  
  
"No dear she is not engaged to him."  
  
"Well that's good."  
  
"She's actually his wife."  
  
"..."  
  
Nodoka sighed and started to rub her temples.  
  
"Makoto I'm sorry to do this. You are like a daughter to me however you must understand your situation. You are one of two female were cheetah's left in all of existence it is your duty to have children to make sure that the were cheetah's don't go extinct. It is true that you can have children with normal humans however it is much more difficult. It took Genma and I only a few tries however it usually takes years of trying. " She looked up. "I'm not telling you that you have to like it, hell Ranma is still against it but he's going to give it a try. Please just try this, that's all I ask."  
  
After a few minutes of silence.  
  
"Alright I'll give it a try."  
  
Nodoka looked relieved.  
  
"On three conditions though. I want to be his girlfriend first, we decide when and if we get married..." She trialed off.  
  
"And the third condition?" Asked Ranma. He was pretty happy with her conditions. No pressure.  
  
Makoto looked down and blushed heavily. "The third condition is that I want both of them to propose to me. I've always wanted someone to get down on their knees and ask me to marry them, you know romantic like."  
  
Nodoka started laughing very hard.  
  
"Alright conditions accepted." She got out in-between chuckles. "Now it's getting pretty late what do you say we get something to eat?"  
  
"Food!" the kids were getting hungry now.  
  
"Alright Walter this is a special time. break out the Zebra and Antelope!"  
  
"???"  
  
"Umm Auntie we don't eat Zebra." Something was starting to click now in Makoto's head.  
  
"Of course we do dear we're cheetahs we have to eat zebra every so often or our claws get brittle. You now know the reason for the zebra out back."  
  
"You mean that we eat them?" Sure Nabiki often told him that if he tried he could eat a horse. Well maybe someday he'd give it a try.  
  
"Yup of course if you want we don't have to cook it. However I don't think our human guests would appreciate having to watch us rip into raw meat." Too bad too, she rather enjoyed the more carnal side of her nature. She would have to make sure that Cologne and Shampoo were elsewhere durring one of the parties.  
  
Makoto looked a little green at that. "You mean raw meat? That's disgusting!"  
  
"Dear you eat sushi trust me I know, what's the difference between that and a leg of zebra?" Besides things tasted different when you're in your hybrid and cheetah forms, but I'll let them figure that out on their own.  
  
"I'd prefer my meat cooked please." Cologne wasn't quite about to do as in Rome in this circumstance. "Besides I haven't had good roasted zebra in years."  
  
"Auntie I've never cooked zebra before do you think you could teach me how?" Oh well at least it was a new recipe. If it was any good she'd bring some of it to a scout meeting. She laughed at the thought of Usagi choking back big hunks of zebra and then her telling them what it is.  
  
"Shampoo help mother in kitchen too." Like hell she'd let her co-wife get the upper hand on this. If they had to live together she was damned sure she was going to make this work.  
  
"Alright both of you really should learn to do this." Nodoka started walking off with both girls trailing her. After they had gone Ranma turned to Walter.  
  
"Umm you know mom's a cheetah right?"  
  
"Yes young master it would be quite hard not to realize it especially with the number of times that she goes about the house in her hybrid form." He chuckled a bit. Young master Ranma would have to get used to his hybrid form or get used to cats really quick. Both the mistress and he loved their hybrid forms much better than their human forms because of the extra strength and in her case stupid amounts of speed.  
  
"So what are you?" Please not another cat.  
  
"I believe it would be best if you changed back to your hybrid form young Ranma... at least until we can figure out how to cure you of your fear."  
  
Ranma didn't even close his eyes this time just switching to hybrid form. His poor clothes were showing lots of wear and tear from changing back and forth. When he was finished changing and Walter was almost certain that he wouldn't freak out he too shifted. He grew taller, his ears went to the top of his head, a tail grew from his back, and midnight black fur grew all over his body.  
  
"I am a were panther. We're not as strong or as fast as the other were cats but what we lack in physical attributes we more than make up for in stealth abilities." Were panthers were almost as good at stealth as were rats and didn't have that nasty habit of stabbing you in the back when you weren't looking.  
  
"Very dashing young man, is there by any chance a young lady in your life these days?" So what if the odds of a human and a lycanthrope having a child were a little high she knew quite a few girls back in the village who would jump at the chance to jump into the sack with this wild cat. Ahh if she was only 280 years younger.  
  
While the men and old troll I mean honored elder were discussing the finer points of lycanthropy and Walter was furiously ducking the elders not so veiled hints that an amazon bride or three would do him a world of good. The rest of the females however were in the kitchen preparing supper for the rest of the horde. (Mostly Ranma)  
  
"Ok before we begin Mako chan could you please change to hybrid form."  
  
Concentrating for a second she complied. Shampoo had to fight the urge to turn her co-wife to be into a rug. If it wasn't for Ranma she wouldn't tolerate this at all.  
  
"Ok now Shampoo could you go into the freezer over there and pick out a couple of big hunks of meat."  
  
Shampoo looked around but couldn't find anything that looked like a freezer other than the obvious fridge freezer but that couldn't possibly hold meat large enough to feed everybody.  
  
"Where freezer?"  
  
"Yeah Auntie you don't have a freezer." Even Makoto was confused. For the entire time she'd cooked here she'd always used the fridge, there was no freezer.  
  
"Of course there is." She smiled "You've just never seen it. Keeping zebra is one thing eating them is quite another. If you would go to the cookbook shelf and get me my Cook with Emeril cookbook." Wait'll they get a load of this.  
  
Shampoo went over to the cookbook shelf and tried to pull off the Emeril cookbook. When she encountered resistance she pulled harder. She had to stop when she heard a click and the book stopped moving. She yelped and leapt back as the entire shelf descended into the floor. Behind the shelf was a large metal walk in freezer door.  
  
"Aiyahhh." Just like a secret agent movie with the secret doors and everything.  
  
"Go ahead dear we need one of the hind shanks and maybe a roast or two." Had to plan ahead her son sure could eat a lot.  
  
Inside the freezer Shampoo was confronted with whole carcasses that were vacuum packed and hanging from hooks. On the shelves there were other various meat products in various stages of butchering. She secretly wondered just what she'd gotten herself into. She grabbed a couple of beef roasts off of the shelves as she walked towards the back of the freezer. At the back she found several hind legs that were also packaged. The eerie thing is that they still had the hooves on them. She hefted one of the larger ones over her shoulder. As she turned around she noticed that while one side of the freezer was entirely meat the other side of the freezer contained other things like vegetables, ice cream, and several other foodstuffs like flour and margarine and butter. Deciding that it wasn't as scary as it originally was. She just wondered why they would need all that meat.  
  
When she exited the freezer and closed the door she noticed a red button on the right hand side.  
  
"Could you push the red button on your way out?" Nodoka called out.  
  
Shampoo did as she was told and pushed the button. There was a grinding noise like when the bookshelf slid away in the first place. This time she noticed that it was sliding up from the floor. Hustling she jumped through the opening making it just before it slid completely shut.  
  
"Good work now if you could bring those here so that we can work on them." Shampoo was turning out to be such a nice and obedient girl nothing like Walter had described her.  
  
"Now if you could go over to the stove and start the rice Makoto and I will get this cut up."  
  
"Shampoo want help mother too." Damn it she could make rice in her sleep besides cutting up frozen meat wouldn't be too much of a problem.  
  
Nodoka unsheathed her claws. "I know dear but this is training of sorts for Makoto on how to use her claws. Besides I really need to get the rice done sometime. If you could also go to the fridge there should be some vegetables that can also be cut up for a stir-fry. I think something a little more traditional will help put my son's mind at ease."  
  
Shampoo sighed and put away the sword that she'd brought out while Nodoka was speaking. She needed to be very careful. Ranma was still leery of her and didn't quite trust her. Not that she could really trust Ranma or her co-wife. Werewolves were always the bad guys in the stories great- grandmother always told her. Were were cheetahs any different? She didn't know, she'd rather not find out either. She would make it a habit to sleep with a silvered dagger under her pillow until such a time as she was sure she wouldn't wake up to find one of them knawing on her leg.  
  
While Shampoo was off working in another area of the kitchen Nodoka was instructing Makoto on the proper way to use her claws.  
  
"Now using your claws may seem a bit weird at first but soon it will feel as natural as breathing. The first rule is to never ever unsheathe your claws unless you plan on using them they are extremely sharp and you may forget that you have them out. This can be extremely dangerous and even fatal so be careful." She paused to let this sink in.  
  
"Ok got it really sharp dangerous be careful. Now what do we do with this leg?"  
  
"Alright the first thing we need to do is remove the hoof." She sliced a little notch about mid calf. "Ok I've marked where you need to cut now aim well and cut straight down stopping when you hit the cutting board.  
  
Winding up she brought her hand down in a raking motion so that her middle claw would impact with the notch Nodoka had made. To her surprise there was not as much resistance as she would have expected. The hoof and a bit of the bone fell away along with a fair sized chunk of the cutting board.  
  
Nodoka sweat dropped. "Not bad for your first try. Now the next thing we need to do is..."  
  
Nodoka continued to instruct Makoto and then Shampoo on the finer points of cooking. Ranma had decided that he would feel better as a male went and changed. His increase in height and other dimensions was too much for his poor clothes and they decided to fall apart on him. He changed into his larger sized outfit and found that it was still a bit small on him. He blushed as he remembered Makoto and how she looked as her own outfit struggled to contain her larger form. He blushed even harder as he had a short fantasy of the clothing ripping off her exposing her in all her glory. Quickly shaking his head to get rid of those images before he got a nosebleed he grabbed the second set of clothes and went downstairs. He doubted that he could get through dinner with Makoto looking the way she did.  
  
When he got downstairs he noted that Walter and Cologne were nowhere to be found. He decided to leave the clothes at the dining room table, if she wanted to Makoto could change into them before supper. If he didn't know any better he would have thought that his mother was purposely parading Makoto around to try and get him to realize how hot she was. He didn't need to be told she was good looking that was obvious in itself.  
  
Deciding for now that he didn't want to stick around and do nothing, he did what he usually did when he was bored, he went to the dojo to work out.  
  
Upon reaching the dojo he found that it was already occupied. Cologne and Walter were sparring. He noticed that in his hybrid form Walter was stronger but not much faster than he had been when they were sparring. Cologne was not going full out as she easily evaded Walters strikes as easily as she usually avoided his. They continued to spar for another fifteen minutes before Cologne decided that she had humiliated him enough. She exploded to full Amagouriken speed for a couple of seconds. Walter seemed to freeze then fell on his face.  
  
"Well done sonny but you're a hundred years too young to beat me." Cologne chortled. It was fun to show these young pups that they still had a long way to go before they were as good as her.  
  
"Yo old Ghoul now that you'rrre done warrrrming up how about trrrying the main event." He felt ten times stronger and faster in this new form. So what if the old Ghoul had a few tricks up her sleeve there was no way she would be able to keep up with him now.  
  
"If you think you can beat me you've still got a lot to learn kitten." Oh she was going to get him for that 'old Ghoul' remark.  
  
They faced off in the middle of the dojo Walter walking stiffly off to the side. Ranma bowed towards Cologne and she returned the bow but not bowing as low as he did. Ranma got into his 'I'm not in a stance stance' and waited for Cologne to make the first move. When it was obvious that she wasn't he charged in. Or at least that's what he tried to do. He found that he couldn't move a muscle.  
  
She casually pogo'd up to him and poked him in the side of the neck immediately dropping him to the ground unconscious. When she was sure that he was good and asleep did she let her own guard down and dropped to the ground panting.  
  
"It's been a long time since I'd had to do that. I'd forgotten how taxing it is against a powerful opponent." She gulped in some air and resumed her panting.  
  
"What exactly did you do?" This was something Walter never expected, he thought that Ranma would wipe the floor with the old woman, after all once a were cheetah got going it was pretty hard to catch them.  
  
"I used my ki to form a stasis field around him. That held him in place long enough for me to hit his sleep point. I dare say that if he wasn't so surprised he may have been able to struggle out of it and I would have been finished." She'd seen what his kind were capable of and had no illusions about the outcome of the fight if she had allowed him to move.  
  
"So if I wanted to beat you, now would pretty much be the time right?" Walter was just joking of course.  
  
"I've still got more than enough to take you on kitten." She was bluffing... well mostly.  
  
The decided to sit down and wait for Ranma to wake up. Hopefully before supper was ready.  
  
In another part of town Garsmsh was draining yet another hapless human for his master. Unlike Slobodian, Garsmsh had not figured out the art of being subtle therefore.....  
  
"Graaa!" He was in the middle of a crowded mall draining people with abandon. This activity was usually enough to summon  
  
"Halt! Malls are for the enjoyment of everybody and shopping for cute outfits with your boyfriend..." guess who's shopping date just got cancelled. "in the name of the moon I'll punish you!"  
  
Mercury who'd learned her lesson last time was busy scanning the youma while Moon was making her stupid speech. "It's got damage resistance but no magic resistance at all." Ok so they wouldn't need Jupiter or the Outers but damn it she was going to give Jupiter a talking to about not answering her communicator.  
  
"So what does that mean?" Asked Mars.  
  
"We shoot it till it dies. Mercury Aqua Illusion." Shouted Mercury as she unleashed her attack. The others soon followed suit.  
  
"Mars Fireball."  
  
"Venus crescent beam."  
  
The three attacks hit and the monster crumbled to dust even before Moon could do her super ultra finishing move. She of course started sniveling.  
  
"But.... but I didn't even get to finish it off. I usually have to be the one to finish them. Wahhhhh I wanted to kill it for love and justice." She was doing a good impression of a certain Tendo patriarch.  
  
"Knock it off meatball head now that it is dead you can go back to your date with Mamarou." Geeze she was sixteen years old and she acted like she was five.  
  
"Oh right. Oh Mamo-chan!" She skipped off to change back and continue her date with Mamarou for once without the chibi brat.  
  
"Honestly I have no idea why she is the only one of us with a boyfriend when she acts like that." Venus wasn't jealous nope not a bit.  
  
"Come on lets go for some ice cream, I could really use some right about now." Mercury was still going over what she was going to say to Makoto about dereliction of duty.  
  
They detransformed and went to drown their sorrows in a deep chocolate fudge sundae. Minako quickly perked up when she remembered the new transfer student they had yesterday and spoke at length about how cute he was and how she was going to get him as a boyfriend. The others just tuned her out as usual.  
  
Back at the ranch.  
  
Nodoka, Makoto, and Shampoo were putting the finishing touches on the feast that they called supper. When they were finished Makoto went to set the table. She found the clothes that Ranma had left for her. Belatedly she realized exactly how she was 'busting' out of her clothes and what she must look like. She decided to take him up on the offer and change. The clothes were still tight and showed off her figure to a dangerous degree but they weren't as revealing as her now shredded school clothes. She sighed as she looked down. She would need to get a new bra to hold these monsters she now sported. She was always top heavy but now it was just ridiculous.  
  
"Mako-chan could you go and tell everybody that supper is ready."  
  
"Yes auntie." She replied as she jumped down the stairs and took off towards the most likely place that they would be.  
  
When she arrived at the dojo she found Ranma, Cologne and Walter. Ranma having recently woken up and was now trying to copy something Cologne was showing him. He looked to almost have it down when she interrupted.  
  
"Come on food's ready."  
  
"Alright Son-in-law you can finish that later."  
  
"But I've almost got it."  
  
"Auntie will be upset if we're late. There may not be enough food for everyone so if you don't hurry there may not be any left."  
  
The vortex that was created almost swept Makoto off her feet.  
  
"They say dearie that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Ranma has a four lane expressway." She regarded Makoto for a bit then added. "You'll do just fine." She cackled as she moved to follow Ranma's path but at a much reduced rate.  
  
Walter followed her leaving Makoto in the dojo by herself. She wondered what she meant by that. She'd do just fine as what? Ranma's wife? She wasn't quite sure about that yet.  
  
At the table Ranma was sitting in his spot. On either side of him there was a place set for one of the girls. They were still in the kitchen getting ready to bring out supper. He nervously looked from side to side. He was doomed, he just knew it.  
  
When they started bringing out the food he was drooling. Shampoo and Makoto brought out a massive amount of stir fried vegetables and rice. He was pretty happy with just this. That was before his mother came out. His enhanced sense of smell picked up something delicious. When she came out with the shank he almost lost it.  
  
As soon as the food hit the table he engaged his ki claws and sliced off a giant hunk of meat. He started eating it with his hands, his sharp teeth tearing of great chunks which he wolfed down.  
  
Nodoka just hung her head. She hoped that this was just one of those cat tendencies that she'd have to break him of.  
  
"Ranma mind your manners!" Nodoka said forcefully not quite shouting.  
  
"EEp!" Ranma jumped at that he'd been so into eating the yummy food that he'd literally ripped into it like an animal.  
  
"Uhh sorry I just smelled it and then... it was like I couldn't stop myself. Umm it's very good by the way." He sheepishly hung his head.  
  
"That's alright, just try to control yourself a little better."  
  
"Yes mom." He said, right before he started licking his hands clean like a cat does.  
  
Nodoka started banging her head against the table. When she found her husband she was going to make sure that she became a widow really fast.  
  
Somewhere near the China/Mongolia boarder Genma sneezed. It sure was cold here but it was a hell of a lot better than being with his wife. Who knows what she'd do if she ever found out about some of the shit that he'd pulled with the boy.  
  
Nodoka was busy contemplating the various ways that she was going to eviscerate her husband for maximum pain for the buck.  
  
Makoto and Shampoo were trying to eat their food, each of them doing their best to ignore Ranma. It was getting harder and harder by the minute. When he transformed into full cheetah form and was about to start licking his privates is when Shampoo drew the line. She pulled out one of her bonbori and smacked him on the head knocking him out.  
  
"Thanks, I really didn't want to say anything but that was getting kinda embarrassing."  
  
"Too too true. Shampoo never see Ranma act like that before. He no lick self at table."  
  
"It has to be that Neko ken. Auntie do we act like that? I don't feel any different, well except for my senses being heightened."  
  
"Well I don't really know what it's like to be completely human but you won't act like Ranma does. Hell I hope we can get him to start acting better." It would be so embarrassing if she caught him one time cleaning himself. "Please don't hold this against him."  
  
"Him act normal when not in cat mode. Maybe he just need learn focus more, he doing fine until stop concentrating." Although she wouldn't mind if he cleaned her like that.  
  
"Yeah you're right when he was actually concentrating he only purred his r's." This marriage bit just kept getting better and better Makoto thought grumpily. Not only did she have to share him but when he was in cat form he acted like an uncivilized beast. For some reason she felt like going out and getting a mallet.  
  
Somewhere a tomboy sneezed.  
  
After supper was finished (they'd left enough for Ranma) Nodoka and the girls were lounging in the living room while Walter and Ranma were doing the dishes. Ranma was working on trying to control his cat like urges. So far it was a losing battle.  
  
"Auntie are you sure about this? I mean it's like he was raised in the wild or something."  
  
"He was raised in the wild." Yet another thing she had to kill her husband for.  
  
"But I can't marry him!"  
  
"Ranma good man, is just too too strange now. I is sure he get through this too." At least she hoped he got better.  
  
They sat and talked for a while. Eventually Ranma, Walter and Cologne joined them. Ranma was trying to keep up a conversation and was doing fairly good only rolling his r's. Eventually Nodoka noticed that it was getting late.  
  
"Ranma would you mind walking Makoto home?"  
  
"Ahh sure no problem." He was about to get up and walk out the door when his mother called out to him.  
  
"Dear remember you've got to change back first."  
  
"Ahh crap sorry I kinda forgot." He changed back to his human form with predictable results.  
  
"CAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTtttt."  
  
"Makoto could you go after him please." Makoto got up from where she was sitting and started off after her errant fiancé. "And don't you forget to change back either!" Nodoka called out.  
  
In fact she had forgotten to change back. These new forms were as natural to her as breathing, strange as it was. She had completely forgotten that she was in her hybrid form. She changed back and suddenly found herself in a very loose shirt and pants. She cinched up the waist so that it wouldn't fall off and went outside. There was Ranma by the gate shaking like a leaf. Poor guy he must be going through his worst nightmare whether he's transformed or not.  
  
He looked up to see her walking towards him. "Sorry about that I'm really not like that it's just... the cat wants to come out and play and I've got to watch everything I do or I lose it."  
  
"Well other than cleaning yourself you weren't any worse than my last date." Neanderthal that he was. It was also the last time she went on a blind date arranged by Ami.  
  
"When I first changed... I was so afraid... it's like I've become the monsters that my friends and I fight. It was kinda scary. I was hoping that it would feel you know wrong somehow..." she started  
  
"But it felt right, like you've always known you could change and wondering why you couldn't..." he took up the conversation where she stopped.  
  
"And then you do it and boom you feel complete." She finished  
  
"Yeah I know."  
  
They walked in silence for a few minutes before Ranma decided to speak up.  
  
"I don't recommend it." He said.  
  
"This fiancée thing?"  
  
"Nah that's not too bad I mean you're cute, you can cook, you're smart... What I mean is I don't know why guys aren't beating down your door." Mr. clueless scores another home run batting with a frozen fish.  
  
Makoto blushed furiously. "Well most guys tend to avoid me because I'm so tall and because I do martial arts guys avoid me like the plague." It was one of the things that depressed her was the fact that boys actively avoided her.  
  
Looking over at her Ranma noticed that she might be an inch or so taller than he was. "Well you've got a boyfriend now." Lift foot, season with 11 herbs and spices, serves one. Bon appetite. "You've also got a girlfriend out of the deal too."  
  
"Jerk" She did not need to be reminded of that little complication.  
  
"But seriously I don't mind that your taller than me. All I've got to do is switch to my hybrid form and I'll be taller. Also the fact that you do martial arts is pretty much standard with the girls that hang around me so it's not weird at all."  
  
Makoto was about to respond but the monster in front of her pretty much cut off whatever she was going to say.  
  
"Foolisssh humansss. You will give me your energy NOW."  
  
Ranma turned to Makoto. "Well it's your job isn't it?"  
  
"I'm kind of tired tonight. Do you want to take this."  
  
"I'd like to do it myself by maybe you should be standing by just incase you know strength in numbers kinda thing."  
  
"What scared?"  
  
"Nope not really it's just you've got way more experience fighting these things and hey having a cute cheering section never hurts." And having some heavy magical backup if he couldn't hurt this damned thing.  
  
By this time the monster had pretty much had enough of the puny humans ignoring it. "Enough your energy is mine!"  
  
Neither Ranma nor Makoto said a word. Makoto still had to close her eyes to change but other than that in a couple of seconds there were two were cheetah's ready for action.  
  
"EEp!" To find out who said this let's take a look at general youma building.  
  
First of all you must understand that youma or monsters are easier to build than people think. The easiest way to make a monster is to take a base natural creature or object and infuse it with negative energy or a spirit of some kind. The resulting monster has characteristics of the base object or creature, along with some of the instincts or mannerisms of the creature.  
  
The monster in question was based off a fairly common city critter. It was male which for a monster was uncommon. It had grey fur, large ears, a long pink tail, and buck teeth.  
  
Squeakor was a mouse monster and seeing two large cat people appear in front of him was not on his things to do list. He pretty much had one thought about this situation.  
  
"Fuck"  
  
Ranma charged first extending his ki claws. He had no idea what to expect but didn't really feel like playing with it until he determined if it was actually a threat.  
  
When he got within striking range he let loose with a lazy swipe intending to remove it's arm. Amazingly enough it dodged (mostly) and only got a small cut. Realistically the cut should have been a lot deeper than it was but Squeekor did get a lot of damage resistance when he was created.  
  
"Damn that things tough." Ranma swore under his breath as he easily dodged Squeekor's retaliatory attacks. "Alright no more Mr. nice guy."  
  
He exploded into motion easily surpassing his normal amagouriken speed. Squeekor had scads of damage resistance but then again Ranma could do a lot of damage. In the end his damage reduction only served to prolong his suffering as he was slowly carved up. When it was finally over Squeekor exploded into a pile of dust.  
  
"Man that was fun." Ranma said as he shook himself to get rid of the dust. "It really took a lot of damage before finally going down."  
  
Makoto shifted back to her human form before responding. "Usually they take quite a bit before they finally die. Most of the time you've got to hit them with magic or else you can't hurt them." Except for this latest batch which couldn't quite get the balance between damage and magic resistance.  
  
Ranma changed back after she did. "You know I wouldn't mind a couple of those things as sparring partners." He started walking again Makoto falling into step beside him.  
  
"Baka they're monsters. They exist to suck humans of their energy."  
  
"What about us then? We're monsters too. I don't feel like going out and draining humans of energy."  
  
"Neither do I but..."  
  
"Your friends won't see it that way would they?" Damn he'd have to teach her the Saotome Final attack.  
  
"No, no they wouldn't." She looked up at him. "I've got to tell them don't I?" She really hated that part. "I'll tell them at the next meeting." She paused for a bit. "I wouldn't mind some backup just incase something goes wrong."  
  
"Worried one of them might shoot first and keep shooting."  
  
"Something like that..." Images of Uranus danced through her head and all the times that she 'overreacted'  
  
"Tell you what I'll teach you a martial arts move that should allow you to escape."  
  
"You would? Great! After school we usually go to Rei's temple how about you show it to me before then."  
  
"Sounds good. I know of a couple of spots that we can train in. It's so easy you'll have it down in fifteen minutes tops."  
  
"Great!" Nobody taught her anything new nowadays. At least there was one good thing that may come of this engagement, her martial arts skills should get better.  
  
"You know you never did tell me not to try."  
  
"Huh when?" He asked trying to remember the conversation before the monster showed up. "Oh yeah that. I really don't recommend the cleaning yourself no matter how curious you get. Fur in your mouth just is gross."  
  
Makoto just had to laugh at that. "Maybe we'll have to get you a flea collar as well."  
  
"Not funny." He grumped.  
  
They arrived in front of a fairly nice apartment building. "This is my place." Makoto said looking up at her apartment. "I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow then."  
  
"Yeah I guess so. Umm goodnight then." He bowed and then turned around and started walking away.  
  
"Ranma wait up!" Makoto called out while running towards him.  
  
As with most anime's accidental kisses where either the female or male trips or something else happens and the two characters share a passionate kiss.  
  
That didn't happen here.  
  
Makoto did trip but she was way too close to him. She ended up flying through the air. Breasts, face, Ranma on bottom.  
  
Not the best way to start a long lasting relationship but it works in a pinch.  
  
Terminally embarrassed Makoto apologized profusely while trying to hide her beet red face. She then turned around and ran into her apartment at full speed.  
  
Ranma was left on the ground stunned but not unconscious. He was noting the differences between being shoved between Shampoo's and Makoto's breasts. It was a tough comparison.  
  
"I must have them both." He hit himself upside his head. "Great now I'm sounding like Kuno." He got up and started walking home.  
  
When he passed by the spot where he killed the monster he saw a couple of sailor scouts just leaving the scene.  
  
As soon as he got home he went straight up to his room. Seeing a lump on one side of the bed he decided that teasing fate with a squeaky toy was probably not the best thing that he could do, he decided to change into full cheetah form and sleep on the floor tonight.  
  
When he'd reached full cheetah he glanced back at the bed.... and had to keep himself from falling over.  
  
On the bed was Shampoo, he'd already guessed that but now he could smell her. What shocked him though was the blue glows that were coming from underneath her pillow, strapped to her leg, and between the mattress. If he wasn't so afraid he'd be scared. Apparently Shampoo still loved him enough to want to sleep with him but didn't trust him enough not to make a snack out of her.  
  
He curled up on the floor on his side of the bed and went to sleep.  
  
Tomorrow was another day.  
  
Unfortunately.  
  
Authors Notes  
  
Well there it is another chapter of Fast Tracks. I guess I'd better get some things cleared up before I get tons of e-mail correcting me. First yes I am aware that cheetah's don't normally eat zebra and their claws don't retract, HOWEVER in the gold diggers universe Brittany is able to retract her claws and they also get brittle if she doesn't eat zebra. So well since this is in the GD universe same here.  
  
nealharris@otakumail.com 


	3. chapter3

Disukurama: I don't own these, never claimed to own these. Not mine.  
  
Chapter 3: Dodge like you want to live!  
  
The next morning the sun was shining and the birds were chirping in the trees. Nodoka and Cologne were in the kitchen cooking breakfast when they were startled by a scream of primal terror. Then some banging like something was being tossed against the wall or things being overturned, and finally a yellow and black streak down the stairs as a terrified cheetah ran down them with a purple haired girl chasing him with a wicked silvered knife.  
  
What happened was that Shampoo had gotten up before Ranma but she was still in a half asleep state. As she was stumbling around she accidentally stepped on Ranma's tail. He screamed, she screamed. Lots of bumping around ensued with his desk being knocked over and a lamp breaking. Ranma finally took off out of the room when Shampoo finally remembered her knife.  
  
Needless to say Nodoka was less than impressed. A few rules were established that morning.  
  
1) Shampoo was not allowed to sleep with Ranma until she felt comfortable enough to NOT bring weaponry to bed with her.  
  
She grumped at this because she always slept with her bonbori. They were like her teddy bear.  
  
2) All silvered weapons must now be kept under lock and key with the other weapons.  
  
She complained that she'd be defenseless if she was attacked by a werewolf. Nodoka countered that it was a good show of faith and to build trust. When her great-grandmother stepped into the conversation she never knew what hit her. She said that she'd have a way that Shampoo could fight but still not harm her Airens. Nodoka was a bit leery of it but eventually relented when Cologne assured her that the weapon could be keyed to not harm certain people.  
  
Then she turned her focus towards Shampoo going to school. The railroading that occurred pretty much had Shampoo into a school outfit faster than you could say 'Aiyah.'  
  
So it was that Ranma and Shampoo were off to school on this fine day. Ranma was wearing a white shirt and black pants while Shampoo was wearing the sailor style girl's uniform. Where Cologne got such a thing in her size on virtually no notice she really didn't want to know. Since they had started off early they had plenty of time to get to school. Shampoo was trudging along, dragging her feet and picking at her school uniform. She really didn't want to go to school.  
  
"Stupid school Shampoo kill."  
  
"Yeah I know, I'd rather be anywhere but school, but do you really want to face your great-grandma if you don't go."  
  
"Great-grandma scary when she no get what she want." She briefly remembered the last person who defied her great-grandmother it took a month for their hair to start to grow back. She shuddered. "Shampoo go to school but no like it."  
  
They walked past Makoto's apartment without incident. They continued to walk towards school and had gotten about two blocks farther when they heard somebody yelling from behind them.  
  
"Hey wait up!" Makoto shouted.  
  
They stopped and turned around to see Makoto barreling down on them. Her clothes were in disarray like she had just thrown them on. Her hair was sticking out all over the place and she was desperately trying to comb it out while she ran. She only had to run a bit more before she finally caught up. She didn't appear to be out of breath so they turned around and continued onto school with her walking beside Ranma. Shampoo was walking on his other side but her gloomy aura kept Makoto from going any closer.  
  
"Wow I didn't think I'd catch you. I'm not even out of breath this is great. Do you think it has anything to do with having our cheetah sides unlocked?" She felt better this morning than she had in years.  
  
"I dunno. I really don't feel any different. Then again I haven't had to try and do anything in my normal form so I can't say one way or the other." In his hybrid and cheetah forms however that was a totally different story though.  
  
"I think it's cool though. I may even try out for the track team." She could just see herself blowing everybody away with her superior speed.  
  
"Shampoo think is too too cool power up." She wished she could get a cool power up like that. It just wasn't fair.  
  
"Then why were you sleeping in my bed last night with all that weaponry?" Ranma wasn't really that mad. Honestly he wasn't.  
  
"She was sleeping in your bed!" Makoto shouted. Damn she worked fast.  
  
"Shampoo know Ranma for long time, know he never hurt Shampoo. Shampoo also see what Ranma do when in Neko ken. Shampoo want trust airen but no know if can trust cat yet. Shampoo know cat no like Shampoo." She looked dejected and absentmindedly kicked a wall causing it to collapse. "Shampoo just want be with airen."  
  
Ranma who had experienced Shampoo's unique style of door construction wasn't phased a bit by this display. He just knocked a few of the flying pieces of concrete away so they wouldn't hit Makoto. Of course Makoto didn't know anything about the breaking point training and was shocked by this casual display of destruction.  
  
Ranma continued on as if nothing had happened. "Don't worry too much I won't bite ya. I don't think it works that way. Hell if I go full cat I'm more likely to give you a tongue bath than try to eat you." He snickered a bit at this. "And you've got a lot less hair than we do when we're transformed." He remembered hacking up a hairball this morning in the bathroom. It was probably in his best interest if he didn't mention that little fact.  
  
Shampoo and Makoto blushed hard both of them imagining him doing just that. Running his long rough tongue over their...  
  
They walked the rest of the way in silence nobody willing to say anything. When they got to the school gates Makoto grabbed Shampoo's hand and started dragging her off to the office.  
  
"You go on ahead Ranma I'll take Shampoo to the office." Realistically she just wanted to avoid Ami until class started. She really didn't want to try to explain all of this until she'd had a chance to try and figure out what to say. She was working on how to realistically fit alien abduction in there.  
  
When he got to the classroom he noticed a blue haired girl, Amino or something like that. Weird she looked a bit like Akane except without the 'all males are perverts and must be castrated' look on her face. She was just sitting there reading a book not even looking up as he passed her. She was kinda cute though.  
  
He mentally slapped himself at that thought. He already had two knockouts engaged/married to him. Any more and they'd have to carry him from room to room on a stretcher when his wives are 'in the mood'. Even with his lycanthropic heritage he didn't think much of his chances for survival.  
  
She looked up at him and then went back to reading her book. Slowly other students began to trickle in and take their seats. Ranma just ignored all of them. Makoto was one of the last ones into the classroom. Well her and the other two blonds the one with the stupid meatballs on her head and the other with the large red bow. There were a couple of people who were shocked by Makoto's new hair colour, but by and large most people just ignored it as a good dye job.  
  
When the teacher came in she announced that they had another transfer student. When Shampoo stepped into the room most of the boys went wild.  
  
"Nihau, My Name is Shampoo, I is happy to be here." She put forth tons of bubbly 'I'm too cute to be real' vibes. The male population of the classroom just melted. Well most of them melted, Ranma of course was not affected and the real perverts.... well they had to go change their shorts.  
  
"Ok Shampoo take your seat over behind Ami." Shampoo bowed and walked over to the empty seat and sat down.  
  
"Alright class let's begin..."  
  
Over the next few hours various subjects were taught. Shampoo proved that she wasn't totally clueless as she was able to answer a fair number of questions regarding various subjects such as math, science, history, and geography. When it came to language the teacher recommended that she get a tutor. Ranma was not allowed to sleep as notes and letters seemed to keep hitting him just before he could nod off. Most of the notes asked him if he was single, did he have a girlfriend, who did his dye job, etc. He didn't respond to any of them, it was none of their business anyway.  
  
Finally lunch time rolled around. Most of the students decided to go outside to eat. Shampoo, Makoto, and Ranma went outside as well. When they got outside one of the blonds, the one with the stupid meatballs on her head was waiving them over.  
  
"Time to face the execution squad. Now remember no talk about were cheetahs or anything like that do you understand?" Makoto really didn't need this.  
  
"No problem. I really don't want any more people than necessary to know about this." Ranma really didn't need a fireball up the ass today as he assumed (and rightly so) that the girls they were going over to meet were her teammates.  
  
"Shampoo think they other scout. Shampoo no say anything but back up if fight."  
  
Makoto was shocked that Shampoo had figured it out so quickly but surmised that if one of them were found out it wouldn't be too hard to guess who the others were. "There won't be a fight. There are too many people. At the meeting tonight maybe but not here in the schoolyard." She at least hoped there wouldn't be a fight. They wouldn't bring up anything of a sensitive nature but stranger things have happened.  
  
When they finally made it over to where the girls were sitting the blond with the red ribbon in her hair was almost vibrating out of her seat. When they sat down she was the first one to speak.  
  
"Mako chan, don't tell me you got a boyfriend before me!" The world wasn't fair.  
  
"Ranma? Oh yeah we're going out now. Boyfriend girlfriend thing you know."  
  
All of them started talking at once. Usagi about how cute it was and how cute he was. (but not as cute as Mamoru) Minako lamenting how Makoto got a boyfriend before her. Ami didn't really say anything, just interjecting every now and then to keep the girlish talk to a minimum.  
  
"Actually he is Shampoo Airen too." Shampoo just couldn't let this go. She had to stake her claim too.  
  
As the only one who understood Chinese Ami felt that she had to clarify this a bit.  
  
"What do you mean he's your husband?" Makoto was dating a two timer adulterer?  
  
"What!!!" This was from the other girls. The other students had long since learned to ignore weird shouting etc from this group of girls so this outburst didn't even garner a first look from everybody around them.  
  
After Makoto cleared the ringing from her ears she, Shampoo, and Ranma proceeded to explain their convoluted relationship, including the arranged marriage, Amazon laws, and what they planned on doing about it. Makoto basically told them what happened last night (implying that that was the reason she couldn't respond to the scout communicator) but leaving out any mention of feline activities.  
  
The responses were mixed. Usagi was saying some junk about love conquering all, Ami questioned the legality of such an arrangement, and Minako wanted to know if he'd be willing to take on a third wife.  
  
After she'd said this everybody just stopped and stared at her. Those that knew her knew she was hard up for a boyfriend but they never knew she was this desperate. Those that didn't well Shampoo grabbed onto his arm quite quickly. Ranma just put his head in his hand and kept muttering something about 'not again.'  
  
"What? If he's got enough for two girls why not one more?" Seemed perfectly logical.  
  
"You actually want to be in a polygamous relationship?" Ami was wondering just how desperate Minako was.  
  
"Well it's with Makoto, and she's my friend, I really don't mind sharing."  
  
"You're nuts! I've got to share him with Shampoo and now you want to join too? No way go get your own boyfriend." She grabbed onto Ranma's other arm and let out a low growl. If anybody was listening it would not have sounded like anything human vocal cords were capable of producing. Fortunately only Ranma heard her.  
  
"But Makoto love conquers all."  
  
"Then she can share Mamoru."  
  
"No not my Mamo chan!"  
  
"My point exactly."  
  
"Oh well it was worth a try." Mentally Minako was snapping her fingers.  
  
"So we're meeting at Rei's tonight?" Makoto really really didn't want to do this, but unless they wanted to play dodge the fireball they had better get this one secret out into the open.  
  
"Yeah usual time too." Ami still had a lot of ass chewing to do. She had thought up a really great speech and didn't want to waste it.  
  
Just then the bell rang signifying that lunch was over. They all filed back into class.  
  
The rest of the day passed pretty much without incident. Other than more notes and Shampoo proving that she could speak English better than she could speak Japanese, nothing much happened.  
  
When classes finally let out Makoto, Shampoo and Ranma left together. Ranma and Shampoo changed into their street clothes so that their uniforms wouldn't get damaged if there was a fight. Since Makoto was in such a rush this morning she didn't have anything to change into. Ranma led them to an abandoned lot a short distance from his house. The lot had a high wall surrounding it, although several sections of it were damaged and never repaired from the various senshi battles over the years. The grass hadn't been mowed in quite some time and it had quite a few weeds in it. When they got to the center of the lot Ranma shifted into his hybrid form. He motioned for Makoto to do the same.  
  
"Alrrrright I'm going to teach you the Saotome Final attack. This may seem stupid and a waste of time, but trrrrust me it's not. Alright now get into this stance." He demonstrated by getting into a stance. Makoto copied him. Shampoo who'd seen this move before just watched from the sidelines.  
  
"Ok now this move is based on speed, skill and evasion."  
  
"When do we use this move?" To use a new move successfully you must know the situation it was invented for.  
  
"This is prrretty much a last ditch move when you've tried everything and nothing worrrrks."  
  
"Alright now what?" She asked.  
  
"Alright watch as I perrrrrform the move firrrrst then see if you can copy me ok?"  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Alrrright." He crouched down a bit further. "Rrready, set.... Rrrun away!" And run away he did. He ran towards the wall but stopped before he could cross it. Makoto facefaulted.  
  
"That was the stupidest move I've ever seen!" This was a famous final attack?  
  
"Is very good move. Shampoo think stupid at first too but great- grandmother explain that staying to fight when no hope of winning is stupider."  
  
"It's all about knowing when to fight and when not to fight. If you know you can't win a fight the Final attack is about getting enough distance between you and your attacker until you can figure out something else to do."  
  
"So basically if the meeting tonight goes to hell we run away?"  
  
"Prrretty much. I rrreally don't know how much magic can hurt us but I'd rather not take a chance."  
  
"But they'll chase us. When we're transformed as sailor scouts we're much faster than a normal human."  
  
"Makoto you do rrremember that we're werrre cheetahs. I took a little jog last night on my way home and there's no way anything short of a speeding carrr could catch us and I wasn't even going full out."  
  
"If you..." She was so rudely cut off by a cry of  
  
"World Shaking!"  
  
It was only due to their superior reflexes that they were able to dodge the blast. The ground where they were standing was torn up and yet another senshi made hole was punched into the wall. When they looked over to where the blast originated from they saw that Neptune and Saturn had accompanied Uranus.  
  
"Final attack!" Ranma shouted before grabbing Shampoo and Makoto and taking off at top speed away from the outer scouts. Incidentally running over Uranus and in the process shoving her head into the ground.  
  
"Damn they got away!" Haruka screamed as she pulled her head out of the ground. She was furious the monsters got away.  
  
"Don't worry too much we'll find them eventually. We're late for the meeting." Mirachu gently chided her mate.  
  
Hotaru was busy healing the minor scratches that Haruka got when Ranma trampled her.  
  
"When I find them again... Ohh I'll thrash them with my bare fists!"  
  
The outers left the lot and detransformed in an alley nearby. They got into Haruka's car and careened uncontrollably... I mean drove safely and within the limits of the law towards Rei's temple.  
  
Ranma ducked into an alley and changed back. Makoto followed suit soon after while Shampoo stood guard at the entryway to the alley.  
  
"Well looks like we lost them."  
  
"Wow so that's how fast we can run?" Makoto was wanting to try that for herself. He almost ran all the way to Rei's temple in only a few seconds.  
  
"Nah I was holding back a lot. Also I had to carry you two remember?"  
  
"Sorry about that. Uranus is usually trigger happy. I just never thought that they'd find us this quickly."  
  
"I'm used to people out to kill me. Story of my life actually, one more isn't too big of a deal."  
  
Makoto looked around to get her bearings. "We're almost at Rei's temple, we should be able to just walk there." She looked at Shampoo. "Shampoo if you could stay out of sight, I'd appreciate the backup but I don't know how much help you could be." Especially when they started throwing around magic that could easily level a city block. There's no way a normal human could possibly be capable of that much damage. (Makoto seems to have conveniently forgotten Shampoo's little display this morning)  
  
"Shampoo best fighter in village, can fight really good." She pulled out her bonbori for emphasis.  
  
"They are still my friends so please don't hurt them." Still everybody can get lucky sometimes and as much as she wanted to let Shampoo pound Haruka into a fine mush for the world shaking she knew that Usagi would throw one of her hissy fits. Honestly she just didn't want to hear the whining.  
  
"Shampoo promise no hurt friends."  
  
"Ok then. Ranma could you wait just outside the door please. Umm we've got a couple of cats so I don't really want you to freak out and you can't go around in hybrid form until we explain this."  
  
"Ccc cats. Umm sure I'll guard the door then aheh." Why oh why did it have to be cats.  
  
Makoto nodded and started up the stairs to the Hiakawa shrine. She led them around to the fire room where they usually held their meetings. When she looked back Shampoo was gone. She looked all around for her but couldn't see any trace of her. Ranma pointed off to the side towards a copse of trees. She squinted as hard as she could but still couldn't catch a glimpse of Shampoo's hiding place.  
  
"She's there trust me." All that hiding in preparation to kill him had really increased her hiding skills.  
  
Makoto nodded and opened the door. Ranma stood off to the side. She entered and closed the door behind her leaving it open just a bit so that Ranma could hear her if she got into trouble.  
  
Amazingly enough she was the last one to arrive. Usagi and Rei were fighting over one of Rei's manga that Usagi wanted to read. Luna was busy scolding her charge, something about that's not the way a princess should be acting. Her fur was looking a little more ruffled than normal. Ami was typing away on her computer looking at something. Makoto hoped that she wasn't scanning for eavesdroppers or no matter how good Ranma and Shampoo were at hiding they'd be caught. Minako was holding Artemis in her lap and softly petting him. If she didn't know any better she would have thought that he was just a normal cat, who like most cats, was an attention whore. Chibi Usa was scarfing down cookies that Rei had put out proving once again that she was her mother's daughter.  
  
Ami was the first to notice her. Contrary to what Makoto was thinking Ami wasn't scanning for intruders she was going over her speech.  
  
"Well this is new. You're late Makoto." Ami was just getting warmed up.  
  
"Did you bring any of your muffins?" Usagi of course was thinking with her stomach again. If one didn't know better they'd assume she was Ranma's long lost twin sister.  
  
"Ahh no. I didn't bring any today. I kinda had a lot on my mind." Makoto was sweating now. These were her friends and she had the unfortunate knowledge of just how they react to strange or unusual circumstances. Shoot first, keep shooting, hope it dies, figure out if it was friendly at the last moment then hopefully turn things around.  
  
She decided that the best thing to do for now would be to sit down. Hopefully she'd be able to roll out of the way of any magic that they decided to throw at her. When she'd finished smoothing out her skirt she'd found that Artemis had wandered over to where she was. He sniffed her a couple of times before saying.  
  
"Do you mind if I sit in your lap tonight?" Makoto always gave the best ear scratches. Minako would pet him but never scratch behind his ears unless he told her to.  
  
"Ahh I guess not." Makoto was a little nervous. If what she thought was going to happen happened Artemis would be in the line of fire.  
  
Artemis hopped into her lap. She immediately started petting him remembering to go from the top of his head all the way to the base of his tail. She scratched behind his ears just like she knew he liked. He started purring just like a normal cat. She briefly wondered what it felt like to be petted. She'd have to get Ranma or Shampoo to try petting her when she was in full cheetah form. She looked up to find Minako glaring at her. Artemis was supposed to only go to her to be petted. Makoto shrugged her shoulders and mouthed the words 'just this once.'  
  
Before she could do anything else Ami decided that now would be the best time to start.  
  
"Makoto last night we called you because a youma was attacking innocent people." She had to add the innocent part just to make Makoto feel guilty. "However you never showed up and you never even answered your communicator even just to tell us that you couldn't make it." Artemis was starting to rock his hips in concert with her petting. "What would have happened if you didn't show up? What if it had magic resistance? None of us can fight as well as you can. What would you have done if it killed one of us?" Artemis was really going now. Minako had noticed it and was looking at him strangely. "Your irresponsible actions could have gotten us all killed. You are a sailor scout and as such you have a responsibility to the team." About this time Rei noticed what Artemis was doing and got up to get a hose. "If you're going to ignore all of your responsibilities to your friends and go gallivanting around with your fiance then maybe you've got your priorities wrong." Usagi had noticed what Artemis was doing now because he was getting quite vocal about it. Luna was just turning her head towards the sound. "So the next time this happens we may just think about getting somebody more..." She was cut off by Artemis finally letting loose.  
  
"Oh Mako Chan!" Oh that was some good petting.  
  
"Eeeeew kitty sperm!" And this was her last school uniform too!  
  
"Artemis you pervert!" Minako was horrified. She knew that he often went out to nail a couple of the strays around her place. He was a tom cat and that's what she thought all tom's did. This was totally different, he'd never tried to screw a human before.  
  
"Artemis you flea bitten, no good excuse for a cat. HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME!" Luna was furious, just because she didn't like him, and they weren't exactly going out didn't give him the right to go humping Makoto's leg like some kind of dog. She pounced and managed to tackle him off of her lap. They fought for a while eventually spilling out into one of the side rooms.  
  
"Well that was certainly different." Usagi was thanking her lucky stars that she had gotten a female cat. Bestiality just wasn't her thing. Running her mind through the gutter made her give Minako a strange look. After all Artemis had to learn that from somewhere.  
  
Makoto was busy trying to clean her skirt. She eventually gave up and decided that this was as good a time as any. Hopefully they were off guard long enough that she would be able to escape if they decided that she was a fake and needed to be toasted.  
  
"Umm well there was something else that happened last night. I really don't know how else to do this so I'm just going to show you and then try to explain." She paused to let this sink in. "Please don't hate me."  
  
Grasping the transformation she changed into her hybrid form. Last night she got the idea to sew some Velcro into her uniform so that only the Velcro would come apart and the clothes wouldn't be destroyed. She started to grow up and out and her ears shifted to the top of her head. The Velcro did it's job and prevented any new rips from forming. The last thing that happened was yellow fur with black spots sprouted all over her body. The change seemed to take forever to her but in reality only took about 30 seconds. She saw her friends eyes widening in terror and it broke her heart.  
  
"I am Makoto Kino and I am a were cheetah."  
  
Fate didn't really mind being poked with a stick. No really it didn't. The fact that it decided now would be the best time for Rei the most hot headed of the Senshi to come back with the hose and see a monster in Makoto's clothes. She immediately jumped to the most logical conclusion.  
  
"Monster! Mars planet power Make up!"  
  
Fate decided that poking her with a stick might be fun for a while decided that this was a most excellent time for the outers to show up.  
  
"So that's where you went monster! I'm going to kill you and make a rug out of your hide!" Haruka wasn't really mad it's just how she normally was.  
  
Her cry had the effect of galvanizing the other scouts to action. Several transformation phrases and flashy light shows ensued.  
  
Deciding that now would be a great time to use the Saotome final attack she prepared to run. Before she could move more than a foot something tingled in the back of her head and she dodged to the side just in time to avoid the ice shards that Mercury had thrown at her. Then she dodged out of the firebird's path, and finally hopped over the love me chain.  
  
She barreled through the door incidentally shoving Haruka's head through the wall and took off running at top speed. The tears in her eyes, added to her muddled thoughts. She didn't care where she was going just as long as she was able to get away. She knew that things were going to go bad but to actually have all of her friends turn on her hurt a lot more than she thought it would.  
  
Back at the temple Ranma was slightly stunned. He had been listening at the door and had heard pretty much everything. However when Makoto went through the door she had knocked him across the yard. He'd been hit a lot harder by Ryoga so he wasn't really hurt. Even now the bruise was visibly healing. He got up and dusted off the sawdust on his clothes. He looked up to see a couple of the sailor girls coming out of the now broken door. They weren't a concern to him right now he had to catch Makoto.  
  
Quickly shifting to his hybrid form he took off at the fastest he dared to go inside a city trying to keep up with his fast moving fiancée.  
  
At the temple Minako was the first out the door. She saw Ranma shift to his hybrid form and take off in the direction that she thought she saw the monster run off to. Damn why do all of the hunky guys have to be monsters or bad guys. She could throw off another love me chain but if that monster that had been impersonating Makoto could dodge it her chances of catching him would be pretty slim.  
  
She decided to detransform along with the rest of them. Rei was ranting about monsters and how the hell she was going to explain to grandpa about the door. Everybody was looking at Ami with expectant looks. When something strange happened they usually looked to her for answers.  
  
"I haven't got a clue my computer wasn't scanning when she changed. I don't know if it was really Makoto or not." Ami was confused. She didn't like not knowing something, and not knowing if her friend was a monster or not was currently driving her crazy. She quickly brought up the scanning program to see if she could find any trace of them.  
  
"I still say we kill them and figure it out later." Haruka said just before she winced. Mirachu was busy pulling splinters out of Haruka's face and Hotaru was healing the damage.  
  
"I really think that would be a bad idea." Setsuna said before taking a sip of her tea.  
  
"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Screamed Usagi. It wasn't a matter of what Setsuna said or how she said it. It was more a matter of where she said it from. About a foot behind her and to the right. She was wearing a grey striped business suit and sneakers. Her hair which was normally kept loose was done up in a loose ponytail. She had a green tea cup in her hand which was a match for the green teapot that was now on the table.  
  
Ami quickly did a few chest compressions to get her friends heart going again. She glared at Setsuna.  
  
"Don't ever do that again that is a DIRECT ORDER!" Usagi was so scared that she didn't even notice that she'd slipped into princess mode until Setsuna nodded her head.  
  
"As you wish princess I'll just scare the others then." Damn and it was so fun scaring her because she jumped so high.  
  
"And why can't we kill it! It obviously knows who we are now and we're all in danger." Damn those splinters hurt.  
  
"Not really. Killing Makoto will solve nothing. Don't worry you just hurt her feelings that's all, she'll get over it eventually." She took a sip of her tea already predicting their response.  
  
"But that wasn't Makoto, her hair is brown and she doesn't turn into a cat monster!" Usagi was just starting to snap out of it and boy was she scared.  
  
"Usagi it really wasn't her fault that she was born a were cheetah." She really regretted not teaching them that not everything that wasn't human was evil. Oh well a crash course in it wouldn't be too bad.  
  
"What do you mean was born a were cheetah? Why did she wait till now to tell us. Just who's fault is this!" The normally soft spoken Ami was really acting out of character.  
  
Setsuna took another sip of her tea. There was a noise off in the storage room but she ignored it.  
  
"Well to answer your questions I guess I'll have to take them one at a time. Her parents were both were cheetahs so naturally Makoto was born a were cheetah. As for why she hasn't told you until now, well when she was five or so her parents gave her a magical potion to lock her into her human form." She paused to refill her tea cup. There was some more bumping coming from the storeroom. "Last night she was introduced to her fiance, you already knew that of course. What she didn't tell you is that her lycanthropic nature was unlocked as well, that's why she didn't come when you guys called her last night." The bumping got louder and there was some squeaking with it. "As for why she was telling you now, my guess is that she didn't want her friends to try and kill her." She smiled. "I wonder where she got that idea from?"  
  
Everybody that was listening was stunned. What they had done was just now hitting them. Rei winced as she remembered throwing a fire soul bird at her friend with intent to kill.  
  
"What about the third question?" Ami was trying to figure out who was to blame for this.  
  
"Oh the 'who is to blame for all of this?' question? Why Ami chan you are of course." She snickered internally while keeping a stoic straight face.  
  
"What! How can this be my fault?!"  
  
"Back in the silver millennium the sailor scout of Mercury was bored one day so she decided to create the lycanthropic races for something to do. Queen Serenity was furious that Mercury would be so callous as to make an intelligent species." She paused as if remembering something that happened before their ancestors were out of diapers. "In the end though the newly created lycanthropes proved to be a great boon to the kingdom. Their strength was equal to or greater than most magically enhanced humans. They were great guards, soldiers, spies, etc. They were well liked within the kingdom. Of course with all peoples there were some bad apples." She took a sip of her tea. "In the final battle with Beryl the werewolves and the were rats were on the other side." She paused to remember the look on Mercury's face when she first saw her creations turning on her. "Well to make a long story short some lycanthropes survived and have been living here on earth ever since."  
  
"But if..." Ami started to say but was cut off by what sounded like a cat yowling the theme to star trek... horribly off key.  
  
"You know I would have thought Luna had a much nicer singing voice." Setsuna idly commented.  
  
Minako and Usagi immediately picked up on this and got up to retrieve their just copulated felines. Rei jumped to her feet to go get a broom to swat them with as she would be the one stuck cleaning up the mess.  
  
"Bad Artemis! Twice in one day no less. You're grounded mister, no more pussy for you." Minako could be heard shouting in the back room.  
  
"Luna you... I thought you hated him... you're a slut! Wait a minute does this mean that I can sleep with Mamorou now?" Usagi had had a long talk with Luna before about taking her relationship with Mamorou to the next level. Luna had basically said to do as she did.  
  
"Just do as I say not as I do." Luna was hanging her head. She had just rutted like a common alley cat and with Artemis of all cats! Damn she felt like she needed a shower, preferably in carbonic acid.  
  
Back in the main room Setsuna was still trying to convince Haruka that killing Makoto would be a bad thing.  
  
"But she's a monster."  
  
"She's still a sailor scout. If you kill her Usagi would be mad."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Haruka papa just let it go. I think it's kinda neat that she's a were cheetah." Hotaru was wondering how she could get Makoto to bite her so she could be a were cheetah too.  
  
Usagi, Minako, Rei and the cats came back into the room. Luna was trudging along with her head bowed almost to the ground. Rei had a scowl on her face, nothing unusual there. Minako was doing a good Rei impersonation. Strangely enough Usagi and Artemis had the exact same stupid grins on their faces. Of course Artemis looked a little worse for wear.  
  
"Looks like somebody just got laid. Way to go Artemis!"  
  
Everyone stopped and stared at Chibi Usa.  
  
"What? Oh come on at least he manages to get her in tune in the future." Luna's 'singing' during sex was famous throughout the palace in the future. It was a good thing their kittens decided to stay home. It was bad enough when her parents were going at it. It was a good thing aunty Ami explained the birds and the bees to her after she'd walked in on her own parents. Although what a riding crop, whipped cream and an inflatable sheep had to do with procreation even she didn't know.  
  
Luna and Artemis blushed nuclear red at this.  
  
"Well my time here is almost up, I should be getting back to work."  
  
Of course Ami was the only one still coherent enough to think straight spoke up.  
  
"What can you tell us about this new enemy?" Not that she expected any logical or straightforward answers from Pluto but she'd been pretty open about Makoto so she had to try her luck.  
  
She put her index finger to her chin and started to hmm and haw for a while. Finally she spoke up.  
  
"Well some of them have damage resistance and others have magic resistance, other than that I can't tell you anything more."  
  
"But that doesn't tell us anything more than we already know." This coming from Rei who if Setsuna started saying 'That's a secret' she would ram the time key in a very unanatomically correct way up her stuffy ass. Hopefully she'd hit the stick that was lodged up in there.  
  
"Hmm well don't kill Makoto that would be bad." She got up to leave but paused. "Oh yes two more things." She turned towards Haruka, Mirachu and Hotaru. "Haruka you aren't infected, don't worry you won't be getting any harrier any time soon. Hotaru don't you even think about getting Ranma or Makoto to bite you." Hotaru had the decency to at least blush.  
  
"Now before I go..." She snapped her fingers and five grey boxes of various shapes and sizes materialized with the symbols for Mercury, Venus, Moon, Mars, and Neptune on them. "These weapons have minor enchantments on them to increase their durability. They should help with the monsters that have magic resistance." When everybody crowded around the boxes she made her getaway.  
  
When she got back to the time gate she rewound time to the exact moment she left. She focused on the fire room. Turning up the volume she waited for...  
  
"I"VE BEEN GYPED!" Screamed Usagi.  
  
Setsuna chucked a bit and then tuned in on the beginning of the Ranma Makoto chase. She pulled up her lazy chair and a bucket of popcorn and sat back to watch the show. This job had it's perks after all.  
  
As soon as Makoto was through the door Ranma had started to chase her. Unfortunately for him it took a few seconds to change into his hybrid form so that he would stand a chance of keeping up. During that time she had gotten a huge lead and was still accelerating.  
  
Even though she couldn't access her senshi powers in her hybrid form some of the magic that made her sailor Jupiter managed to leak through and increase her speed and endurance by just a touch.  
  
Ranma wasn't the premier martial artist of his generation for nothing however. He'd learned long ago how to channel his ki to help increase his speed and strength. So here they were racing through the streets of Tokyo at well over 200 KM/h dodging people, cars, trains and buildings. To Ranma it was a rush he wasn't even going at top speed yet but he didn't dare go any faster lest he miss one of his dodges. Already he'd almost hit four drug dealers, two cars, and a gay parade. He had no idea how Makoto was missing this stuff especially with her eyes full of tears and all. Damned weepy girls and their stupid feelings. He just hoped that this was her top speed, he didn't want to try and find out what his maximum was either. Well that and even with increased toughness and speed healing, he really didn't feel like picking stones out of his ass if he wiped out at this speed.  
  
Makoto led him on a merry chase all the way to the outskirts of the city. When he was sure that the collision chances were dropping off he started to accelerate to try and catch her. To his great surprise and horror she was speeding up too. He poured on the speed to try and catch her but encountered a lot of resistance and couldn't go any faster. It was like the air itself was acting like water keeping him from going any faster. No matter how much power he put into it he couldn't seem to increase his speed. It looked like Makoto was also hampered by this. Good now he stood a chance of catching up.  
  
As they passed the bullet train from Tokyo to Kyoto he finally got a good idea of how fast they were going, and it was @#$@ fast. He noticed that Makoto was no longer crying and was now just running, apparently enjoying the sensation of pseudo flight that these great speeds afforded to them.  
  
He'd enjoy this experience a hell of a lot more if he wasn't chasing her stupid ass all over Japan.  
  
He decided that he'd try throwing something at her to get her attention.  
  
After the first three rocks flew out, encountered wind resistance and flew back and nailed him in the head he decided that maybe he should just try and catch her.  
  
About halfway to Kyoto he managed to tap her once on her shoulder. She quickly glanced over her shoulder and saw him running there. She gave a little smile and started pouring on the speed. Where she got the energy he had no idea, it wasn't like he was tired yet but he wouldn't mind stopping. Infinite senshi magic versus a huge ki supply. Ki runs out, magic does not. Ranma decided that he had to end this quickly. Engaging the neko ken he used his ki claws to slash the heavy air in front of him. The resulting sonic boom and speed increase almost sent him ass over teakettle. He zipped past Makoto briefly catching her in his wake and then had to immediately cut his speed so that he wouldn't get too far in front of her.  
  
Makoto decided that this was a good time to stop headed over to a clump of trees. She finally stopped in a wooded glen it was surrounded by trees so it afforded a lot of privacy. Both she and Ranma were panting heavily gulping in huge breaths of air, they were quite winded from their long run. It took over two minutes before Makoto finally got back enough breath to speak.  
  
"Wow you're fast! How'd you do that?"  
  
"Do what?" He was confused. She was the one that was fast.  
  
"You broke the sound barrier! I couldn't get up enough speed to do that!" Not for lack of trying though. After she'd gotten over the fact that her friends had just tried to kill her she'd noticed how fast she was going and tried to see what her maximum was. She felt herself pushing up against the super compressed air that was the sound barrier but no matter how hard she pushed she couldn't seem to break through and go supersonic.  
  
"So that's what that was." Ranma said while stroking his chin. "Wow."  
  
"Yeah wow. You're going to have to show me how you did that." The other girls would be soooo jealous if she told them she could run faster than sound... oh wait that's right they were trying to kill her.... crap.  
  
"Well I don't know if I can teach it to you. I just kinda grabbed the neko ken and slashed the heavy air and then boom." He'd rather not try that again until he got some more control, wiping out at that speed had got to hurt. That and creating sonic booms at ground level probably wasn't the most eco friendly thing that he could do.  
  
Just then Ranma realized that he was all alone in a secluded clearing with Makoto and nobody around for kilometers. Normally when this happened Ryoga or somebody would come around to break things up or ruin the mood. Yeah Ryoga should be around any time now. Any time like right about now.  
  
Speaking of Ryoga, he was currently lost in Vancouver. Of course he thought he was somewhere in Tokyo. Oh well same difference. He's still not important to the story.  
  
Back in the clearing Ranma was getting nervous. Here he was all alone with one of his (admittantly newer) fiancées and there was nobody to break them up if something should happen. He was starting to sweat profusely his eyes nervously darting left and right. He had to think of something quick.  
  
"Umm do you know where we are?"  
  
Saved.  
  
"Well no not really. I was kinda focused on chasing you and I didn't really pay attention to where we were. Uhh do you want to look around for a bit so see if we can find where we are?"  
  
Makoto looked up to the sky where it was getting fairly dark, although it didn't seem as dark as it should have been. She'd have experiment with her night vision later though.  
  
"I don't think we should. I'd hate to trip and fall at the speeds we'd be running at." Road rash at mach 1. She didn't know if she'd be able to survive that but it was probably best not to try.  
  
"So what do you suggest then?" He had a good idea what she was going to suggest and he didn't like it one bit.  
  
"Well we could stay here tonight and go home tomorrow."  
  
"Uhh yeah that'd be a good idea I guess." Just his luck no water in sight.  
  
"So I guess we should get closer, you know to like share body heat or something." Makoto had just realized what she'd just said. She started blushing not that Ranma would notice especially in the low light and through her fur.  
  
"Well what if you change into a cheetah, You're smaller that way and wouldn't give off so much heat." And that way nothing could happen.  
  
"Good idea." She looked at him like he was supposed to do something.  
  
"What?" He wanted to know why she was looking at him.  
  
"Turn around." Was he really that dense?  
  
"Why?" Why couldn't girls just tell him these things instead of making him guess.  
  
"I've got to take off my clothes so that I don't rip them when I change. I know we're engaged but I don't want you to see me naked yet. Now turn around!" Although seeing him naked wouldn't be such a bad thing.  
  
Ranma 'Eep'd' and spun around so quickly he left miniature dust devils in his wake. She giggled at his shyness. She stripped and folded her clothes up so they wouldn't get wrinkled and then quickly shifted to her cheetah form before she could chew on any more of her foot.  
  
Ranma hesitantly turned around when she nuzzled his arm. He laid down on the ground and shuffled over a bit but stopped just before touching her. Makoto would have none of this and pressed herself into his front. Taking the not so subtle hint he draped his arm over her and pulled her close. As long as he kept thinking of it as sleeping with a pet and not his fiancée he was just fine.  
  
Makoto felt really comfortable sleeping this way. She had her legs tucked underneath her so she really didn't feel the ground and Ranma's much larger form enveloping her made her feel warm and protected. She could really get used to this.  
  
'Maybe this engagement wouldn't be so bad after all.'  
  
Not long after she thought this she fell to Morpheos' embrace.  
  
Back at the shrine Shampoo had witnessed everything and was still trying to figure out what to do about it. She'd seen Makoto and Ranma run off and she knew there was no hope in hell of catching them, so now she had to decide what to do.  
  
Long after the last of the girls left Shampoo was still watching. She'd made it a point to memorize the faces of the girls and which skirt colours they matched up to. She wasn't sure if they were her enemies yet or not but trying to kill her Airen's had pushed them towards the 'Shampoo kill' side of things. She was just contemplating going home when a presence and a slight rustling to her left caught her attention.  
  
Spinning as fast as he dared on the branch she was on she came face to crotch with a sailor scout. She was older looking than all of the other girls she'd seen, but she was still wearing the same type of outfit she remembered Makoto wearing when she changed into sailor Jupiter except the colours were different. The only noticeable features she had were her long green hair and her red eyes. Shampoo was almost certain that she'd be able to pick her out of a crowd since outside of the Amazon village that hair colour/eye colour was not normally found in Japan.  
  
Then she spoke in perfectly fluent Mandarin. "Don't fear, I am not your enemy nor do I wish to become your enemy. I have done my best to smooth over the rift that was created tonight but there will still be some mistrust for a while I'm afraid. It is my hope that you will be able to help fix things. What I'd like to offer you is a way to join your husband and co wife in fighting this new threat." She then made a hand motion and a pen shaped stick appeared in her hand. "This will allow you to fight alongside your chosen's without revealing your identity."  
  
Shampoo took the pen and looked at it. It was about 10 cm long with a gold stylized number 4 with an irregularly shaped circle around it on top. The shaft was purple with neon green swirls traced through it. Finally there was a yellow post it note with the activation phrase stuck to the handle.  
  
"Shampoo thank honored senshi for gift but Shampoo have one question."  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Shampoo want know if you know so much why you no stop when senshi try kill Shampoo wife?" Ok so that didn't come out as well as she wanted it to but she still was forbidden from speaking Chinese while she was here.  
  
Setsuna sweat dropped and scratched the back of her head. "Umm actually I was planning to but I was kind of late." Damned traffic jam.  
  
"Well now it's getting late and I think you should be getting home. Don't worry Ranma managed to catch Makoto and calm her down. They're out near Kyoto and should be back tomorrow."  
  
Shampoo turned briefly to look at a noise she heard over by the shrine. When she turned back Pluto was gone. She tossed the pen in with her Bonbori and jumped out of the tree and started off towards her home. She vowed that tomorrow night Ranma would have a purple haired bed warmer.  
  
Damn it she wanted to be first.  
  
At the swirling mists of the time gate Setsuna dropped herself bonelessly into her lazy ass chair. In reality she hadn't been late, it was all a well crafted scheme to get Makoto and Ranma closer together, while pulling a guilt trip on the rest of the senshi so they wouldn't go and off any were cats. Killing your allies was usually a bad thing.  
  
She twirled another henshin rod between her fingers. Back during the days of the silver millennium the mages attempted to duplicate the senshi's transformations using the moons of the larger worlds as power focuses. Sufficed to say the results were less than stellar.  
  
Leaning back she pressed a button on the chair and was immediately treated to a full body massage.  
  
As Setsuna was slowly falling asleep she thought of what was going to happen tomorrow and reminded herself to bring her camera.  
  
Authors notes:  
  
New and improved with details and hopefully better scene transitions. I'll get out a good chapter yet!  
  
Many thanks to Cory D Rose and Rajon Rucker for prereading and helping to fix me's horreeble anglish  
  
please send all comments and critisism to  
  
nealharris@otakumail.com  
  
If you're going to send criticism don't just say 'it sucks' tell me why it sucks and I'll try to fix it.  
  
Ranma even with his powerup is still not all powerfull. It was just to allow him to keep up with the Senshi.  
  
Speaking of Senshi yes Shampoo is now a sailor scout but well.... Defective Senshi. Oh the fun one can have with magic that goes wrong.  
  
I'm writing as fast as I can however I can only write in between calls and if the call volume is too high I may only get a page done a day at best. Next up is cat's tail. I may go back through my previous chapters and add details and fix the scene transitions. If I do this the new chapters will be a while in coming. Quality over quantity I guess. 


	4. chapter 4

Di s claim er- We don't own this. We don't claim to own this, not ours.  
  
Now on with the show.  
  
Chapter 4: Nice to meet you again.  
  
The next morning dawned bright and early, the sky was clear and it was looking to be a great day. The birds were singing in the trees and the dew on the grass looked like diamonds hanging off of jade rods. For our two lost kitties it would be the start of a wonderful day.   
  
Ranma was the first to stir. The first thing he noticed was that he was a she. Durring the night the condensation must have been enough to trigger the change. She was smaller in some places, and larger in two others. She gave a sigh which caused her shirt to rip just a bit more. She winced at this. Her mother was going to kill her. She wondered how Makoto's clothes survived the transformation. Wait a minute... Makoto. Ranma held her breath as she felt something snuggle against her front. She gulped and looked down right into the sleeping face of her fiancee. Granted Makoto was still a cheetah at the time but Ranma wasn't used to sleeping this closely with anybody. She jumped up and dashed over to the edge of the clearing.  
  
Makoto was rudely awakened when her heat source suddenly disappeared. She blinked a few times trying to get her berrings. She appeared to be in a wooded clearing. Racking her muddled brain for any information she managed to remember running away from her homicidal friends, Ranma chasing her, and finally going to sleep curled up to his rock hard chest. She shook her head to clear it and got up and stretched activating her transformation as she did so. As her body stretched and shifted back to her hybrid form. She was in the middle of her stretch when she was disturbed by a noise off to the side. She turned to see Ranma in female hybrid form staring at her. A small trickle of blood was leaking from her nose.  
  
That was the time that a small gust of wind rustled the fur on her breast. It was then that her sleep fogged brain finally grinded in to gear.   
  
"You pervert! I hope you like what your seeing!" She yelled while bringing her arms down to cover herself.  
  
Ranma gave off a strangled squeek and spun around. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."  
  
Makoto huffed and went to put on her clothes. When she was properly dressed she turned back to where Ranma was cowering like he expected something or someone to hit him. Makoto was a little disturbed by this. What had happened to him?  
  
"Ranma?" She asked hesitantly. "You can turn around now I'm not going to hit you."  
  
"You're not? But everytime I've seen a girl naked they've hit me. Akane sure hit me enough times." He rubbed his head as if trying to soothe an imaginary mallet strike.  
  
Makoto looked down. "Who was this Akane. You mentioned her before but I guess there was so much else happening that I never thought to ask about her." She leaned forward and put her hands on her hips. She had to rebalance herself quickly so that she wouldn't fall face first into the grass. "So who was this girl that let you sleep in her lap?"  
  
Ranma started sweating, he really didn't want to bring up Akane... ever.  
  
"Well. I'm waiting." Ok so he was nervous. It couldn't be the Neko ken since he was in his hybrid form right now so it had to be Akane. "I could just ask Aunty or maybe even Shampoo you know."  
  
"Alright, Alright I'll tell you. It all started about a year ago when the old man and I first came to Nerima..." He then proceeded to tell her about all of the fiancee's and crazy's after his hide and a brief overview of the story so far. Sufficed to say after he was finished Makoto was stunned. If she hadn't sat down at the beginning she would have facefaulted so hard that her whole head would have been burried in the ground.  
  
"You've got to be kidding me. She hit you just for that!" Makoto couldn't believe that she would hit him just for hanging out with his (apparently only) friend.  
  
"Yeah sometimes she just hit me when she thought I did something." He remembered all the times she would hit him just for the hell of it.  
  
Makoto thought about this for a bit and then came to a conclusion.  
  
"You know you never did answer my question."  
  
"Uhh what question was that again?" He couldn't remember her asking him anything except for... Oh hell.  
  
"Did you like the view? You know when I was naked." She blushed so hard that he actually could make it out through her fur.  
  
"Umm well...." He started to say.   
  
"If you know what's good for you you'll say yes."  
  
"Yes oh yes." This was different. She was smiling. Did that mean that she like him seeing her naked or did she like that he liked seeing her naked. He was sooo confused. It was easier when they just hit him.  
  
Makoto felt a lot better and she had no idea why. Sure hearing Ranma say that he liked to see her naked made her feel good. Usually when a guy propositioned her she kicked the crap out of him. However when Ranma said that she felt different, proud of her body. It was like his opinion of her mattered... but that was supposed to only happen with those you cared about.   
  
"Don't tell me I've fallen for the idiot already." She mumbled under her breath.  
  
Unfortunately she forgot that with the transformation came improved hearing. Ranma was currently blushing to her roots. Not that Makoto could see this of course. She just had to needle him a bit.  
  
"Well since you saw me naked let's see you strip." She'd meant it as a joke of course. She never expected him to actually ....  
  
Strip totally buck naked and stand infront of her.   
  
"Don't you have any feminine modesty?" She was flaberghasted that he would just strip like that. She wondered if she'd do it when she was a he.  
  
"Uhh no I'm a guy remember, besides we've got the same parts right now so it's all right... right?"   
  
Makoto was thinking about that when the sun rose over the top of the trees and bathed her in it's warm glow. She marvled at how the warm sun felt on her fur. She just wanted to curl up and go back to sleep letting it's golden radience lull her into a deep slumber.  
  
Wait a minute if the sun was that high then...   
  
"Fuck we're late for school!" Makoto shouted before tearing out of the clearing leaving Ranma to put on her clothes.  
  
"Wonder how long it's going to take her to remember that we're lost." Ranma said to herself as she carefully put on her clothes trying not to rip it further.  
  
About 2 minutes later Makoto came back into the clearing to see Ranma fully (if indecently) dressed with her arms crossed underneath her breasts. Her tail was lashing back and forth.  
  
"Took you long enough to remember we're still lost."  
  
"Why the hell didn't you stop me or tell me or something!" Ok so he was a jerk.  
  
"Well you just ran out of here while I was still naked. Now running around as a were cheetah is bad, running around as a naked female were cheetah is a lot worse." Ranma said like Makoto should already have thought of that.  
  
"Alright so how do we get back?"  
  
"Easy." Ranma said as she stretched out a bit. "We just follow the tracks back to Tokyo."  
  
Makoto slapped her forehead. The answer was right infront of her. She wondered how long it was going to take them to get back.  
  
Ranma slapped Makoto on her shoulder.  
  
"Tag you're it! Race you back." She yelled while running out of the clearing.  
  
Makoto smiled and chased after him laughing as well.  
  
As soon as she exited the trees she saw Ranma running alongside the tracks. She wondered if they were going to race the train again. She looked up to see Ranma starting to pull away as she accelerated. She poured on the speed to try and catch up. She was having a great time a lot better than she'd had in years.  
  
Ranma's clothes were ripped and torn from her shifting to her hybrid form. It was a general miracle that they didn't come appart when she was chasing Makoto before. Miracles end however as she hit the sound barrier the rips and tears suddenly became larger, much larger. Her shirt was first as it tore free of her torso and quickly decelerated. That was one of her favorite red silk shirts too. Damn she was hoping that her mom would be able to fix it. She was so shocked that she almost tripped when her pants came off next leaving her running along in her boxer shorts. She started to slow down allowing Makoto to catch up.   
  
Makoto was trying her best not to laugh and failing miserably.  
  
"He he. What was that you said about not wanting to run naked?"   
  
"Don't laugh it could be you running naked you know." Ranma was getting steamed.  
  
"But it's just so funny...." She couldn't hold it in any longer, she broke down lauging her ass off.  
  
"Alright you asked for it." Ranma said as she pounced ontop of Makoto. They rolled around on the ground Makoto's uniform aquiring several new ripps and tears. At the end of their impromptu fight/tickle fest Makoto's uniform was pretty much trashed.  
  
"My uniform! Oh man this was my last one too!" Now she'd have to run naked like Ranma. She turned to where Ranma was but found that she wasn't there. She looked down and saw Ranma in her full cheetah form cleaning herself and looking smug.  
  
"You planned this from the start didn't you?" Ohh he was going to pay for this.  
  
"Rawr ror."  
  
"So you want to run as a cheetah do you now?" Ok two could play at this game. She tore off all of her clothes leaving her completely naked for a couple of seconds it took for her to shift to her cat mode.  
  
She ran right over Ranma and took off along the tracks back to Tokyo. Ranma was so stunned at seeing her naked again that it took a good two minutes before she noticed that Makoto had already left and had gotten a really good head start.  
  
Ranma shook her head as she took off hoping to catch up to her without having to resort to supersonic speeds.  
  
Rewind time, shift scene.  
  
It was morning in the Tsukino household. Mrs Tsukino was in the kitchen finishing up breakfast. Her husband was at the table reading the morning paper. Shingo was taking a bath, Chibi Usa was downstairs watching tv, and Usagi was still sleeping like a corpse.   
  
Quickly glancing at the clock on the wall she noted that if she didn't wake up right now Usagi would be late for school again. She sighed and wondered about her daughter sometimes. For someone who was sixteen years old she acted like she was five sometimes. She acended the stairs and went to her daughters room. She didn't bother knocking on the door and just went in. Luna was there shouting as loud as she dared trying to wake Usagi up. Mrs. Tsukino had known for a long time about Luna and her ability to talk, and about her daughter being sailor moon. A mother just knows these things about her children. Well that and the walls were thin and both Luna and Usagi had a tendancy to talk in their sleep.  
  
"So Luna are you having trouble waking her up again?"   
  
"Mrowr." Luna said in return.  
  
"You know Luna you and I are going to have to have a talk one of these days." She said as she walked over to her daughter's bed. "Ok off." She said as she grabbed the far sheets. Luna jumped off the bed already knowing what she was going to do as it seemed to be the only way to wake up her charge.  
  
She quickly flipped the sheets spilling the still sleeping Usagi onto the floor and incidentally making the bed at the same time. As soon as her head hit the floor Usagi was awake.  
  
"Oh Mamo chan! Wait what am I doing here?"   
  
"Being late for school that's what. Breakfast is ready."  
  
"I'm going to be late! Why didn't you wake me earlier?" She yelled at Luna.  
  
Mrs. Tsukino went downstairs and served up breakfast. Usagi as usual ran downstairs scarfed down enough for two people and took off running out the door. Chibi Usa, Shingo, and Mr. Tsukino left shortly after. Luna and Mrs. Tsukino were the only two left in the house.  
  
"Alright Luna let's talk."   
  
"Mrowor."   
  
"You talk in your sleep kitty cat now spill it."  
  
"Fuck."  
  
"That's a good start. Now lets talk about my daughter being a princess shall we."  
  
In another part of town another blond was getting ready for the day. Artemis was lamenting his fate. No sex for a month. Oh and that cute persian Kikyo from down the street was in heat again. He was in hell.  
  
"I hope you learn your lesson." Minako was still lecturing him.  
  
"But Minako it wasn't my fault she was putting off umm pheramones yeah that's right. I couldn't help myself."  
  
"So you just had to go and screw my best friend's leg. Sorry not buying it."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Your grounded remember end of story."  
  
"Fine." Maybe if he couldn't go out he could get them to come to him. He the white stud rides again.  
  
Minako ate her breakfast quckly but not as fast as Usagi. She then saw that she only had ten minutes to get to school she panicked and ran off at top speed towards school.  
  
Changing scene yet again we arrive at the Hiakawa shrine. Rei is late this morning because her grandfather had her clean up the storage room and fix the door. She finished around two in the morining. She couldn't really blame Makoto for the door as they were trying to kill her. She still winced at that.   
  
She would have to do something to try and make it up to her. Maybe bake her some cookies or something.  
  
'Sorry we tried to kill you here's some cookies.'  
  
Yeah like that would really work. She sighed as she ate her toast on the way to school. Hopefully Makoto would come back and they could at least try to fix things. She didn't want to lose Makoto as a friend.  
  
Yet another change of scene.  
  
Nothing different was happening at the Mizuno household so let's just move on.  
  
At the Saotome household Shampoo was up and sparring with her great-grandmother while Nodoka was making breakfast. Last night when she came home she told them all about what had happened at the shrine and what the older scout told her about Ranma and Makoto. She of course left out the part about the pen. She didn't know what to think about it and wanted to talk to Makoto before she told anybody else.  
  
Ranma's mother was estatic. Her son was so manly! She was so giddy that when Shampoo asked if she could sleep with Ranma Nodoka gave her blessing without hesitation even going so far as to ignore the rules that she set out yesterday.  
  
Right now Shampoo was just winding down from a particularly hectic sparring with her great-grandmother. The old bat was pushing her harder than she ever had before. True she had slacked off in her training a bit since she came to Nerima but she was still in top form and constantly fighting with Akane, Ukyo, and Kodachi had only helped to increase her skills farther.   
  
"Shampoo it has come to my attention recently that I have been negligent in your training. I fear that with all the excitement I have neglected my duties as your teacher." She reached into her robes and pulled out a bag of sweet chestnuts. "I fully intend to make up for my errors starting now."  
  
"Breakfast is ready everyone!" Nodoka called from the kitchen.  
  
"I fully intend to make up for my errors starting after school today. Now let's go eat." She said as she pogoed off towards the house.  
  
Shampoo had to peel her face off the ground from her facefault. Cologne used to make her train right through meals now... she looked towards the house. Had the elder gone soft living in Japan with all it's modern conveniences or did she have some alternative motive? The elders always had something up their sleeves. Personally she hoped that she died a heroic death rather than grow old and become an elder herself.  
  
She trecked off towards the house to get cleaned up, eat breakfast and get off to school. Stupid school she'd get it someday. She smiled a cruel smile. A few well placed breaking points would have it reduced to rubble in no time at all.   
  
The rest of the morning passed uneventfully, well except for her food mysteriously disappearing. She looked at her grandmother strangely. Was she trying to duplicate the fat bastard's training? She hoped not. Trying to learn the neko ken in her condition would be umm bad.  
  
"Shampoo if you don't leave now you'll be late." Cologne said calmly while sipping her tea.  
  
Shampoo choked down the rest of her food, grabbed her bag and dashed out of the door and took to the roofs so that she could go faster her skirt billowing out giving everybody who was underneath and just happened to be looking up a really good panty shot.  
  
Back at the Saotome household.  
  
"You know that was really mean of you setting the clock ahead 15 minutes like that." Walter said as he reset the clock back to the proper time.  
  
"Her ass has been getting too big sitting around here doing nothing. I just thought she could use the exercise." She said before getting up and wandering over to where Nodoka was cleaning up. "Here let me do that, you've got to get to work now don't you?"  
  
"How did you....?"  
  
"I'm old we just know these things. That and I saw the reports on the table."  
  
"Alright then I'm off." She grabbed her briefcase and stepped out the door.  
  
Cologne turned to where Walter was wiping down the table. Under her breath she muttered. "So it's just you and me today sonny. He he now to cause some havok." Louder she said. "I'll go do the dishes and clean up the kitchen. Don't worry about lunch I've got to go out later to run some errands."  
  
"Alright. According to Shampoo Ranma and Makoto should be back sometime today. Are you going to be long?"  
  
"Possibly. I wouldn't worry too much about those two. This is just a chance for them to get to know eachother better. It'll do them some good."  
  
"I guess you're right. They do make a good couple."  
  
"You mean triple. Shampoo is in there too. If they all work together this will be one interesting marriage." She cackled as she pogoed off.  
  
Walter stood there for a few moments and then shuddered. It felt like somebody was tapdancing on his grave wearing steeltoed combat boots.  
  
As it turns out Shampoo was early to school. She was sitting in her seat cursing her ancestors. Well the living ones at least. Ami came in next reading another one of her books. She glanced briefly at Shampoo and dismissed her as a threat and went back to reading her book. Shampoo seriously thought about screwing with her head but thought better of it as they were supposed to be her friends now.  
  
Slowly the rest of the students trickled into the classroom. The noise level slowly rose as more and more students entered the classroom. Shampoo ignored all of them. Strange multi coloured skirt, and orange skirt hadn't gotten to class yet and she didn't think that red skirt went to this school. She was looking around for Ranma and Makoto but couldn't see them.  
  
There was a disturbance at the front of the classroom. Shampoo was the only one who turned to look. She saw multi coloured skirt and orange skirt come tumbling into the class just ahead of the teacher.  
  
Ms. Haruna waited until Usagi and Minako got to their seats.   
  
"Alright roll call..." She then proceeded to call out the names and the corresponding student responded. "...Kino Makoto.... Makoto. Ok she's absent." She scanned the classroom. "It also appears that Mr. Saotome is also absent." She marked both of them off on the attendance and continued on.  
  
Class proceeded normally like it did the day before. The teachers tried to teach, the students tried to stay awake and everybody was wishing that time would mysteriously speed up.  
  
Shampoo was just starting to nod off durring her history. She would have to appologize to Ranma about teasing him for falling asleep in class. She was suddenly jolted awake by a loud crash from the courtyard and screaming of terrified students. Ms Haruna gave an exagagerated sigh.  
  
"All right everybody just sit down. The monster will rampage for a bit and the sailor scouts will show up and kill it then we can ge back to class." She stood with her arms crossed. Usagi, Minako and Ami were fidgeting in their seats.  
  
Two minutes passed and still no stupid speaches. The crashing could still be heard and people in the background could be heard screaming.  
  
"Oh god somebody please help us."  
  
"Arg!"  
  
"Raaar."  
  
Crash Bang smash oh you get the idea.  
  
Shampoo who'd had enough of this raised her hand. Ms. Haruna acknowledged her.  
  
"Can Shampoo be excused go save world?"  
  
"Shampoo please try again and remember your pronouns."  
  
Shampoo scrunched up her face.  
  
"Can I please be excused so that I can go save the world."  
  
"That's better but no. What do you think this is the Power Puff girls?"  
  
Shampoo was banging her head against her desk. No wonder Ranma did this so often it was oddly theraputic.   
  
"Shampoo go kill monster be back in second." She said as she pulled her favorite Tai Chi sword from subspace, ran over to the window, and jumped out.   
  
The entire class ran over to the windows to see if she had become one with the pavement. What they saw was Shampoo going hand to hand with the monster and trashing it.   
  
Usagi, Minako, and Ami took this opportunity to slip out of the classroom to go change.  
  
Up in the classroom it may have looked like Shampoo was giving the monster what for, but down on the ground it was a different story. The monster was slow so she had no problems evading it's clumsy strikes, it probably had magic resistance since her sword was doing damage to it. The biggest problem Shampoo found was that it had regeneration. No matter what she tried she just couldn't seem to do enough damage to it so that it couldn't heal. Hell she'd tried cutting it's arms, legs and head off three times already but they just grew back a few seconds later.  
  
Shampoo was getting frustrated.  
  
"Hold! Schools are for sleeping. For interupting many student's well earned rest... I shall punish you." Sailor Moon said while making stupid gestures. Shampoo wondered if the first thing that she should teach them was how to NOT give away the element of surprise. She looked briefly at what were supposed to be her new allies. Oh did she have a lot of work ahead of her.  
  
While Sailor Moon was off doing her stupid speach and poses, Mercury was scanning the monster. She'd learned her lesson and would make sure they didn't make the same mistake twice.  
  
"It's got tons of magic resistance and it can regenerate." She looked at her screen again before putting her computer away. "We're going to have to do a lot of damage to it to kill it."  
  
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Minako said.  
  
Mercury gave an evil grin. "Quite. Let's do it."  
  
Moon had a perplexed look on her face. "Um I rarely know what you're thinking."  
  
Venus and Mercury resisted the facefault.  
  
"Our new weapons!"  
  
Moon blanched. She didn't want to be caught dead using her weapon.  
  
"No, no way. I am not going to do it. I'll just stand over here for a while."  
  
"Suit yourself." Minako said. She then reached into her subspace pocket and pulled out her weapon.  
  
"Venus Love Me Chainsaw."  
  
BRAPPPP PP PPP PPP  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
Venus Love me Chainsaw:  
  
Husqvarna 10 horse logging chainsaw  
  
Blade length 5 feet  
  
Self oiling titanium carbide chain  
  
Turbo feature for those particularly tough spots.  
  
Harts painted all along the blade  
  
+1 enchantment  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
Minako was giggling like a mad woman as she charged the monster. Shampoo having some sense got the hell out of the way of the crazy woman. Just before she got to the monster she jumped into the air and hit the turbo button. The chainsaw screamed as the chain speed doubled. The monster tried to block but it was futile as the blade easily cut through it's carapace bisecting the monster in a gory spray. Minako was just standing there breating a bit heavily covered head to toe in neon pink monster blood.  
  
"I'm going to need a shower." She giggled. "But now I understand Jupiter a bit better that was fun."  
  
Ami of course was ignoring Minako as she was too busy scanning the monster to make sure it was dead. About halfway through her scan the two halves of the monster regenerated themselves into two monsters.  
  
"Moon use your weapon. Hold them off while my weapon charges." Mercury yelled just before she reached into her subspace pocket and pulled out her weapon.  
  
Moon hesitated before finally relenting. Shampoo and Minako had their hands full fighting both monsters. Minako was her friend and she wanted Shampoo as a friend. She screwed up her courage and pulled her weapon out of storeage.  
  
"Moon   
  
Safety  
  
Scissors!"  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
Moon safety scissors:  
  
Playschool brand safety scissors  
  
Inable to cut paper, skin etc so Usagi won't hurt herself when she accidentally trips.  
  
If she does manage to scratch something with it the scissors have a +5 vorpal enchantment on them.  
  
There is a little moon symbol on the fulcrum.  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
Moon charged the monster Minako was on but was immediately batted away. Minako thought that they might actually have to call the outers for this when Mercury called out.  
  
"Everybody get behind me NOW!"   
  
Shampoo was the first to disengage, as she had more training, and ran off to be behind the blue skirted senshi. She didn't know much but she didn't want to be on the wrong end of what she was carrying.  
  
Minako disengaged next and ran over to help Moon. They both ran aver to where Mercury was struggling to stay standing.  
  
"Alright now let's see how this works." She said as she was straining to hold her weapon upright and pointed at the monsters.  
  
She pressed the red fire button on the upper handle and her weapon started to shake.  
  
Just for fun she decided to call out an attack phrase. Like it would matter.  
  
"Mercury BFG!"  
  
------------------------------------------  
  
Mercury BFG 9000:  
  
Weight: 250 kilos  
  
Power source: Plutonium micro fission generator  
  
It emits a positronic plasma beam capable of vaporizing hardened ceramic and starlight in seconds.   
  
Organic material within 10 feet on either side of the beam takes damage as if it was in the beam itself.  
  
Recharge time: 30 seconds  
  
Fire time: 10 seconds  
  
The BFG is the most powerful handheld mobile weapon in existance.   
  
On the side is painted the symbol of Mercury.  
  
--------------------------------------------  
  
The beam lanced out of the barrel and struck the monster on the left dead on. The monster exploded into chunks no larger than a quarter. The pieces turned to dust not long after. The monster on the right was not hit directly however a smaller beam shot out from the main beam and tagged it. The monster was also blown apart but the pieces were much larger, around the size of a roast. Still the damage was enough that it didn't get up again. The pieces dissolved into piles of dust shortly thereafter.  
  
Mercury the weakest of the senshi had killed two monsters with one shot. She was feeling pretty good about herself at that moment. She put the BFG back in subspace because even with her senshi enhanced strength it was damned heavy.  
  
"That was sooo cool!" Moon squealed. She wished she had a gun like that as she tripped over a blade of grass and fell on her face incidentally flashing her panties (thong) at the boys watching the fight from the windows in the school. She instantly became the most popular sailor scout.   
  
Mercury and Venus grabbed Moon and took off for a secluded area so they could change back and get back to class.  
  
Shampoo was left alone in the courtyard. There were several piles of dust on the ground from where the monsters died. Looking farther she noticed a swath of dead grass that had been in the beam's path.   
  
Shampoo shuddered as she put her sword back into her subspace pocket. This kind of power was not something she ever wanted pointed in her direction. Maybe being their friend would be a good thing she thought as she jumped the three stories to get back to her classroom.  
  
When she landed on the windowsill those students who had been watching scrambled to get away from her. Sailor scouts were one thing but Shampoo wasn't a sailor scout. Even the perverts didn't give themselves much of a chance against her if they ever ticked her off.  
  
Shampoo noticed that Usagi, Minako and Ami had detransformed and snuck back into the classroom without being seen. Usagi being quiet will wonders never cease.  
  
"Alright class show's over back to work." Said Ms. Haruna over the din of all the students talking about the senshi and their new weapons. While it was unanimous that Mercury's gun was the coolest most of the guys were talking about Sailor moon's panties or the lack thereof. Usagi had her head down on her desk so they couldn't see her blush. Ami of course was right in there with the geeks trying to figure out how the weapon worked. She of course had the advantage of already knowing how it worked.   
  
When Ms. Haruna shouted out for everybody to be quiet and get back to work they obeyed. There would be plenty of time to discuss Sailor Moon's choice of underwear later, as right now Ms Haruna was the bigger threat.  
  
The rest of the day passed uneventfully, well except for Usagi who disappeared for a bit durring gym class.  
  
At the end of the day Shampoo was walking back to her new home. She was downcast because Ranma and Makoto did not return this afternoon like that green haired sailor had told her. Looking back she noticed that red skirt and the small pink haired one had joined in the procession following her back to Mrs. Saotome's house. She sighed as she saw a black sports car parked outside the gates. In it she saw three girls. Probably the other three sailors. She hoped that they weren't here to make trouble. One or two of them she may be able to handle but all of them.  
  
Shampoo didn't think their chances were very good.  
  
They all followed her through the gate and upto the front door. When she got there Walter was there to let her in. He was in his human form however she saw that Mrs. Saotome was in her hybrid form talking to her great-grandmother.   
  
"Welcome home young miss." He looked behind her. "Ah yes these must be Makoto's friends am I correct?" They all nodded even Haruka. "So you're the ones who tried to kill her and made her run off." He punctuated his statement by shifting into his hybrid form.  
  
Just as they were reaching for their transformation pens Nodoka came up behind Walter and shoved him off to the side. He landed in a heap on the floor.  
  
"Walter there is no need to scare them. I'm sure they just came here to appologize to Makoto." She turned her full attention towards the potentially lethal schoolgirls infront of her. "Is that right?" Please let her be right or at least fast enough to kill them all before they could transform.  
  
Usagi stepped forward. She was sniffling, her eyes were watering and her lip was trembling. She looked like she would explode into waterworks at any time now.  
  
"Ok ok come in. They're not back yet but they should be back soon, you're welcome to stay for supper." She smiled. At least now she won't have to clean the blood out of her fur.  
  
Walter led the group to the living room. The girls were all nervous as they followed him. Once they got to the living room Usagi noticed the game system. She immediately raced over and picked up the controller.  
  
"Usagi that's not yours now sit down!" Rei yelled.  
  
"Now, now if she wants to play let her." Keep her occupied so they didn't think about killing them.  
  
Nodoka and Walter retired to the kitchen to prepare supper for the girls, while Shampoo and Cologne were left to entertain the girls. They started out by playing a fighting game. Each of the girls taking a turn. Cologne originally declined the offer to play but after some pretty good begging by Usagi she finally relented. Nobody could beat her of course. After 300 years her reflexes were so finely tuned that she could rattle off combo's faster than the machine could process the commands. The only one who came close to beating her was Shampoo. The beatings continued for about a half an hour before they heard the front door open.  
  
Ranma and Makoto had just gotten home from their little run in the wild. Both of them were covered in small scratches, grass/leaves/twigs, and lots of dirt. What had happened was that Makoto was feeling playful so when she got close to Ranma she slapped him on the rump with her paw. He spun around and lunged at her. He misjudged and went tumbling. He got up and lunged for her again and tagged her this time. He then ran away. Makoto chased him to tag him back. It eventually degraded into a highspeed game of tag which then further degraded into a wrestling match.   
  
By the time that they had worn themselves out they noticed that they had gotten quite lost and it was getting quite late. They started backtracking and eventually figured out which way to go and headed back to Tokyo.   
  
When they reached Tokyo they were presented with another problem. Ranma didn't want to do another 'mad run' through the streets of Tokyo so he had Makoto follow him. He developed a series of signals so that he could tell Makoto when to crouch down, when to hide, and when to run. It took a while and she was spotted a few times but she eventually got the basics of stealth down. Of course when Ranma hid she had a hard time finding him even when she saw him hide.  
  
She briefly thought about playing hide and seek but thought better of it until she got better at tracking by scent. She looked over to where Ranma was currently hiding. She couldn't see him at all even though he only had a small box to hide in. She marvalled at how flexable she must be to contort her body to fit in the box without any visible signs that she was in there.  
  
When the coast was clear Makoto watched as Ranma flowed out of the box. It was like watching water flowing over a stone in a river. She felt jealous that her fiance had so much grace. In comparisson she was an overgrown hippo pounding through the underbrush letting out rauckous farts every so often.  
  
Nobody can berate yourself better than you can.  
  
They eventually made it back to the house. Once they jumped the wall they were pretty much home free. Opening the door was a bit of a challange but after about thirty seconds Ranma finally got it open. Once they were inside Ranma closed the door. They heard the tv in the living room and Ranma's game system. Makoto ignored it and went upstairs to get the dirt off and put on some clothes.   
  
Ranma being the curious cat he was decided to let Makoto get cleaned up first while he checked out the guests. When he got to the living room he just walked in and froze. There was Cologne whipping Usagi's butt at Street Fighter Zero alpha Omega 3. Usagi turned her head after she'd lost yet again to Cologne's mad skillz and stared right into Ranma's eyes.  
  
Cheetah + young + nothing between the legs = Makoto  
  
"Mako chan!" She screamed as she launched herself at the frozen cheetah.   
  
Ranma was too stunned to dodge and was the recipient of a very good facimile of an amazon glomp. Usagi's arms were wrapped tightly around Ranma's neck and she was bawling her eyes out. If Ranma could breath he would have noticed the similarities to Mr. Tendo. Unfortunately he was just trying to breath right now. His mouth was open and his tongue was hanging out. His eyes were rolling up and he was turning blue. Luna would have recognized the signs as the same as she got when Usagi got 'over affectionate'.  
  
Usagi was still strangling Ranma and sobbing but now she was babbling out some kind of appology. Ranma just wished she'd gone up with Makoto to get cleaned up and changed back to his guy form. Well that and for this damned ditzy blond to let the fuck go of him.  
  
"Oh Mako Chan we're so sorry" *snurk* "we didn't know" *sniffle* "we... we..." *honk* "We're Sorry can you forgive us! Wahhhhhh"  
  
Ranma was trying to stay away from the light at the end of the tunnel when Makoto finally stepped into the living room. She was clean and dressed in one of Ranma's red silk shirts and black pants. She was in her hybrid form and had her arms crossed underneath her breasts and was tapping her foot on the floor.  
  
"Alright I forgive you; now let go of Ranma I don't think he can breathe."  
  
Usagi loosened her grip on the cheetah. She looked at Makoto then at the cheetah then back to Makoto.  
  
"Um if you're over there who's this?" She said before she reached between the cheetah's legs to make sure it was female. Yup female.  
  
"That would be Ranma that you strangled." No she was not jealous.  
  
"But Ranma is MALE this cheetah is FEMALE. I at least know the difference between boys and girls Makoto." She checked again this time actually sticking her finger in just to make 100% sure.  
  
The sensation of being fingered in female form was enough to jumpstart Ranma's oxygen starved brain. She jumped out of Usagi's grip  
  
and ran towards the kitchen. Hopefully she would be able to at least change back to a male cheetah there. The sensation of Usagi sticking her fingers there was just so wrong.  
  
Back at the living room Makoto had her head in her hands. The rest of the girls were all blushing. That's not to say they weren't confused. Shampoo was trying to get past her great-grandmother to strangle the stupid meatball head.  
  
"Usagi I can't believe you just did that!" Rei shouted at her bunny brained friend.  
  
Usagi brought her slick fingers up to her eyes. She took a whiff.  
  
"But it was a girl! Makoto's fiance is a guy!"  
  
"I believe that I can answer that." Cologne interjected. She grabbed a glass of water that was on the table and doused Shampoo with it. She immediatly shrunk down and disappeared into her dress.  
  
Cologne reached into the now empty dress and pulled out a pink, purple and white hissing cat. The cat started hissing and spitting and trying to claw Usagi. Cologne had a good grip on the cat so it looked like Shampoo was hanging vertically and clawing mid air. The girls shied away from the viscious feline.  
  
"Near our villiage there is a valley of accursed springs, if anything falls into one of the pools they are cursed to take on the form of the last thing to drown in the pool. Cold water activates the curse and hot water returns the victim to their original form." Shampoo stopped trying to claw Usagi's eyes out and turned to glare at her great-grandmother. "As you can see my great granddaughter fell into the spring of drowned cat." Shampoo thought briefly of trying to shred her great-grandmother. She dismissed the thought however when she realized that she couldn't do much to her great-grandmother in this form.  
  
"Wait a minute." Said Ami jumping into the conversation. "If your granddaughter is cursed to become a cat then Ranma is cursed..."  
  
"To become a girl when hit with cold water." Makoto finished still glaring at Usagi. "If it wasn't so funny I'd hit you." She said cracking a smile. "Although I'd stay away from Shampoo and sharp objects for a while. After all he is her husband and only she's supposed to touch him there." She broke down into giggles.  
  
Usagi gulped and looked towards Shampoo. The cat was still glaring at her and growling in a low menacing tone.  
  
"Um would it help to say I'm sorry."   
  
The cat shook it's head.  
  
Usagi looked at Cologne. "Is there a cure for her curse?"  
  
"No child. For the rest of her life Shampoo will change into a cat when hit with cold water."  
  
Usagi had a brain wave. It was small and insignificant of course but when that one neuron fired it was like a chorus in heaven.  
  
"Maybe I can cure her curse!" Of course the gods were laughing their diefic butts off at this.  
  
"Child I am not so sure of that many have tried and many have failed before. What makes you so certain that you can succeed." Shampoo had only heard up to the point about curing her curse. She conveniently ignored Cologne's sceptacism.  
  
"Because I have love and justice on my side. Well that and a class one magical artifact."   
  
Cologne's face met the floor. Of course since she went through the breaking point training she wasn't hurt.  
  
Cologne was about to respond to Usagi's boast of having a class one magical artifact when Nodoka stepped into the room. She had an apron on that had a few blood stains on it. She was still in her hybrid form.  
  
"Well now it seems that the misunderstanding has been cleared up."  
  
"Yes Aunty everything is fine now. They're not going to try and kill me anymore." She of course would keep a close eye on them of course. Friends or not Uranus had spells of 'bad aim' where she would 'accidentally' shoot at her own teammates.  
  
The other girls nodded.  
  
"That's good. I'm making plenty of food so you're all welcome to stay for dinner."  
  
Minako spoke up. "After you uhh ran out at the meeting Setsuna explained everything." She said kind of depressed, then brightened up a lot before continuing. "She gave all of us that don't have weapons, weapons so that we can fight!" She said happily as she pulled out her chainsaw. "Here's my Love me chainsaw! Isn't it just the best!"  
  
Rei was next as she pulled out her Mars fire bat. It was an aluminum baseball bat with an enchantment on it so that it wouldn't dent or break.  
  
Mirachu pulled out her desert eagle .50. It wasn't magical but with the hollow tips it could do a hell of a lot of damage.  
  
Ami was next as she pulled out her BFG 9000. Of course since she wasn't transformed at the time she couldn't hold it up and it fell to the floor with a thump. Makoto walked over to where Ami was.  
  
"How do you use it if you can't even hold it?"   
  
"When I'm sailor mercury I can hold it but it's still heavy." She said while struggling to lift it.  
  
Makoto walked over and picked it off of the floor with one hand.  
  
"It's not that heavy." She said while almost effortlessly swinging it around. Ami was dumfounded. Just how strong was Makoto now? Ami then smiled. She had just found a guiny pig!   
  
A certain red haired genius sneezed.  
  
Makoto turned to look at Usagi. "So what did Pluto give you?"  
  
Usagi sniffled and pulled out her safety scissors. Makoto doubled over in laughter.  
  
"Well at least I got Something! She didn't leave you anything!" Usagi shot back.  
  
Makoto stopped laughing.  
  
"She didn't?" Why would Setsuna give everybody else something but leave her out.   
  
"Nope nothing. Now that I think about it you don't have a weapon so why would she leave you out?"  
  
Nodoka thought to interject before Makoto could say anything.  
  
"Makoto dear." She said while holding her hands up and flexing her fingers.  
  
Makoto's eyes widened in realization. The reason Setsuna didn't give her anything was that she already HAD weapons. She smiled.  
  
"Actually I DO have weapons."  
  
"What? What did you get!" Usagi was eager to see what her friend got. It just had to be better than the crappy 'weapon' that she got.  
  
Makoto smiled, crossed her arms over her chest and brought out her claws with a nice satisfying   
  
Shing  
  
Two foot long gleaming white claws emerged from between her fingers.  
  
"I think I'm well armed." She said while bringing her claws down to her sides in a wide sweaping arc.  
  
The girls were shocked speechless. Normally only the monsters they fought had claws that big. This kind of thing would take some getting used to.   
  
While the girls were a bit out of it. Nodoka decided that now would be a good time to address something that had been bothering her ever since Makoto had gotten home.  
  
"Makoto why are you wearing my son's clothes?"  
  
"Because mine were destroyed." She responded.  
  
"Oh my son is so manly!" Nodoka giggled. Ranma had ripped off Makoto's clothes and they made out under the stars. "Although I do wish he would have at least had some control to at least undo the buttons first." Visions of kittens danced in her head.  
  
There was an 'Awk' and the sound of something tumbling down the stairs in the background but everybody ignored it in favor of listening to see if Makoto had gotten her cherry popped.  
  
"Aunty! Ranma didn't do anything to me last night! My clothes were destroyed by wind resistance!"  
  
"Wind resistance?" Said Ami as she recovered first from seeing Makoto's claws.  
  
"Wind resistance?" Nodoka's eyes widened as she finally realized what Makoto was talking about. "Wind resistance! I'm so sorry I completely forgot about that. I haven't been able to run that fast in years." She once ran so fast that she hit the sound barrior and she was one of the fastest runners in the tribe.  
  
"What do you mean wind resistance? Just how fast can you run?!!" Ami was getting more and more excited.  
  
"Well Ranma's faster, I mean he broke the sound barrior. All I could do was get up to the barrior but I couldn't get through."  
  
"You can run faster than Sound!" Haruka was having a problem with that. She was into speed but that was a bit much for her ego to take that somebody could go faster than she ever could, and under their own power at that.  
  
"No I can rrrun fasterrrr than sound." Said Ranma as he entered the living room.   
  
Guinny pig #2  
  
Ranma was dressed in a silver spandex one piece suit. He hated the thing because it made him look like he was wearing nothing. He put a pair of shorts on to conceal his lower regions however they did nothing to cover his rippling chest or legs. He was still in hybrid form so the suit was stretched tightly accross all the parts that counted. All of the girls who were old enough gave him an appreciative look, even Haruka and Mirachu gave him a second glance.  
  
Cologne had let Shampoo go after she had calmed down. She walked over to where Ranma was and started rubbing against his legs. He bent over and picked her up and started petting her. She stuck her cat tongue out at the girls watching her. The waves of jealousy coming off all the girls could be seen in the air.  
  
Chibi Usa grabbed Hotaru's hand and dragged her over to where Makoto was watching Ranma pet Shampoo. Chibi Usa reached up and tugged on Makoto's shirt. Makoto looked down at her.   
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Could you change into a cheetah." Usa asked. She decided it wasn't time yet to bring out the puppy dog eyes.  
  
"Uhh sure." She didn't like where this was going but Chibi Usa knew her so she guessed it was ok. She shifted to her cheetah form. The clothes became way too big on her all of a sudden. Chibi Usa and Hotaru helped her out of her clothes.  
  
She was still wondering what the two munchkins were up to until Chibi Usa started petting her. Hotaru was a little hesitant at first but once she started petting her she didn't want to stop. Makoto's fur was short but it was a lot softer than she thought it would be.  
  
Makoto was in heaven it was like getting a full body massage. She started purring involuntarily. Rei walked over and picked out a spot that currently wasn't recieving attention and started petting as well. Usagi was next pulling up a spot near her rump and started petting. Usagi was a little rough but a kick from Makoto and being berated by Rei made her ease up a bit.   
  
Since there were already four girls on Makoto there wasn't much petting real estate left. Minako looked towards where Ranma was petting Shampoo. She gave an evil grin.  
  
Nodoka being too old to be treated like a housepet decided to retreat to the kitchen before the girls got any ideas. Her son on the other hand could stand to have a few more female admirors. He he kittens!  
  
"Oh Ranma! (heart effect) Would you mind terribly if you changed into a cheetah?" She used all of her feminine skills to try and push and prod him into changing so that she would have something to pet.  
  
"Umm ahh well..." he stuttered.  
  
"Oh go on son in law let the girls have their fun." Cologne said while grabbing Shampoo's clothes off the floor. she then pogoed over to where Ranma was petting Shampoo. she took Shampoo out of Ranma's hands and pogoed off to get her great-granddaughter some hot water so she could pet her husband too.  
  
Ranma looked around nervously as Minako was staring at him expectantly. Ami was looking at him too. Even Mirachu was looking at him like she wanted to see him change into a cheetah. The only one who wasn't looking at him was Haruka. She had picked up the controller and had started playing the game.  
  
"Well?" Minako said. "Are you going to change or not?" She said while tapping her foot on the floor.  
  
"Alright fine." He threw his hands up in the air before he transformed into his full cheetah form.  
  
"Yeah!" Minako shouted before she skipped over to help Ranma out of his clothes. Ami got up and walked over to where Minako was undressing Ranma she started helping.   
  
  
  
Just as she was taking off his boxer shorts Shampoo came tearing into the room. Her chest was heaving as she had jumped off Cologne's shoulder and ran to the kitchen to get hot water and then ran back to the livingroom dressing along the way.   
  
"Shampoo get head." She said between breaths.  
  
"But..." Minako started to protest. Her protest was cut off by Shampoo pulling out her favorite sword.  
  
"Shampoo Airen, Shampoo get head." She put her sword away when Minako started waiving her hands.  
  
"Ok ok you can pet his head." She got as far away from Shampoo as possible before she sat down and started petting his rump. Ami sat down between Shampoo and Minako. She didn't like being a buffer zone between the two but if things got out of hand she could get out of there before they came to blows.  
  
Shampoo started on his head gently stroking from front to back. On every third or fourth stroke she would scratch behind his ears. Everytime she would scratch he would lean into it and purr loudly.  
  
Ranma was in heaven. No wonder cats were such sluts when it came to wanting to be petted it was absolutely glorious. Shampoo was doing a masterful job on his upper half. He guessed turning into a cat herself gave her a unique perspective on how to pet properly. Ami wasn't doing such a good job but she didn't own a cat so it was to be expected.  
  
Minako could pet almost as good as Shampoo. He guessed that owning a talking cat allowed her the insight necissary to be able to do this right. Everytime she stroked he had to fight to keep his hid quarters on the ground everytime she lifted up to move her hand for another stroke.  
  
He loved every minute of it.  
  
Unfortunately everything must come to an end. Only about twenty minutes into the heavy petting session Walter came into the room. He witnessed the girls petting Ranma and Makoto and smiled. They looked to be having such a good time he didn't want to interrupt them but dinner was ready. He loudly cleared his throat.  
  
"Dinner is served." He said.  
  
When the petting stopped both Ranma and Makoto gave low menacing growls indicating that they should continue with the petting or somebody was going to get hurt.  
  
"Now none of that you two. Alright everybody out these two have to put their clothes on." He proceeded to shoo all of the sailor scouts out of the Room. Shampoo refused to be shooed and was allowed to stay.  
  
Makoto transformed back first. She stretched like a cat and moved back and forth. The petting was wonderful but her muscles were too relaxed. She had a couple of kinks to work out. Ranma of course was frozen on the ground staring up at her. Shampoo saw him staring and smacked him on the back of the head to snap him out of it.  
  
"Stupid Ranma you see naked girl before no is special. Now put on clothes we eat now." She tossed his clothes over his head.  
  
"Yeah you've seen me naked before but I've never seen your guy form before now change." She crossed her arms under her breasts propping them up.  
  
"Shampoo see Ranma before but no see cat Ranma. Should be interesting." She smiled and waited for the show.  
  
Ranma slowly stood up his back was to them. Makoto and Shampoo stared as he morphed back into a human. Bones shifted and grew while other parts rearanged themselves. When everything was said and done they were drooling over his well muscled back and tight butt. They were hoping that he would turn around. When he did tun around Shampoo's and Makoto's eyes widened. Shampoo felt... intimidated. She made a mental note to only be with him if he was in human form.  
  
Ranma followed their gazes even though he knew exactly what they were staring at. He heaved a huge sigh and bent down to pick up his clothes. Their eyes tracked his every movement. He proceeded to put on his clothes. He dressed hastily but not so quickly that it was obvious that he was rushing.  
  
When he was finished he was blushing so hot they could feel it from where they were standing.   
  
"Umm I'm going to go eat now." He said before dashing off towards the dining room.  
  
"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Makoto finally said.  
  
"Shampoo go get crowbar and astro glide." She replied while wiping a bit of drool off her chin.  
  
"I don't think it would fit."  
  
"Shampoo try. Is always human form."   
  
"Yeah I guess. Wow umm I wish I knew that before. He he he I guess this won't be so bad after all." Makoto's mind was currently slege diving.  
  
Walter came back to the room a few minutes after Ranma had uncerimoniously left. He saw the two girls talking amongst themselves. He made a note to put the condoms in Ranma's room. the mistress may be eager for kittens but he knew that Ranma was no where near ready to be a father. He made a mental note to make sure he understood the birds and the bees before tonight. He imagined that Makoto and Shampoo had plans for him for tonight but they may not think of such things like protection until it was too late.  
  
Ahh the job of a butler.  
  
He loudly cleared his throat to get their attention. "Just a reminder that dinner is served. Please clean the drrol off of your faces and join us for dinner or do I have to carry you?"  
  
Makoto jumped for her clothes and dressed in record time. She was blushing not that anybody could tell. Shampoo wiped her mouth off and straightened her dress so her nipples wouldn't show so much.   
  
Walter smiled. Ranma would be a happy man... if he survived that is.  
  
Makoto and Shampoo scampered off to the dining room with Walter trailing them. He was smiling for some reason. When they arrived at the dining room they found the rest of the scouts arrayed around the table. There were four spots left and they weren't together.  
  
Ranma was framed by Minako and Rei. Ranma was looking decidedly nervous. Both Shampoo and Makoto frowned at this. He was their fiancee they should be the ones around him. Makoto gave a low growl. Minako and Rei jumped, both of them removing their hands from Ranma's thighs.  
  
"Ahh I think I'll go sit by Usagi." Said Rei nervouslybefore she got up and bolted to the other side of the table.  
  
"I'm good where I am." Minako being blond didn't quite get the first warning growl. Being picked up by the scruff of her neck like a naughty kitten and being brough face to face with a whole bunch of sharp teeth got the message through though.  
  
"I think I'll go sit by Ami." Minako was trying not to wet herself. It wasn't socially acceptable to piss all over your host's floor. She looked back at Makoto's gleaming white teeth. Sharp gleaming white teeth that could tear her to pieces as easily as her chainsaw could cut through a sapling.  
  
"Good plan." She said as she put Minako back onto the floor. Minako for her part didn't immediatly bolt over towards Ami.   
  
Makoto and Shampoo sat down in the recently vacated spots and placed their hands on Ranma's thighs. He went back to being nervous especially when Shampoo started rubbing his thigh.  
  
He was saved by his mom and Walter bringing in the food. They had several trays of meat some of which was still on the bone. They went back into the kitchen and brought out several other dishes. Some contained meat while others were straight vegetables. Once everything was on the table and both she and Walter were properly seated she spoke up.  
  
"Alright what are you waiting for go ahead." She waived her hand in an arc over the table.  
  
Everyone started piling their plates. Usagi and Ranma were having a silent competition to see who could eat the most. Curently Ranma was in the lead but Usagi was gaining ground.  
  
"This is really good could you tell me what it is?" Ami was facinated by the meat. It didn't taste like anything she'd had before.  
  
Makoto decided to answer. "It's called Takeshi." She paused to take a huge bite. "He's some guy we found wandering around. We thought he looked tasty so we brought him home for dinner." She let a bit of blood and juice dribble down her chin onto the table.  
  
The girls that were chewing spit up their food and then reached over to grab their waters to wash their mouths out. Usagi was choking on her food because of the shock of eating Soylent Green... I mean people. She was slowly turning blue. Minako was saying something about 'Not again'. The only one who wasn't panicking was Haruka who continued to eat.  
  
Rei jumped up and started the heimlich manouver to clear Usagi's airway so that she could breath again. She glared at the lauging cats at the table.  
  
"That wasn't very nice you know." Commented Setsuna about ten centimeters from Makoto's ear.  
  
Makoto jumped straight up and clung to the ceiling. Her tail was puffed up and her hair was sticking up all over her body.  
  
Setsuna smiled and took a piece of the meat and popped it into her mouth. She chewed for a bit before swallowing.  
  
"Delicious as always Nodoka." She said while wiping her mouth.  
  
"You're welcome Setsuna, won't you join us?" Nodoka said while getting up to get another place setting.  
  
"If you don't mind." She said while pulling up a chair.  
  
"Setsuna how could you! I mean sure you're all high and mighty up there at the time gates but to actually eat a person!"  
  
Nodoka was just returning from the kitchen and she just managed to catch the last part of the conversation.  
  
"Have you been messing with the children again?" Nodoka said while placing the plate infront of her friend.  
  
"No more than usual." Everyone was just staring at Setsuna.   
  
"But... person." Rei started.  
  
By this time Makoto had recovered and dropped from the ceiling. She had her hand raised to smack Setsuna in the back of her head.   
  
Without turning around Setsuna said "You do remember that you're in your hybrid form right now." she paused to take a sip of her tea. "A dead scream would really hurt right about now." Makoto put her hand that was posed to smack Setsuna behind her head and smiled.  
  
"Sorry about that I guess it was a bit of a mean joke to play on you all." She scratched the back of her head. "It's not human don't worry that was just a joke." She saw them all give a huge sigh of releif.  
  
"Waf if is zen?" Usagi said around a mouthfull of food. She had a long way to go to catch up with Ranma.  
  
Setsuna smiled. "Zebra of course. It keeps their claws from becoming brittle." She took a huge bite and chewed for a bit before swallowing. "MMMM nobody can make zebra like you Nodoka."  
  
"If goom." Usagi said while she continued to stuff her face.  
  
"Usagi you bubble brain do you even know what a zebra is!" She whirled on Nodoka. "Better yet just where in the hell do you GET zebra in Japan anyways!?" Rei yelled.  
  
Makoto pointed to the back of the house. "Out back. Auntie raises them. I originally thought they were pets but..." She paused to take a bite. "food works too."  
  
Only the sounds of eating (shovling) could be heard for the next few minutes. Finally Rei got over her brain fart.  
  
"Why the hell can't you eat something normal like beef or chicken like a normal person!"  
  
Makoto made a big show of looking herself over. Then she looked at Ranma, Walter, and Nodoka. She pulled on her hair and her tail. She twiched her ears.  
  
"I really don't think we're normal people Rei."   
  
"It was a rhetorical question!" Rei shouted.  
  
"Now Rei it's not nice to shout when you're a guest in somebody elses house." Setsuna calmly replied.  
  
Rei shut up quickly.  
  
Nodoka clued into something that Setsuna had said. "So Setsuna which scout are you?"  
  
"Pluto." She responded before taking another bite.  
  
"You know for all the years that I've known you I never knew that." Nodoka commented.  
  
"Well until you found out about Makoto I really couldn't tell you about it. Besides you probably would have run for the hills if you found out who I was." Setsuna smiled.  
  
"You're probably right."  
  
"Auntie just how long have you known Setsuna for?" Makoto asked.  
  
"Oh going on about 8 years now." Nodoka said.  
  
Makoto turned towards Setsuna. "You knew didn't you?"  
  
"I know a lot of things Makoto. If you're reffering to you being Sailor Jupiter, a were cheetah, engaged to Ranma, or the cadbury secret?"  
  
"Umm all of the above except for the cadbury secret."  
  
"Well I couldn't tell you anything or else it would have caused a paradox that would have ripped the fabric of the universe apart like a cheap napkin." She paused to take a sip "If you wanted to know the cadbury secret I couldn't tell you anyway."  
  
She continued eating.   
  
"Oh yes Makoto, Shampoo I was wondering if I would be able to borrow Ranma sometime in the future?"  
  
"What for?" Replied Shampoo who was automatically suspicious.  
  
"Sex of course." Was Setsuna's response.  
  
"WHAT!" Yelled Makoto. "Are you senile old woman, why in the hell would we agree to that!"  
  
"Easy in the next thousand years, I won't be the only one making that request." She looked pointedly around the table at the other scouts. "Lesbianism can only take you so far when you're not a lesbian."  
  
The other scouts just stared at her then turned their gaze towards the trio of Ranma, Shampoo, and Makoto.  
  
"Oh no you don't. Don't you dare put ideas in their heads. Sharing with Shampoo is going to be a challange but if I've got to share with the rest of them.... Uh uh no way not going to happen."  
  
"Shampoo agree no want share more than have to."  
  
"Setsuna I know my son is manly and all but this really isn't something that I'm comfortable with. Why don't you find somebody your own age?"  
  
Setsuna let out a hearty laugh. "Oh Nodoka you really don't know do you?" She said with a twinkle in her eye. "I'm over 5000 years old if I tried to find a guy my age he'd be dust."  
  
Nodoka was taken aback by this. She had no idea her friend was that much older than she was. "I'm still not comfortable with it. Maybe at a later time. If you need it so badly I'm sure Walter would be more than willing to help you with that."  
  
"Don't go volunteering me!" Protested Walter.  
  
"Well I guess he'll do for a bit." Setsuna said ignoring Walter.   
  
"Don't I get a say in this?" Said Walter.  
  
"How long has it been since you were last with a man?" Nodoka asked.  
  
"I think it was during the 60's free love and all. People kind of got stuffy after that."  
  
"Hmm well you can have him tonight if you need to."  
  
"You're just ignoring me aren't you?"   
  
"Wow look at the time I've really got to get home." Said Minako looking at her wrist.  
  
"Yes Hotaru's got to get to sleep." Mirachu said.  
  
"No wait I want to know why lesbianism isn't good enough." Said Haruka before Mirachu grabbed her by the ear and dragged her out of the room.  
  
The other girls excused themselves one by one. Usagi was the last to leave and she had to be litteraly dragged away from the table by her daughter. In the end it was only Setsuna, Cologne, Shampoo, Makoto, Ranma, and Nodoka.  
  
"Well I think I'll be going then." She tossed two boxes towards Makoto and Shampoo.  
  
Makoto got the box of extra large condoms and Shampoo got a box of large condoms.  
  
"I'm pretty sure you know how to use those. It's not a good idea to be popping out kittens just yet." She took a final sip of her tea to finish it off. "Well what are you waiting for go to it!" She said with a shooing motion.  
  
Makoto looked at Shampoo. With a nod from each of them Makoto tossed the box of condoms to Shampoo. She then picked up Ranma by the back of his shorts and tossed him over her shoulder.  
  
"Hey! Don't I get any say in this?" Ranma protested.  
  
"No." Responded a chorus of female voices.  
  
Once they were out of sight Setsuna stood up. She snapped her fingers and was instantly dressed in her sailor fuku.  
  
"Come on stud you've got some work to do tonight." She said as she tossed Walter over her shoulder.  
  
"Hey! Oh well no use fighting it."   
  
"Now you've got the idea." She said before she turned to Nodoka. "Nodoka dinner was great as always, I'll make sure to have him back by tomorrow. What shape he'll be in I can't guarentee." She smiled a bit.  
  
"Have fun you two." Nodoka said as she waived.   
  
One flash of light later and both Setsuna and Walter had disappeared.   
  
"So elder do you feel up to helping me with the dishes?" Nodoka asked getting up from her seat.  
  
"Sure dearie." Cologne said as she got up as well. "I just wish I looked as good as Setsuna does."  
  
"I know. I always thought she just aged well." She shrugged "Who knew."  
  
They heard a 'no it won't fit' and a 'yes it will it just needs some whipped cream.'  
  
"Wanna go get drunk?" Cologne said offhandedly.  
  
"Sure why not."  
  
As the elder and the matriarch of the Saotome clan left the house to go out for a night of serious drinking and celebrating, the scene shifts to the cold depths of space past Mars, traipsing past Jupiter and Saturn, flying past Neptune and Uranus all the way to icy Pluto. It is a cold desolate world barely classifying itself as a planet.  
  
It was here that castle Pluto stood cloaked in a distortion field to hide it from prying eyes.   
  
It was in the depths of space that if one listened very carefully they would hear a faint 'Help me' as Walter finally realized that time is not relative at the time gates and that his one night stand was quickly turning into a week long affair.  
  
He was running out of strength fast.  
  
Authors Notes:  
  
Here we are chapter 4. I'm working on cats tail and it should be out soon. I do appologize for the delay but it's been busy here at work and I haven't had much time to write. That and lunocracy well I just had to write it. It also seems that I have lost my prereader Rajon Rucker if you're still out there give me a shout. 


	5. Chapter 5

D1$cla1m3r: I don't own this they are just used for entertainment purposes only.  
  
Chapter 5:  
  
The next morning was cloudy. The thick dark clouds hung heavy in the air threatening to rain on any unlucky schmuck who stepped out of their protective shelters without their umbrellas.  
  
It was to this dark and dreary day that Ranma greeted the morning. He was in his bed in his room. The curtains were wide open as he didn't have time to close them last night. As he sat up his muscles protested the movement. He felt totally drained from last nights activities.  
  
Looking around it was easy to see why he was so tired. Part of his shirt was laying across his dresser and the other half was over his stereo. A quick glance confirmed that he could not find his underwear anywhere in visual range. The sheets were in major disarray and looked like they had fifty linebackers run over them with their cleats still on. He really should think of a better way to do this so that their claws wouldn't do so much damage. The floor was strewn with used condoms and condom packages. His mother would be thrilled with the sheer number of them littering his floor.  
  
Rolling out of bed despite the protests of his muscles he started cleaning up the mess around his bed. Making sure to cover the condoms etc with the remains of his clothes, He then tied the bag shut and hid it in his room. Taking out the incriminating evidence later tonight and hiding it with the burnable trash. He he he perfect crime.  
  
Little did he know that the neighbors called animal control last night complaining about the noisy cats. That and when the girls went downstairs this morning they were immediately jumped on by Mrs. Saotome and made to spill their guts on everything that happened last night.  
  
The doomed never know they're doomed until it's too late.  
  
Once he'd cleaned up the evidence, or at least as much of it as he could, he inch wormed over to his dresser. Reaching up he pulled his boxer shorts out of the drawer. It took some feats of acrobatics to put on his gitch but he eventually got it on. The crawl from the drawer to the door took 3 minutes. Opening the door took 5.  
  
In the hallway he met Walter who was also crawling his way to the washroom to get cleaned up and hopefully get some of his energy back. Walter was in his hybrid form and he was barely crawling along.  
  
"Aaaaah cat." He said without any enthusiasm.  
  
He then dropped his head to the floor so that he couldn't see Walter. He transformed to his hybrid state his tail popping out of the back of his boxers. He felt a bit of his strength return. It wasn't enough to stand but it was enough to grab Walter and drag him along.  
  
The furo was downstairs in the back. Luckily the house had a second set of stairs so that bathers didn't have to go through the main foyer in a towel or bathrobe.  
  
Gravity is a wonderful thing when encountering stairs.  
  
When they reached the door Ranma opened it and pulled both himself and Walter inside. Once inside he slid the door closed. Like himself Walter was wearing only his underwear. Unlike him Walter was wearing tighty whities.  
  
He had been in the furo before but he had never appreciated the design of it until now.  
  
The furo area was quite large easily three times the size of the Tendo's. It had four wash stations complete with shower heads for rinsing. Instead of tile the floor was either marble or granite that was pitted with bumps and grooves so that it was non slip. On the walls were painted a multitude of cat species in various poses. He made a mental note to never come in here in his human form. The actual furo itself was like a small pool rather than the normal rectangles that most people had. The great thing about it was that it was sunken into the floor like a pool.  
  
He felt somebody pat him on the shoulder. Looking back he saw Walter's hand on his shoulder his thankful face looking back at him.  
  
"You're a good boy you know that?" He said in an extremely tired voice.  
  
"Yeah well it's not overrrr yet. Come on this will make both of us feel betterrrr." Ranma said as he pulled off his boxers. He looked back at Walter.  
  
"Just go I'll have to clean it out anyway."  
  
He then dragged both of them over the side and into the water. He had to pull Walter above the surface so that he wouldn't drown. He sat Walter on the bottom of the pool and then sat beside him to make sure that he didn't slip down.  
  
They sat like that for a while neither one speaking but both of them getting their energy back, their muscles unknotting and relaxing in the hot water of the bath. Ranma briefly considered getting some shampoo or something but it was over at the wash area and that would mean getting out of the nice comfy water. Oh well so he'd smell for a bit no biggie.  
  
"Hard night." Walter said offhand.  
  
"Yeah. You?" He replied.  
  
"Hard week. I don't get paid enough for this."  
  
Walter was tired he must not know what he's saying. Thought Ranma as he scooted away a bit.  
  
"Maybe you should ask for a rrrrraise?" He offered.  
  
"I feel like a whore." Walter said as he slipped beneath the water.  
  
Ranma hauled him up before he drowned.  
  
"Yeah well therrre was Shampoo and Makoto last night."  
  
"Did you satisfy them both?" Walter asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.  
  
"I think so. They both seemed happy afterrrward so I guess so. It's just I've never been this tirrred beforrre!"  
  
"You gave it your all. That's all you can do. Did you remember to use the condoms I left out for you?"  
  
"Yeah we rrrememberrred each time." He put a goofy smile on his face. "It was umm interrresting when we had to change forrr the next rrround."  
  
"I imagine the old flag pole got quite a bit of polish last night then."  
  
If Ranma had never hung out with Hiroshe or Daisuke he would never have known what that obscure comment meant.  
  
Lucky him.  
  
"You're going to be late for school if you don't hurry." Walter said sensing that Ranma was still uncomfortable with the subject.  
  
Ranma eeped and jumped out of the water creating a miniature water spout spilling a lot on the floor. He shook himself dry like a cat sending water flying in every direction. He jumped into his boxer shorts and ran out of the room.  
  
As soon as he left Walter slipped under the water a small patch of bubbles on the surface was the only indication of his being there.  
  
In his room Ranma quickly shifted back to his human form grabbed a towel from his closet and quickly dried off. He put on his uniform and ran out of his room. What little strength that he'd gotten back from his little soak was running out quickly.  
  
When he got to the dining room Shampoo and Makoto were waiting for him along with his mother. Makoto and his mother were in their human form much to his relief. On the table was a huge assortment of various foods.  
  
"Come on Ranma eat up you don't want to be late for school do you?" His mother said while pulling out his chair.  
  
He quickly sat down and proceeded to shovel down as much food as he could.  
  
This was how Pavlov started folks.  
  
Both Shampoo and Makoto were framing Ranma on either side. They were alternating between feeding him and eating themselves. Both had permanent grins etched on their faces. When a little over half of the food was gone they noticed Cologne's staff moving along the side of the table. Shampoo and Makoto followed the staff until it stopped by Cologne's chair and stopped.  
  
When Cologne finally jumped up onto her chair the reaction was unanimous.  
  
"Monster!"  
  
"Gargoyle!"  
  
"Mmmf!"  
  
"Elder you really need to learn when to stop drinking." This came from Nodoka who herself didn't look in top form.  
  
Cologne of course didn't look anything like the old shrunken mummy that she normally looked like. Her normally white hair was dyed red, green and blue. Red on the left, green down the center and blue down the right. Her ears which had never been pierced before now had hoops in them. The same with her left nostril. There also appeared to be a chain running from the nostril ring to one of her earrings. Her right eyebrow had a metal dog bone piercing through it.  
  
Moving on to her clothes next. She was wearing a white Sailor Moon baby doll tee with a neon pacifier tied around her neck with what looked like a spent glow string.  
  
Nobody dared look farther down.  
  
For those brave souls that dared to look at her eyes they couldn't look very long or their souls would be pulled from their bodies and hurled into some deep dark abyss.  
  
"If you say one word... Just one single word I will kill you slowly."  
  
Even though Ranma wasn't finished eating he felt that Walter would need some food so he quietly got up grabbed Shampoo and Makoto and ran for the door. Nodoka sat there calmly sipping her acetosalicylic tea for a few more moments.  
  
"You know you really shouldn't have tried to pick up that guy he was young enough to be your great great great grandson." Commented Nodoka.  
  
"Look at yourself trying to pickup that kid. What was he eighteen? Nineteen?" Cologne shot back. "That and the fact you're a MARRIED woman with a child of your own."  
  
"Well soon to be widow."  
  
"That's beside the point and you know it."  
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes.  
  
"I still say he wasn't drunk enough." Cologne said in a huff as she crossed her arms across her chest.  
  
"You overestimate the delusional power of alcohol."  
  
Shampoo, Ranma and Makoto were walking to school and for once Shampoo wasn't complaining about school or destroying property. The ordering was Ranma in the middle with Shampoo to his left and Makoto to his right.  
  
Suddenly a monster appeared in front of them blocking their path.  
  
The monster was a generic red skinned monster with spikes all over his body. He had a vaguely human shaped head. The weird thing was that this monster like the rest was male instead of the female monsters that the sailor scouts have fought in the past.  
  
"Foolish humans your heart sparkles will soon belong to the master!"  
  
Both Shampoo and Makoto looked at Ranma in expectation. He looked at each of them in turn.  
  
"You've got to be kidding me after all the work I did last night?"  
  
They turned the doe eyes on him.  
  
"Alright fine." He said as they disengaged and he stepped forward.  
  
"Ha ha foolish human so you want to be the first to die a horrible, gruesome and very painful oh so painful death!" The monster yelled as it extended its claws, spikes, and tentacles.  
  
"You know I'm really really tired..." Ranma started as he checked to make sure there was nobody around before shifting to his hybrid form. The uniform developed several large tears in it. He winced as he realized that he had ruined another uniform and that his mother was so going to kill him. "so I'm going to make yourrr death as quick as I can because I'm kinda late for school." He said in a tired voice before extending his ki claws.  
  
"Mommy." The monster whimpered.  
  
Soon the trio was back on their way to school. Ranma had changed back to his human form but his uniform was a lost cause. It was a good thing that he had one of his maoist uniforms in his locker at school. It wasn't the best thing to wear but it beat going around naked the rest of the day no matter how much the girls might like it. He wondered if he could get Makoto or Shampoo to alter a few of his uniforms and a couple of his normal shirts and pants with the velcro tear zones like Makoto had on her uniform before it was destroyed. He knew his mom had money but destroying an entire set of clothes when he changed was just a stupid waste of money.  
  
As they neared the school Ranma saw that he still had some time before class started. He pulled his arms from Shampoo and Makoto's grasps.  
  
"I've got to change I'll see you in class." He said as he jumped the wall and took off for the guys changing room.  
  
Makoto looked over at Shampoo who looked back at her.  
  
"Well then I guess we should get to class then."  
  
"Shampoo agree. Shampoo too too happy to kill school today." She said as she started walking towards the entrance.  
  
"You know Shampoo that's something I'd like to see someday." Makoto commented falling in step with her.  
  
"Makoto want help?" Shampoo said as she raised her eyebrow.  
  
It was all she could do not to gulp. Before last night Makoto would have sworn up and down that she was straight as a rail when it came to her sexuality. Last night changed all that though and she was quite scarred about where that would lead. Last night she remembered a small tryst with Venus and Mercury back in the Moon Kingdom. Apparently that bit of AC/DC behavior had carried over to this lifetime as well.  
  
Shampoo had of course insisted that she get to know her co-wife better since they would be working so close together. She was reluctant at first but eventually gave in. That girl could be so convincing at times with that broken Japanese of hers. Then there was Ranma because they didn't want to leave him out. Well Ranma was pretty simple he was the only heterosexual lesbian that she knew of. It was her reaction that had startled herself this badly. She had not only enjoyed it but with her memories she was able to show the amorous Shampoo a thing or two.  
  
Everybody on the team knew of Rei's affection for the princess and that they covered it up by fighting all the time. She smiled as she thought of the havoc it would cause if she let this little bit of info out. She knew Haruka and Mirichu would be thrilled with some more playmates for their bedtime romps. She then remembered what Setsuna had said last night about them asking for permission to bed Ranma. She frowned at that thought. After last night she had no desire to share him any more than she had to.  
  
On second thought maybe dropping the clues that they were all a lot closer back in the day would be a bad idea.  
  
She looked back at Shampoo.  
  
"Well if it gets damaged by a monster fight with the sailor scouts there's nothing we can do about it can we?" She smiled.  
  
"Accidents do happen." Shampoo smiled back.  
  
They had gotten into their class earlier than expected. For once in their lives Usagi and Minako were early. Once Makoto and Shampoo had taken their seats they were immediately swarmed by Usagi, Minako and Ami. Minako was the first to speak.  
  
"So tell us how was it?" She asked.  
  
"How was what?" Makoto tried bluffing.  
  
"Having sex with Ranma of course." She replied.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about." Makoto said turning away from them.  
  
"Don't give us that Mako-chan. Both you and Shampoo have those 'I just got laid' happy smiles on, the same as my parents get whenever they get it on so spill." Usagi said with a shudder. It always gave her the creeps when she knew her parents were going at it. She knew that they had to do it for her to be born but they were her parents and it was just wrong.  
  
"My love life is none of your concern." Makoto retorted crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
"What you three did last night has nothing to do with love, now spill." This from the closet voyeur Ami.  
  
"Not telling." Makoto replied sticking her nose in the air.  
  
The three girls rounded on Shampoo next. They were a little less comfortable around her but since Makoto wasn't talking.  
  
"So Shampoo how was Ranma?" Minako asked in a very sweet voice.  
  
Shampoo put her finger to her chin and thought for a moment.  
  
"Him much better than Shampoo ever dream of in too too naughty dreams!" She exclaimed happily. "Cat tongue is rough and..." She stopped there and let them use their perverted minds to fill in the missing information.  
  
"Don't I know it." Said both Usagi and Minako at the same time.  
  
Ami edged just a bit farther away from her weird friends.  
  
Usagi was thinking of how Luna would sometimes lick her face in the morning to get her to wake up.  
  
Minako was thinking exactly what Shampoo was implying.  
  
Artemis suddenly got the strangest feeling that there was a dagger right above his head just waiting to fall. He shrugged it off and went back to his singing. Right now he had a couple of strays outside. Maybe Mrs. Aino would get the message and let him out.  
  
Back at school Ami was going to ask another question but was cut off by the teacher coming into the room. The males in the class gasped and then started drooling. The females except for five of them were glaring daggers at the substitute teacher.  
  
Instead of Ms. Haruna it was Setsuna in a tight business suit; that even though very conservative showed off her curves to a degree that one would have to be blind not to realize that this was a woman. She walked up the front of the class and wrote her name on the board.  
  
"Good morning class. Most of you know me as the schools counselor, but for the next few days I will be your homeroom teacher." She beamed a huge smile over the class. Several guys developed nosebleeds.  
  
Ranma was just getting to class. He had a small accident in the change room that stuck him as a girl for a bit. He really hated the contractors in Juuban. They could fix damage just as fast as the ones in Nerima but their quality of work was severely lacking.  
  
He carefully opened the back door as far as he could without making a sound and started to creep into the class. Just as he was about to take his seat a voice called out from the front of the class.  
  
"Mr. Saotome if you would please tell the class why you are late and not in uniform, I'm sure they'd be happy to hear it." Setsuna said in a stern and commanding voice.  
  
Ranma winced as he heard her speak.  
  
"Umm I'd rather not." He said back.  
  
"Well then I guess you wouldn't mind standing in the hallway then." She said as she gave him a late sign and a no uniform sign that she just happened to be holding. "The buckets are in the closet."  
  
"Alright teacherrr." He purred just to freak her out a bit. She never even flinched.  
  
And so here he was standing in the hallway holding two buckets with two signs hanging off his neck.  
  
'Setsuna sure was happy this morning.' He thought. 'It must have something to do with how tired Walter was.' He shuddered at the though of what she must have done to him to make him that tired.  
  
Eventually he was let back into class and the day progressed normally. Well as normal as was normal for this area of Tokyo. There were a couple of monsters rampaging around that needed to be taken down but they weren't much of a problem. Ranma slept through a couple of classes and Shampoo joined him. That earned the both of them some more hall time.  
  
At last the final bell rung. The students crowded around the exits, frantic to get out of school before the teachers decided to change their minds and keep them in school for a while longer. Surprisingly enough neither Shampoo nor Ranma got detention for their actions during the day. As soon as everybody was outside Makoto started follow her friends heading towards the shrine.  
  
"Hey where are you going?" Ranma asked as he started to follow.  
  
Makoto looked back. "We're going to Rei's shrine. We usually hang out there after school." She said.  
  
"Uhh sure." He said remembering the last time he was at the shrine. "You sure they aren't going to try to kill us or anything?"  
  
"No..." she paused to remember Haruka. "Well Haruka might, just watch out for her."  
  
"The shorthaired tomboy?" Ranma said.  
  
"Yeah but if you call her that she really will try to kill you."  
  
"Well she i...." He was cut off by a monster yelling.  
  
"Die humans." It said while brandishing a wicked set of claws.  
  
"You know somebody should get these things a better scriptwriter they sound worse than, no offense Shampoo, Shampoo." Ranma commented.  
  
"Shampoo no mind. She just wonder if stupid monsters fight better than last ones."  
  
On the other side of the monster Usagi, Ami, and Minako had used Makoto, Ranma and Shampoo's distraction of the monster to slip into an alleyway and change. They were just hiding around the corner watching while Ami scanned the monster.  
  
"Well I've got some good news and some bad news." She said after her scan was finished.  
  
"What's the good news?" Usagi asked. She really didn't need to know the bad news.  
  
"Well the good news is that our magic can hurt it."  
  
"So what's the bad news?" Minako asked.  
  
"Well the bad news is that it's only vulnerable to fire and none of us can do fire."  
  
Minako immediately flipped open her communicator and brought up Rei.  
  
"Great time for Rei to not be here." Usagi said. "Well what we can do is stall it until Rei can get her ass over here."  
  
"I just called her and she's about 10 minutes away." Minako said.  
  
"Looks like we've got some work to do then." Usagi said as she stepped out from the alley. "Streets are for the use of cars... cars.... oh hell I can't think of a speech now maybe later."  
  
"Foolish humans you can't stop the great Zantar. That's with a zed by the way."  
  
"Venus crescent beam smash!" Shouted Venus as she shot off a stream of energy at the monster. It didn't do much.  
  
"Only magical fire can hurt it!" Mercury shouted.  
  
"Yeah I know." She shouted back. "But we need to do something."  
  
Shampoo, Ranma and Makoto had hung back since there was nothing that they could do. Shampoo pulled the stick that Pluto had given her and looked at it again. Makoto saw what she was holding in her hand and her eyes bugged out.  
  
"Where in the hell did you get that?!" She yelled.  
  
"Horny old woman give it to me, when I is in tree hiding. This one forgot all about it." She pulled off the sticky note. "Wonder if it works?" She held the stick in the air and called out.  
  
"Amalthea moon power make up!"  
  
The transformation sequence was traditional senshi.... if one was on acid and smoking crack at the time. Shampoo's clothes flew off her leaving her totally naked for a few seconds while her visibly naked form was posed in various different sexy ways. Then she was covered in a neon plaid colour pattern as she was bounced around, stuffed and jiggled. Finally the disguise magic started up making a sound akin to Venus' Love Me Chainsaw.  
  
When the transformation was complete what stood before them was like no senshi that they had ever seen before. She had a tight black leather bra that was little better than skin. Moving down there was nothing else except for a pair of leather g-string panties that left nothing to the imagination either. On her feet was a pair of high heeled pumps. At her side was a leather whip.  
  
According to Anime Laws she had the highest AC of the group.  
  
Even though he'd seen her in much less Ranma still keeled over with a nosebleed.  
  
"Shampoo feel indecent." She said as she tried to cover herself with her hands.  
  
"Don't worry guys I'm ack!" Mars said as she got a look at the newest senshi... and fell on her face.  
  
The rest of the senshi who had watched her transform were stunned to say the least. Sure their uniforms were revealing but this was just... They thanked their lucky stars that their uniforms were just revealing and not... not... well whatever Shampoo ended up with.  
  
"Umm Amalthea so what's your magic attack?" Makoto was curious to say the least.  
  
"Uhh Magic come forth!" She said while holding out her hands.  
  
A stream of technicolour lights shot from her hand and hit the monster.  
  
There was no effect except the monster suddenly had an urge for a hotdog.  
  
"Stupid magic Shampoo kill. Magic come forth!" She yelled again.  
  
The monster was pelted with a stream of coins.  
  
"Ow hey stop that!" The monster yelled before taking a step towards her.  
  
"All right this is getting stupid." Mars said before walking over to where the monster was.  
  
She made a fist with her thumb on the inside. She then flicked her thumb into a thumbs up position and a small flame like from a cigarette lighter appeared on the end of her thumb. She put the flame under it's butt. It quickly caught fire and burned to a pile of ash in a matter of seconds.  
  
"And so the beautiful Sailor Mars saves the day again." She deadpanned. "I'm going home."  
  
Everybody who was currently transformed stepped into the alley and dropped the transformation.  
  
"Umm how Shampoo go back to normal?" She asked very very eager to get out of this outfit and back to her very concealing school uniform.  
  
"Just think about dropping the transformation." Usagi told her.  
  
She did so but there was a problem.  
  
Her clothing rematerialized around her body but everything was upside down. She had to hold her skirt up to keep her breasts covered, her bra (which Mrs. Saotome insisted on) was around her waist and her panties were situated on her head.  
  
"Shampoo kill horny old womans next time see her."  
  
"Umm I'd appreciate it if you didn't." Commented Minako. "She's kinda usefull."  
  
"Hurt her then?" She said while fixing her uniform.  
  
"Ok just a bit." Usagi said helping Shampoo back into her uniform and getting some feels along the way.  
  
Oh give her a break Mamouru hasn't been around for a while.  
  
When they emerged from the alley Makoto had successfully roused Ranma from his forced slumber and the two of them were going through the pile of coins.  
  
"Hey there's a lot of cash here!" He said happily scooping up handfuls. Not all of it was Japanese. They had made it a game to try and identify the countries that the coins came from.  
  
"Hey money!" Usagi yelled as she dashed over and started filling her pockets.  
  
The rest of the Senshi joined in. They didn't normally get paid for doing their jobs after all. Ranma even took his shirt off much to the enjoyment of all the females present and used it to carry more of the coins.  
  
Eventually they all made it back to the shrine however it was slow going as they were all laden down with lots of metal.  
  
And now for something completely different.  
  
In another district a girl with a helmet style haircut who also loved money was currently in her room working. Of course she wasn't doing homework. Her bed was strewn with various different papers, notes, and photos. Most were of a boy with blond hair and a pigtail, but there were a few of a tall blond girl and a large mansion style house. She grumbled as she kicked herself again for not grabbing Ranma when she had the chance.  
  
"Ok so he's gone blond." She commented to herself "Suits him though much better than black or red."  
  
As soon as Nodoka had left with Ranma, she had gotten to work tracking him down. Finding where he lived was fairly easy as all she had to do was look in a phonebook. The stalking... sorry information gathering was quite a different story however. Ranma seemed to have an uncanny ability to know when he was being watched; she guessed it was a result of the number of ambushes that he got in Nerima. She had only gotten a couple of good pictures of him in the day that she was wandering around Juuban. She also managed to catch a couple of pictures of this Makoto girl. She looked at them mentally comparing herself to this girl.  
  
Makoto was tall for a girl while Nabiki was about average to just a bit above average. Looking further Makoto looked to be in great shape but not in too good shape as to ruin her dangerous curves. Well in that respect Nabiki was a contender as she stayed in shape to keep herself from becoming fat but not to put on too much muscle like her little sister.  
  
From the information that she'd bought from that Umino fellow Makoto was supposed to be a good martial artist, not that she'd be anywhere near Nerima standards of course but still better than she herself could do. The most damning thing that she learned was that Makoto was some master chef somewhere around Kasumi's level of skill.  
  
She dropped her head face first into her mattress. Ranma had two girls after him already that were way better people than her, and without the pledge between the families there was just a bit better than zero chance that she would be able to squeeze herself into his heart. Add to that all of the mean things that she's done to him and that small percent chance dropped to well below zero. Kasumi now she had a chance, it wasn't very good but it was better than she had.  
  
Who was she kidding with Shampoo and Makoto there was no way in hell she'd even stand a chance a normal girl like her.  
  
There was a knock at the door and she had to scramble to stuff all the papers and photos she had under her pillow just incase it was Mr. Saotome or her father. They might get the wrong idea. Or the right one.  
  
When she was sure that all the evidence was hidden she called out.  
  
"Come in!"  
  
The door opened and Kasumi stepped in. She was wearing an old orange housedress with a white apron overtop. Her hair was in a loose ponytail and she had her house slippers on. All in all she looked like she always did but Nabiki was her sister and could immediately tell something was wrong.  
  
"What is it sis?" She asked with some concern.  
  
"It's nothing really. I just came up to tell you that supper will be ready soon." She put on a smile so fake that even Ranma would have noticed that something was wrong. (He would have assumed she was constipated but he would have noticed.)  
  
"Bullshit sis something's bothering you now spill it." She said patting a space on her bed.  
  
Kasumi sat down and stared at the floor for a while before speaking.  
  
"I'm lonely." She said.  
  
"To the point are we? I'm assuming that this has to do with Ranma?"  
  
Kasumi looked at her with a shocked expression on her face. "How did...?" She looked back down at the floor again. "Never mind, that's it exactly." She let out a humorless chuckle. "You know I always thought that Ranma and Akane loved each other, that's why I never interfered when they fought but..." She paused to listen to the destruction coming from the dojo. "It seems Akane is actually happy that he's gone! She's been nothing but smiles since he left!" She almost broke down here. "If I'd only known I'd have taken him and there wouldn't have been a damn thing she could do about it!" A few tears leaked out.  
  
Nabiki had her in a hug faster than you can say 'Oh my'  
  
"Yeah I know. We'd have fought over him though and I know who the better woman would have been." She left out just who that would have been. She then looked at her sister with a serious look on her face. "I guess we could visit him though." She said with an impish smile on her face.  
  
"Wha?" Kasumi said while whipping her head around to look her sister in the eyes.  
  
In response Nabiki only smiled and reached under her pillow and pulled out all of her research. She spread it over the bed to allow Kasumi to look at it. Her eyes widened as she saw exactly what her sister had.  
  
"Oh my!"  
  
"Exactly we may not be in the running anymore but maybe..." She left the statement unfinished implying that maybe they could get back in the running.  
  
Kasumi saw something in the pile that peaked her interest. She darted her hand out and snatched the picture out of the pile before Nabiki could stop her.  
  
"Oh... Oh wow I didn't know you had this!" Kasumi was blushing as she looked at the photo.  
  
It was one of the older photos of Ranma from a while back. It was hot that night and unbeknownst to his father Ranma had decided to go to bed au natural. In the morning he had tossed his son out the window to spar with him. In his sleep addled mind Ranma had forgotten that he was buck naked until Akane had clobbered him for being a 'pervert'. She never knew that Nabiki had been able to snap a picture.  
  
"I want a copy of this." Kasumi stated flatly indicating that this was not a request but a statement of fact.  
  
"Uhh sure, it'll take me a bit to make a copy of it though." In truth she already had 10 copies made up. They were not for sale though.  
  
Suddenly the door swung open. Kasumi quickly hid the picture of Ranma in her apron while Nabiki was scrambling to clean up the papers off her bed. She had cleaned up most of them when Genma walked into the room. Nabiki scowled at Genma's audacity to just walk into HER room without knocking.  
  
"Uhh Kasumi your food was burning so I turned it off." He said looking around the room like he was casing the place to clean it out. "I also overheard Akane say that she wanted to help in the kitchen."  
  
"Oh my god I've got to save supper!" Kasumi said as she dashed out of the room and down the stairs. Some of the papers and photos on the bed were sucked off the bed in her wake. They landed on the floor and were quickly gathered up by Nabiki.  
  
Genma just turned around and walked out of the room. Nabiki was looking at his back and never saw him smile as he held onto a piece of paper that he had swiped from right under her nose. His disobedient son needed to be brought in line soon before his mother corrupted him. If he didn't his and Tendo's dream of uniting the schools would be gone forever. He needed to be told that his proper fiancée was a Tendo not some gaigin slut or some girl that his mother picked out. Come on women don't know what kind of woman would be right for him. Sure Akane couldn't cook, fight, sew, or do pretty much any of the female arts, that and the fact that she seemed to actively dislike him just meant that they were perfect for each other.  
  
He would have to go on a little trip to Juuban tomorrow.  
  
Remember intelligence is not his strong point.  
  
And now back to our regularly scheduled program.  
  
The outers and the cats were already waiting at the shrine when the inners along with Ranma and Shampoo came trudging up the stairs. All of them had bulges all over their bodies and Ranma had something heavy in his shirt which was slung over his left shoulder. Luna and Artemis hid since they still weren't sure about Ranma or this Shampoo person that was with them.  
  
"So what's up?" Haruka called out.  
  
"Attacked... Monster... Money." Huffed Usagi. She was designed for speed to be able to run to school on time, she didn't have the strength or stamina to carry heavy weights for any length of time.  
  
"So you were attacked by a monster made of money and now you've got lots of loot. Damn it why don't we ever get monsters like that!" Said Hotaru.  
  
"Hotaru don't swear." Mirichu said in a slightly reprimanding voice.  
  
"Then raise my allowance." She deadpanned.  
  
"No."  
  
"Fuck."  
  
"Where are you getting it from?"  
  
"Luna says it all the time." She said with a shrug.  
  
"I think my violin bow needs some new strings." She said with a scowl marring her face. "Oh Luna we need to talk about something." She said in a sweet voice as she took off to try and find Luna.  
  
"Don't hurt her too much Diana still needs to be born." Chibi Usa called out.  
  
"I'm going inside." Rei said as she trudged towards the shrine doors.  
  
"Yeah sure." Makoto said and moved to follow.  
  
The rest of the scouts moved to follow Rei into the shrine. Eventually Usagi was the only one left outside. This was because when she stopped she lost her momentum and she was too tired to start up again.  
  
"Medic." She whimpered before she fell over.  
  
Inside the shrine Rei went to her room to drop off her load. Everybody else that was carrying money dropped to the floor and started unloading their stashes. A few minutes later Mirichu came in dragging a semi conscious Usagi who was leaving a trail of coins in her wake. Chibi Usa was following behind picking up the coins that her future mother was dropping. When she got back to the future these would be over a thousand years old and worth a fortune for collectors.  
  
Artemis padded in behind Chibi Usa and was looking around at the people gathered there. Minako had told him about Ranma and Shampoo but he had never met them since the last time they were here they were busy trying to kill Makoto. He noticed the only male in the room and assumed that he was this Ranma fellow. He also remembered that he was a werecat too. Maybe he could talk Minako into ungrounding him, a voice from the male species and all that.  
  
"Us guys gotta stick together after all."  
  
Artemis walked over to where Ranma was sitting. Ranma had his head down sorting through his large pile of coins.  
  
"Hey there. Ranma is it? Hi I'm Artemis." He said while holding out his paw in a friendly gesture expecting him to reach out and shake it.  
  
Of course the best laid plans often do not survive contact with reality. Ranma looked up to see where the voice had come from and he came face to fuzzy face with his worst nightmare.  
  
"C...c....c...CAT!" Ranma screamed as he jumped up and dashed over to the wall.  
  
"Uhh yeah last time I checked why." He looked behind him to check to see if his tail was still there.  
  
Makoto and Shampoo's heads both snapped up when they heard Ranma scream. Shampoo quickly ran over to where Ranma was cowering in the corner and dragged him outside. When Ranma was safely outside Artemis finally got the nerve to speak up again.  
  
"Is it just me or was that extremely weird."  
  
Everybody turned towards Makoto for an explanation.  
  
"Umm... well.... you see." She stuttered.  
  
The door opened and a shirtless werecheetah stepped through with Shampoo at his side.  
  
"When I was six my stupid pop got it in hisss head to teach me the neko ken. You dig a deep pit and toss some cats in. Let them starrrve for a few days to get them good and mean. Tie the trrrrainee in fish and toss them in the pit." He paused to let this sink in. "I was six at the time and he had to thrrrow me in five times before I snapped." He sat down again in front of his pile. He looked at where Artemis was sitting. "Whenever a cat is nearrr me I frrreak out like you saw earrrlier."  
  
"But you're not scared of me now. Why's that?" Artemis asked.  
  
"Well turrrns out that when I'm in my hybrrid forrrm I'm not afrrraid of felines." He reached over and started petting Artemis. "Although the rrrolling of my rrr's is annoying."  
  
Ranma was getting slightly uncomfortable with their line of questioning and decided to change the subject. Figuring that Shampoo would forgive him he decided to pick on her.  
  
"Hey Shampoo what was up with that Sailorrr scout thing?" He called over.  
  
"Shampoo no know what you talking about." She had of course blocked the entire horrible experience from her mind.  
  
"Sailor scout?" Asked Haruka as she looked over towards the purple haired girl.  
  
"Yeah it was really cool too. She had on a small leather bikini and called herself Amalthea, but her magic wasn't working right but then she made all these coins and I can go get ice cream now and hey wait I'm missing coins!" Usagi said in one breath run on sentences be damned.  
  
"Umm so you're Sailor Amalthea? It's not any planet that I know of." Rei said as she tried to forget the tight uniform that hid nothing. She got a slight nosebleed just from thinking of it.  
  
"Actually it's not a planet, it's a moon of Jupiter. Well calling it a moon would be pushing it, It's actually just a large chunk of rock in a semi erratic orbit around Jupiter." Ami the brain strikes again.  
  
"Could you transform, I wanna see it." Said Hotaru mirroring her parents thoughts.  
  
"Shampoo no want to!"  
  
"Come on Shampoo if your magics broken maybe the transformation is too?" Makoto offered.  
  
"Fine but Shampoo still hurt horny old womans." She said as she pulled out her henshin rod.  
  
"Amalthea moon power make up!"  
  
It wasn't the same transformation sequence as before. This time her clothes exploded (literally) off her body, little scraps of cloth fluttering all over the room. The magic kicked in sounding this time like a turbine winding up. When everything was done the costume wasn't the same as before.  
  
Playboy bunny girl.  
  
Shampoo quickly dropped the transformation and tried again.  
  
Cat girl.  
  
Again.  
  
Can Can girl.  
  
Again  
  
Dominatrix outfit.  
  
"Shampoo think she stop while she ahead."  
  
"Uhh yeah I guess so." Haruka said while staring.  
  
She received a smack upside the head from her partner for her lecherous ways.  
  
When she dropped the transformation for the last time her clothes did not reform. Ergo she was left standing buck naked in the middle of the floor. She tried covering herself but not before they saw that she was naturally purple. Makoto already knew this as she had to pull some purple hair from her teeth this morning.  
  
"Come on we'll get you something to wear." Rei said as she led Shampoo away hoping that they wouldn't run into her grandpa on the way back to her room.  
  
The room fell into an uncomfortable silence as nobody really commenting on it but all of them wanting too. Eventually Shampoo and Rei came back with Shampoo wearing one of Rei's shrine maiden outfits. On Rei it was a bit baggy but on Shampoo it was a little tight.  
  
"So you interested in sparring sometime?" Haruka asked Ranma trying to break the silence.  
  
"Umm no."  
  
This was apparently the wrong answer.  
  
"What I'm not good enough!" She shouted.  
  
"Uhh no." He said as he fidgeted slightly under her gaze.  
  
"Actually Ranma I'd like to see that fight." Makoto noted absently.  
  
"Not you too?" He said a little betrayed that she would sell him out so easily.  
  
"Oh don't worry you won't break Sailor Uranus that easily." She said aloud. In her mind however she was making a list of things that she would need to capture the moment of Haruka getting her ass royally thrashed.  
  
"Alright outside right now!" She said as she grabbed her henshin rod from subspace.  
  
"Uhh ok I uhh guess." He said as he stood up. Haruka was taken aback as he towered over her by a good foot and a bit.  
  
She gulped down her fear and reminded herself that this was just a friendly sparring match. She looked back at Mirichu and Hotaru. Mirichu had a small flag that had the symbol of Uranus on it and Hotaru had a big novelty foam hand with a #1 on it. She felt confidence that her family was behind her. She turned towards the door, raised her henshin rod in the air and called out her transformation phrase. A few seconds later Sailor Uranus was ready to rock and roll.  
  
"Let do it." She said as she jumped out the door into the back yard of the shrine.  
  
Ranma followed at a slower pace as his pants were constricting even though Shampoo had cut down the sides so that they wouldn't tear when he changed. They were still tight though.  
  
"Hold up a second." He said as he undid his pants and stepped out of them. He was clad in fur and boxer shorts. Many of the girls there started to feel a little... flushed. Not all of them were human either.  
  
Of course since Haruka was a 100% rug muncher that much male flesh/fur didn't affect her at all.  
  
"Much better." He stretched his muscles rippling under his skin. "Ready." He said as he fell into a defensive stance.  
  
Haruka took him up on his offer and assumed an offensive stance based on mobility and speed. Makoto walked up between the two of them and raised her hand in the air.  
  
"Alright this is just a friendly sparring match the rules are as follows. One, there are to be NO killing or maiming blows. Two there will be no energy attacks magical or otherwise." She looked directly at Uranus when she said this. "Three this is strictly martial arts no real weapons." She waited till this sunk in. "All right Let's get it on." She said as she dropped her arm and jumped out of the way.  
  
Haruka rushed in quickly feinting to the left then lashing out with a vicious roundhouse... which was caught in his right hand. Of course his feet slid back from the force of the kick. He compensated and stopped his slide. Tightening his hold on her ankle he tossed her towards the boundary wall.  
  
She screamed and impacted the wall with her back. She bounced off and fell to her knees. There was a spiderweb of cracks on the wall where she hit. She shook her head and got to her feet, if a little shaky.  
  
"Hey you're fixing that!" Rei yelled.  
  
When Haruka had gotten her balance back she charged back in but she was more cautious this time. When she was in striking range she noted that Ranma was still in a defensive stance even though with his longer reach he could strike and she wouldn't be able to touch him. Well if he was going to patronize her she'd show him the error of his ways.  
  
When she got well within striking range she feinted with a straight punch which Ranma deflected easily. The punch was only a feighnt for her real attack which was a quick jab with her left knee to his groin.  
  
Ranma's eyes widened as he realized he fell for her dirty trick. It was one his pop used quite often when Ranma had hit puberty. He quickly shot his right hand down to try and deflect her knee.  
  
He was so close.  
  
Of course close only counts in horseshoes and handgernades.  
  
It wasn't a full sack but it was enough to break his defense for half a second. Half a second was all she needed to throw a massive uppercut right at his jaw. He was tossed back several yards where he landed on his back. He rolled with the blow coming back up to his feet.  
  
"Alright playtimes over!" He roared.  
  
Quicker than she could blink he was in her face punching and kicking. It was all she could do to protect her face. Sooner than she would have thought it ended. She was sore all over. The last time she felt this bad was that time that one of those generic monsters threw her through that reinforced brick wall. Their outfits could soak up a schwack of damage. She wondered what the Sailor Mercury was thinking when she made the lycanthropic races. If she didn't build in the magic/silver weakness they'd be damn near unstoppable.  
  
Of course philosophy of a head injury is the second best kind of philosophy.  
  
Ranma was just standing there clutching himself when an ofuda streaked out of nowhere and stuck to Ranma's forehead.  
  
"What the hell?" He said as he reached up and pulled it off his head.  
  
"So monster you're strong enough to withstand my ward!" Grandpa Hino shouted. He put his hands in his sleeves. "Then try this on for size. Shinto supreme ward storm!" He shouted.  
  
Hundreds of wards shot forth from his sleeves. The wards started circling Ranma at a furious pace. he tried swiping them out of the air. For every ward he tore in half three took it's place. Slowly the wards started converging, some of them jumping out of the swarm and clinging to his body. During this time Haruka used the distraction to slip away. When the swarm had almost completely obscured Ranma from view grandpa Hino violently brought his hands together. The swarm suddenly shot towards where Ranma was standing. Within the blink of an eye he was covered head to toe in wards. He struggled a bit but the charged wards held fast.  
  
"Ha take that you demonic werecreature!" Grandpa crowed.  
  
Suddenly he felt a tap on the top of his head. He looked up into the scowling faces of Makoto and Shampoo.  
  
"What can this humble priest do for you two young and lovely ladies today?" He smiled as he stared at their breasts. Rei sure had some cute friends.  
  
Of course unlike Happosai grandpa Hino knew his chances against these girls.  
  
"Let him go." Makoto said simply.  
  
"But he's a were creature! He must be destroyed! The movies all say so!"  
  
Makoto looked at him with her big innocent eyes.  
  
"You've known me for a few years now am I evil?"  
  
"No you're not evil." He pulled out a little wooden box that he showed to them. "This is the shrine's evil detector." On the box were two words good and evil and there was a needle. Currently the box was pointing at Shampoo and the needle was wavering on good.  
  
He was staring down at the box and moved it over to where Makoto was standing. The needle moved a bit farther over to good.  
  
"See even the box says you'..." He looked up to where he thought Makoto's face would be. He had to look up a foot and a bit more and around two large bumps in her dress. His eyes widened as he saw the ears, eyes, tail and most important the FUR that now covered her.  
  
"Ma... Makoto how, when, why, WHO?" He stuttered.  
  
"Well starting off from the beginning, how do you think, Since I was born, because the universe thought it would be funny, and this is Shampoo of the Joketzu amazons and the guy you just wrapped up is our shared husband/boyfriend who I would appreciate you letting go before Shampoo here snaps."  
  
Shampoo pulled out her favorite silvered Tai Chi sword. She had managed to sneak it out of the weapons cabinet this morning when Mrs. Saotome and her great grandmother were suffering from their hangovers. She held it out to her side blade out. She tensed all of her muscles and started shaking a little bit.  
  
"Better hurry she's getting mad now." Makoto said nonchalantly while extending and retracting her claws.  
  
Grandpa Hino was transfixed by the sight of Shampoo jiggling... I mean shaking with rage. He quickly reached into his robes and pulled out a blue diamond shaped pill and popped it in his mouth. Shampoo had started to shake harder, Her dress started to rip in places where she was flexing her muscles.  
  
"I'd hurry or she's going to go hulk on your ass grandpa." Makoto said leaving her claws out.  
  
The wards dropped to the ground like leaves from a tree.  
  
Mr. Hino scampered behind Rei and hid behind her.  
  
"Rei you'll protect your old grandpa won't you?"  
  
"Forget it gramps."  
  
"S'all right." Ranma called out from where he was standing. "I'm fine no need to quarterrr the old guy."  
  
"Airen!" Shampoo said as she bounced over and molded herself to his side.  
  
As Shampoo was purring against Ranma's side another semi feline was prowling between his legs. Luna had watched Ranma as he fought Haruka. Unknown to the girls, and to Ranma himself, when he transformed he let off tons of male pheromones. When he changed into a girl it was female pheromones. It was the same for Makoto. Good thing it only worked on cats or they'd be in trouble.  
  
Luna stopped about a foot away from where Ranma was standing. Her front legs were compressed, her back arched, and her hind legs were ramrod straight. Her tail was standing proud like a flagpole in the air.  
  
"Luna you slut!" This from the peanut gallery.  
  
That snapped Luna out of her hormone induced haze. Well at least a little. She quickly scampered away from Ranma and hid behind Usagi.  
  
Makoto just couldn't resist ribbing Luna a bit.  
  
"Oh come on Luna why would he be satisfied with such a small kitty like you..."  
  
She struck an extremely sexy pose with her right hand behind her head, her chest stuck out as far as it would go the material on her shirt giving protest the built in splits threatened to burst wide open if she took a deep breath, Her left arm was cocked back to her side like when she was transforming, finally her legs were splayed apart pulling her skirt tight against her bottom. Grandpa Hino, Ranma, Mirichu, Haruka who was hiding in the surrounding trees, Hotaru, Shampoo, and Rei all developed simultaneous nosebleeds.  
  
"when he can have a big Pussy... cat like me."  
  
"I'd like a big pussy cat like you." Artemis said as he rubbed himself against her legs.  
  
"Ack!" Makoto said as she jumped away from the perverted cat. She shifted back to her human form hoping that would provide some protection.  
  
Turning to Ranma and Makoto grandpa Hino spoke "Well as long as you're not doing anything evil there's no reason for me to be here" He turned to go. "I'll just let you go back to your secret sailor scout meeting now." Mr. Hino said as he shuffled off. Knowing that the werecats weren't here to cause evil there was nothing left for him to do.  
  
Now off to ogle the young girls that had just walked up the shrine steps.  
  
"Damn it does everybody know we're the Sailor Scouts!" Usagi shouted.  
  
"Well just my mom, Cologne, Walterrr and Shampoo." - Ranma  
  
"Grandpa knows because he caught me transforming once." - Rei  
  
"Well my parents don't know." This from Minako.  
  
"Ahh well you see, your mom kinda stepped on my tail once and well you know." Said Artemis as he moved behind Makoto hoping she'll protect him.  
  
"Artemis I can't believe you! Weren't you always telling me the importance of keeping our identities secret from everyone!"  
  
"Yeah but she gave me cream, I mean real cream with vodka."  
  
"Never could hold his liquor." Luna commented from behind Usagi.  
  
"So mom got you all shit faced and you go and blab everything!" Minako was seriously thinking about a cat fur hat.  
  
"Pretty much." He said.  
  
"Get back here you!" Minako yelled as she charged where Artemis was hiding.  
  
"Makoto my love kitty protect me!"  
  
"Sorry Romeo, this kitty cat already has two studs to keep her happy." Makoto said as she walked away leaving a stunned Artemis behind.  
  
"Two?"  
  
Unfortunately he never got to finish that thought as Minako tackled him so that he couldn't get away.  
  
"Well at least my cat isn't a blabbermouth." Usagi said proudly crossing her arms underneath her breasts and lifting her nose in the air in a haughty manor.  
  
"Umm well..." Luna started.  
  
Usagi whipped around glaring at Luna.  
  
"What! You told her!" Usagi shouted.  
  
"You talk in your sleep!" Luna countered avoiding the fact that she also talked in her sleep. "You also toss around and snore like a buzzsaw."  
  
"I..." She was left speechless.  
  
"Besides only your mother knows. She's very proud of her daughter."  
  
"Mom... mom's proud of me?" She replied stunned.  
  
"Yes; knowing her daughter is going to be ruler of the world is a lot better than what she thought you were going to do."  
  
Usagi was brought out of her reverie. She looked down at Luna.  
  
"Yeah she thought that you'd be a good paperweight or if you were really ambitious a top quality doorstop." Luna said with pride.  
  
"Wahhh, my mother doesn't believe in my abilities!" Usagi wailed.  
  
The rest of the meeting was spent with Usagi and Ranma eating, Usagi trying to steal Rei's manga, and the cat's getting reamed out by their owners. Typical meeting. Not surprising enough Setsuna never showed up. Almost like she could see into the future or something.  
  
The scene pulls out and shifts.  
  
In a dark cavern that hasn't seen the light of day for millennia a shadowy figure sits on a throne. Faceless minions mill about chanting something in an evil sounding language.  
  
The woman on the throne smiles as she takes a sip of her wine.  
  
Authors notes:  
  
Yet another chapter done. For some reason I'm able to write 25+ pages for this story but struggle with 20 for Cat's Tale. Weird. I have finally introduced the broken sailor scouts. I've got a couple more in mind. I seem to have lost my prereader. If anybody's interested in the job contact me at  
  
nealharris@otakumail.com  
  
PS: Thanks to all that have sent me feedback in one form or another. I really appreciate it. 


	6. Chapter 6

Deees claimer  
  
The following is an original creation using characters and situations that are owned by large animation firms that will sue me blind if I don't put in this disclaimer that Ranma, Sailor Moon, and Gold Diggers are owned by other people.  
  
Chapter 6: Tea with Cthulu  
  
The next morning Ranma woke up framed by a purring Makoto and Shampoo. Makoto had taken to sleeping in her hybrid form. She said that it felt natural to her even though she'd only had a few days to get used to it. Since Makoto was in her hybrid form he had to sleep in his hybrid form as well. That they didn't have sex last night something that Ranma was very grateful for. He didn't know if he could take too many of those 'sparring' sessions before he keeled over. Looking to his right then to the left, he wondered how such a thing could have happened that he would go from three fiancées down to two. Add to that the fact that Makoto had only known him for a couple of days and she had already jumped in the sack with him and done a fair bit of horizontal tangoing. Shampoo he could understand, she'd known him longer and even back in Nerima she'd tried jumping him several times.  
  
Looking at his clock on the nightstand he noted that it was time to get up. This proved to be more difficult than he first suspected as both Shampoo and Makoto were so intertwined with him that every time he tried to get free he had to move an arm or a leg that was preventing him from moving. Problem was that every time he disentangled himself from one girl and went to work on the other, the girl that he had gotten free of would wrap herself around him again. It seemed to be a loosing battle until his mother popped her head into his room. She was also in her hybrid form.  
  
"Aren't you three up yet?" She said with a smile.  
  
"Umm I can't seem to get frrree." Ranma said sheepishly trying to either spontaneously combust or turn invisible.  
  
"Here let me give you a hand." She said as she walked over to the large bay windows that were in his room. She threw the windows open and took a huge breath of air.  
  
"It seems like it's going to be a wonderful day." She commented to no one in particular as she walked over to the side of the bed opposite of the window.  
  
"Umm mom what arrre you doing." Ranma said nervously.  
  
"Hmm." She said with a smile as she grabbed the edge of the bed sheets with both her hands.  
  
"Mommy!" Ranma squeaked as he all of a sudden figured out just how they were going to be woken up.  
  
"All hands on deck!" She shouted as she flipped the sheet and all of the occupants out the window.  
  
As soon as they were out the window Shampoo was wide awake. Fifteen years of training allowed her body to automatically wake up and right herself when she suddenly attained flight. For a while it was her great grandmother's favorite way of waking her up in the morning when she started going through puberty and was difficult to wake up. She looked down to see where she was going to land.  
  
Water  
  
Why did it always have to be water?  
  
For Ranma the story was pretty much the same. His old man used to toss him out of the Tendo's guest room on a daily basis for training. Unlucky for him he had 110 kilos of Makoto to keep safe. He quickly pulled her still sleeping form from his side into his arms. A quick look to the side confirmed that Shampoo didn't need saving. He looked down at his landing zone.  
  
Water.  
  
The story of his life.  
  
Splashdown.  
  
The pool was surprisingly deep for its size. Since Ranma and Makoto combined were quite heavy they went right to the bottom. Ranma of course changed into a girl as soon as he hit the water. Shampoo's night clothes were floating on top of the water with an irritated wet cat treading water beside them. The curse really sucked sometimes.  
  
There was a sudden waterspout as two wet female were cheetahs burst out of the pool. Ranma quickly put the now sputtering Makoto on her side so that she could spit up the water that she inhaled. His mother was standing at the window looking down at her now female son. She was grinning like a mad woman. Because of her recent stunt he was seriously considering the funny farm for his old lady. Well no not a farm she'd tend to eat the other animals. Maybe a funny zoo.  
  
"What the hell werrre you thinking Makoto could have drrrowned!" He shouted up at his crazy mother.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about son. Unless it's silver or magic it can't kill us! Now get dried off breakfast is ready."  
  
Sure enough as soon as she turned away from the window he felt a large hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw that, other than looking like a drowned cat, Makoto was just fine. Looking over to the pool he saw Shampoo in her cat form pulling her soaked clothes out of the pool.  
  
"You ok Shampoo?" Makoto asked.  
  
She was answered by a sneeze and a pitiful meow from the small cat.  
  
"I guess we'd better get cleaned up." Ranma said as he scooped Shampoo into her arms and she proceeded to the furo area.  
  
After they had finished cleaning up and switching back to their proper species/gender, they went to get dressed. Ranma noted that a few of his new uniforms had the Velcro tear zones in them. He wondered if any of his normal clothes had been altered yet.  
  
Breakfast that morning was an interesting affair. Cologne looked much better than she did yesterday, which basically meant that she merely had the shadow of death hovering over her instead of looking like death warmed over. The shadow waved at them then walked off. Her hair was dyed a dark blue, a couple of shades darker than when she was younger. The piercings were all gone now (well the ones people could see as she was still kind of partial to the nipple ring.) She still wore the Sailor Moon baby doll T-shirt. Makoto decided that after school today she'd try to find the elder a Sailor Jupiter T-shirt or get one made. If Ranma, Shampoo and herself got married they'd be family, in a weird twisted sort of way.  
  
Nodoka who had switched back to her human form looked at the clock.  
  
"Don't you think it's time you got going to school?" She asked.  
  
Her response was three empty seats.  
  
"And don't you think you should be getting to work yourself?"  
  
"Oh I don't work today. I took the day off. Too many important things to do." She responded calmly taking a sip of her tea.  
  
"Like?"  
  
"Beauty spa. I've got to keep my young looks somehow."  
  
"Maybe I should join you, I'm not feeling as young as I used to you know." Cologne said flipping her hair back.  
  
The shadow of death walked past again playing a gameboy. It stopped to look at the elder. It checked its watch then went back to playing its game.  
  
Nodoka wisely chose to not make any comments about the fact that a belt sander would not be able to sand out all the wrinkles in her skin. She also was barely able to resist the urge to say that there was not enough mud on the planet to fix her up.  
  
Many people think that Ranma got his foot in mouth disease from his father, when in reality it was his mother who was the parent with the real affliction. It was just that she'd learned to hold her tongue with time and much practice.  
  
The walk to school was pretty uneventful. There were no monsters jumping out of the woodwork to try and steal peoples, heart crystals, heart sparkles, energy, or underwear. As usual Ranma was framed by his girlfriend and wife. Normally having a girlfriend and a wife at the same time is called adultery, but this is Ranma so having a wife that was also cheating on him with his girlfriend was pretty much par for the course.  
  
When they got to school they went up to their homeroom. Ami was sitting there reading a book as usual. She looked up when they came into the classroom and waved them over.  
  
"I see you guys had a good nights rest last night." She said with a hint of a smile on her face.  
  
Ranma and Makoto turned blood red with embarrassment. Shampoo of course failed to catch the innuendo.  
  
"We just slept together!" Ranma shouted.  
  
All of the students in the class turned as one and stared at Ranma. They boys were fuming that he got to nail two hot chicks like Makoto and Shampoo. The girls were fuming because he nailed Shampoo and Makoto and not them. Ranma of course just wished that he could turn invisible. Wait a sec he could turn invisible.  
  
"Goshin Dai Ryuu Sei Fu."  
  
When he vanished the entire class including Makoto gasped in shock. The only one who wasn't surprised was Shampoo since she'd seen this little trick before. The students who were used to magical warriors from a long dead kingdom running around turned back to something much more important. Their gazes turned towards Shampoo and Makoto.  
  
Makoto had enough of this. "We just slept in the same bed. Nothing happened just sleep."  
  
"Until crazy mother throw into pool."  
  
"You had sex in the pool?" One brave student said.  
  
"No have sex in pool." It could be done but it would be quite difficult especially since she didn't feel like trying to do it all as cats.  
  
She'd have to suggest that for next time.  
  
With that most of the students went back to what they were doing before. Only a few of the students were paying any attention to the group.  
  
The door to the classroom flew open and Usagi rushed in just ahead of Minako. She tripped over her own feet and achieved flight for a few seconds before she was grabbed out of the air, floated over and set in her seat. She looked around but couldn't see anybody near her.  
  
"Thanks." She said to her unknown helper.  
  
There was no response since Ranma had moved back over to be beside Makoto.  
  
A few seconds later the Setsuna came into the room. Students scrambled to their seats. She started the roll call.  
  
"Saotome Ranma?" She called out. Even without her time sense she knew that he wasn't there because he wasn't in his seat.  
  
"Here!" His disembodied voice called out.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm right here." He said again, this time dropping the technique and fading into view again.  
  
Setsuna was shocked at his casual display of the Saotome forbidden techniques. She was aware that he knew them but to see him using them was something altogether different. She wondered if he'd be willing to teach the Umi sen Ken to the scouts as the main purpose of it was defense and stealth. This was an area that the scouts sorely lacked in especially Usagi with her 'hey we're here to kick your ass; now lay down and die' speeches.  
  
"Alright you hosers we've got lots of work to do today so let's get to it, eh."  
  
She really shouldn't have watched Strange Brew last night.  
  
The rest of the day went pretty much the same as the previous day except there were no monsters rampaging this time. Setsuna and the other teachers tried to shove information into the youngsters heads and they tried to resist as much as possible. Somehow Shampoo and Ranma only got sent into the hall once for sleeping in class.  
  
At lunch the entire group including Setsuna gathered around a tree to eat. Setsuna was the first to speak up.  
  
"Alright I've got some videos for sale here." She announced to the gathered group. "Only 5000 yen each."  
  
"And just why would we want a porn video of you and Walter?" Makoto asked.  
  
"Why Mako-chan this is of YOUR first romp on the wild side. Hell if I could sell this to the media I'd make a fortune! It's got everything in it.  
  
Male/Female Male/Female/Female Female/Female/Female Male/Female/Sort of Bestiality Male Beast/Female/Female Beast  
  
Hell the only thing you three didn't do was all cats, but they can watch that kind of stuff on the nature channel."  
  
"I'll buy one!" This was from Minako.  
  
"I'll take one as well!" Ami  
  
"I'll take two!" Usagi said. She would give the second to Rei.  
  
"Shampoo as well! Wait Shampoo there she no need copy!" Even though she was secure with her sexuality didn't mean that she was willing to show off that sexuality to her sort of friends/allies.  
  
"Shampoo kill!" She yelled as she pulled a buster sword from somewhere. Nobody wanted to know exactly where she was hiding a sword bigger than herself on her person.  
  
"Now wait a minute Shampoo you promised you wouldn't kill her." Usagi stated calmly.  
  
"Shampoo forgot sorry." She said lowering the buster sword to the ground.  
  
"Shampoo hurt!" She yelled as she took a 'non lethal' swipe at the seated Setsuna.  
  
Setsuna rolled to the side to dodge the swipe. She then back flipped to her feet to avoid the follow up swipe and then took off running with an irate Shampoo hot on her heels.  
  
"You know there were days that I wanted to do that." Usagi said as she took a bite of her food.  
  
There was some head nodding from the other three girls, as they too had thought of doing something evil to the Senshi of Pluto because of her vague half answers and annoyingly mysterious ways.  
  
"Yeah but I don't think I could swing that buster sword unless I was transformed." Ami commented watching Shampoo and Setsuna rush past again. Shampoo was swinging the large happy instrument of death like it was a normal broadsword.  
  
Several males, that were thinking of asking Shampoo out even though she was with Ranma, decided to back off when they saw her cut through the boundary wall with one swipe then kept going.  
  
"Just how strong is she anyway?" Usagi said as she and Ranma unconsciously started on Setsuna's lunch.  
  
"She's pretty strong. Until recently her favorite way of getting into a place was through the wall." Ranma said as he munched on a bit of tuna. He'd have to ask Setsuna to share the recipe with Makoto.  
  
"You mean she used to break down walls for fun?" Makoto said while getting into the action of eating Setsuna's lunch. Yummy tuna!  
  
"Yeah but the old ghoul got her out of doing that quickly since all of the bills for the damage came to the cat cafe." Ranma said grabbing a bit more tuna. He'd have to remember to get some tuna after school today.  
  
Shampoo ran past the group again yelling not death threats towards Setsuna. As for Setsuna she was not actually hurt per se however she was down a few articles of clothing. Currently she was running around in just her blouse and panties. Upon closer inspection one could see the image of Tuxedo mask on the back of her panties.  
  
"Hey wait a minute!" Usagi screamed.  
  
Shampoo was shocked when Usagi grabbed her sword from her hand then shoved her to the side. Shampoo rolled with the hit and watched as Usagi started chasing Setsuna around.  
  
"Come back here you whore!"  
  
Of course since Usagi wasn't anywhere near as strong as Shampoo she wasn't able to swing the sword or even lift it. In her mad-on state all she was able to do was drag the sword on the ground. Setsuna was able to get away and teleport back to her house for a quick change of clothes then back to school.  
  
"Well that was interesting." Setsuna said as she sat back down in her seat. Her new business suit looked perfect, almost exactly the same as the one that was destroyed by Shampoo.  
  
"Um Setsuna you do know that the shadow of death is hanging over your shoulder." Minako pointed out helpfully.  
  
Setsuna looked over her shoulder and came face to crotch with a nondescript figure in a long black hooded cloak holding a scythe. The figure raised its arm revealing a gleaming white bony hand from inside the sleeve. The figure pointed one of its bony fingers directly at Setsuna.  
  
"Oh him. That's just Jimmy the grim spectre of death." She looked him in the 'face' and said. "No you can not take my life." Jimmy pointed at Ranma. "No you can't have him either." He made some hand gestures. "Yeah sure I'm still up for poker this Saturday. You bringing the beer?" She said. He responded by a few more gestures. "What do you mean it's my turn?! I brought the last two times!" Death jiggled its hand and scythe a bit. "Yes I did just get laid recently although that's none of your business." Ranma edged closer to Makoto when she said this. The figure made a couple more gestures before walking away. A small cat that went to rub up against its legs dropped dead.  
  
"Umm Setsuna do we really want to know why death is after you?" Minako asked.  
  
"Oh him. Every twenty years or so he drops by and asks if he can take my soul to the afterlife. Of course since I've still got things to do I always say no." She reached over for her lunch. It was... lighter than she remembered it to be. "My lunch!" She yelled looking directly at Ranma when she said this.  
  
"Oh sure your lunch gets eaten and automatically you blame Ranma." He said while rolling his eyes.  
  
"You've got tuna breath kitty." She responded, with a half lidded expression.  
  
Ranma blushed at being caught.  
  
"Ranma you really shouldn't eat other people's lunches you know." Makoto admonished him.  
  
"You're calling the kettle black, fuzzy." Setsuna said turning her gaze on Makoto. "You still have some tuna on your chin."  
  
Makoto's hand immediately went to her chin to wipe away the imaginary piece of tuna. She blushed and turned away knowing that she'd just been busted.  
  
Of course by this time Shampoo and Usagi had gotten tired of trying to find the runaway teacher and had returned to the tree to see Setsuna calmly sitting with the others talking with them. Shampoo stomped up to Setsuna. Before she could make her proclamation Setsuna beat her to the punch. She held up a slip of paper in her left hand. It had the word detention on it in nice big red letters.  
  
"I expect to see you after school in the detention room."  
  
"Shampoo still hurt." She said while raising her buster sword.  
  
"You'll have detention till the end of the school year if you do."  
  
The war to hurt Pervert senshi vs detention for a year that was going on in Shampoo's head was raging full on when Makoto appeared beside her and laid a hand on her shoulder. A simple shake of her co-wife's head was all it took to tip the scales in favor of letting the horny old woman go.  
  
"Shampoo stand down." Of course if Sailor Amalthea decided to get into the action and accidentally pelt Pluto with coins... well as Uranus proved 'accidents' do happen.  
  
Just as Usagi was going to get into the action the bell rung signaling that classes were going to start soon. Setsuna just stood up and brushed the grass off of her dress.  
  
"Alright back to class everybody." She said cheerfully as if she wasn't in mortal danger just a few minutes prior.  
  
The rest of the group just sat there for a few minutes after she left just staring at where she walked off to.  
  
Then the late bell rung and all of them grabbed their stuff and dashed off to class.  
  
Up in the tree where nobody could see him, Genma was hiding using most of his stealth techniques to stay hidden and undetected. He knew that the little girls would never notice him; however the boy or his gaijin slut girlfriend of his would be able to spot him almost instantly if he slacked off in his techniques for only a second. He was certain of it now, his son had to be taken away from his mother and these weak girls and back to his rightful fiancée or else he would get soft. With his mind made up he sat back in the tree and waited for classes to let out.  
  
None of them made it back to class in time and as such they all had to stand in the hall with late signs. Makoto and Ranma also had hand drawn signs. Something about eating the teachers lunch. Shampoo and Usagi had signs about trying to kill the teacher. The students passing those two in the hall stayed on the opposite side of the hallway to stay away from the crazy girls. Once they were let back into the room class progressed as normal except for sporadic speculation on Setsuna's underwear choices by some of the more perverted members of the class.  
  
One particularly loud and obnoxious pervert faded from existence and was replaced by a new student.  
  
Nobody noticed.  
  
When classes finally ended for the day the girls went to exchange their school shoes for their outside shoes. In Usagi's footlocker she found two tapes, Ami one and Minako one. They quickly shoved the incriminating evidence into their school bags lest Makoto or Shampoo catch them.  
  
When they had all made it outside they saw Ranma confronting a portly man, with a white gi and a white handkerchief on his head, under the same tree that they had lunch under that day. Since none of them had ever met Genma Saotome they had no idea the powder keg that was about to go off.  
  
"Foolish boy! To think all I've done for you and you go and betray me like this! Sleeping with those two whores instead of your rightful fiancée! It shames me to be your father." He started putting on the waterworks, Ranma wasn't affected.  
  
"Yeah right, you mean all the things you've done to me! And don't call them whores! They've been nice to me since I got here. They are my friends and I won't have you badmouthing them." He yelled back.  
  
"You mean they've been blowing you every night!" Fatass shot back.  
  
"Added benefit!"  
  
"Enough! You will come back and marry Akane and carry on the Anything Goes school like you were supposed to!" He yelled back swinging his arm to the side in what he hoped would be an intimidating gesture.  
  
Unfortunately Makoto, who had been attracted to the disturbance, was in the space that his hand passed through. She was hit fairly hard and thrown back a few feet.  
  
"Makoto!" Ranma yelled trying to rush to her side. He was yanked back and tossed to the ground by his father.  
  
"Stupid boy! Why should you care about her when you've got a loving fiancée back at the Tendo's!" Genma was getting frustrated by now. His son was showing that stubborn streak of his wife's that was the main reason why he and Akane hadn't been married within a week. (It didn't have anything to do with the fact that she was constantly hitting him with large blunt objects. Noooo head trauma couldn't be the reason he refused to marry her.)  
  
Genma was stupid. Come on we all know this. However he was also ignorant as well. He just assumed that Makoto was below his level of skill so he could push her around with immunity. This for the most part was true however for one minor detail.  
  
Nobody hits Sailor Jupiter without Sailor Jupiter hitting back.  
  
When the fat man had gone back to yelling at Ranma about how he should marry an 'Akane' she figured that this thing in front of her was Ranma's father. She tried sneaking up behind him to kick him in the nads through his legs. Since this was a favorite tactic of his to use on Ranma when he hit puberty he snapped his legs shut trapping her foot before it could sack him.  
  
This minor distraction was all Ranma needed as he flew into action. He opened up with a shot to the gut which was deflected. Genma then tried jumping over his son to take him out from behind. Makoto's foot was still caught between his legs and threw him slightly off balance. He righted himself by springing off of Makoto's still extended foot breaking her leg in the process. She went down on the ground screaming, tears streaming down her cheeks.  
  
"Are you all right citizen?" Came a voice from beside her.  
  
Working through the pain Makoto looked at Sailor Moon who was kneeling next to her. She saw Mercury and Venus waiting in the wings.  
  
"That evil man broke my leg and now he's trying to hurt my fiancé." She choked back a sob. Ranma wasn't her fiancé yet but hey this was acting for the crowds that had gathered to watch the fight.  
  
Sailor Moon stood up and faced where Genma and Ranma were going at it. Ranma had yet to bring out his heavy moves as he wanted the old man to get a bit more punishment before he took him down.  
  
"Halt evildoer! For hurting innocent girls that are trying to protect their hunky fiancé I, Sailor Moon, will punish you in the name of Love and Justice!"  
  
Genma took one look at the newest 'threat' and doubled over in laughter. Ranma of course capitalized on the old man's inattention by sacking him in the jimmy.  
  
"He's all yours girls." He said as he ran over to where Makoto was on the ground crying and holding her leg.  
  
"Alright Sailor Scouts Transform and Roll out!" Sailor Moon shouted.  
  
"We're not Autobots, idiot!" Venus shouted.  
  
"That and we're already transformed," Mercury helpfully pointed out.  
  
"You're always trying to ruin my fun," she said before she turned back to where Genma was recovered and was stalking towards his son.  
  
"Let's get em!" Venus shouted before she loosed a crescent beam at the fat man.  
  
Genma dodged the little beams of light but couldn't quite dodge the ice shards. Screw not hitting girls it was time to get down to business.  
  
While the girls were fighting with Genma panda Ranma was looking over Makoto's leg. There was already a large purple bruise forming in the area of the break. He knelt next to her and looked her in the eyes. She was still crying a bit.  
  
"Ok I've got to look at this. I'll try to be as careful as possible." He waited for her to nod before he pressed three pressure points on her upper leg to deaden the pain just like Tofu did when his leg was broken by Akane.  
  
He started out by probing the area around the break looking for any bone fragments and to determine if it was a compound or simple fracture. Since there was no bone sticking out of her skin he ruled out a major fracture. Further investigation led him to believe that it was just a simple fracture but that she still shouldn't walk on it. He needed a splint.  
  
"Not the face not the face!"  
  
Apparently the old man was learning that these little girls were definitely not weak.  
  
He found some stakes that were being used for a survey and pulled them out. They were made of rough wood but they were straight and strong enough to immobilize her leg. He made sure to put the orange markers in the holes so that the surveyors wouldn't have to resurvey the entire area. When he had what he needed he dashed back to where Makoto was on the ground. She was no longer crying but he could see that she was still in pain. He looked around but couldn't find anything to secure the splint with. He let out a huge sigh as he was about to tear up his shirt. He stopped and ran over to where his old man was still being worked over by the scouts.  
  
When he saw them he wished that he'd paid more attention to the fight. He knew that when they were transformed they were much faster and stronger than a normal person; however that transformation didn't give them increased skills. The only one of the three that had any formal training was Minako, and she was only a green belt at best in Shotokan. Their opponent was just as strong as any one of them and almost as fast, but five times as sneaky. Also sometime during the fight the old man had gotten hit with cold water and was a panda now. This slowed him up a bit but made him twice as strong as before.  
  
To make a long story short the scouts were getting trashed.  
  
Usagi was starting to rethink attacking the man. Unlike all of their old enemies this one was fast enough and smart enough to actually dodge their attacks and the few times they tried to close in and overpower him he would somehow trick them and then attack. She still couldn't believe that she'd fallen for the 'hey look there's 500 yen' or the 'your shoelace is untied.' She was seriously considering calling the others to help when Ranma re-engaged his father.  
  
"Scouts fall back!" Usagi yelled.  
  
Mercury and Venus jumped back as Ranma took on his father. Mercury was limping from where Genma had kicked her in the thigh and Venus had a nasty shiner from her encounter with the martial arts master.  
  
Immediately the crowd closed in on the injured scouts. Three chairs were set up and the three scouts were sat down on the chairs. Two female masseurs per scout started working on their shoulders and legs while a personal trainer was screaming something about Rocky and to keep their guard up. Cold gatorade was squirted into their mouths and somebody shoved mouth guards in their mouths.  
  
"Get out there and smash that monster!" The trainers yelled.  
  
When the crowd turned back to where the panda monster was they found that it was beaten unconscious on the ground and that the boy that had held it off for the scouts to recover was helping the girl that was hurt by the panda monster.  
  
The trainers held out their hands and the girls spit the mouth guards into their hands. The trainers then wandered off with the rest of the crowd muttering about 'contenders'.  
  
Sighing Usagi got off the chair which was quickly snatched out from under her. Save the world countless times and they love you for it. Fuck up once and they're all over you. She just hoped Makoto would be ok.  
  
When she got over to where Makoto was she noticed that Ranma had immobilized the leg with the wood stakes and the belt from the fat guy's gi. Makoto didn't look to be in too much pain at the moment, but that scream that she let out when her leg was broken was not something that could be dismissed as a simple injury.  
  
"How is she?" Moon asked Ranma.  
  
"Her leg's broken. It's just a simple fracture nothing serious. It'll take a couple of weeks to heal though."  
  
"A Senshi has magical healing." Usagi commented absentmindedly. "If she was a senshi she'd be good as new in a couple of days. If we had Saturn here she could fix her in a couple of minutes."  
  
"But she's not a Senshi and I don't see Saturn here," Ranma said trying to cover for Makoto. "I'm going to take her home could you get Venus to drag the fat panda and maybe get a message to Shampoo about what happened."  
  
"Uhh sure. It is a leader's job to delegate tasks." She smiled a bit at this. "Venus front and center now!"  
  
Minako came wandering up to where Usagi and Makoto were.  
  
"What the hell is your problem?" She asked a bit miffed that Usagi was speaking to her like she was some kind of soldier.  
  
"I want you to escort this nice couple back to their house, and you are to bring the panda along for punishment."  
  
"So let me get this straight. You want me to drag his carcass all the way across town? Why me why don't you do it?"  
  
"Because I'm the leader. I'm supposed to delegate responsibility." Usagi said smugly.  
  
"Always thought I was in charge," Minako muttered as she walked over to where Genma was currently taking a dirt nap.  
  
"Stupid fucking panda.... extinct... diet."  
  
She picked him up off the ground and was about to throw him over her shoulder but stopped. She got an evil glint in her eye as she dropped him on his head and grabbed his hind leg.  
  
"All right let's get going now." She called cheerfully over her shoulder.  
  
Ranma picked up Makoto as gently as he could as to not aggravate her injury more than necessary. She still winced as her leg was jarred. He looked down at her waiting for a signal to proceed. She gave a small nod and they were off. Venus trailed them dragging the panda behind her. Of course her path was a little more erratic than Ranma's and not nearly as gentle. During the trip back to Mrs. Saotome's house she made a point to go over 10 rocks, 3 broken bottles, 20 curbs, and through 4 stinging bushes with lots of thorns and poisoness needles.  
  
When they were out of sight Usagi turned to Ami.  
  
"All right Mercury if you could go inform Ms. Shampoo that her fiancée's are heading home and that they were in a minor altercation with a wild panda." Even though the panda was really Ranma's father and the fact that she didn't know the meaning of the word altercation.  
  
"Why don't you do it?" Mercury didn't want to be anywhere near Shampoo when she found out that Makoto was hurt. That and her leg was really starting to kill her.  
  
"I'm the leader that's why." Usagi said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.  
  
"Then you lead yourself. I'm going home." And with that she limped off.  
  
Usagi was left alone in the schoolyard. With a sigh she trudged off to tell Shampoo that Makoto had been hurt. She just hoped that Setsuna would be understanding when Shampoo would race out of the room.  
  
When Ranma, Makoto, Venus and the still unconscious panda made it through the gates of the house Venus dropped the panda and took a break. Stupid heavy panda. Hearing a car pulling into the gate everybody moved to the side to let it through. Venus conveniently forgot the panda in the middle of the road.  
  
Love and Justice except when she had to drag his fat ass all the way from school, then it was Hate and Revenge all the way.  
  
The car pulled into the driveway and stopped short of running over the panda much to Venus' chagrin. Nodoka got out of the drivers side and Cologne got out of the passengers. Both of them saw a beaten panda on the ground.  
  
"Well look what the cat dragged in." Cologne said.  
  
Everybody stared at her.  
  
"Figuratively of course."  
  
"Son I assume this is your father." She said indicating the panda.  
  
"Uhh yeah that's pops, he showed up at school yelling about how I should go marry Akane and dump Shampoo and Makoto." Ranma replied.  
  
"I assume that during the fight your leg was injured child." Cologne said pointing at the splint.  
  
"Yeah he jumped off my leg and broke it." Makoto sniffled.  
  
"That is just like your father." Nodoka said as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Why don't you take Makoto into the house." She suggested.  
  
"'K mom." He said walking off towards the front door.  
  
"And don't forget to transform I'll be walking around in hybrid form."  
  
Whether he heard her or not Nodoka transformed into her hybrid form not caring about her torn clothes. She hid it well but right now she was furious at her husband for all of the boneheaded things he'd done to her son. The engagements, the Neko Ken, Jusenkyo, and most importantly leaving her for TEN FUCKING YEARS! She walked over to where her Venus had dumped him. She looked down to where he was lying on the ground. She then looked over to Venus.  
  
"I'll just be going now," Venus said as she turned tail and ran. Ranma's mother could be scary sometimes.  
  
"Elder if you wouldn't mind pulling the car up to the garage and then joining me in the basement. My husband and I need to get reacquainted."  
  
Cologne was shocked to hear that after all Genma's done to her she would be willing to forgive and forget so easily. This notion was quickly banished when she saw that Nodoka was flicking her claws in and out, and that her tail was swishing around violently behind her. She decided that the best thing that she could do would be to go assist her daughter-in-law and make sure that she didn't actually kill the old fool. No matter how indifferent Ranma was being about this she knew that if he died he would still resent his mother.  
  
"Oh well. Such is life," Cologne said as she shrugged and climbed into the drivers seat. All you could see was knuckles on the steering wheel.  
  
Nodoka bent over and picked up her husband. Damn he's put on weight since she last saw him. As she hefted him over her shoulder the car peeled out leaving black streaks on the driveway as a bluish grey haze filled the air. The car rocketed straight for the garage at high speed. Ten feet from the garage door the car went into a spin so that when it stopped it was facing away from the door ready to be used again.  
  
Cologne got out of the car.  
  
"Ahh that reminds me of my youth." She said with a spring in her step.  
  
"Of course you were there when the wheel was invented." Walter commented from the doorway.  
  
"Hah shows how much you know. I was nailing John Chrysler even before he picked up a wrench."  
  
"Why not Henry Ford?"  
  
"Too full of himself."  
  
"Great grandma, great grandma!" Shampoo yelled from the gates as she jumped over them and raced towards the house.  
  
Cologne turned towards the noisy interloper.  
  
"What is it child."  
  
Shampoo skidded to a stop about three feet from where Cologne was standing.  
  
"Airen 2 hurt!"  
  
"Airen 2?"  
  
"Need some way of telling which is which."  
  
Cologne just looked at her heir.  
  
"Here's an idea why not try their names." She responded flatly.  
  
"That good idea! What I ever do without you!" Shampoo said as she bounced off towards the house to see if her airens were ok. It was so fun playing with her great grandmother like that.  
  
Cologne looked to the sky for some kind of sign. Anything to tell her what to do. A sign from the gods to lead her in the right direction.  
  
What she got was a small black pig with a yellow polka dot bandanna around it's neck flying through the sky.  
  
"Hmm now that's something you don't see everyday."  
  
Walter looked up to see a pig soaring through the skies.  
  
"You don't think that could be that Ryoga character do you?"  
  
"It is a possibility. Since Ranma is no longer there to protect him I'd imagine that the young Akane took her pet for a nice hot bath." She paused for a moment. "I wish I could have gotten a picture of her face at that moment." She waited a few moments before pogoing off.  
  
"Where are you going Elder?" Walter called from his perch on the stairs.  
  
"Well I'm off to do a HALO jump. A couple of army friends of mine challenged me to do it a few years back."  
  
"So why are you doing it now?!"  
  
"When pigs fly! Oh yes and don't let Nodoka kill her husband!"  
  
And with that she was off. Walter stared at the spot she was at for a few moments before shaking his head and going back inside. He shifted as soon as he got through the door.  
  
In 'their' room Ranma in his hybrid form had placed Makoto on the bed, being careful not to jar her leg too much. He was about to cover her up and go get either a better splint or something like a cast when she stopped him.  
  
"Hold on. Could you remove the splint, I want to change to my hybrid form first."  
  
"Yeah sure." He said as he pulled off the splint.  
  
They both shifted and he helped adjust her again so that she was comfortable.  
  
"Ooo that's weird." She said while wiggling her toes.  
  
"What is?" Ranma asked throwing the improvised splint in the garbage but keeping his fathers belt.  
  
"It's tingling... around the break."  
  
Ranma walked over and gently lifted the fur around the break site so that he could look at her skin. He saw the bruise that was around the break site fade before his eyes. He knew that he himself was a fast healer, but this was ridiculous.  
  
"Yourrr brrruise is gone. I... wait a minute." He looked at her. "I knew that we healed fasterrrr when we'rrre in hybrrrid and full cat forrrms but this is rrridiculous."  
  
"So that means???"  
  
"You should be fully healed in a couple of hourrrs barrring getting hurrrt morrre."  
  
Just then a purple blur shot through the door and plowed into the immobile Makoto jarring her leg. The bruise may have been gone but the leg was still fractured.  
  
She screamed.  
  
Shampoo blinked then zipped over to where Ranma was.  
  
"Shampoo sorry." She repeated over and over while performing a great imitation of the crouch of the wild tiger. Ranma would have to remember to teach her the proper technique sometime. Her form was good but she wasn't bending her arms enough and her butt was way too high in the air.  
  
After a few minutes of Shampoo groveling for forgiveness Makoto finally spoke up.  
  
"It's alright now. Just... don't do that again."  
  
Silence reigned for a good five minutes before Makoto spoke up.  
  
"Umm Shampoo didn't you have detention or something?"  
  
"Crybaby leader girl come to tell me that Airen 2 hurt by fat stupid panda man. Old pervert woman try stop me but no willing jump out window."  
  
"And just what reason do you have to believe that I didn't follow you?" Came Setsuna's voice from about a foot away from Shampoo's left ear.  
  
Shampoo yelped and leapt up to perform her 'husband's' patented cling to the ceiling technique. After seeing him do it so many times she was able to copy it perfectly.  
  
"How are you feeling Mako chan?" Setsuna said as she fingered a note in her hand.  
  
"It still hurts but not as much as it did before." She winced as she moved her leg a bit to get it back in position.  
  
"Well now that you're transformed it should be all healed within an hour or so. The best thing right now is rest, so you two" She indicated Ranma and the still ceiling clinging Shampoo "should let her rest."  
  
"Yeah sure just a sec." Ranma said as he went over and helped Makoto into a lying position so that she wouldn't jar her still healing leg anymore.  
  
"Alright Romeo out she's got to get some rest." Setsuna said while shooing the two of them out of the room.  
  
Several blocks from the Saotome home two girls were walking along. Upon closer inspection we could see Nabiki and her sister Kasumi. Nabiki was still in her school uniform, which was normal. The thing that had all of the guys married or not running into light posts, mailboxes, energy draining youma, etc was her sister walking beside her.  
  
Imagine this dear reader. Take Kasumi Tendo, ordinary plain Kasumi, overlooked by the men of Nerima (except for Dr. Tofu). Now take off the old house dress and slippers. Put three inch spaghetti strap heels on recently pedicured feet. Moving up to her waist instead of a long skirt it's a short black mini that looks like it was molded directly to her skin in places. At the back you can see faint panty lines. Covering her torso was a skimpy v neck shirt that would have looked just right on Akane or Nabiki (whose closet she stole it from) added to that the fact that she neglected to wear a bra meant some serious shaking. Her face had just the right amount of makeup on to accentuate her features without making her look trashy. Her hair was styled the same as it always was but there was a bit of a wave in it now. Now start her walking. Instead of her normal timid tiptoe walk her hips were swinging back and forth giving her butt maximum sway for minimum effort.  
  
In effect she was dressed to kill and had her target in her sights.  
  
Enroute from her home to the train station and from the station to the Saotome home.  
  
Fatalities: 10 including 1 frag  
  
Injuries: 43  
  
Pissed off Girlfriends: 80  
  
Moving Violations: 1  
  
Kasumi was of course acting oblivious to all of this. It was Nabiki who was keeping score and doubting that if dressed similarly she could do as well.  
  
She watched as her chances with Ranma took a swan dive off a tall cliff onto a pile of sharp rocks, then get eaten by the carrion, then crapped out dried up and blown away like so many other dreams.  
  
Gods she felt cheerful today.  
  
She dodged out of the way of another pervert that had leaned too far over his balcony to try and look down her sister's shirt.  
  
He was still alive +1 to the injury count.  
  
As they rounded the corner on the street that Ranma's house was on they began to get a strange feeling that something was out of place. The houses on this street were huge some were even as large as the Kuno estate. Mrs. Saotome must be loaded to afford to have a place like that.  
  
When they got to the address indicated on her paper she looked at a pair of open gates surrounded by high walls.  
  
"That's weird." Nabiki said as she looked at the open gates.  
  
"What is?" Kasumi responded a little concerned.  
  
"Well usually for these rich types they always have the gates closed to try to discourage robbers, vagrants etc. To leave the gates open like this means that they either have nothing worth while stealing or they aren't afraid of anybody. With Ranma, Shampoo and Cologne there I'd feel sorry for any would be robber, but still it's strange that they would leave the gates open."  
  
"Well no use trying to figure it out let's just go inside." Kasumi said as she grabbed her sister's hand and started dragging her through the gate.  
  
Back in the house Setsuna had dropped Ranma and Shampoo in the living room. She then made some excuse about having other appointments to keep and wandered off somewhere. Ranma alone in the living room with Shampoo tried to think of something to do with her. That thought popped into his head but he quickly dismissed it. Challenging her to a sparring match would just not do.  
  
What did you think he was thinking about? Sex?  
  
Fifteen minutes passed with both of them just staring off into space. Ranma was starting to fidget from sitting in one place for too long and doing nothing. He spied the controllers for the game system. Well a couple rounds of Spine Puller 4 vs Shampoo would work. He jumped up and started flipping switches and pushing buttons to turn everything on. He still hadn't figured out how to use all the remote controls yet. He switched the game in the system grabbed both controllers and sat back down. He passed one of the controllers to Shampoo and they started to play.  
  
Onscreen both characters started to dance and jump around the screen. Combos were thrown out and subsequently blocked by the other player before they counter attacked. A thirty-second timer was too short since by blocking, damage that was done was reduced by half or less. Matches between himself and Shampoo always went two or more minutes. She didn't stand a chance in the real world against him but in this virtual world where the number of moves was limited, the speed of the characters was set, and the only determining factor was how fast you could press the buttons Shampoo was easily a match for her husband.  
  
This virtual sparring went on for another half an hour before the doorbell rang. They continued to play since they had gotten used to Walter answering the door. Little did they know that Walter was otherwise 'occupied'. Ranma had just performed a 36 hit mega combo that had torn Shampoo's character limb from limb. All that was left now was a torso with a head on it. She only had a tiny sliver of a life bar left. The doorbell rang again.  
  
"I'll get it." Ranma said as he put his controller down and rushed off to the door.  
  
Shampoo was moving her torso forward with the intent of biting his ankles off.  
  
Ranma got to the door just as the doorbell rang again. He tossed the door open and looked down on the two people that were standing on the doorstep.  
  
Completely forgetting that he was still in his hybrid form.  
  
Nabiki and Kasumi got the shock of their lives when the door suddenly flew open and they were both left to stare at the hard muscled and furry chest of... something. Looking up they came face to face with a half cat half man. Nabiki briefly thought that the colouring made him look like a cheetah or maybe a jaguar.  
  
Then it spoke.  
  
"Uhh Kasumi, Nabiki, umm what arrre you two doing herrre?"  
  
In Ranma's voice.  
  
This was too much for the sisters and they promptly fainted.  
  
Ranma sighed, suddenly remembering that he was in his hybrid form, and picked up the two of them and slung one over each shoulder and carried them back inside remembering to shut the door. He didn't want any more surprises today. It would be just his luck that Kuno or maybe Ryoga would decide to stop by and try and skewer him for being an evil monster or something like that.  
  
When he got to the living room he saw Shampoo perform a finishing move that ripped out his characters throat. With high pressure blood spurting from his virtual persona the announcer said that Shampoo was the winner.  
  
"Hey no fairrr I want a rrremach!" He said as he sat down and picked up the controller, completely forgetting that he still had Nabiki and Kasumi slung over his shoulders.  
  
Shampoo looked over and noticed that Kasumi and Nabiki were on his shoulders.  
  
"Shampoo want know why nice girl and greedy girl over Airen's shoulders. Is fashion accessory right?" She narrowed her eyes at her husband.  
  
"Whoops!" He said as he stood up suddenly, both girls spilling from his shoulders to tumble into a heap on the couch.  
  
The sudden jarring sensation was enough to wake Nabiki up from her impromptu nap. She blinked her eyes rapidly as she woke up to find herself with her big sisters ass in her face and herself laying on a comfy couch of some kind. Well first things first she had to sit up. To do that she rolled Kasumi off her onto the floor. She sat up and rubbed her eyes to clear them. The first thing she saw was Shampoo sitting on the same couch holding a game controller of some kind.  
  
"You know I just had the strangest dream right now." She laughed a bit. "I dreamed that Ranma was some kind of cat monster." She laughed a little harder. "Stupid or what."  
  
"Airen no monster, were cheetah." Shampoo said.  
  
"Were cheetah? You mean like a were wolf or something like that?"  
  
"Yeah that's prrretty much it." Ranma's voice came from behind her.  
  
Nabiki whipped around and had to look up, way up right into Ranma's fuzzy face. It was strange, now that she thought about it, that she didn't recognize him when he was at the door. His face looked almost the same except it was fuzzy. His ears were elongated and his eyes were slitted. He was still wearing his school uniform though. That's probably what threw her off.  
  
"So uhh Ranma how's it going?" She said as she stared unblinking at his face. His fuzzy furry silky smooth face.  
  
Was it getting hot in here?  
  
"You know same old same old. Go to school, sleep, fight monsterrrs that are trrrying to drrrain people's energy. Same as Nerrrima except the headmaster isn't a nutjob and the students are pretty much norrmal forrr the most parrrt."  
  
"Ahh I see. Umm could you... uhh change back." This was just creepy. She knew she wasn't into bestiality but this was Ranma; someone she wanted in her.  
  
"Uhh yeah I guess." He said as he shifted back to his human form. He quickly used the Velcro to put his clothes back into order. "So what are you two doing here?"  
  
"We just wanted to visit you. See how you were doing."  
  
"Ohh Ranma. Yes touch me there." Kasumi moaned in her sleep pretty much ruining any chance of Nabiki being believed.  
  
About this time Kasumi's faculties were coming back online. The first thing that she noticed was that she was lying face down on a nice wood floor... with her ass sticking straight up in the air. Quickly rolling over she said the first thing that came to her mind.  
  
"Oh My. I had the strangest dream."  
  
She sat up and looked over to where Ranma was staring at her.  
  
"Hello Ranma kun. Would you believe that I thought I saw a cat man at the door. How silly of me." She said as she put her hand to her cheek, 'unintentially' jiggling her breasts in the process.  
  
Shampoo in the words of Queen Victoria 'was not amused'.  
  
Just then Makoto still in her hybrid form came around the corner. She had a noticeable limp but it wasn't as bad as it was before.  
  
"What's all the racket down here?" She said as she fully stepped into the room.  
  
"Ahhhhh! CAT!" Ranma screamed as he leapt up towards the ceiling.  
  
Kasumi didn't bother looking where Ranma had gone to. He'd done the same thing before when a cat was around. All of her attention was on the newcomer in front of her. Tall, big breasts, tail, ears, fuzzy. It took all of her willpower not to faint again.  
  
"You wouldn't happen to be Makoto would you?" Nabiki asked feeling a little intimidated. Ok she was very intimidated. Makoto was about one to one and a half feet taller than she was and looked like she could rip through a tank. (She actually could do that)  
  
"Yes I am. It seems that you know me but I don't know who you are."  
  
"They arrre Nabiki and Kasumi." Ranma said as he, now in his hybrid form, dropped from the ceiling beside her.  
  
Kasumi was... well stupefied. Here was the guy she'd been lusting over for over a year and he turns out to be a half cat guy monster.  
  
Kasumi Tendo was a known cat lover. She often brought strays home but had to stop that after they found out that Ranma was afraid of cats. Speaking of which.  
  
"Ranma why are you a cat now?"  
  
What followed was a comprehensive explanation of lycanthropy, the were cheetah's clan history, and most of the events that had transpired durring the few days excluding of course all sailor scout activity but not, much to Ranma's embarrassment, their sexual activity. Shampoo particularly enjoyed giving the Tendo sisters a play by play of their one night time romp. He wondered why she was going into detail with the Tendos and not with Makoto's friends.  
  
Ahh poor innocent Ranma. Little did he know that they were marking him as their territory to other females.  
  
It was so much easier being a guy.  
  
When the explanations were done and the Tendo sisters were thoroughly embarrassed and more than a little frightened. When Ranma's stomach growled Nabiki must have jumped six feet in the air.  
  
"Don't do that!" Nabiki yelled.  
  
"Ahh sorrrry I haven't eaten yet." Ranma said sheepishly as he grinned (baring his fangs) and scratched the back of his head just like he always did.  
  
"Don't you have servants or something to cook for you?" Nabiki asked a little confused.  
  
"Not rrreally it's just Walterrr and he just cleans. Mom loves cooking so she just usually does it. Lately Makoto, Shampoo and sometimes Cologne have helped out."  
  
"So where is your mother?" Kasumi asked.  
  
"Ahh I think she's getting rrreaquainted with the old man." Ranma said.  
  
"Call me queen," followed by "Yes mistress!" could be heard faintly from somewhere below them.  
  
Both Kasumi and Nabiki were shocked by this.  
  
"You mean your father was stupid enough to come here?!" Nabiki asked. She knew Genma was dumb but this was beyond stupid.  
  
"Nah he just came to school and tried to get me to go back and marry Akane. He backhanded Makoto then broke her leg."  
  
They looked at Makoto.  
  
"I'm almost healed. It was just a simple fracture." She smiled showings lots of fang. She then popped out her claws. "Gods do I love this. Increased healing, strength, senses and above all speed." She started cackling madly.  
  
"Yeah well I guess mom's going to be busy for a while." There was a girlish scream in the background. "So I guess we've got to make supper."  
  
"I'll help!" This from an enthusiastic Kasumi.  
  
"You no know how to cook for cats. They is very fickle."  
  
"Yeah right this is Ranma even if he's a cat now he's still a garbage disposal." Nabiki commented.  
  
"Not quite Nabiki. Cats can be quite fickle sometimes." She reached into her own personal stuff space and pulled out a green sprig of something. "For instance all cats like catnip." She smiled as she wiggled it in front of Ranma's face.  
  
Once he got a whiff of it he couldn't control himself. He took a small nip of one of the leaves. His eyes unfocused and his pupils dilated. He grabbed the sprig from Kasumi's hands and fell backwards changing into his full cat mode. He dangled the sprig in front of his face and he took little nips now and then while kicking his feet in the air.  
  
"See he's happy right now." Kasumi smiled.  
  
"He's stoned sis," Nabiki responded flatly. The fact that Ranma was not human firmly hammered into her head.  
  
"Happy."  
  
"I would appreciate it if you would refrain from getting my boyfriend stoned." Makoto said as she ripped the sprig of catnip out of Ranma's paws.  
  
Once she caught a whiff of that wonderful aroma she couldn't help herself she just had to try it even though she knew it was bad for her. She brought it to her mouth and was about to take a bite when her co-wife came out of nowhere and snatched it out of her hand. She used her limited ki control to burn it.  
  
"No getting Airens drugged." Shampoo said.  
  
Everybody looked back to where Ranma was. He had wormed his way out of his clothes and was busy licking himself clean. He was also purring up a storm. When he started cleaning his groin Nabiki just had to say something.  
  
"You know that's just disturbing in a strangely auto-erotic way."  
  
Both Shampoo and Makoto were hanging their heads. They had thought that they had broken him of that habit.  
  
"All right we need to get some food ready. Who's going to watch Ranma so that he doesn't hurt himself or others." Makoto said.  
  
"I'll do it!" Kasumi piped up.  
  
"Actually Tendo-san Ranma's been raving about your cooking. I want to see just how good you are." Makoto said as she picked up the smaller woman and tossed her over her shoulder and carried her out of the room talking all the while.  
  
"I'll stay and watch Ranma." Nabiki said as she sat back in the couch.  
  
"Shampoo no trust. You and sister try to steal Airen. Shampoo not that stupid not to see." She said as she leveled a glare at Nabiki.  
  
Nabiki let out a huge sigh.  
  
"Yeah that was the original plan, you know come here and see if he's got enough in him for another girl." She looked at Ranma who was still cleaning himself. "I'm pretty used to weird stuff happening around him, I mean a guy turning into a girl was weird enough but not this..." He was really getting that clean. If she didn't know better she would have thought that he was really enjoying it.  
  
"So you no chase Airen?" Shampoo asked with a bit of hope. It was getting to be a full time job beating off the other girls that wanted a piece of her husband.  
  
Nabiki closed her eyes for a few minutes to really think about it. One he was not human. She'd gotten over the fact that he turned into a girl a while ago. It'd be a while before she would get over the fact that he also turned into a large feline as well. Two he was already 'married' to one girl and affianced to another. Well in for a penny in for a pound. Three he probably hated her because of all of the nasty things she's done to him. Add to that the fact that Kasumi would be her main rival. This was something that would be difficult if not impossible to overcome. She was always up for a challenge. Four Shampoo was standing in front of her with a rather largish sword drawn and pointed at her.... She'd have to wish her sister luck.  
  
"No I'll back off." She said with the sound of a dream dying, or was that Genma?  
  
Ranma had finished cleaning himself and was rubbing himself against Shampoo. It was only her warriors training that let her keep her feet but she was still wobbling a bit. She put the sword away and pushed the amorous kitty towards Nabiki.  
  
"Watch him. I go school big sister in nature of things."  
  
Shampoo left the room. Ranma tried to follow but Nabiki held him back. She wasn't sure why he let her hold him back. Maybe he just wanted to be petted, to be loved and held. To hold her as a man holds a woman. Yes her dream was starting to come back to life! Soon he would drop the other girls and only love her, Nabiki Tendo!  
  
Or he just wanted to hump her leg like a dog.  
  
It took quite some doing but eventually the girls were able to make something coherent in the way of food. Makoto was still surprised that Kasumi was able to cook springbuck. Since Ranma was still high on something just a bit stronger than life they decided to eat outside on the patio. Ranma was eating like an animal which is to say that he was eating just a bit neater than he normally did. Even Kasumi was smart enough not to try and stick her hand anywhere near his reach or risk it being bitten off.  
  
When they had finished they were sitting around drinking their tea. Ranma had wandered off and found himself a warm spot to sleep. Nabiki was opening her mouth to say something when a loud scream was heard.  
  
Everybody turned to look at where it came from when Walter in his hybrid form came rushing around the corner. His clothing was torn in several places and he looked like he'd just run a couple of marathons. About two or so meters behind him were a couple of older women wearing chinese silk style dresses waiving swords and yelling something about 'Airen'. As one the assembled group minus Ranma turned to look at Shampoo.  
  
Shampoo blinked as she realized everyone was looking at her.  
  
"They is Nair and Vidal. Two older womens from village. They is too too good to be beaten by normal mens. No know why they here," she said as she crossed her arms under her breasts. "Shampoo just happy that they finally find Airen, just as long as they keep hands off Shampoo's Airens."  
  
Ranma had been lazily following the action from his spot on the stone fence. Deciding to join in the fun he went to turn the amazon's game of tag into tackle football.  
  
Walter went down fairly hard. He'd be ok if not for the Amazons jumping on top and kissing him. First Vidal then Nair. Makoto had turned on the afterburners as soon as she saw Ranma move and yanked him out of the fray before he accidentally scratched or bit anybody, however it was too late for Walter. Shampoo was cheering her sisters from the patio while Walter was laying on the ground swearing bloody vengeance against old dried up mummies.  
  
Nabiki and Kasumi wisely chose this moment to make their exit. They said goodbye to Ranma even though he was only semi coherent.  
  
As they were walking back to the train station they were accosted by a woman in a trench coat and fedora.  
  
"Good evening ladies." The mysterious woman said.  
  
"What do you want?" Nabiki asked, a little suspicious. The woman moved fluidly meaning that she'd been trained in some kind of martial art.  
  
"Oh nothing more than to give you these." She held out two pen like objects.  
  
The pen she held out to Kasumi was red with orange swirls in it. The top had an almost rusty iron appearance. It looked like somebody had taken a sledgehammer to a stylized "H".  
  
The pen she held out to Nabiki was black with yellow radioactive symbols on it. The top looked like it was made of solid gold. (It was pyrite) The symbol was a P however it looked like it had an eye and a smiling mouth in the open part.  
  
Both pens had a yellow post it note with a phrase on it.  
  
"Enjoy, and remember that not all hero's start out heroic." She said as she stepped through a portal and disappeared.  
  
Both Nabiki and Kasumi looked at their 'gifts'.  
  
"Maybe I could pawn it for something," Nabiki said as she tossed it over her shoulder. It disappeared as soon as she let go of it.  
  
"Nabiki we really shouldn't be just throwing them out after that nice woman went through so much effort to give them to us," Kasumi said as she put hers into her own personal space.  
  
"Yeah well that nice lady just disappeared into a magical portal if you didn't notice. For once I'm going to take a lesson from Ranma. Magic is nothing but trouble and I don't want anything to do with it."  
  
"I always did want to be a magical girl," Kasumi said as she started walking towards the train station again.  
  
"Not me. The hours are murder and the pay sucks. If you ask me being a magical girl is nothing but trouble that I can do without," Nabiki responded working over the thought of being a magical girl. If those sticks really were magical girl transformation devices...  
  
"Great all I need now is some stupid talking animal sidekick and I'm all set." She shuddered at the thought. "Great I'm giving myself cavities just thinking about it.  
  
Setsuna laughed as she checked the scene on the gates of time. The dark side was always more fun to play than the light side. Soon she would be all the way over to the dark then the fun would really begin. Why just now she'd helped a little ewok across the street and into a FURNACE.  
  
She put down the Xbox controller and took a sip of her tea. This Star wars Knights of the Old Republic game was hilariously fun.  
  
Authors Notes:  
  
Sorry about the long wait, it's been nuts at my workplace so I have had absolutely no time to write anything.  
  
A big thanks to my prereaders Mark the Tax Zombie, Axekeeper, and Lord Raa.  
  
Without their help this would sound like a yoda convention.  
  
Any comments etc send to  
  
nealharris@otakumail.com 


	7. Chapter 7

5 1/4 disk claimer- The characters used within are not mine and as such I'm using them illegally for my own twisted purposes and for the entertainment of total strangers. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 7: I summon the Iron Chef

It was Sunday when Ranma finally saw his father again. He was beaten pretty severely and had the ruminants of ropes still on his body. It looked as if he'd chewed through the ropes to get free. His clothing was disheveled and it looked like his mother had really done a job on the old fart. He had that look of prey that had just escaped the lions den. Then he opened his mouth.

"Boy... son, you've got to protect me! Your mother's been killed and replaced by some sort of cat monster!" He yelled as he ran around Ranma and tried to hide behind him.

Ranma of course would have none of this and promptly whapped his old man on the head as he was trying to sneak around him. Genma hit the ground and looked up at his son.

"Why the hell are you trying to hide behind me for? I'm scared of cats if you didn't remember Pop."

"You've got to hide me. She'll find me any minute now!" He hit on something that he thought would make the boy go kill that monster that was saying she was his wife. "Boy you've got to go kill that monster that killed your mother and took her place!" 

"Yeah rrright pops" He said as he too changed into his hybrid form. "like I'm going to kill Mom."

Genma scrambled away as yet another monster took the place of his son.

"Ahh you're not Ranma!" He screamed like a little girl. 

"Actually pop I am Rrranma. Mom always was a werrre cheetah even beforrre you marrried herrr. I just found out that I'm one too." He said as he started advancing on his old man. "The rrreason she's so pissed is because of all the stupid shit you did." Genma was backed into a corner now.

"B...b b but it was all in the name of the art!"

"Rrright thrrrowing me into a pit of cats when I was six was rrreally for the best."

"Hey Ranma what's going on?" Makoto called out from behind him.

"Oh it's just pops he's trrrying to say that Mom's a monsterrr." 

"Who's that?" he gibbered.

"Oh herrr. That's Makoto my fiancée... sorrrt of. She's the girrrl who's leg you brrroke a couple of days ago."

"Hi." She said as she popped her now feline head from around Ranma's side.

"I think she wants to have a worrrd with you."

Makoto started cracking her knuckles as she started to advance on the hapless Genma. Cologne had been alerted by all the shouting and was standing by the door to make sure that Makoto didn't go too far and Genma didn't try anything funny. Ranma waved at her as he went upstairs to get clean.

-------------------------------

"Make the hurting stop!" Was heard from downstairs.

Ranma chuckled as he passed by Walter's door. Just up ahead he saw the hired help again on a slow crawl towards the bathroom and hopefully salvation. Again he decided to take pity on him. He grabbed Walter and lifted him over his shoulder.

"y..r gd by y'know zat."

"Just hold on I'll get you to the furrro."

"Everytn gon blck."

"Man I'm glad that I've only got one Amazon to deal with. I don't know what I'd do with two of them."

"Daisy...."

"Ok I think you'rrre going to need something a little strongerrr than that."

"...ysiaD"

He rounded the corner and walked into the furo. Shampoo was just finishing up.

"Airen you is ok? Want Shampoo wash back?"

"Uhh no that's fine. Yourrr two frrriends just worrre Walterrr out that's all."

"Aiyahhh." Shampoo trailed off. Normally it would be the newlyweds washing each other the next day. If Walter had worn out her sisters to the point that they couldn't get up and wash with him that was impressive. These were cats all seemed capable of extreme feats of sexual stamina.

"Just go check on them and make surrre they'rrre both allrrright ok? I'll take carrre of Walterrr herrre."

"Ok bye bye Airen." She said as she left the room to check on her battle sisters. Well that and see if she could get any tips for her and her Airen's next time.

Once she was out of the room Ranma put Walter down on the ground and stripped off his clothes. Not wanting to go anywhere near Walter's boxers he just picked him up again and set him in the pool/furo. When he was fairly certain that Walter wasn't going to drown he made his way over to the wash station and began washing and getting off all of the dirt that was on him last night. It was made all the harder because he had more surface area and the fur wasn't helping matters. Eventually he got clean enough that he could get in the furo. He noticed that there was now a small bar fridge in the bathing area. Curious he walked over and opened it. Inside was a cornucopia of energy bars and sports drinks perfect for replenishing lost energy from lots of exertion.

He snagged a couple of bars and two bottles of drink and walked over to where Walter was still sitting trying to move as little as possible. He set the bars and one bottle on the side of the furo and cracked the second bottle open. Slowly he poured the life giving contents down Walter's throat allowing him time to breathe. When he was sufficiently revived he opened one of the energy bars.

"Feed me." Walter said weakly.

"Fine." Ranma replied as he took a small piece off the bar and put it into Walter's mouth. 

This went on for a little while before Makoto opened the door. She didn't have any blood on her but she sure had a satisfied look on her face. 

"Hey Ranma." She said as she walked up to the side of the furo.

"Hey. You didn't kill pops did you?" He asked.

"Nah. That's your mother's job." She said as she started stripping. "I just worked him over for a bit." She rubbed her shoulder where his one strike had hit. She wouldn't tell Ranma that he'd been aiming at her heart. She didn't know if it would have been enough to kill her but she still thanked elder Cologne for her assistance in deflecting the strike. 

"Don mind me." Walter slurred. "I'll be gon in mint." He said as he slipped below the surface of the furo.

"Umm I think I'll skip soaking today." Makoto said as she jumped up and wrapped the towel around herself. Truth be told she didn't notice Walter sitting there as only the top of his head was really visible.

"Uhh yeah I'll make surrre that Walterrr doesn't drrrown or anything."

"Ok well see you at the table. I think your mom has breakfast ready." She said as she hurried out of the room. Ranma seeing her naked was fine as he'd seen her like this before, but Walter was not one that she wanted to flash.

"Ok so what to do with you then?" Ranma asked the bubbles that were forming on the surface of the water.

He watched them for a few seconds.

"Oh shit, this is not good."

-------------------------------

Down at the breakfast table Ranma found his father tied to one of the chairs with lots and lots of rope. Even with his panda strength he probably couldn't bust out of that much rope, although knowing the old man he probably had a move to get out of something like that. Houdini would be proud of the way the old man seemed to be able to escape from nearly anything. Apparently his mother was very good at bindings and knots and such... on second thought he really didn't want to know.

Makoto and Shampoo were in their usual spots which just happened to frame him on either side. Genma was glaring at his son as he nonchalantly sat down between the two girls and started eating. Nodoka came up behind him and hit him in the back of his head.

"Lay off it 'husband'. Like it or not they seem to work well together and I won't have you interfering!"

"But Nodoka the schools must be joined! Soun and I made a solemn promise that we would unite the two schools of Anything goes!"

Nodoka narrowed her eyes at this proclamation. She could see several ways that her foolish husband could use this against her son. 

"So you see he has to marry Akane!"

"No way in hell am I going to marrrry that tomboy!" Ranma yelled back at his father. Makoto and Shampoo each grabbed an arm whether to hold him back from attacking his old man or to signify possession he couldn't tell.

"Dearest..." Nodoka started in her most frightening voice.

Genma shut up right then and there.

"Now Genma don't make me get the ball gag again."

At that proclamation Ranma engaged the Saotome final technique, he grabbed both girls and hauled much ass away from the table. His parents being sexual was just something he really didn't need to think about. Besides they were supposed to meet the other girls in the park and go to Tokyo Disney today.

Nodoka glanced at her watch noting the time.

"Elder I'm afraid that I've got to go to work today. Would you be so kind as to entertain my husband while I'm gone?" 

"Think nothing of it. I don't have any more meddling to do today so all I was planning on doing was going out and maybe feeding the ducks in the park."

"I'll be off then!" She said as she grabbed her purse and briefcase and headed out the door.

Both Genma and Cologne sat in silence for a few minutes before she got up and walked over to where Genma was tied up.

"You know Genma it's been a long time since I've been with a man."

-----------------------------------

It was a relatively short walk to the park as the three teens talked amicably amongst each other. Ranma had changed back as soon as he got out of the house. When they got to the designated meeting place they only found Rei and Ami waiting for them. It wasn't much of a surprise considering that it was still relatively early on a Sunday and dragging Usagi or Minako out of bed would have been a Herculean effort. Makoto waved to the two girls as they approached. Only Rei saw them and waved back. Ami was busy drawing in an upgrade for her BFG in her notebook and as such wouldn't notice it if one of the monsters that had been attacking suddenly popped up behind her.

Speaking of which.

Okonomix was quite thrilled. Her target, the girl with the blue hair, still hadn't noticed her sneaking up behind her. She was about to pounce and steal the poor girls panties for her master when she found herself tackled to the ground by some man cat thing. It managed to take a bite out of her before she was able to throw it off.

Rei was startled. One moment Ranma, Shampoo, and Makoto were calmly walking towards them, then the next Ranma had transformed into his (admittedly sexy) hybrid form and charged them. He was moving so fast that she didn't even get a chance to scream before he'd jumped over them and hit something that was behind them. She whipped her head around just in time to see Ranma getting thrown off of a large tuna okonomiyaki with legs, arms and a face. She also guessed that the bumps around it's center were supposed to be breasts.

She didn't have much time to think as the piece that Ranma had ripped out regenerated. Ranma had flipped over and was down on all fours with his tail wagging in the air. The piece of the monster that he'd ripped out was no where to be seen.

"Hey Makoto it's a giant tuna okonomiyaki!" He yelled before he lunged at the monster again.

Okonomix made a lucky dodge and was able to just miss the claws that the cat guy popped out. She still couldn't believe that he'd actually eaten a piece of her! She didn't have much time to think as the guy lunged at her again. This time he missed by a mile. She was about to start gloating about how some stupid cat creature couldn't defeat a great youma like her when she was tackled from behind by a female cat thing. Then the male jumped on as well. 

Rei was silently fascinated and revolted at what she was seeing. In the past they had always just killed the monsters and they had turned to dust. Never before had she seen one of them actually being eaten. 

"Hey Ami is this just weird to you?" She said as she looked over at her friend. 

Ami was sitting there with a glazed expression on her face. There was a bit of drool running down her chin. Amidst the technical drawings with symbols that she had no idea what they meant and the long equations that would give most mathematicians a headache was a little doodle of Ami shoving the large handle of her BFG into...

Rei took a step away from Ami reminding herself to never offer to hold Ami's gun.

When she turned back she saw Ranma and Makoto both laying on their backs their stomachs distended from eating way too much. Ranma let off a loud belch that scared a couple of birds out of their nests. Makoto answered a few seconds later with a belch so loud it ruffled Ami's hair. Shampoo came up beside her.

"Remind Shampoo to never get between Airens and fish. Can lose hand." 

Rei just nodded dumbly. 

Ranma got to his feet slowly then helped Makoto her hers. He shifted back to his human form and started fixing his shirt.

"Hey change back Usagi and Minako are coming." He said as he stared off toward the entrance to the park.

"How do you know Usagi's coming?" Rei asked watching Makoto change back. Unlike Ranma, who's stomach went flat again when he changed back, Makoto's was still distended. 

"I heard Usagi trip over a pocky wrapper." Ranma replied waving at the two girls.

Usagi waved back then started running towards the rest of the group somehow avoiding all of the pitfalls in her path. She immediately stopped by Makoto and started squealing like a... well... girl.

"Omygawd Omygawd, EEEEEEE! Makoto I didn't know you were pregnant!" She squealed. Ranma fainted at pregnant.

"I'm pregnant? But... we used protection! Oh no what am I going to do!"

Rei came up behind Usagi and smacked her on the back of her stupid blond head. 

"Usagi you idiot! She's not pregnant!" She yelled causing Usagi's long ponytails to flail in the wind.

"I'm not pregnant?" Makoto said with a hint of relief.

"No you're just fat porky." Rei said as she poked her finger into Makoto's belly.

Of course at this time Usagi had caught up to the program.

"So she's just fat?" She said as she too started poking Makoto in the stomach. 

"She's just fat?" Ranma said as he sat up.

He immediately went back down as Makoto and Shampoo kicked him in the head from opposite sides. 

Minako decided that now as a good time to voice her opinion.

"So what did you eat? A cow?"

"No she and lover boy here just ate the latest youma." Rei stated.

Usagi and Minako turned to look at Makoto.

"We missed breakfast ok we were kinda hungry." She trailed off mumbling about yummy tuna monsters.

Minako turned back to Rei.

"You mean they actually ate one of the monsters that we fight?"

Rei just nodded.

"Shampoo wish they save her some. Shampoo hungry too." She pouted. "Maybe get Airens to buy too too delicious lunch and they no eat."

"I'll go for that. I'm so full I don't think I'll be able to eat anything for a few days."

"Lunch?" Ranma said as he popped up.

"You're still hungry? You just ATE a whole monster!" Rei yelled.

"Only three quarters. Besides we missed breakfast today. I was hungry ok."

Rei turned to Makoto.

"Makoto I don't suggest you have kids with him. If you do there won't be enough food left for the rest of us." Rei said with a smirk on her face.

"Hey!" 

"Ranma do eat lot just like father but Ranma also use lots of energy." Shampoo said with a happy smile on her face as she not too subtly suggested what he should use his energy on.

"Ahh anyway we're all here. Shouldn't we be getting to the amusement park soon." Ranma suggested getting kind of uncomfortable with the innuendo being tossed around. Just once he wished that Ryoga was around so that he could have a good fight instead of being with the girls.

Ryoga was of course in San Francisco which he mistook for Shanghai.

Ranma and the girls ambled off towards the subway that would take them to a connecting train. It would take them quite a while to make it to Tokyo Disney. 

----------------------------------

Unnoticed by all of them was the person hiding in the bushes.

Ukyo had taken the day off leaving Konatsu and her new hired help to watch the restaurant. She knew that Ranma now lived with his mother in Juuban so as his best friend she felt that she needed to visit him and check out the competition... I mean see how he was doing. She was dressed in her usual okonomiyaki seller's uniform with her bandoleer of spatula shuriken and her big ass spatula strapped to her back. For some reason she chose to wear a bra today accentuated with a bit of tissue paper that she'd picked up from some of the local advertisers on the street. Sufficed to say she was about a cup size bigger by the time she got to the bus stop.

She got off the bus near a park in Juuban and decided to walk the rest of they way to Mrs. Saotome's house. As she was passing the gates to the park a disturbance caught her eye. A ways down the path there were two cat creatures eating something on the ground just like a couple of large cats that she saw on a documentary a few days ago. The only problem was that they looked like a cross between a human and maybe a jaguar or a puma. That and they were wearing clothes. The female had on a green skirt that would have been knee length on her but was a mini on the cat creature. Her white blouse had tears in it that looked to straight to be natural so she guessed they were manufactured into the garments design. The male had on a pair of black kung fu pants and a red tang shirt just like Ranma used to wear all the time. These too had pre-made tear zones. 

Suddenly she realized that she might be their next meal if she stayed out in the open like this so she quickly jumped into a nearby bush and continued to observe the situation. 

From the cover of her bush she was able to see a bench with two girls sitting on it. The one with blue hair was seemingly engrossed in some kind of pornography from the glassy eyed drooling expression she had on her face. She was totally oblivious to the carnage taking place not five feet from her. The other was a girl with long black hair who was apparently too scared to move. Ukyo hoped that she snapped out of it soon, she really didn't want to play hero today. That and the fact that from the stories that she'd heard only the sailor scouts could fight these monsters.

All of a sudden another girl came into Ukyo's field of vision. She had to quickly slap her hands over her mouth to stifle the gasp that came out of her mouth. It was Shampoo! She was torn between wanting to go out there and save her often time rival or let her get eaten by the cat monsters. That was until she saw her strike up a conversation with the girl with black hair. Apparently she wasn't as shocked as she had originally guessed.

Then as quickly as it started it was over. There was nothing left of whatever the cats were eating. No bones, no skin, nothing. The male then stood up and Ukyo had to clamp her hands over her mouth again, this time to prevent him from hearing her scream as the cat monster changed back into Ranma. Two other blond girls showed up and some stuff happened but she wasn't paying much attention. Her mind was awhirl with possible scenarios of why Ranma was a cat monster. Everything from aliens to possession crossed her mind as she silently watched the progression leave the park. She eventually settled on following them and finding out.

If he was possessed she'd free him. If he was slain and replaced by a doppelganger she'd avenge him. If he was captured by aliens...

She always did hate those anal probes and besides they'd let him go eventually.

--------------------------------------

Back at the procession only Ranma got the distinct feeling that they were being followed but every time he looked around he couldn't spot their pursuer. Eventually he asked Shampoo if she felt anything but she replied that he was being too paranoid. He still tried to catch a glimpse every so often but whoever was stalking them was very, very good at that task.

Ukyo was not having a very good time trying to follow them. She was using every sneaking trick that she knew of, even Ranma's cling to the ceiling and hope they don't look up trick. She was fairly certain that it was Ranma but he was possessed in some fashion. She had never tried to trail Ranma without him knowing it but it was turning out to be as tough as she imagined it to be. If she didn't live with Konatsu and had picked up on a couple of his ninja techniques she would have been spotted several times already. Back in Nerima he had crazy's coming out of the woodwork either out for his blood or other bodily fluids depending on the gender of the crazy. He once told her that paranoid people only thought that people were after him. He was certain that they were.

After a few near misses she managed to get all the way to Tokyo Disney without him spotting her. Damn it now she owed Konatsu a coke.

-----------------------------------

As Ranma and the girls approached the gates they were not surprised to see only a scattered number of people lined up to get in. Granted it was early on a Sunday but with the general lack of people was a good indicator that the park may shut down soon. They all got their admissions and their ride tickets and went inside. Nobody noticed Ukyo in the next line also getting her tickets.

Once they got inside they were greeted by Mickey Mouse. 

After they managed to pry Ranma off the gangly teenager they decided to split up for a bit and meet later at one of the rides. Since Makoto and Ranma owed Shampoo some food they took off in one group. The rest of the girls decided to go on some of the rides. Usagi eventually convinced them to start off with the teacups.

In one of the concession areas Shampoo was trying to decide between the hamburger or the super deluxe mystery meal. Right now she was leaning towards the mystery meal because it was unknown. As she was approaching the counter she heard a cat meowing from the back. As she came even closer she heard the employee at the front tell somebody in the back to keep the specials quiet.

Shampoo did a u turn and walked right past a bewildered Ranma and Makoto.

"Hey what's wrong?" Ranma asked as he and Makoto caught up.

"Only cat Shampoo want to eat is you two." 

"Uhh well we are in a public place and all..." Ranma started.

"Some people think it's kinky to do it in a public place. The thrill of getting caught and all." Makoto continued. 

"Shampoo just say she no want eat cat!" She protested.

"That's all right we'll just stay in human form. Right?" Ranma said with a smile on his face as he grabbed one of Shampoo's arms.

"Of course." Makoto said as she grabbed her other arm.

Shampoo lost the will to protest as the two of them dragged her off for a quick snack inside the American history exhibit. They chose that one because there was virtually no chance they'd get caught as nobody went there. They still had no idea they were being trailed.

-------------------------------------

As soon as she was through the gate Ukyo took up a hiding position. She watched as Ranma pounced on the guy in the Mickey suit like a cat would pounce on a mouse. She then followed them until they broke up and went their separate ways. She was now certain that something was up. The two girls that were there when the possessed Ranma and the other girl were cat creatures weren't screaming in terror so they were either in on it or they were brainwashed minions. The only thing she couldn't quite figure out yet was why Shampoo was going along with this.

Oh well spy first, figure out what to do later.

She followed the trio into one of the off the track areas in the George Washington area. She positioned herself on one of the beams and settled in for a long wait. After about five minutes, monsters or not, she really wanted to just jump down there, tear off her clothes and jump right in. But no she had to remain vigilant. 

She lasted ten minutes before she had to ahem relieve some stress herself.

After about half an hour or so of their little romp they finally finished up. Shampoo who was the main recipient of their combined attention was looking quite haggard. They got cleaned up and were walking out of the exhibit. Luckily for Ukyo they weren't in their cat forms or they would have heard the muffled whimpers from the rafters.

Of course the guy who came to check the reported leak in the roof got quite a bit more than he bargained for.

Once outside Shampoo started off towards one of the food stands. She was immediately framed by Makoto and Ranma who still had those stupid 'I just got laid and I want the whole world to know about it' smiles permanently plastered to their faces. 

"So where are you going?" Makoto asked as she let loose a purr that had a couple of people looking at her strange.

"Shampoo still hungry."

"Damn girl you're insatiable." Makoto replied as she and Ranma dragged her off for another make out session.

"Shampoo just want cheeseburger." She said as she was dragged off by the two horny cats. They should have been were bunnies instead.

Much later the three of them emerged from yet another exhibit. Ranma was carrying a thoroughly exhausted Shampoo while Makoto was clinging to his right arm and purring up a storm. Pluto and Donald decided, wisely enough, to keep the hell away from the weird trio. (Well that and they'd seen what they guy had done to Mickey and since their last two paycheques bounced they weren't getting paid enough to do this.) As they walked towards the appointed meeting place Makoto got Shampoo a big four liter jug of Gatorade to help with the dehydration and a couple of deep-fried fish on sticks for energy. Sufficed to say Shampoo was nursing on the Gatorade bottle like a newborn sucks on it's mother's teat.

By the time they reached the designated meeting place Shampoo had recovered enough to at least stand on her own feet. She of course had training wheels on as she was framed on both sides by Ranma and Makoto. Since she'd just eaten the food still hadn't been given a chance to even start digesting to give her energy, that combined with the fact that she'd just had to perform some strenuous activities meant that she was getting really tired. Well that and Makoto's purring was like a soothing lullaby. 

Of course that was before her nose caught the scent of something absolutely vial. She quickly shot to her feet and looked around to try and pinpoint the smell.

Coming around the corner were the girls. All of them were wet and looking miserable. Usagi's ponytails were leaving a slime trail behind her while Minako's shoes were making a squishing sound as she walked.

Oh yes and one can't forget the stink lines emanating from each and every one of them.

When they got closer the two cats had to hold their noses while Shampoo had opted to shove the napkins that came with her fish up her nose to prevent the stench from causing her to lose her life-giving sustenance.

Ranma was just about to ask what happened to them when Ami held out her notepad. On it were a few diagrams labelled a, b, and c. Diagram a was a picture of Usagi pigging out on what he guessed was super large cokes, large bowls of ramen, sushi, etc. Diagram b looked like a fat Usagi with a little pig tail getting onto the crazy teacups with the rest of them.

Diagram c was a force vector diagram with equations on the centrifugal force related to the projectile vomit in their relative frame of reference. The only thing he understood was the trail of puke emanating from Usagi's mouth.

"Uhh I think you could get hosed off somewhere around here." Makoto said as she pointed towards the staff showers. "Hey Ranma could you go get them something to wear? Shampoo I'll need a hand." Makoto said as she took charge of the situation.

Ranma dashed off to the gift store to buy the girls something to wear. Their clothes would probably have to be burned after this anyway. Shampoo and Makoto led the other girls off towards the showers at the pool making sure that they kept upwind all the way. Without Ranma there they never even noticed their pursuer. 

-----------------------------------

Ukyo had decided to follow the girls since Ranma would eventually have to rendezvous with them. The situation was getting stranger and stranger by the minute. For the life of her she couldn't figure out why the girls were not afraid of the cat monsters. Admittedly one of them was her possessed Ranchan but still...

She followed them to the shower room. She watched as the girls stripped and got into the shower area. Shampoo was left with disposal duty of the soiled clothing. She watched as the girl Makoto got a hose and started hosing down the other girls. It took a while but eventually it looked like they were all cleaned off. They also didn't smell as bad as they did before. After drying off under the dryers they were treated to the sight o Ranma in his female form walking into the changing area. He of course had blindfolded himself. Surprisingly enough he never tripped over anything and was walking as smooth as silk like he normally walked.

"Ahh well I couldn't find much at the gift shop but they were having a going out of business sale on today! I just hope that these fit because there are no returns." He said as he started passing out clothes the girls.

To Usagi he passed out a white t-shirt with a Chibi Sailor Moon on it, a pair of tight shorts with a crescent moon on it and a pair of sneakers. Ami got the same combo but with a Sailor Mercury motif. Minako got Venus, and Rei got Mars.

All in all the irony could be tasted in the air.

And irony tastes like chicken.

When he was done passing out the clothes Makoto was staring at him expecting her umm boyfriend to have had enough foresight to complete the set. When he hesitated she knew something was up.

"So Ranma where's my shirt?" She asked her voice as sweet as pure beet sugar. 

He immediately started sweating. This was not good.

He reached into the bag and pulled out a Sailor Pluto and a Sailor Saturn t-shirts. Makoto's glare went up a notch. Even though Ranma couldn't see her through the blindfold he started sweating even more.

"Would you care to explain why you got a Saturn and Pluto shirts instead of Jupiter?" She said, her tone had enough ice in it that the water on the floor turned to ice. Usagi fall down go boom.

"Umm well you see... It's a really funny story aaaa..." Ranma would need some serious drink after this.

"When I went to the store they kinda didn't have any Jupiter shirts. I asked for them I really did but the guy behind the corner said... there was no demand for them." He said the last part a bit rushed and in as low a voice as he could.

It can not be said that Ranma was a stupid man just a bit uneducated. For instance he'd lived with an irate girl with a hair trigger temper for about a year and during that time he'd learned a few of the warning signs for when a girl was about to go off. First their battle aura bloomed around them even if they had no training. Shampoo was currently roasting marshmallows from the heat coming off her co-wife. Check. The scream of rage was replaced by a bestial growl. Ok that was new but not unexpected. The third thing was reaching into their dimensional space and retrieving their mallet of justice that all girls possessed. Instead of a large wooden pervert basher though she retrieved her henshin pen.

"Juu...mph" 

She was tackled by Shampoo who slammed her hand over her mouth. The rest of the girls except Ranma dog piled on top to help hold the irate girl down. 

Once they managed to calm her down (it took several tries) they all left the showers. Ranma silently reminding himself to go shopping later and find as much Sailor Jupiter stuff as he could. Makoto was scary when she was angry.

-----------------------------------

They decided that a few more rides wouldn't hurt since Ranma, Makoto and Shampoo still hadn't gone on any. When questioned what they were doing the simultaneous reply was 'eating'. 

Usagi of course wanted to go back on the teacups but she was outvoted easily by the rest of the group. They eventually settled on the haunted house. 

Once inside they stuck together as a group. The girls took turns jumping into his arms when they were frightened much to the dismay of Makoto and Shampoo who ere made of sterner stuff and were not as easily frightened.

The animatronic werewolf didn't last long against ki charged claws.

They moved on quickly after that. 

-----------------------------------

Ukyo who was still tailing them watched as Ranma once again transformed into the cat monster and destroyed one of the animatronic robots with what looked like the neko ken. Ok if she wasn't sure before this clinched it. Ranma couldn't use the Neko ken unless he was scarred by a cat so badly that he thought of himself as a cat. 

She said her prayers to every god and goddess that she could think of. If she was going into battle versus the forces of darkness she would need all the help she could get. She tightened her bandoleer of mini spatulas and adjusted her battle spatula.

She would save Ranma from that evil cat monster or die trying. That's what friends did after all.

"Groovy."

-----------------------------------

Outside the haunted house Makoto was giving the girls a dressing down. Everyone including Usagi was looking embarrassed. Makoto was just getting into her tirade about how Ami did not have to grab his ass when that vampire had popped out at them when a horrifying sound was heard.

"Bark!" Boomed over the street they were on.

The cats jumped and looked around. No mere dog would scare them like this.

The twelve foot tall monsterfied Pluto doll that came around the corner was no mere dog.

"Ahh I just remembered that I've got to be somewhere else." Ranma said nervously, the cat in him starting to act up.

"I think I'll join you." Makoto said as the two of them turned tail and ran like hell only transforming after a few blocks.

"What's with those two?" Usagi asked. 

Ami who was scanning the latest monster with her computer had an answer. "It's putting out a fear aura. I can feel it a bit but it seems to affect felines to a greater degree."

"Then why Shampoo not affected?"

"It's probably because you're not really a cat you just turn into one." Ami said as she finished up her scan. The Pluto dog was currently taking a wizz on one of the buildings. "Well we're in luck magic will hurt it." She said as she and the others ducked into an alleyway to transform. 

Four flashy transformations ensued. 

"Aren't you going to transform?" Usagi asked Shampoo.

"Shampoo think she sit this one out." She said nervously.

"Come on we'll probably need your help." Minako said with a smile on her face thinking that if she fired off that coin attack again they'd have money to go to the arcade here.

"Fine Shampoo help. Amalthea Power Make Up!"

The sound of a 39 dodge trying to start up in the middle of winter at minus 25 Celsius greeted their ears while a screen came up showing a Barney rerun blocked their view of the transformation.

When it was all done Sailor Amalthea stood among them.

Of course the Tuxedo mask outfit complete with cane accessory and mask was not what she was expecting.

"At least is better than dominatrix outfit. Ok Amalthea fight evil now." She said as she jumped to the rooftop.

"She's just going to stay up there throwing out encouraging words and not get into the fight isn't she?" Rei asked, poking fun at Usagi's boyfriend. 

"Mamo chan does a lot more than that and you know it!" Usagi replied. She had to defend her man after all.

"Yeah he has to save your ass all the time." Rei quipped.

"Let's just go before that monster actually hurts somebody." Usagi said as she stomped out of the alley and towards the monster.

The others followed right behind her. They knew the drill well. Monster appears, transform, stomp monster, repeat as needed. Sure enough the monster was still whizzing on the building when they got out. 

"All right so who wants to take first shot at it?" Rei asked warming up a flame sniper to be fired off at a moments notice.

"I'll do it." Minako said as she stepped forward.

"All right you bad doggie prepare to get fried. Love and Beauty Shock!" She yelled out as she tossed the golden heart at the dog youma. 

Plutor caught her attack in his mouth then trotted over to where she was and dropped it at her feet where it promptly exploded. He barked then started chasing a butterfly destroying buildings as it went.

"Uhh Mercury how did it do that?" Usagi asked as she watched Mars go over to check on Venus.

"Well Pluto is a golden retriever so I guess his natural instincts are to retrieve things." She was just glad it was Venus that volunteered to go first so that she could come up with a masterful plan.

"Amelthea try your magic!" Ami yelled up. If she was wearing a Tuxedo Mask costume maybe she got his roses that tended to mildly annoy the enemy so that they could get a clear shot with their much superior magic.

"Fine I try." She yelled back.

Shampoo was more than a little hesitant about using any of her magic or for that case transforming into this mish mash warrior in the first place. The lack of consistency was getting to her. As a martial artist she was used to her attacks functioning the same way every single time she used them. To have something different happen every time she wanted to attack was dangerous. If she ever needed a big bang spell to go off would she die or would it just toss koosh balls at the enemy? She would have to 'speak' with pervert senshi about this.

Oh well enough bitching time to get down to business and hope nothing goes wrong.

"Magic do something!" She yelled as she tossed her hands forward.

Three dozen single white roses flew from her outstretched hands and impacted in the area of the youma. About twenty or so actually hit but they just bounced off. The monster even had the nerve to stop chasing the butterfly and smell the roses.

"Stupid fucking magic!" She yelled in Mandarin.

A white beam of light shot from her outstretched hand and impacted the still immobile Plutor. His entire body turned to stone.

Her index finger suddenly got very itchy.

Down on the ground Venus had been revived and they were watching Shampoo try out her magic again. When she tossed out the roses Usagi went on a rant about how she stole her boyfriend's attack. They heard her yell out something in what they guessed was Chinese and then the beam of light struck the monster turning it to stone. They watched as Shampoo calmly walked up to the monster and poked it in the chest just a little off center.

They had to quickly shield themselves as the monster exploded violently peppering the entire area in rock shards.

"Feel much better now." She said as she skipped off to change back.

"You know when Ranma told us that her favorite way of getting into a place was through the walls." Mars said with a sweat drop on her head.

"Yeah." Moon replied.

"I think I'm going to hide that porno tape of them really, really well."

The other three girls nodded their heads solemnly.

------------------------------------

Meanwhile our two scardy cats were starting to calm down as they got away from the fear aura that the monster was putting out. They stopped by a takoyaki stand. The proprietor looked at them for a few seconds then just dismissed them as being in costume. Although he hadn't heard of them doing a Lion King play today. Ahh the life of a simple businessman.

Once they caught their breath, not from running but from that stupid fear aura, they realized that they were a little too high up in the air. They calmly walked off trying to act as inconspicuous as possible. Of course they just had to run into a couple of tourists that just had to get pictures with every costumed character even though they had no idea of the series. In order to not blow their cover they were forced to pose for pictures. Makoto was accosted a few more times buy guys that were a little too sweaty for their own good. Of course she only hit the one guy whose hand roamed a little too far south for its own good.

"Perverts all of them." Makoto growled as they finally made it to the safety of the alley.

"I still say you should have let me pound him!" Ranma protested.

"Yeah well I don't think he'll be trying anything like that anytime soon especially with his hand in the shape it's in." She smiled an evil, evil smile.

He shuddered at this and vowed that if he ever pissed her off like that he'd be in his hybrid form. He'd heal faster that way.

"So do you think we should change back?" Ranma asked nervously.

"Yeah I think we sh..." 

She was cutoff as a shadow descended from above. Ranma looked up just in time to get a face full of spatula. He dropped to the ground momentarily stunned. 

The attacker turned around and assumed an attack stance. Makoto was able to see that Ranma was just a little dazed and that he had a demon ward taped to his face with duct tape. Upon closer inspection she could see the Mickey Mouse symbol on it. Makoto got into a defensive stance and took stock of her opponent.

The girl was about average height which to Makoto's 6' 10" wasn't all that significant. Her brown hair, which was about the same shade as Makoto's used to be, was tied back into a ponytail with a white ribbon. She was wearing a blue street vendor's outfit complete with tights. Across her substantial chest was strapped a bandoleer filled with what looked like mini spatulas. In her hands she held a very, very large spatula. It wasn't silvered but it looked like it would still hurt if she was hit by it. 

Then the unknown girl spoke.

"Don't worry Ranchan I'll save you from this big boobed demon bitch!" She said as she readied herself to attack.

"Big..." A fierce growl escaped her throat like that of a pissed off alley cat.

"Boobed..." Claws that could rend steel were extended.

"Demon....." Battle aura engaged.

"BITCH!" Her eyes started glowing red. Candy Apple red Chevrolet paint scheme 1999-2004. 

Ukyo was a fully trained martial artist able to stand down a psycho killer without batting an eye, so it is to her credit that it took a full 19.653 seconds for her to lose bowel and bladder control and soil herself.

When the hand fell on her shoulder she screamed like a little girl before another hand was clamped over her mouth. She was spun around and came face to chest with the Ranma monster. She tried to struggle but the thing had a grip like iron. She decided that valour was the better part of discretion and kneed her attacker in the groin as hard as she could. Instead of letting her go like she'd hoped he took his hand off her mouth and put it on her other shoulder. He gripped both her shoulders with enough force to actually cause her pain. The monster sank to his knees and subsequently forced her down too. 

"That was low Ucchan." He said.

"Ranma is that really you? What the hell is going on here? Just what the hell is this? Why the hell are you a cat?" She said as she tried to figure out just what the hell was going on.

"Ya it's me. I guess I have some explaining to do. It's a really funny story if you think about it. You see it turns out that Mom was a were-cheetah and that makes me one too." He said as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

Makoto was standing in the background she was still fuming about being called a big boobed demon bitch. Seeing Ranma get sacked by the new girl just fueled her desire to kill the interloper even more. The only thing holding her back was the fact that Ranma seemed to know her from somewhere. He had better start explaining soon or else she was going to let her claws do the talking. She decided to stay back for now and see what would happen. If the new girl laid one more finger on her man she would put the smack down something fierce. Can you smell what the rock is cooking?

For the next six minutes Ranma gave Ukyo a quick rundown on the events of the past couple of weeks. Makoto was waiting in the wings listening to make sure that he didn't say too much. He gave just a quick overview of what had happened excluding Senshi business. He also didn't put in their sexual escapades like when Shampoo and Makoto did when they had their little talk with Kasumi and Nabiki. When it was over his nuts were healed and he stood back up to his full height seven feet 2 inches. He towered over her by quite a large margin. Much more so than when he was in Nerima only a few weeks passed.

He nodded to Makoto signaling to change back. Once she was safely back in her human form, he change back as well. Ukyo was amazed by this even though she'd seen it several times before. She didn't quite know what to think about it yet. Although that cat form of his was quite exotic she couldn't wait to see what her friend had in those tight pants of his. Although if she was guessing correctly that other girl, correction, that other cat girl just might be his other mate. Then there was Shampoo to contend with. She knew that Shampoo was quite protective of her things and that she could get quite uppity when her position as Ranma's wife was challenged. But if Ranma was willing to accept two wives why not a third? Genma still had not made restitution for his engaging her to Ranma. All she had to do was refuse and maybe a little sleight of hand and just maybe she'd be able to join up as No. 3. Ranma being her friend and all that shouldn't be too much of a problem. Then again, if it was anything like Nerima then she would have her work cut out for her. But then again she'd chased him for 10 bloody years...

Ukyo Kuonji doesn't give up that easily.

"Hey Ranma who is she?" Makoto asked with enough venom to kill a cobra 10 times over.

"This is Ukyo I told you about her haven't I? Although what she's doing here I don't quite know. What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Oh you know I just wanted to get out of Nerima for the day. I was going to see you to see how you are doing but…." She hesitated.

"But what?" Ranma asked wondering what his friend was hiding.

"I uhh saw you and her" indicating Makoto "attack and eat that monster in the park this morning. I didn't know what to think so I decided to follow you and find out just what the hell was going on. I just wanted to help I mean in Nerima weird things happened so I didn't know about you being a were-cheetah I just thought you were possessed or something. You know it was an easier answer like when your cursed form was dragging you off every night and draining your energy." 

Ukyo still felt malevolence coming from the girl she now knew as Makoto. She hastily thought to add

"Uhh sorry for calling you a demon bitch."

"What about the big boobed part?" Makoto said tapping her foot expectantly.

Ukyo giggled as she reached into her bra and started pulling out lots of tissue paper. Ranma almost had a nosebleed but kept it in check because he had seen Makoto and Shampoo in much less.

"Well sugar that part you kind of got down. I must admit I'm jealous, the only girl I'm actually bigger than is Akane and that's not saying much."

Makoto turned on Ranma and glared at him. Ranma gulped and started scratching the back of his head.

"Well you gotta admit she does have a point." The glare intensified. "But don't get me wrong I really like your big rack. Even though I bigger when I'm a girl." The glare could melt reinforced titanium now. "I just fucked up didn't I?" Makoto nodded. "This is going to cost me big-time isn't it?" She nodded again. "I'm doomed aren't I?"

The grin on Makoto's face was something more along the lines of when she ate that monster this morning. Ranma got a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew that he wouldn't be getting much sleep that night.

"So uhh Ucchan I guess this is where we break up?" He asked hopefully.

"Actually Ranma I was heading over your place to speak to your mother about a few things. I was wondering if I could accompany you?"

Ranma looked over to where Makoto was still giving him the death glare. He decided that if he was screwed, he would be screwed all the way.

"Yeah sure let's just go get the other girl's and we'll go." He started to turn to walk away but Ukyo brought him up short.

"The day is still young we are here at Tokyo Disney why don't we have some fun? That is why you're here anyway?"

"Uhh sure fun I guess. Let's just go find the other girl's." He started walking without looking back because he knew if he did he would instantly turn to ash. Sort of like a vampire getting a billion watt suntan.

After walking around for some time they eventually found the other girl's standing in line for one of the rides. Amazingly enough it was Shampoo who suggested the teacups again since she had never been on them before. She was quickly shot down as none of the other girl's wanted to play projectile vomit catcher again. Shampoo immediately saw Ukyo and went into a defensive stance. Ukyo did her best to try to hide behind Ranma of course this put her directly into Makoto's line of glare. Today wasn't turning out to be her day.

"What spatula girl doing here?!" Shampoo demanded. All the girls were after her husband this was just getting stupid. She'd almost need to hire 24-hour security just to keep the other girl's away.

"I was on my way to Mrs. Saotome's house when I uhh saw some things and I kind of followed you guys to find out what the hell was going on. I found Ranma and Makoto and they kind of explained everything to me." She made a swiping gesture like a cat. All the girls suddenly understood just what happened.

"So she knows now. What are you going to do?" Asked Usagi.

"She knows some of it we didn't have time to explain everything. She's coming over to my mom's house to do some things. I guess I can give her the 'whole story' then." Ranma replied.

The girls all nodded their heads knowing that their big secret still hadn't been blown. They would have to accompany him of course. It had absolutely nothing to do with his mom's awesome cooking. No nothing at all. Usagi could almost taste the zebra right now. The other girls backed off a bit as she started to drool. You could lose a finger or maybe even your whole arm if you got to close to her when she started getting into a feeding frenzy mode.

The rest of the day went without incident. Ok almost without incident. They rode many rides, ate much food, and lost most of it in freak puke attacks. Luckily all the projectile vomit missed everybody in their group... The procession of lawyers that was behind them however... Let's just say karmic justice was done that day. As they rode back to Ranma's house he got a dreadful feeling of foreboding almost as if the fourth wall was about to be broken. But of course as long as he didn't talk about the fourth wall nothing would happen. As they walked up to the gates all of they noticed that Setsuna, Nodoka, and Walter along with his two Amazon wives were sitting on the back deck drinking themselves stupid. Cologne was sitting on top of Genma's head looking like she was having a grand old time. Genma looked like he had just seen the third coming and was ready to commit his soul to hell for all eternity just to get out of that situation. Ukyo had to resist th e urge to grab her battle spatula and send him on his merry way to those lower levels. She only resisted because her main plan depended on not taking her revenge on the fat bastard.

As the group walked up the noticed that the adults were mainly drinking hard liquor and some other substances that were not readily identifiable. If they had known that Nodoka was drinking blood wine they probably would have run for the hills or grab their transformation wands and blast her. But of course they just thought it was a Caesar. As they got closer Setsuna beckoned them over. When they had reached the area she stood up with great difficulty and went to the bar on the deck to get each of them some glasses and more booze.

"Come on have a drink." She slurred.

"Uhh none of us are old enough to drink." Ami said with a little hesitation in her voice.

"Already called your parents said that you're going to stay over tonight. What they don't know won't hurt them right? Long as you don't tell we's all going to have a good time." Staying vertical was getting more difficult all the time.

"Great-grandmother is it okay?" Shampoo asked. She had always been told that alcohol was a bad thing that it dulled your reflexes and the warrior should stay away from the stuff.

"Of course it is dearie, as long as you only do it once in a while unlike this fat fool." She said as she upended an entire bottle of Smirnov. Little did she know how much she looked like Happosai in that moment.

Let it be said that Ranma never backs down from a challenge so when Shampoo challenged him to drinking competition he beat her then Makoto then Ukyo. Pretty good for somebody who'd never drank before. Of course the other girls didn't fare so well.

At the end of the night the only one who is still up was Setsuna. Centuries of drinking the best and the brightest of humanity under the table had given her an almost immunity to the effects of alcohol. Her evil plan would be that much easier to carry off. Of course those drugs that she'd slipped into the kids drinks wouldn't hurt either.

Do I make you randy baby?

Oh the things she did for the timeline.

-------------------------------

Author's notes:

Well here it is chapter what is it 7? I am so sorry that this took so long to get out. I came down with some weird disease the doctors still don't know what the hell it was. I seem to be all better now but I lost two weeks of work. During that two weeks for a week and a half I couldn't stand up straight without puking. Sitting up was almost as bad so that meant no writing either. Before that my muse decided that it was going to take a holiday oh joy. Then after I get back at work I find that they've put in a policy that bans all electronic devices from the operations floor. This means my PDA is now illegal and since I did all of my writing at work this just shot everything to hell. What I've decided to do is write at home however since I don't want to take too much time out of my at home life I've gotten DragonDictate 6.0. It seems to work quite well and I can usually talk faster than I can type... Usually. I'm currently seeing what I can do to get the no electron ic devices rule change at work. God I had forgotten exactly how boring my job actually is without anything to do. Worst-case scenario is that I use DragonDictate at home and actually come out with ideas at work and write them on paper instead of just half ass winging it as I go as I used to do.

End of File


	8. Chapter 8a

Diskuramer: Any similarities to real or imagined events are fictional. I claim no ownership of the characters presented within.

Chapter 8: Along came a spyder

The morning started off with rain lightly pattering against the window of Ranma's room. It was a pleasant sound that would lull the awake to asleep and keep the asleep calmed and dead to the world. Except, of course, if one needed to go to the bathroom then it sounded like... well you get the idea.

This was how Ranma greeted the day as a semi urgent need to release the pressure valves on his bladder. The second thing that he noticed was that he was in his half cheetah form and that he was naked and really tired. The last time this had happened was when the girls dragged him off for a night of rutting. Looking to his left then right he noted that he was framed yet again by a naked Shampoo and Makoto confirming his suspicions about a night of heavy activity. It was something of a regular occurrence now that he would find them sleeping next to him, and something that he knew that he'd miss if he ever woke up and they weren't there beside him.

That wasn't important right at this minute. What was important was he had to take a leak and they were framing him so he couldn't get out. Sighing because he knew the only way to get free would be to wake them and he was really reluctant to do that. Giving up he decided to nudge Shampoo first. After a bit of stimulation her eyes fluttered open. They were bloodshot like his probably were from staying up way too late and getting up way too early.

"What Airen want? Is too too early." Shampoo said in that tired morning voice.

"Could you let go I've got to go to the bathrrrroom." He replied indicating his trapped arm.

"Fine. Shampoo go back to sleep now." She mumbled as she turned over onto her other side and went back to sleep.

Now Ranma turned to Makoto and started nudging her.

"Wh wnt?" She said still more than 3/4 asleep.

"Turrrn overrr I want to get up." Ranma said softly as she too was in hybrid form.

She turned away from him subsequently releasing his other arm.

Now that he was free all he had to do was quietly sneak out of bed, piss, and then come back so they could reabsorb him into their little cuddle session. Now all he had to do was get rid of that pressure on his abdomen and nether regions.

"Wait a minute."

He looked to his left and saw Shampoo facing away from him. He looked to his right and saw Makoto in the same position. He looked down and saw a lump where there shouldn't have been one. He ripped off the covers and looked down afraid of what he'd find.

Ukyo Naked Signs of 'activity' = he was so going to die.

Due to a sudden drop in temperature due in part to a sudden loss of a blanket shocked the three sleeping girls wide awake. Makoto and Shampoo were the first to voice their displeasure at being woken up in such a manor.

"What the hell!??" Makoto screeched.

"Airen better have good explanation about why wake up wife or else." Shampoo said in a deadly calm voice punctuating her statement with a non silverednon-silvered dagger to his throat.

Instead of answering he decided to address a more important issue.

"Morrrning Ucchan. Umm what arrre you doing herrre?"

"Mmm Ranchan?" She said as her eyes fluttered open. "I'm not in my bed am I?"

"Uhh no."

"That's not my stuffed animal snake is it?"

"Again uhh no."

"I'm pretty sore you know down there. Did we...?"

Ranma looked at the used condom stuck to the ceiling, the two stuck to the door and the three stuck to the glass on his TV.

"My sourrrces say yes."

"Airen/Ranma." Shampoo and Makoto growled out at the same time. Strangely enough it was Shampoo that sounded more like the wild animal.

"Don't kill me I'm endangerrred!" Ranma screamed as he felt Shampoo press the dagger harder into his throat.

"Dagger not silver can't kill Airen just make sure he no start wandering like tomcat."

"I'd have to agree. It's always best to nip a problem in the bud before it becomes something serious." She unsheathed her claws. "Do I have to nip?"

"Ahh no, nono no need forrr that." He said nervously as he gently pushed her claws off to a 'safe distance'.

Waking up a bit more Ukyo decided to sit up a bit so that she would be in a more defensible position. She winced as something dug into her insides. She reached in and pulled out the dildo like object. It was a red plastic rod with a green stylized numeral 4 on top. The shaft was sheathed in a condom which after sitting inside her for most of the night was quite thoroughly soaked. All in all it looked like a child's toy that had been turned into an impromptu sex toy.

"What's this thing?" Ukyo asked the other three who were still arguing.

"Oh no not another one." Groaned Makoto as she saw that yet another of the defective Senshi pens had gotten into the hands of yet another of Ranma's old fiancées.

"Shampoo think about go back on word about not kill pervert senshi."

"Senshi? Ranma what is she talking about?" Ukyo asked as she pulled the condom off the shaft and looked at a piece of masking tape that had a name written on it that was taped to the shaft.

Ranma just put his hand to his face to cover his eyes. Maybe if he didn't see it, it wouldn't be real.

"It means that you're now one of the Sailor scouts, a defective one at that. From the looks of it you are the scout of one of my moons." Makoto said as she got up, changed back into her human form then transformed into Sailor Jupiter.

"Y...You're... YOU'RE SAILOR JUPITER!" Ukyo screamed going into fangirl mode. "I'msuchahugefan! Can I get your autograph! No wait I just had sex with THE Sailor Jupiter! Ohmygod ohmygod... (etc)." Ukyo broke down hyperventilating.

Makoto was in a word stunned. Sure there were rabid Sailor Moon fans all over the place. She was their leader and all. It was just that she had never met a Sailor Jupiter fan. It felt really good.

While Makoto was basking in the light of Ukyo's fandom and Shampoo was seething about everybody and their dog wanting to sleep with her husband. Ranma was planning his escape.

Shampoo disengaged Check.

Makoto disengaged Check.

Ukyo disengaged... Mostly check.

All systems ready and lift

"Urk..."

Unfortunately Ukyo still had a good grip on his mooring anchor.

Ranma landed at the foot of the bed. Ukyo had lost her grip about halfway through his arc and as such he was only slightly stretched instead of ripped off. He scrambled into his boxers and took off out the door towards the bathroom before anybody in the room could comment.

Makoto transformed back into her normal form.

When he left the room he left the door wide open. Through said wide open door in tromped the rest of the senshi. They all looked like they had a rough night. Their hair was disheveled and their clothing was rumpled. Not only that but during their rush to get dressed they seemed to have gotten their clothes mixed up as none of the girls were wearing the same thing that they came with.

"I see you guys had a tough night too." Makoto said to her friends.

"Mmm Hmm." Nodded Minako. "Ranma was great." She sighed wistfully as if remembering something.

"It was an... interesting experience." Ami commented blushing like crazy.

Usagi was sniffling.

"Wahhhhhh I cheated on Mamo chan!!!!"

"Shut up Meatball Head!" Rei shouted instantly regretting it. One minute she was lying in her bed in her room, the next she was being ravaged by...

Sufficed to say that her already hair trigger temper was splitting an atom between who would die and who would just suffer.

"You WHAT!!!!" Screamed Makoto as she instinctavly shifted into her hybrid form.

The other girls looked nervous. They had a right to be nervous as Makoto started flipping her claws in and out as she clenched and unclenched her hands. Rei had a coughing fit in response to her situation. Usagi thought she sounded like Luna when she was coughing up a hairball. Makoto rounded on her as she reached into her mouth and pulled several hairs. Makoto was by her side in well under a second and had her wrist locked in a deathgrip.

Her eyes narrowed as she checked over the hairs.

"Blond two different shades, a blue curly, and a... green?" Makoto said as she unconsciously lifted Rei off the ground by her arm.

"Damn it Makoto let go you're hurting me!" Rei cried out.

Makoto dropped Rei like a hot potato and jumped back.

"Oh gods I'm so sorry Rei." Makoto said as she started cowtowing.

"Damn it I think you broke my wrist!" Rei shouted as she used her good hand to pull out her henshin stick and transformed. Of course during all of this she never noticed Ukyo sitting on the bed staring wide eyed at Rei.

Rei of course just turned out of the room and stomped away muttering something about stupid perverted cats. Ukyo turned her wide eyed look on the rest of the girls.

"Umm are you all?" Ukyo asked in a very small voice.

"Ack! How long have you been here! You didn't see anything did you? Please don't tell on us or my mother will ground me! What are you doing here? Did you Ranma, Mako chan, and Shampoo all...?" Usagi managed to get out all in one breath.

"Usagi she's a scout too now." Makoto said dropping her head.

"Oh.... Welcome to the team." Usagi said with a smile. "So you guys were..." She made a gesture that indicated in some vague way they were screwing like bunnies.

"That it. Shampoo kill now." She said as she jumped out of bed grabbed a conveniently placed halbred and went hunting.

"I don't remember much but we found Ukyo in our bed this morning. I think Setsuna has something to do with it because we found another faulty transformation stick with Ukyo this morning. As you know Setsuna has been handing those things out like candy at Halloween lately." Makoto said as she shifted back to her human form and got dressed in a cream coloured blouse and black skirt combo. She also grabbed some clothes for Shampoo as the Amazon didn't take any with her when she went Setsuna hunting.

"But that's not a bad thing!" Usagi protested. "We're getting so many new friends that are really strong even though the magic doesn't work right. That's a good thing as it means that we won't be so hard pressed to win our fights anymore." Usagi said as she winced.

"Umm Ami I think I've got your panties." She said as she reached behind and started digging them out of her crack.

"Umm no I've got my own. I think you've got Rei's." Ami said as she fingered Minako's shirt that she was wearing.

"So that's why they're bunching up." Usagi ran out of the room to go find Rei. "Hey Rei I've got your panties!"

"You know only a few short months ago we were just normal defenders of Love and Justice." Minako said as she shook her head. "Oh where ever did we go wrong?" She said as she put her arm around Ami's waist and led her out of the room.

Makoto watched as Minako's hand slid down lower and grabbed Ami's ass.

"What has happened to us indeed?" Makoto said not expecting an answer.

"Ranma happened sugar." Ukyo said from her place on the bed. "It's a bit weirder than normal but this is pretty much par for the course as far as his life goes." She shrugged. "I'm betting that you wouldn't trade it for your 'normal' life would you?"

Makoto thought about it for a few minutes before responding.

"You're right. I wouldn't trade this for my normal life." She sat down on the bed. "Before I found out that I was a were cheetah I was just your average magical girl battling the forces of evil. I also couldn't get a date to save my life. I was too tall and too strong. All the boys were afraid of me as I could beat them all up. When Auntie showed me that I was not human I was freaking. I mean I usually shoot something that looks like me, but it felt so natural and I dunno right that I wondered how I ever did without it." She raised her hand up to look at it.

"I guess I always knew that I was different from them in a way. I mean none of them actually liked all the fighting, they just wanted to be normal teenagers. I guess it was the cat in me that wanted to stalk and kill my prey." Ukyo gulped at this. It was a subtle reminder that she was dealing with a wild animal in the guise of a civilized girl. Wild animals had a tendency to bite you if they thought you were threatening them.

"Well then Auntie decides that I'm not shocked enough and tells me that this hunk was actually engaged to me and that she expects lots of grandchildren. I mean I've only had one boyfriend and even that didn't last long, so to be suddenly engaged to him with expectations that I get knocked up by the next day... I wasn't too pleased with that." She shifted a bit as if remembering something.

"Then I actually started to get to know the guy. Let me tell you I've never fallen so fast or so hard for anybody, cute face or not." She smiled. "For all his stupidity and thoughtless words he really does have a heart of gold." She looked at Ukyo. "It's no wonder girls are falling all over him. For all his faults he really is a great guy."

"So you don't mind if I join you guys as wife #3 then?" Ukyo said with a hopeful smile.

"Hell no. One extra is almost too much. That's not saying that I don't mind Shampoo's company, she's really great and all. It's just that Ranma has to divide his attention between two girls and he doesn't have enough time really for both of us. I mean I would love to have him to myself but that wouldn't be fair to Shampoo." Makoto paused for a few minutes as if to collect her thoughts. "I'm just afraid that if there are any more girls then he won't have any time for me."

"That's funny actually. I had the same thoughts when he was still in Nerima. He had Akane and Shampoo as well but he always made time to visit me. He's just that kind of guy. No matter how many girls were after them he usually found time for all of them." Ukyo said as she scooted a bit closer. "I still want to marry him but if you are, I guess mistress would be good enough for me. I don't need a lot of his time, just a bit now and then."

"Why should we? It's not like you're engaged to him or anything..." Makoto trailed off as she saw Ukyo looking down.

"Well Mrs. Saotome made me this offer. She paid me the amount my dowry was worth plus a little more for pain and suffering. She also said that I could get revenge on her husband. I still have all of the money still in the same envelope, I haven't opened it yet. That and I haven't been able to catch her worthless husband so..." She trailed off letting the implications of her words speak for themselves.

Makoto stopped to think about it for a bit. She'd have to beat I mean ask Setsuna later about the implications of Ukyo and Shampoo both being senshi of her moons. If this was Setsuna's idea of setting up her boyfriend with other girls she'd have to have a say in it.

After all Jupiter had a LOT of moons.

"Well I believe that in the old days if a man wanted to have a mistress his wife would have to approve of the girl. So let's see your resume." Makoto said.

"I've got my resume right here." Ukyo said as she leaned in.

Ranma returned just in time to get hit in the face by Makoto's blouse whichblouse that was flung out the door. He saw his oldest friend making out with his sort of fiancée. It was a good thing he was still in hybrid form as Makoto had shifted to hers as soon as her clothes were off. He watched for a few seconds before deciding to just cut his losses and close the door.

His stomach growled and he decided that he'd find out about it later. Right now his main love needed feeding and he knew exactly where to get satisfaction. On his way to the kitchen he saw a naked Shampoo with a very large sword. It looked like she was stalking something so he just passed by without talking to her and giving away her position.

Once he was at the kitchen he saw his mom cooking breakfast. She was being helped by Ami and Walter's two Amazon wives. Rei was still transformed and had a pack of ice on her wrist. Minako, Usagi, and Setsuna were no where to be seen. Ranma walked up behind his mother and hugged her from behind. Since he was in his hybrid form and she wasn't he pretty much enveloped her.

"Morrrning mom when's brrreakfast I'm starrrved." Ranma said as his stomach decided to voice it's own opinion.

"Soon son." She turned away from her cooking and gave her son an 'I'm so happy I've got such a manly son smile.' "So what did you think of the sleeping arrangements?"

"What do you... oh you mean Ukyo. Umm I rrreally don't know what to think. Ukyo's my frrriend and all so it was kinda wierrrd to wake up with herrr naked in my bed and all."

"Ahh so that's who that third lump was." She turned around and went back to cooking. "I was wondering who would be number three."

"Mom!!" Ranma shouted both horrified and embarrassed by his mother's comment. "I rrreally don't think that's such a good idea. I've got my hands full with Shampoo and Makoto I don't need any morrre girrrls." He paused to think for a second. "Actually I think Shampoo was hunting Setsuna forrr that little stunt she pulled."

"I wouldn't worry too much about Setsuna. She's much better than your father at getting out of sticky situations."

"This would be one of those sticky situations. Shampoo's on the warrr path to try and keep the otherrr girls away from me." He said shaking his head.

"How's Makoto taking all of this?" Nodoka asked as she gave the miso soup a stir and flipped the grilling slabs of meat.

"Actually I think she's trying to be the dominant female." He said remembering walking in on her and Ukyo.

"Oh that reminds me we're having a party tonight. Cologne already knows and is going to take Shampoo out. I just want to make it clear this is were cats only." Nodoka said as she turned and looked him right in the eye for emphasis.

"Um what's that about? Why can't the otherrr girrrls come?" Ranma asked a bit confused by his mother's request.

"Just trust me on this son. No humans. Were cat parties can get a little.... wild and it would be best if they weren't there." She smiled. "I'm sure they'll understand. Now go gather everybody breakfast is almost ready and you've got school today." She said as she pushed him on his way and went back to cooking.

"Ahh alrrright I'll do that." Ranma said as he turned and left the kitchen.

Ami who'd been listening to the whole conversation decided that since it was were cat only as their creator she should be there. After all they were her people and she had a responsibility to them.

The thought of partying with lots of hunky were cats never crossed her teenage brain. Nope not once.

Ranma found Shampoo clinging to the ceiling getting ready to drop on a seemingly unaware Setsuna.

"Morrrning Setsuna," He looked up at Shampoo. "Shampoo. Brrreakfast is almost rrready."

"Thanks for telling us. Shampoo was just about to give me a demonstration of how sharp steel and flesh don't mix well." She looked up to where Shampoo was still clinging to the ceiling. "We'll have to do this some other time." She said a she pulled down her eyelid and blew her tongue at her.

"Just don't forrrget we've still got school today." Ranma said as he walked off to find the other girls.

"Well then I guess I'll have to get ready for school." Setsuna said as she opened a portal and stepped through it.

Shampoo only missed by a hair.

"Shampoo make Pervert Senshi pay!!"

Ranma's next stop was the baths. It was the only place he could think of where Usagi and Minako might be. As he entered the bath he noticed that there were two sets of clothes. Instead of just walking in he decided to just tell them through the divider.

"Hey girrrls you'd better hurrry up. Mom's got brrreakfast rrready." Ranma called out.

"Almost ohh finished. YES!" Called out a voice he thought sounded like Minako.

Who knew blonds really did know how to have fun.

His next stop was Walter's room.

As he opened the door he saw the disembodied form of Walter flying around the room while his corpse was lying on the bed. Shaking his head he put a little ki into his hand and grabbed Walter as he passed by and shoved his spirit back into his body. Immediately Walter shot to a sitting position and screamed.

"Nooooooooooooooooo!"

"Alrrright I'll tell yourrr wives to cool it with the sex forrr a bit." He turned around and was about to leave when he remembered the reason he was there. "Oh yeah brrreakfast is going to be rrready soon. You may want to get up."

Ranma turned to leave again when he remembered about the party.

"Oh yeah mom also said therrre's going to be a parrrty werrre cats only."

That perked up Walter in no time.

"A party? Crap, I've got lots of work to do then." Walter said as he shakily got out of bed.

Ranma averted his eyes as Walter was still naked. Naked girls were fine but he really didn't want to look at some other guysguy's schlong.

"Yeah she also said no humans allowed. It was rrreally wierd but I guess I just have to trrrust herrr. I guess that means your two bookends won't be able to go eitherrr."

"No time to waste I've got lots of work to do!" Walter said as he threw on his clothes and rushed out the door.

"I wonderrr what's so special about this parrrty." Ranma said aloud as he went to go collect the other two. He just hoped that they were finished.

It was just his luck that he happened to walk in right as Makoto climaxed. He waited for about half a minute for her to finish before speaking up.

"Brrreakfast is rrready you two." He said.

Normally a scene like that would have given him the mother of all nosebleeds only a few weeks ago. Now it was strangely turning him on. Happosai would have been proud.

Well actually Happosai would have jumped them and fondled them till they screamed bloody murder. But that's another story.

He walked out of the room and down the stairs to where his breakfast awaited.

Once he was in the dining room the only other occupant was his old man. Of course he was tied up at the moment. The ball gag was something that he was trying his best not to think about. Sighing he walked around the table to where his father was trussed up. He removed the gag from his mouth and put it on the table.

"Well pops is mom finished with you yet?" He asked as he walked around the table and sat down in his spot.

"Boy, how could you betray your father like this! Cavorting with those other two girls while your true fiancee is waiting for you at the Tendo's."

"And which 'trrrue fiancee' would that be? Hmm? Did you know that both Nabiki and Kasumi werrre herrre earrrlierrr on in the week trrrying to vy vie forrr my attention." He blushed as he remembered exactly what Kasumi was wearing. "Akane couldn't carrre less about me and you know it! Besides I don't know how much morrre sex I can take. Did you know Ukyo was shoved into ourrr bed last night?" Genma shook his head in the negative. He was of course thinking about how a naked Ukyo, Shampoo, and that new girl Makoto would look naked.

"Last night I had sex with Makoto, Shampoo and Ukyo. Now mom's got it in herrr head that Ukyo can be my mistrrress orrr something! I mean I don't know if I can handle any morrre girls."

"You had sex with three girls at the same time and you're complaining! Oh where did I go wrong that my weak and girly son is complaining about too much sex!" Genma shouted in mock indignation. "Now listen to your father boy and listen good. If your mother wants you to have fifty wives and just as many mistresses you don't complain. It just means that you have to spend less time with each of them." He smiled as it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Pop I don't want to avoid them! The morrre girrrls that are thrown into this mix the less time I'll have to spend with each of them." He looked down at the table and continued in almost a whisper. "I don't want them to have to sharrre morrre than they alrrready arrre. I don't want to have to divide my attention morrre than it alrrready is." He lowered his voice so that he was sure his old man wouldn't be able to hear it. "I carrre forrr them too much forrr that."

"It's a good thing too or else I'd have to have a few words with you mister." Makoto said playfully from the door. She was back in her human form and was wearing the blouse that she originally had on.

"Ack!" Ranma said eloquently as he realized that he'd done the unthinkable and expressed his emotions somewhere where she could hear him.

"Don't give me that. A girl likes to hear that her man cares for her every so often. It makes her feel appreciated for more than just a quick romp." She said as she walked over and gave him a big hug. Of course he was much larger than she was so it was a little awkward.

"Good morning Ranchan!" Ukyo said happily from his other side as she too glomped him.

"Urk! U... Ucchan. Umm about last night and all..." He trailed off.

"I know. Just let me believe for a little while longer. I'll still be your friend but I guess that's pretty much it." She said sadly.

"Maybe not." Makoto said.

"Uhh Makoto you'rrre not thinking what I think you'rrre thinking are you?" Ranma said hesitantly.

"If Shampoo agrees then she can become one of your mistresses. Shampoo and I will still be your main wives and still have the main say it's just..." She paused to collect her thoughts. "I guess I can see where she's coming from. Besides " She smiled. " sometimes you're just too much man for the two of us." She snickered as she let go of his side.

"But... but I don't know how much morrre I can take." Ranma stuttered out.

"Go for it boy! While you're at it take one of the Tendo girls as well!" Genma spoke up.

"Actually my husband might just have a good idea." Nodoka said as she walked into the room carrying one of the trays of food; visions of kittens dancing in her head.

"Mooooooommm!" Ranma said in extreme embarrassment.

The rest of the household chose that moment to walk in. Rei of course was in her normal clothes as her wrist had healed faster than she thought it would.

"Now dear you do realize that we were cheetahs are an endangered species. It would make me very proud to know that my son was the father of the revival of the species." She smiled as she looked at the other girls.

All of the other girls blushed except for Nair and Vidal as they already had their man. Makoto and Shampoo narrowed their eyes at Mrs. Saotome because there was only so much they'd be willing to give. Ranma of course took this opportunity to quietly slip under the table and pray for a quick death.

Nodoka seeing that her son was thoroughly embarrassed decided that she'd pushed him enough for now and decided to drop the subject. Besides she'd accomplished her mission by planting the idea in the other girl's heads. The revival of the species was paramount and her son was the key to that happening. She wished that she didn't have to do this to him but survival often made people do things they didn't want to do.

She just hoped that her son would forgive her for it.

On their way to school the group was strangely silent. Ukyo had to get back to Nerima and had said goodbye to everybody at the house. There were no monsters attacking to break the tension. The one who spoke first was Makoto.

"So Ranma what was that party that Auntie was talking about at breakfast?" She asked.

"I dunno she just said that it was were cats only. Sorry Shampoo but she was pretty adamant about that fact. Guess it's only going to be us cats tonight." Ranma said with a shrug strangely not stuttering when he said cat.

"Shampoo fine. Want to go to party but great grandmother say Shampoo butt get fat from sitting around." She grumbled a bit.

"Actually I would like to go to your party tonight." Ami spoke up.

"But Auntie said it's were cats only and last I checked you don't grow fur or a tail Ami-chan." Makoto said with mock sweetness.

"Maybe not but I am your goddess. I created your kind and as such I am entitled to a little respect and some privileges." She said with her nose a little higher in the air.

"Actually it was the you back in the silver millennium that created them. The fact that you are the same soul does not automatically make you their goddess. Besides the fact that you haven't had anything to do with them for centuries... I don't know if that's such a good idea. Well that and the fact that you created them to be your personal servant race..." Rei trailed off as she felt Ami glaring at her.

"You're just jealous that I'm going to the party and you're not." Ami said with a smug grin as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Yeah well..." Rei said as she kicked a rock out of her way.

"Hey!" Minako said as she suddenly caught a clue. "You're just going there to get a hunky were cat boyfriend!"

Ami's resulting blush was all the confirmation that Minako needed.

"You are! Oooh if Ami's going I'm going too." Minako said as she too crossed her arms across her chest.

"I'm going too." Rei said. It couldn't hurt to see what was available.

"Me too." Usagi said then faltered. "Wait a minute I've already got a boyfriend."

"Hold up. Wait just one minute. Mom said this is a were cat only party! No humans allowed! What part of that didn't you get? You're not going." Ranma said with as much force as he could to get the point across.

"But..." Minako started.

"No buts non humans only! I don't know why, but she usually has a damn good reason for this sort of thing." He sighed. "Tell you what we can have a mixed party later but for tonight you girls can't come."

"Ok I won't go." Minako said. She then rounded on Makoto. "On one condition." She smiled as Makoto stumbled at their close proximity.

"No I won't let you sleep with Ranma!" Makoto said. She knew that was what Minako wanted.

"Too much competition." Minako waved it off. "No what I want is a bio on all the cute unattached guys there. You know name, phone number, picture, length/width/circumference. You know essential details." She paused for a second as all the other girls started blushing at what she just implied. "Oh yes you might as well also include their species." She paused again. "You know that's a question that I never thought I'd have to ask a boyfriend."

"Fine. Just as long as you don't come I'll see if I can set you up with some of the guys there." Makoto said while trying to think of some way to get the information without getting hit on herself. She grinned evilly as she remembered that picture of Minako in that string bikini they had her try on as a joke once.

"Ahh maybe we should continue this after school." Ranma said as they passed through the gates of the school.

"No need I'm happy as long as I get those bios." Said Minako.

"Uhh me too." Piped in Rei. "Ah shit this isn't my school!" She screamed as she tore off towards her school hoping beyond hope that she wouldn't be too late.

"Well that was fun." Usagi said as the group walked towards their class.

Ami didn't comment. Since she was still planning on crashing the party tonight. It would be best to make them think she'd agreed to not go so they couldn't hold it against her later. Of course nothing could possibly go wrong.

Fate of course had just about enough of people poking him with that stick.

The day passed normally. Well as normally as a day can pass. Setsuna of course ignored her student's bleary eyedbleary-eyed stares and cheerfully taught some gibberish that they would never need. The only one that seemed to be paying attention was Ami.

In reality Ami was not listening, she was working on her assault plans for tonightstonight's party. Her mother was pressuring her to get a boyfriend. She smiled as she thought of what her mother would think if she brought a were tiger or a were panther home to meet her. Not to mention the fact that they seemed to have way above average stamina in the sack. She smiled as she remembered watching that video of Ranma, Makoto and Shampoo. If a normal were was only half as good...

"Ami could you please answer the question on the board." Setsuna called out.

"46 pi over 3." She responded not even breaking out of her erotic fantasy.

"Good enough. Alright now..."

The day passed quickly for most people as each was excited about a different thing that was going to happen that night. Ami, Minako, and Rei were all excited about getting boyfriends of the feline persuasion. Ami of course was going to take a more direct approach to that end. Makoto and Ranma were eager to find out what a were cat party was like. Usagi was looking forward to a date with Mamorou.

Luna and Artemis were informed of the party through a text message from Setsuna. They were getting ready for a party that she called 'One of the most unforgettable experiences.'

Ladies and Gentlemen. Children of all ages. Start your engines.

The final bell was the signal for everybody to rush outside glad that another school day was over. Makoto, Shampoo and Ranma said goodbye to the other girls making sure that they went in the proper direction of their homes before they started off towards their home. On the way Ranma was talking to Shampoo about what kind of training Cologne was going to dream up for her. Ranma of course had a few suggestions about where she could improve. Speed being the highest on his list for obvious reasons.

They were just rounding the corner to the house when Ranma suddenly stiffened and stopped dead in his tracks. He suddenly spun around scanning the area for a threat that apparently only he could sense. He narrowed his eyes as he tried to pinpoint the source and he slid into a ready combat stance. Makoto and Shampoo seeing him so tense also slipped into combat stances of their own. No words were necessarynecessary, as they understood anything that could make Ranma edgy was a serious threat. Makoto even considered transforming right in the middle of the sidewalk into either Sailor Jupiter or her hybrid form.

"Hey what are you guys doing?" Artemis said as he jumped onto the fence next to the sidewalk.

"CAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!" Ranma screamed as he tore off down the street screaming like a little girl.

"Artemis you idiot! He's still afraid of cats and you go jumping up and nearly getting in his face. Why the hell do you think I stayed down here?!" Luna shouted as she too jumped up onto the fence.

"Ahh I forgot." He said as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"So Makoto are you ready for the party tonight?" Luna said as she not so subtly pushed Artemis off the fence.

"Does everybody know about that!that? What is there a big sign saying party at our place tonight!" Makoto hissed.

"Ahh no Setsuna told us about it." Luna said with a shrug.

"What part of no humans allowed..." Luna glared at her. "Ahh just try not to get eaten ok." Makoto managed to stumble out.

"If talking kitty goes Shampoo go too." Shampoo stated.

"Shampoo you are human. Even with your curse. Besides I don't think your great grandmother would let you. Remember she's got some kind of training for you tonight." Makoto said as she laid her hand on Shampoo's shoulder.

"Fine. We party later. Airen 2 must tell Shampoo how party went though or Shampoo be angry with." Shampoo said playfully as she put Makoto into a headlock and ruffled her hair.

"All right, all right already. I'll give you a play by play tomorrow ok?" Makoto said as she tried unsuccessfully to get out of the headlock.

Shampoo let go and stepped back. She turned and started walking again towards the Saotome home. She waved at them before taking off towards the Saotome mansion as well.

"Well I guess that just leaves us." Makoto said as she picked up Artemis and put him over her left shoulder. She then motioned for Luna to jump onto her right shoulder. When she was sure both cats were secure she continued on her way too.

Once she arrived she noticed a few things were different. For one there were quite a few cars in the yard. Some of them were parked in the driveway, some were parked on the lawn, and the helicopter was parked on the roof. She saw a few lions and tigers sunbathing on the back deck. She thankfully resisted the urge to say 'Oh my'. Feeling more at home she decided to shift to her hybrid form. Luna and Artemis decided that this was their stop and jumped off her shoulders and went inside. She stretched out thankful that the tear zones did their thing.

The lions and tigers that were sunbathing lifted their heads to see what the tearing sound was. Makoto decided to do a bit of subtle posing. Look but don't touch. She saw two of the tigers duck behind the house. She slowly walked towards the house allowing them plenty of time to put some clothes on. Sure enough just as she was about to get to the door one of them came tearing around the corner tugging his pants on with one hand and buttoning his shirt with the other. She noticed that the clothes were designed to fit his hybrid form.

And what a hybrid form it was. He was packed with lots of muscles and boy was he tall. If she guessed correctly he was nearing eight feet. He didn't exactly tower over her but she did have to look up when he got near her. His features were similar to the other were cats she'd met (Walter), the only difference was that his fur was orange and black along his back and white along his stomach. If she wasn'tweren't taken already she'd find him attractive. Ok fine she found him attractive but it wasn't like she was going to dump Ranma and just jump this guy. Deciding to be friendly she started taking notes for the other girls.

"Hey there. I guess you're here for the party." She said as she put on a smile.

"Uhh yeah. I didn't know there was another female were cheetah running around. Uh heh hehe." He started stuttering like Ryoga when he got around a pretty girl.

Makoto noticed that the words she was hearing didn't match the way his mouth was moving. She noticed that he had a pendant around his neck. She didn't know how she knew it, but she knew the pendant was magical.

"Knock it off Bob." The second were tiger said as he smacked the first one upside the head.

The second one was around seven feet. He was just a bit taller than Makoto herself. Unlike the first one this one was lean with whipcord muscles. She couldn't tell if he was an out of shape were tiger as she didn't really have any other examples to compare him to. Also unlike the first one he didn't bother putting on a shirt so Makoto could see pretty much everything. She wished she had her camera here as Minako wanted a picture as well as a bio. Oh well there was time enough for that later. Time to schmooze.

"Actually until a few weeks ago I didn't even know I was a were cheetah myself either. Oh by the way my name's Makoto Kino nice to meet you." She bowed.

"I'm Jim age sixteen, smwt." He smiled hoping to show as much charm as he could.

"Umm smwt?" Makoto asked.

"Single Male Were Tiger." He said with a roguish grin. Add fur and a whole bunch of height and he would have looked like her old boyfriend.

Her old boyfriend who was nothing but a player and dumped her on her ass when something better came along.

"Engaged Female Were Cheetah." She said with a little more force than was necessary.

"Ahh but you're not wearing a ring." Jim tried.

"In Japan there is a tradition of arranged marriages. Even though I'm not wearing a ring does not mean that I'm not engaged. Tell you what I'll introduce you to my fiancées." She smiled an impish grin. Shampoo wouldn't impress them too much unless she was decked out in her silvered gear. Ranma however could probably take the two of them easily.

"Uhh sure. That wouldn't happen to be the guy that came in here screaming like a little girl about evil cats would it?" Jim asked.

Makoto put her hand to her face and grimaced.

"Yeah that would be one of them. His name is Ranma."

"One of them?" Bob asked blushing like crazy.

"Yeah Ranma defeated this human her name's Shampoo. By her peoples laws that is a marriage proposal or something like that. She's not that bad and I kinda like her." Makoto said leaving out all the other stuff.

"Lucky guy." Jim muttered.

"Yes he is." Makoto replied just as the door to the house opened.

Shampoo walked out with her great grandmother trailing her. Jim and Bob were acting nervous. Shampoo was decked out in a dark royal purple cheongsam that went down to about mid thigh on her. Across her chest was a hardened leather breastplate. The breastplate had a spiral symbol carved into the middle of it and it also had some nicks and scratches from where Shampoo couldn't dodge fast enough and the breastplate had to perform its function of keeping her internals internal. Her shins had splinted leather shin guards to protect from low blows. Her forearms were protected by hardened leather bracers with metal studs in them.

Even though you couldn't see any exposed weapons because of her hidden weapons technique; to their were senses she was practically reeking with silver hence the were tigers skittishness.

Cologne was dressed in her normal green robe and was bouncing around behind Shampoo on her walking stick. Makoto couldn't detect any silver on her but she still knew that the old woman was still the more dangerous of the two.

"Hey Shampoo heading out already?" Makoto said as she sidled up to her... co-wife? Fiancée? She made a mental note to try and figure out their relationship later.

"Mmm Hmm Great Grandma says she going to teach Shampoo new move. She say Shampoo fall behind airens and need to catch up." She smiled as she pulled out a small silvered dagger and started flipping it around and catching it.

"Yeah right. If I couldn't transform you'd wipe the floor with me every time." Makoto joked.

"Shampoo agree. But Shampoo need learn this because Ranma so far ahead and now much farther than Shampoo. Shampoo no mind, great grandmother no teach me stuff for long time. I is happy to learn." 'From the old slave driving old witch' Shampoo thought.

"Well have fun." Makoto said as she leaned over and gave Shampoo a quick kiss on the lips.

Shampoo was so stunned that she froze for a couple of seconds and therefore missed catching her dagger. It clattered to the ground and skidded over to where the two brothers were standing. Both of them screamed and jumped away from the implement. Both of them had silver burns before and were not eager to repeat the experience any time soon.

"Get that away from me!" Yelled Jim as he cowered behind Bob.

"It's just silver what are you so afraid of?" Makoto asked as she bent down to pick up the dagger off the ground and return it to Shampoo.

Her hand was smacked away by Colognes staff right before she wound up and smacked Makoto herself flinging her about five meters away. Makoto crumpled into a heap as she felt her strained ribs and the bruise caused by the hit start to heal.

"That would be very unwise daughter in law." Cologne started. "You've been protected by the locking potion most of your life and as such have never felt what silver can do to your kind." Cologne paused to make sure that Makoto was listening. "As I'm told it feels like putting your hand over the fire but the burning doesn't stop even when you take your hand away."

"Y... Yeah that's pretty much right." Stuttered Bob. "It really really hurts. You don't want to feel that."

"Ahh ok." Truth be told she didn't think it would be that bad but if Cologne said it was...

Ahh curiosity and the cat.

"Anyway Shampoo pickup your dagger and let's get going. I've got a lot to teach you before tomorrow." And with how stupid her great granddaughter had been acting she doubted that she'd pick up the technique tonight. Ranma on the other hand would probably get it in fifteen minutes tops.

Shampoo collected her dagger and stowed it away along with the rest of her equipment. She then walked over to where Makoto was still sitting on the ground waiting to heal up. She then proceeded to do an oral cavity search of her other intended with her tongue.

Once she was finished Makoto's tail was sticking straight out and was ridged as a steel rod and her hair all over her body was sticking straight up. In a comical sense she looked like a big puffball with convenient carrying stick.

"Got back airen." Shampoo giggled as she sauntered out the gate her great grandmother trailing her.

"Daaaamn." Jim said as the last scene finally sunk into his skull.

"..." Bob said as he was laying on the ground blood fountaining from his nose in spurts.

It took a whole five minutes for Makoto to compose herself enough to stand on her feet without falling over. As she stood on shaky legs a female cheetah wearing Ranma's shirt came barreling out of the house. The cheetah immediately rushed over and started rubbing itself against her legs while purring up a storm.

"There's another one!!" Jim shouted. "Just how many were cheetahs are there!"

"Down Ranma." Makoto said as she tried to pry the purring cheetah away from her legs so that she could get mobile again.

"Wait a minute wasn't your other fiancee a guy?" Jim asked as he checked again. Yup female.

"Long story." Makoto grumbled as she bent down and started petting her crazy fiancee.

"Ok so why's she acting like a cat? Far as I know that shouldn't happen." Jim said as he checked again. Still female.

"Another long story." She said as she picked Ranma off of the ground and tossed the still purring cat over her shoulder.

"Look I've got to go take care of this. I'll see you guys later tonight Ok?" She said as she waved her hand at them as she walked away.

"Ahh sure." Jim said as he waved at her.

Once Makoto had closed the door behind her Jim turned to Bob. Bob was still lying on the ground with a silly grin on his face.

"What's gotten into you?" Jim asked knowing his brothersbrother's tolerance for females was exceedingly low.

"Pantiessssss." Bob said as his silly grin got wider.

"No way! You really got to see them."

Bob's only response was another fountain of blood similar to those synchronized fountains.

Once she had gotten into the house she noticed several of the adults milling around the foyer and living room. There was an older lion talking to what looked like a leopard. (she'dShe'd taken an interest in the different species of the great cats after finding out she was one of them) A stately tigress was watching a younger tigress play Bone Crusher against a younger snow leopard.

Makoto resolved herself to finding out who these people were later. For now she had to get Ranma male again and snap him out of the Neko ken. Fortunately after the Kasumi incident he told her the quickest way to snap him out was to trigger the curse.

Killing two birds with one stone in a bush or something like that.

Once she got to the bathroom she opened the door to find Nodoka soaking in the pool/furo with a were panther. The surrealness of the situation made her pause at the entryway. She slowly backed out as Mrs. Saotome leaned over and started lightly biting the neck of the panther. The kitchen sink would be good enough.

Makoto shook her head to try and get rid of the image of Mrs. Saotome cheating on her husband. She then remembered what an asshole her husband was and everything was ok again.

The kitchen was not as busy as the other areas of the house. Still there was an older male jaguar talking to a younger panther. The older jaguar looked up and nodded towards Makoto before going back to his conversation. Oh well first things first. She put Ranma down on the floor. He was looking up at her with his big blue eyes. His tail swishing back and forth in a random pattern. His forepaws were tucked in under his body and his hind legs were tucked in as well.

He looked bloody cute like that. Makoto briefly entertained the thought of a trained animal modeling career. Or maybe even a movie career. Just thinking about the money they could make.

Oh wait that's right the whole ruling the planet thing was going to happen.

Back to Ranma. Makoto walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a glass. She then went over to the sink and turned on the hot water. She waited a bit for the water to heat up then she filled the glass.

"Ok Ranma time to uncrazy." She said as she tossed the water.

Right onto the floor as Ranma dodged.

"Mrow." Ranma said looking cuter than a truck full of bunnies.

"Come on Ranma I don't have time for this." She said in an exasperated tone as she once again filled the glass and tossed it.

Now if only Ranma could dodge water this well when he wasn't off his tree.

By this time the were jaguar and panther had noticed something was wrong and had stopped their conversation and were looking at Makoto as she struggled to get the other cheetah wet for some reason. They looked at each other before getting up in unison.

"Can I possibly help with whatever you're doing?." The old jaguar asked.

"Ahh yeah could you get ready to turn on the hot water in the sink?" Makoto asked as she prepared to tackle Ranma. He was getting wet one way or another.

"Can I at least ask as to why you want to get her wet? I can tell she's a were cheetah like yourself although I don't know Brittany was coming."

Makoto wasn't paying attention as she was staring at Ranma trying to determine which direction he was going to bolt to and if he in his primitive instinct driven mind he even suspected her master plan.

"I'll explain later just get ready." She said tensing.

"Can I do anything?" The panther asked.

"Catch him if I miss." Makoto said as she pounced.

Ranma dodged to the left thinking his mate was still wanting to play tag. He was so intent on her that he missed the were panther that snuck up behind him. Once he was pinned he started to thrash to try and get loose. He almost did get free a couple of times but his mate jumped in and helped the other male hold him down. He started growling as they picked him up and started carrying him towards the small hard puddle thing.

"Turn it on NOW!" Makoto shouted as she grabbed Ranma fully and rushed towards the sink.

As soon as he hit the water he changed into a male. He thrashed around for another thirty seconds getting Makoto completely soaked and throwing water all over the counter and the floor. The jaguar and panther had enough sense to clear the area as soon as the crazy were cheetah girl had grabbed the other crazy cheetah girl and tossed her into the sink. It took a bit but eventually Ranma shook his head and looked up at Makoto with an enquiring gaze as if to ask 'why the hell am I in the sink?'

"I'll explain later." Makoto said as she turned off the water.

Turning to the two other men in the room she bowed.

"Thank you for your help. I'm Kino Makoto and this is my fiancee Ranma." She said indicating the now male Ranma.

"But.... But he was a she. I'm certain of that!" The panther was freaking out.

"Yeah he kinda has a jusenkyo curse. Cold water turns him female, hot water turns him back." She said a little embarrassed about revealing her boyfriend's secret to total strangers.

"Ahh Jusenkyo that makes sense now. No what I want to know was why he was acting like a real cat earlier." The panther said before realizing something. "Forgive me. I forgot that you introduced yourself. My name is Gino, leader of the were jaguars on earth." He bowed.

"Ahh yeah... my names Teros." The panther said shyly as he adverted his eyes from Makoto's form clinging shirt.

"It's a long story and I don't think I should be the one to tell it." Makoto said covering her chest as she realized exactly how clingy it had gotten.

"Umm if you'll excuse me we've got to get dried off and changed." Makoto said as she started inching towards the door.

"Of course. The party hasn't really started yet. I recommend though that you get dressed in clothes that will fit you properly, although I do commend your ingenuity at modifying those normal clothes to fit your hybrid form." Gino said as he turned and grabbed Teros and dragged him back to the table.

Makoto fled the room with Ranma nipping on her heels. Once sufficient time had elapsed Gino turned to Teros and said.

"I fear for the species."

Once they had reached the safety of their room Ranma shifted back to his hybrid form. Makoto stripped off her wet clothes and went over to the closet.

"So what the hell happened.happened? I rrrrememberrrr rrrunning from

Arrrtemis.." he grumbled at this. "then I get herrre and therrre's cats all overrr the place and then... blank." Ranma said as he toweled off then put on his extra large silk shirt.

"You were in the neko ken when I got here. I figured the easiest way to snap you out of it would be to activate the curse." Makoto said as she slipped on one of her specially made bras. "Also you were female for some reason."

"I don't rrrememberrr changing. Maybe I spilled somebody's drrrink orrr something. Why didn't you just thrrrow me into the bath?" Ranma asked as he pulled on his pants.

"Umm the bath was uhh occupied. I thought of just throwing some hot water on you from the sink but you wanted to play dodge the water instead." Makoto said as she smacked him in the back of his head. "Eventually I just got fed up and dropped your ass in the sink and let the water go."

"Umm sorrrry about that." Ranma said as he hung his head.

He knew that he got a little catty when he was under the influence of the Neko ken but it was never this bad.

"So who werrre those guys in the kitchen?" Ranma asked curious as to who the other guests were.

"Well the older jaguar was Gino, he's the leader of the were jaguars. The younger one was Teros he's a were panther. Other than the fact that Gino knew about Jusenkyo, I don't know much else about them." Makoto said as she finally turned to look at him.

"Hey do you think he might know a currre?" Ranma said as he thought of never turning into a girl again.

"I don't think so. He just seemed familiar with it. Besides...." She said as she sauntered up to where he was standing and leaned in close. "I don't really mind your girl form at all." She finished her statement by licking his nose.

"Ahhh." Ranma expressed as his mind wandered back to his first screaming female orgasm under the ministrations of said tongue.

"I guess it's not so bad." He stuttered as the memory hit the switch in his brain which until recently hadn't been used. Libido on.

Makoto could practically smell the pheromones leaking off him. She had to fight her own rising arousal.

"Not now we've got to get back downstairs. Party now rut later." Makoto said as she grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him out of the room.

Authors Note

This chapter was getting a bit too big for it's own good so I decided to split it into two chapters. In other notes I will be continuing Dragon's bane. I was quite overwhelmed by the response (over 25 reviews and still comming my god I didn't know that there were that many people that actually read my stuff.)

What's next?

Lunocracy

Fast Tracks

Cat's Tale

Dragons Bane

Honestly I have no idea. I think I'll roll a d4 and let it 

This work of fanfiction is brought to you by my prereaders

Lord Raa, Axekeeper, Chi Vayne, and KM

and ethel alchohol, providing much needed reality altering experiences since the bronze age.


	9. Chapter 8b

Disclaimer: Monkeys are funny

Chapter 9 We're going to party like it's 199... Hey is that Tuna?

Usagi Tsukino was a happy woman. Well she wasn't quite a woman yet. Happy as a kid in a candy store teenager would be more like it. Kid on a sugar high kind of thing. Her boyfriend and herShe and her boyfriend were going out on a romantic type date. Now this wasn't their first date by a long shot. It was their 4.2353 date. (The decimal is the rounded up percentage of their 3rd, 5th, and 6th dates that were rudely interrupted by some enemy attack or some other circumstance.)

Now if she could just figure out something to wear.

Of course since Luna was conveniently at the party and the rest of the girls were doing other things she was left up to her own fashion advice. Sadly as is the case with all girls getting ready for an important date.

She had absolutely nothing to wear.

In this sort of situation she would usually turn to Luna or better yet Minako for advice. Luna was probably wasted right now and chatting up Artemis and Minako was at her home doing something or another. So it was up to her to come up with something.

What stepped out of her bedroom was Usagi in a white mini dress. She had a wide loose belt which hung off her left hip at an angle. She had loose hoop bracelets on and red nail polish on fake press on nails. Her hair was not in it's its traditional twin meatball and trailer style. Instead it was tied with a single scrunchie at the back of her head and allowed to run loose behind her. She had some light eyeshadow on, light pink lipstick, some blush, and glitter. The glitter was on her cheeks and running through her hair. The glitter was for effect of course. In the right kind of environment it would sparkle and twinkle catching the eye of anything male with a heartbeat. That was the idea of course. Tonight was going to be a magical evening damn it even if she had to transform into Sailor Moon to do it.

As she passed the bathroom she noticed Chibi Usa putting something in her hair. She decided to do a little investigation. Putting on her best sneaking face she crept up, surprisingly quiet and agile for one who is usually so clumsy, and was about to startle the little spore when something caught her eye. Chibi Usa's roots were showing. So she did take after her mother after all! That annoying pink hair was just some form of preteen rebellion or something.

She crept out of the room without Chibi Usa even noticing. Of course the fact that Usa had earplugs in her ears to prevent the dye from getting in them helped Usagi's move silently check greatly.

Usagi had left her house with plenty of time to make her date. For obvious reasons she needed quite a bit of extra time for things such as monster attacks, youma attacks, and klutz attacks. She had long since admitted (at least to herself) that she was not the most coordinated person in the world and as such would require 'touch up' time from any spill she could take. Also that little bit of extra time would allow her to dust any low level monsters that might show up and still allow her time to get to her date. Of course the only thing that could ruin her date was if a youma or something else decided to show up in the middle of it. It had happened too many times for her to count which was the reason she was praying that nothing happened tonight.

She was supposed to meet him in Hasigawa Tomiya park at 8 pm sharp. It was only 7 right now so she had over an hour to get there and it was only fifteen minutes away. She was walking slowly and carefully so as to make sure she didn't trip. Surprisingly it only took her 20 minutes to make the trek and she only stumbled once.

It was a beautiful night out. The sun had yet to set fully but already there were a couple of stars peaking peeking through the vale of the twilight. The wind was mild and gently ruffled her hair as she walked flinging her long locks gently behind her and to the left. Her shoes made a soft 'tak tak' sound as they hit the cement sidewalk. Somewhere in the park a bird twittered it's last as it set up roost for the night and some guy cried out as his energy was drained away.

All in all it was a perfect night for a date.

As she rounded the corner she saw that Mamorou had already taken a seat on a bench that faced the park. Apparently he'd gotten here even earlier than her she and was content to just wait for her to show up. Well if that was the way he wanted it then she'd show him. She put a mischievous smile and slipped into Usagi the ninja mode. If Ranma, Makoto, the old one, and Setsuna could quietly sneak up on somebody she could do it too, right?.

Akane sneezed as somebody took her line.

She hunched over and took up a standard sneaking stance. Her arms were bent at 90 degrees and kept close to her body. Her wrists were kept limp so her fingers pointed down towards the ground. She carefully raised herself to her tiptoes and carefully crept towards the unsuspecting Mamorou. Of course she didn't have any of the above mentioned martial artists training in how to conceal her aura (not that Mamorou could detect it anyway) nor did she have any kind of grace of movement that the others had. That combined with the fact that she was a major klutz all conspired against her in her quest to surprise her boyfriend.

Mamorou had been waiting in the park for Usagi. He decided that he should get to the park at least an hour before their date just in case Usagi was miracle of miracles early for once. The night was fairly nice so he didn't mind the wait. Sighing he turned his mind to other pursuits like that cute brunette with the huge rack walking down the path with the huge rack. Just because he already had a girlfriend didn't mean that he couldn't at least look. Of course he couldn't do it when Usagi was around as she threw a hissy fit when he showed even the slightest interest in anything female that wasn't her. Honestly he was a guy he was supposed to look. Touching was optional and generally discouraged as a rule.

As the brunette passed out of sight behind a copse of trees his mind turned towards another brunette that he knew. Well, blond now. Just thinking of Makoto really got his juices going. She was taller than most girls her age and better filled out too. This wasn't to say Usagi wasn't coming along but she still looked like a little kid trying to be a grownup. He loved Usagi he really did but the comments of pedophile and cradle robber were starting to get to him. If he didn't already know that everything was going to turn out fine in the future just him, Usagi, Chibi Usa and their modest sized castle with white picket fence he'd dump her and go out with somebody his own age. Love could only take you so far when the authorities were watching you to make sure you didn't stat rape her.

Getting off that train of thought he let his mind wander again into one of his favorite pastimes, putting Usagi together with her friendsfriends' parts. He would close his eyes and visualize Usagi as she was now and then sub in her friends various different assets. He even tried to do this once with his computer and pictures but the result just weren't the same.

He closed his eyes and brought up Usagi as she was now. She stood there looking at him with a stunned expression. He twisted the image so she was giving him a smoky look. Of course the real Usagi couldn't do this on her best day but hey this was his fantasy so it was his rules. Next up was her hair. That stupid hairdo was always a sticking point. It was one of the reasons why he kept teasing her. It was just dumb. The question was who'swhose hair could he sub in. Shampoo of course. The image twisted and there was Usagi with a smoky smile and long luxurious purple hair that went all the way down. Of course he really wasn't into purple so a quick switch and it was blond again. Blonds just did it for him. Next up her face. Well it wouldn't be Usagi if he screwed with her face. Besides she was quite good looking already so not much to change. He also left her torso the way it was just trimming her up a bit as she'd been pigging out on ice cream lately. Moving down to her legs he decided a little bit of switching would be ok. The question was who to go for. Sure Makoto had really long legs but he didn't want her to turn out like a stork. That left Rei and Minako. Tough choice. Rei. The image wavered and 'Usagi' was clad in a short skirt showing off Rei's nice legs. The dream Usagi's expression turned from smoky to fiery. Red hot smoking ass.

Next up was a bit more up top. He gave off a grin as he put Makoto's were cheetah breasts on the dream Usagi. The shirt she was wearing suddenly billowed out as a pair of volleyballs suddenly appeared under it. This is where the dream Usagi and the real one had similar characteristics. The dream Usagi started windmilling her arms trying to regain her balance. Unfortunately for her dream gravity is theis the same and she went down into a perfect faceplant. She gave him a murderous glare andglare and flipped him off with one hand as she tried pushing off the ground with the other hand. He briefly contemplated giving her the musculature of Ranma's female form. That way she'd have the power to be able to stand. Finally he relented and switched her up with Shampoo's pair. Oh there we go.

The final completed girl was drop dead gorgeous. She was someone Mamorou would jump in a second if given a chance. It was too bad the real Usagi was nothing like his dream girl. Oh well at least he knew Usagi would be pretty hot in the future. He'd of course seen it himself.

So lost was he in his little fantasy that he could be forgiving forgiven for missing Usagi's bungled attempt at sneaking up on him.

Usagi was trying her best to sneak up on her boyfriend who had his eyes closed and for most appearances looked like he was asleep. Of course this being Usagi, and combined with the fact that she was subscribing to the Akane Tendo school of 'I can do anything never mind if I've never done it before because I am the best', she missed one of her steps and lost her balance. Instead of scaring him she tumbled over his shoulder and landed face down in his lap which of course was a little harder than normal because of his little daydream.

A mother and her young daughter were walking by at this point. The daughter points and asks her mother.

"Mommy what are they doing?" The young girl asks.

The mother is horrified that they would be doing such a thing in a public place no less answers her daughter.

"That's a special kiss that girls give to boys they really really like." The mother explains hoping that her daughter buys it.

"Oh like daddy and Auntie Yumiko?" The young girl replies as she hits her fist into her palm.

"Where did you see Auntie Yumiko kissing daddy like that?" The mother said as her eye suddenly developed a murderous twitch.

Usagi was beyond mortified. Her carefully planned surprise for her boyfriend turned literally ass over teakettle on her. As soon as she regained her wits she pushed off and allowed herself to fall on her back to the ground. Of course this knocked the wind out of her and she had to spend a few minutes getting her breath back. Throughout the entire thing Mamorou never budged. He still had his eyes closed and a stupid smile on his face. Oh yeah and a bit of drool leaking from the left corner of his mouth.

When she'd properly composed herself and dusted off her dress she turned back towards where her boyfriend was sitting and decided to snap him out of his little dream so they could go on their date.

"Hey Mamo-chan wake up!" She shouted as she shook his shoulder.

Mamorou started awake as she started to shake harder. He blinked his eyes a bit and came back to reality. Taking a quick look around he noted Usagi was standing in front of him with her hands on her hips in a classic angry girl pose. He quickly checked his watch and found that he still had 35 minutes to go before their date officially started. Usagi was really early. He looked up to see War, Pestilence, and Death playing high stakes poker near a copse of trees on the other side of the park. Their pale horses were content to just stand there and rot. Famine was of course chowing down on some Mc. Choke and Puke. Ok, so the rapture wasn't upon him. Yet.

He'd have to come up with something romantic like to stall for time without making it seem like he'd just come up with the idea. Of course he was saved as Usagi looked down.

"Just what were you dreaming about mister?" She said as she started tapping her foot on the ground.

"Umm, you?" He responded. It was technically true. He was dreaming about her just not all of her.

"Oh Mamo-Chan!" She gushed complete with the obligatory heart effect of a girl in love.

He winced as she pounced him and squished a couple of things that didn't like to be squished. Of course the kiss on the lips quickly took his mind off a bit of discomfort. He soon lost himself in the kiss.

Just as he was nipping her neck she yelped and hopped off.

"Umm n-none of th-that n-n-n-now." She stuttered out as she tried to get her breathing back under control.

Mamorou opened his eyes quite disappointed that he couldn't go any farther and saw the swarm of hearts that still danced around in the air. He watched as one of the stray hearts cut down a tree before disappearing.

"You know, love, if I didn't know any better I'd say that was one of your attacks there." He said while pointing at the swarm of hearts above her head.

"Oh those?" She said while waving the hearts away. One by one they popped out of existence. "No idea." She shrugged.

"Ahh well how about we go for a walk? Our reservations were for 8:15 so we've got some time." He said as he stood up and walked over to her.

"Sure, why not." She said as she latched onto his arm like a leech on a hapless swimmer.

The night was quite beautiful as stated before. As they were walked the lights in the park came on one by one casting shadows deep into the park. Since it was getting late there was almost nobody around. So it came as little surprise when as they rounded a corner in a remote wooded area of the park that a large shadow jumped out in front of them.

"Raaagh! I am Fultior." The creature roared.

It was roughly 7 feet tall with dark skin that was almost black, vaguely female, claws, spines, gravely voice, and a rubber Richard Nixon haloweenHalloween mask on. All in all your standard monster except for the mask.

"So what are you here to steal? Our life energy?" Usagi said as she rubbed her forehead. These things were all the same.

"Uhh no." The monster said as it scratched the back of it'sits head.

"Heart Crystals (tm)"

"Nope."

"Pure Dreams."

"No real use for them."

"So what exactly are you after?" Mamorou said finally as he really didn't feel like playing 20 questions.

"Oh yes sorry. ahem. I have come to steal your POCKET CHANGE! Mwa ha ha ha ha." Fulitor roared as it put on a full and menacing display.

"Wait a minute pocket change?" Usagi said as she tried to wrap her mind around the concept.

"Well we're a little cash strapped at the moment. You wouldn't believe the overhead costs to running an evil organization. So just hand it over and I won't have to hurt you." Fultiitor said as it put it'sits hands out expecting money.

"Fiend! I won't let you get away with this." Mamorou shouted as he pulled out a rose.

One quick transformation later and Tuxedo mask leptleapt into battle. Of course Usagi wasn't idle either she took the time that he bought her to transform into her alter ego. She had just finished her last pirouette and had settled into her pose when she saw Fultiitor's foot move in supposed slow motion between her boyfriendsboyfriend's legs. She heard the crack like a batter hitting a perfect home run, and she heard the scream like the souls of the damned had been turned loose on the world.

Everything male within 25 kilometers clutched themselves in sympathetic pain.

At the party all of the males including Ranma grabbed themselves at the same time for no apparent reason.

"Why did you do that?" Makoto asked. She and the other girls she was talking to suddenly stopped when all the guys grabbed their crotches.

"I felt a disturrrbance in the forrrce..." Ranma began.

"like a tortured soul crying out in the night..." Bob continued.

"one who has lost all and has nothing left to give..." Jim carried on.

"and faded away into oblivion." Timothy a young werejaguar concluded.

There was an uneasy silence that descended upon the group until Gina, Jim's twin sister, broke it.

"So basically some guy got the old family jewels jangled and you guys all go philosophic."

There was another silence.

"No." Ranma said. "That's not it."

"Yeah sis." Jim continued. "Whoever it was didn't just get a little bit rattled..."

"They were totally crushed." Bob finished.

"Game overrrr man." Ranma said.

All of the men said a quick prayer for the lost soul then went back to what they were doing.

"You know I've never seen anything like it before." Makoto said with a bit of awe. "I've heard the stories but I never thought I'd actually see male psychic sympathetic pain syndrome."

"Yeah it's usually just the guys within visual rrrrange of the guy who got sacked who do that. Whoeverrr just got neuterrred must have been quite powerrrful." Ranma said as he resisted the urge to make sure that he was still in one piece.

"Yeah but how do you know whoever it was, was was neutered?" Cheryl a cute little snow leopard said as she cocked her head to the side. "I mean how do you guys know this guy whoever he is won't be having any kids ever again?"

"Why do girls always go to the bathroom in groups?" Thantos interjected. He'd been quiet up till now but he felt that he had to make a comment.

"Umm well..." Cheryl strained trying to find an answer.

"Same thing we don't know how we know we just do."

"I don't know about the rest of the guy's here but I really don't want to talk about this anymore." Jim said as he forcefully changed the subject.

"Oh yeah I forgot Mom was saying something about Ranma here having some weird cat martial art or something?" Gina said as she turned towards Ranma. "I just think his rolling of his r's is so cute!"

"It's not like I have any contrrrol over it." Ranma groused. "Stupid old man."

"So what exactly is it called?." Danny a young were lion in his early 20's asked. "And how do you go about leering learning it?. I've only come across some kung fu styles that were modeled after cats, nothing that was built especially for us." He of course was the martial arts buff of the group and was quite interested in learning a new style.

"It's called the Neko ken." Makoto replied for him knowing it was a touchy subject. "It was a technique developed by humans to emulate the ferocity and fighting prowess of a hunting cat." She grimaced at this as she'd never thought she'd ever be glad to not count herself among the fellowship of man.

"Teaching the technique is quite simple you firrrst dig a pit and put a heavy lid on top." Ranma took up the story. "Then you get a whole bunch of cats and toss them into the pit." The assembled group grumbled about cruelty to animals at this. "You starrrve them until they'rrre good and mean. Next you take the trrrainee, that was me by the way, and tie them up with fish sausages and smearrr them with fish paste and then toss them into the pit..."

"That's horrible! What kind of idiot would do that to their own son no less!" Terros interrupted.

"Calling Ranma's father an idiot is an insult to idiots. Ranma here was only six at the time and like me all of his were abilities were locked away." Makoto interjected.

"So you couldn't regenerate? Man that's insane." Jim said as he tried to wrap his mind around the concept. "So what happened?"

"Well afterrr about the fourrth time I snapped. I thought I was a cat and starrrted acting like one." Ranma shuddered at the memory. He may not go cat as often when he was in hybrid or animal forms but it still spooked him.

"Like earlier?" Bob said as he still remembered the crazy catgirl.

"I guess. One of the things is that I don't rrremember anything that happens while I'm in that state of mind." He shrugged. "Doesn't happen very often though. When I'm in my half or full cat forrrm I'm mostly fine. It's just when I'm in my human form that I get spooked. I mean I usually trrry to get away but well... when the entirrre house is full of 'em." He chuckled nervously.

"I was wondering why that one cheetah was acting weird." Danny said as if remembering something. "We usually don't go around in our full animal forms because they don't hold clothes well." He thought a bit more. "I could have sworn that it was a girl though."

"Hey that's right you were a girl then we tossed you in the sink and you changed into a boy." Terros said as he suddenly remembered that happening. He blushed as he remembered how Makoto looked in her wet T-shirt as well.

"Stupid old man." Ranma muttered. "That was anotherrr of the old man's stupid ideas. See he found this old manual with a whole bunch of crrrazy trrraining areas. Problem was it was in chineseChinese and the morrron he is couldn't rrread any chineseChinese. So we ended up at this place called Jusenkyo." He coughed a bit to clear his voice. "Verrrry trrrajic storrry sirrrs." He tried his best to emulate the guide. "Seems that whateverrr falls into the pools takes the form of whatever last drowned in it. Cold water activates the currrse, hot waterrr rrreverses it." He got a cold water shower courtesy Dan.

"Drowned girl right?" He said as he tried to contain his laughter.

Ranma growled at him. "Yeah that's rrrright." He said as he stood up to go to the kitchen to change back but not before giving Dan the mother of all rasberrysraspberries.

"And he's you're your fiancee?" Jim said as he sidled closer to Makoto in an attempt to console her and maybe get some sympathy action.

"Fiancee?" Gina and Cheryl shouted as they were suddenly beside Makoto gushing about how cute he was and how lucky she was to have found somebody like him.

Gina of course was definitely lacking in the boyfriend department. Some girls at school were picking on her and throwing her into the lockers. Neither Bob nor Jim were around so after one particularly brutal hit she changed to her hybrid form and tossed that girl that had just hit her down the hall like a ragdoll, breaking her left arm in the process. The administrators ruled it as self defense and no charges were pressed however that didn't stop the boys from avoiding her like the plague. Of course after their big secret came out Jim started lounging around in his hybrid form at school. The girls all thought he looked dreamy and really exotic. It didn't help him score though because they all knew under that cool exterior was a slime ball.

"Yeah and his other one was pretty cute too." Bob said as he remembered Shampoo. He had to shove tissue up his nose to prevent another reccurancerecurrence of his nosebleed when Shampoo and Makoto kissed.

"His other what?" Cheryl asked.

"Fiancee of course." Jim said as he once again cursed fate that would give such an undeserving man like Ranma two hot babes like that. Life wasn't fair.

"Fiancee!" Cheryl and Gina shouted as they rounded on Makoto.

Makoto winced at the outburst but quickly composed herself.

"More like wife actually." She admitted in a very small voice.

"WIFE!" The assembled group shouted blowing back Makoto's hair a bit. The adults looked over to where the kids were then shrugged and went back to what they were doing.

"It's complicated." Makoto said as she tried to come up with some sort of logical explanation of their situation.

It was then that Ranma reappeared from his sojourn to the kitchen to get some hot water. He was of course in his male form and his shirt was a bit damp. He was carrying two trays with food from the snack bar. The trays contained mostly shrimp but there were a couple of pieces of sashimi on there as well. He ignored every bodiesbody's eyes as they tracked his movement and set the plates down on the end table next to where he and Makoto were sitting. He then sat down and put his arm around Makoto and drew her closer. Makoto of course blushed at this because she still hadn't answered the question about why he had more than one fiancee.

Unnoticed by most were Luna and Artemis jumping up onto the table and digging into the food. Most every bodiesbody's attention was focused on Ranma so they could be excused for not noticing two small cats.

"So what'd I miss?" He asked, clueless as ever.

"How the hell can you be so lucky to have a wife already and a fiancee!" Danny raved at the unfairness of it all.

"You two timer!" Gina snarled as she unsheathed her claws.

"Wait a minute what the hell did I do?" Ranma said as he pressed back into the couch to try and gain a few extra centimeters away from those claws.

"You already have a wife and now you're stringing along poor Makoto here!" Cheryl swooned in a classic over dramatic way. "To toy with a girlsgirl's heart in such a callous way you are an evil, evil man." She punctuated her statement by unsheathing her claws on her left hand and pointing them at him in what she thought was a cool pose. "In the name of the Moon I'll punish you!"

At this Makoto broke down laughing. Ranma was only kept in check by the fact that he had two dangerous sets of claws pointed in his direction and not much room to maneuver. The shear stupidity of Cheryl's mimicking of Usagi's traditional battle speech and posing routine almost made him break down in hysterics too. Well, either that or help her with her posing as he'd seen Usagi do it so many times before that he could point out the mistakes in the routine instantly.

"Oh wait a minute now I remember. Makoto was from an arranged marriage, and that other girl Shampoo was from some weird tribal law of hers." Jim said as he hit his fist into his palm as if just remembering it.

"What?" Gina said as she stumbled and fell forward.

"Yipe!" Ranma said as he flipped over the back of the couch just narrowly missing becoming a she without the assistance of dihydrogen monoxide in it'sits thermally unexcited state.

"Hey watch it I need that!" Makoto shouted just before she slapped her hands over her mouth.

"An arranged marriage? Who still does that in this day and age?" TimmothyTimothy asked as he scratched his chin. He, like the other four guys, werewas just itching to ask about that marriage law.

"My mom and her parents." Ranma said as he peeked out from behind the couch.

"But why?" Gina said.

Makoto decided to field this question as she was one half of the equation.

"Well as you know we were cheetahs are not the most prolific race out there. So auntie arranged this to make sure that the species continues." She said as she unconsciously reached over to where Ranma had set the plates to grab a piece of shrimp. "I mean yeah it's really old school stuff here and I was against it originally." She grabbed something fuzzy and unconsciously was lifting it towards her mouth.

"But he's got other qualities that really make up for it. For example he's really great in b..."

"Hey!" Artemis shouted as he was about to become a snack.

Makoto started as she looked down to what was actually in her hands. She eeped and dropped him into her lap. He just glared at her while swishing his tail back and forth.

"Ahh sorry about that Artemis. Wasn't thinking." Makoto said sheepishly as she tried to placate the angry cat.

"First glow in the dark goldfish, now talking cats! Wow you Japanese have everything!" Timothy said as he looked over to where Luna was sitting. She had her paw on her forehead wondering how things could get worse.

"Oh how cute!" Cheryl gushed as she rushed over and scooped up Luna and squeezed like she was a stuffed toy. "Do you talk too kitty?"

"Yes I do. Now let me go or I'll have to claw your eyes out and use them for ping pong balls!" Luna said in an eerily quiet voice. Of course that could be because she was currently having the life squeezed out of her and nothing to do with the fact that she has a violent personality.

"Uhh Cherrryl you might want to let herrr go." Ranma said as he moved to save the nice, but totally clueless of her own mortal peril, were snow leopard.

"But why? She's so cute." Cheryl responded by squeezing a bit more.

"Uhh she likes boys morrre." He hesitated. While it was true that she prefferedpreferred males he didn't know if it was wise to let her loose in this bunch. Things might happen that were anatomically impossible.

"Herrre you can cuddle with Arrrtemis." Ranma said as he picked up the still fuming cat from Makoto's lap and used his speed to switch them.

"I'll hold her then." Jim said as he held his arms out ready to receive a little pussy.

"On second thought maybe Bob should hold her." Ranma said as he handed Luna over to the muscular were tiger.

Bob stuttered for a bit before he seemed to settle down.

"Um I'm Bob. He he he. Bob I am. Bob me is." He stuttered as he eventually degraded into incoherence. If one looked closely they would see a bit of blood leaking out of his left nostril.

Ranma nodded to himself. Bob was just like Ryoga when it came to women. Luna would be kept safe and nothing would happen.

"Hey babe what are you doing later?" Artemis said from his new position between Cheryl's cleavage.

Cheryl on the other hand...

"Well later on I plan on eating lots of food, drinking way too much like I do at all these parties and waking up the next day without remembering a thing." She giggled.

Nevermind.

"So Ranma about those laws you were talking about." Timothy asked as Jim, Danny, and Teros brought out notepads and pens.

Ranma and Makoto sweatdropped at what they were asking.

"Um I don't think that's a good idea." Makoto said as she tried to think of why. It wasn't that easy trying to find a convincing argument since she would be arguing that Shampoo's sisters were a bad thing. Luckily Ranma came to her rescue.

"Watch this." He said as he leaned over. "Hey Walterrr Nairrr and Videl are herrre and boy do they look hot to trrrot!" He shouted at the hired help.

Immediately Walter stiffened and started whipping his head back and forth trying to discern the location of the threat all the while gibbering in terror. The other adults were looking at him strangely.

"See that's why. They arrre all rrreally enerrrgetic, flexible and well constantly crrrraving sex." Ranma finished thinking that he'd made his point.

"Umm I really don't see what the problem is." Jim noted and the rest of the guys except Bob nodded their heads.

"Uhh the problem is that they'll pretty much wearrr you out night afterrr night until you finally pass beyond the veil." Ranma said as he remembered how it was Shampoo not Makoto who was his main source of energy drain. If she wasn't a sailor scout herself he'd have Ami check her out to see if she was a youma or something.

"Yeah but if what you said is right Walter has two of them and you have one plus a smoking hot were cheetah. If we're not greedy we should be able to handle one little girl." Jim said. "Now spill."

"All you have to do is defeat an Amazon in battle and she's honour bound to marry you." Artemis said as he snuggled deeper into Cheryl's cleavage.

"That's it?" Teros remarked. "You beat them up and they marry you? Man Ike Turner would have had like 50 wives."

"That's just the thing they like to trrravel in packs. If you'rrrre not carrreful you could end up just like that!" Ranma almost but not quite shouted. The horror, the horror. I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

"Well then that's a risk I'm willing to take. After all the life of a lover is fraught with peril." Jim said dramatically while taking a pose that would make Genma proud.

"Your funeral man." Artemis muttered under his purr.

The conversation degenerated into some meaningless stuff after that.

"I'm sorry but the tests are conclusive." The doctor said to the young couple. "Congratulations you're pregnant!"

"Eeeee Miki how could you!" Asuza squealed.

"But it was only that one time... and we were drunk too, that has to count as a contraceptive!" Mikado Sanzen bemoaned his fate to the heavens.

Usagi and Mamorou were sitting in the waiting room waiting for the doctor to come with Mamorou's tests. After the youma had been dusted she'd tried to heal him. Even though it no longer hurt (phantom pain doesn't count) they thought that they should get him checked out just to make sure the plumbing still worked. Usagi was secretly wondering if she should get Ranma to teach her beau a few things about fighting. Sure he tried but if he knew some martial arts he'd be just that much better.

Finally after waiting about half an hour the doctor finally came out.

"Mr. Chiba I have your tests here. I'm sorry but according to these tests there's no wet in your whistle."

"Excuse me?"

"Your hotdog has no ketchup."

"I don't understand."

"Your commander in chief has no troupestroops." Note that troupe is a group of actors, so no commander in chief.

"Still not getting it here."

"Your revolver is shooting blanks."

"Could you just come out and say it doc."

"You're impotent."

"Quit with the innuendo and just tell me already!"

The doctor turned his head to the now pale white Usagi. Her pigtails standing straight up in the air.

"You explain it to him." The doctor said as he left a copy of the test results with the young couple and went off to write himself a prescription for some medicinal marijuana.

"Umm Mamo chan it means..."

Interlude of Fish

An announcer comes on.

"Welcome to another edition of WHO IS CHIBI USA'S FATHER!"

"Is it Mamorou Chiba her future husband?"

Spotlight on Mamorou.

"Uhh nope I'm as limp as a dead fish."

"Is it Ranma Saotome stud and lover of many women?"

"Hell no. Makoto and Shampoo would neuter me if I ever did that!" Ranma protests as he is dragged offstage by an irate amazon and were cheetah.

"Is it Mikado Sanzenen stud and lover of many women?"

"My life is officially over." Mikado says as he is trussed up at the altar. Azuza's father is behind him with a katana to his back.

"Is it Mousse myopic man of mystery?"

"My beloved Shampoo is now a cat toy! Curse you Saotome!"

"Is it Ryoga the mysterious wanderer?"

"Where in the fanfiction am I?" Ryoga screamed to the heavens bemoaning the fates that I haven't included him yet.

"Is it Rei Hino spunky miko and secret lover of the princess."

"Umm you are aware that I am a girl right?" Rei says just before a glass of instant Nanichuan over her head turning her male.

"On second thought. Oh Usagi I've got something for you." Rei male sing songed.

"Or is it Genma Saotome? Past his prime stud and lover of one woman?"

"He he he... Urgk." Genma's sinister laugh was cut off by a scabbard to his groin.

"It had better not be him if he knows what's good for him." Nodoka said in a calm voice as she removed the scabbard.

"But No chan you're cheating on me so why... Glack!"

"We are going to have a little chat on why it's ok for me but not ok for you." Nodoka said as she changed to her hybrid form and started dragging her protesting husband offstage.

"And that's all for this edition of WHO IS CHIBI USA'S FAAAAAAATHEEEERRRRR!"

END FISH

MMMMM SUSHI

Back at the party Makoto had decided to go outside and get a bit of fresh air. She changed back to her human form as fur, even short fur like hers, tended to trap heat something fierce. She was just glad she wasn't a longhaired or arctic variety. She wondered to herself if she even shed. She blushed as she thought of the embarrassing situations she could get into. She could just imagine Rei complaining that she shed on the couch or maybe they could get her a scratching post or a shudder catnip ball.

She turned her attention back to the yard and noticed something that really shouldn't have been there. Make that 5 somethings that shouldn't have been there. She blinked a few times and then rubbed her eyes to make sure that what she was seeing wasn't an illusion. When they failed to go away she waved them over to where she was.

"Over here! Come here! Nice juicy life energy right here!" She shouted.

The five youma that had been wandering in the area in search of something to do turned and saw the crazy human in the too big clothes begging them to take her energy. Since they left the base without eating anything she would make a nice light snack. Internally they were cheering at their luck.

Internally she was cheering at her luck. Who would have thought that 5 tuna monsters would just come cruising through their yard during the party.

"Ragh foolish human we've come to..." The lead monster started but was cut off by the crazy human.

"You're some of those monsters that have been going around stealing life energy from people right?" She asked.

"Uhh yeah." Tuna 1 responded.

"Do you guys regenerate?" She asked hopefully.

"No our mistress didn't think that would be useful.

"Damn." Makoto said as she snapped her fingers.

"Magic resistance or Damage resistance?"

"Magic resistance of course. I'd love to see some of those stupid senshi try to hurt us!" Tuna 2 boasted.

"Good good." Makoto said as she was making a list of things. Strangely it looked like a menu.

"Do you mind if I go get some more dine... I mean victims for your diabolical scheme? We're having a party here tonight and there'sthere are plenty of people here with lots of life energy."

"Uhh sure I guess. I mean it doesn't really matter how many of you there are as we are still superior!" Tuna 1 said as they got ready for the feeding frenzy of their lives.

Makoto ran up to the house and flung open the doors. "Hey everybody get out here now you've got to see this!" She shouted as loud as she could then turned around and walked back to where the Tuna monsters were waiting.

She didn't have to wait long as the others still in hybrid form walked out of the house in a large group. Their cat eyes gleaming in the moonlight.

"So what did you want of us Makoto dea..." Mrs. Saotome cut herself short as she caught sight of exactly why they were called out here.

"Hey Makoto are they damage or magic?" Ranma asked.

"Magic."

"I do believe this is one time where our full animal forms would be quite appropriate." Nodoka commented.

As one the entire group transformed into their animal forms their clothing sliding off their bodies and ending up pooled on the ground. Makoto at the front took point. The tuna monsters looked like they were about to wet themselves if they hadn't already done so. They were staring at a whole bunch of large hungry cats. This was definitely something they hadn't signed up for.

In some kind of erieeerie synchronization they all licked their chops, left to right.

Then mortal kombat began.

"Mommy"

Censored

Oh that's gotta hurt

Tastes like chicken

Ami in her Sailor Mercury form was sitting on the roof of the mansion. She was still trying to figure out how to crash the party when she noted the 5 youma stalking the yard. Before she could call for help she paused. What would be her reason for being near the mansion? She needed to come up with something good. Her computer had detected them and she came to investigate? Hmm they wouldn't buy that. Her house was farther away than the others. Her computer had detected them and the reason she was here first was she was out looking for some tail. While accurate in both senses she didn't want to go quite that far. There would be plenty of time to figure out a good excuse later right now she was going to need help.

Right before she hit the all call button on her communicator she noticed Makoto in her human form shouting and waving at the youma to come over and take her energy. The youma were fish of some kind. Yellow fin tuna if she remembered correctly. They were not the largest species but quite tasty none the less...

She'd missed the okonomiyaki monster at the park but she'd heard what they'd done. Now she would be witness to an entire feeding frenzy. The question was should she record it for posterity or just go and empty her stomach now before it was too late. Deciding on the former she pulled out her mini computer and connected it to her visor and set it to record.

When the others had come out she'd gotten excited as she saw all the prime maleness that was down there for the picking. She unconsciously licked her lips as she saw the large were tiger that was carrying Luna. She now had a target. Now all she needed was for her chance to strike. She idly noted that Artemis was snuggling into another cat's chest. She couldn't quite tell what species, probably snow leopard or maybe an albino of some other species. He of course seemed to be enjoying himself immensely. She idly toyed with the idea of telling Minako that her cat was cheating on her but decided against it as Artemis had sharp claws and teeth.

She watched as they eerily shifted all at the exact same time and licked their lips in unison as well. Then they descended upon the hapless youma like a pack of wolves... no that wasn't quite accurate. More like a pack of lions on the Serengeti taking down multiple prey and that Luna and Artemis were the cubs picking up the chunks that were thrown their way. Sure she'd seen this sort of thing on the Discovery channel japanJapan, but this was more primal and fierce than anything that they'd shown. She had to dodge as a fin flew past her and impacted the roof turning to dust as it hit like all youma. She suddenly got an idea of how to crash the party.

She silently vowed to never ever eat a tuna sandwich again anywhere near the two cats. It was just too dangerous. Kinda like eating with Usagi.

Back down at the massacre, sorry, failed youma attack, the rest of the cats had finished eating and were now cleaning up. Only Ranma was licking himself clean because that little chow down had activated his cat side and he was now person non grata. After the others had transformed back and had gotten dressed Ranma wandered over and started alternating between rubbing himself up against his mother and Makoto. Rhea a stately 40 something were tigress noticed this and came over to find out exactly why her friends son had suddenly lost his mind.

"Nodoka forgive me if this seems rude." She began. "But I couldn't help but notice that your son is acting a wee bit strange." She finished as Ranma decided to be friendly and rub up against this newcomer. "Eeep." Rhea squeaked as she leapt back.

"Come here Ranma. Here boy." Makoto said as she called him over.

"Yes I'm afraid that my husband..." Nodoka started only to be cut off by Rhea.

"You mean the fat tub of lard that got you pregnant then took off with your son for 10 years leaving you all alone? That useless piece of trash?" Rhea said.

"Yeah that one." Nodoka confirmed.

"Good Ranma." Makoto said as she quickly grabbed his tail and using her considerable strength tossed him in the general direction of the pool.

"Two points!" Makoto shouted as she pumped her fist in the air after the successful splashdown of her now less than fully crazy fiancee.

"About that Rhea he decided to train my son in something called the Neko ken..." Again she was cut off.

"So that's the Neko ken. What kind of blasted idiot is he?" Rhea raged.

Nodoka just gave her a stare.

"Right sorry forgot."

"Anyway I take it you've heard of it before." Nodoka said with a hit of curiousness in her voice.

"Yes unfortunately. That's the one where they throw kids wrapped in fish into pits with starving cats right?" She said as she massaged her temples knowing where her friend was going with this.

"That's the one. I was hoping that you would have some ideas. He seems to be mostly fine in his hybrid or full cheetah forms, well except for some glitches, he just rolls his r's and is a bit more catty than normal. It's his human form I'm worried about. Even though he knows he's a cat he still freaks out when he sees one of us in our hybrid forms. It is quite disconcerningdisconcerting to know that your own son is afraid of you." Nodoka trailed off. "Well more afraid of you than they are supposed to be anyway."

Rhea took a moment to think. She'd never heard of anybody being stupid enough to actually try to teach that flawed technique to a were cat before so she was not quite sure what she could tell her friend. Although maybe with a few demonstrations she could work something out. She wasn't the best fighter in her tribe for nothing. Now if only her good for nothing kids would only take their training seriously everything would be fine. She looked at Nodoka who was looking back expectantly. She sighed as she'd have to make up something for now.

"Yes it's probably that his cat side and human side were separated during that incident. I'm not sure if we can put them back together again. Maybe a pleasurable experience with a cat or two would help." She said as she struggled to control her emotions.

"I really doubt that's possible. Even when we're together it's always in hybrid or human forms. Ranma still gets scared of me when I'm in hybrid and he's in human. It really is annoying." Makoto jumped into the conversation. She'd been watching as the now female Ranma pulled herself out of the pool and trudged over to her clothing.

"That is not good." Rhea commented.

"Well it does have it's upsides." Makoto said trying to look on the bright side of things. "He has conscious control over the neko ken when he's in his hybrid or animal forms and he gives the greatest tongue baths when we're..." She stopped suddenly as she admitted what they were doing and blushed heavily while averting her eyes to the ground.

"My son is so manly!" Nodoka gushed as a now wet, female and fully dressed Ranma walked up to them. "Even when he's a girl he's still manly!"

Rhea sweatdropped at what Nodoka had said then she noticed a female were cheetah walking up to where they were standing. For some reason she was rubbing her butt at the base of her tail. It was strange because she only knew three females and two of them were here and the third was supposed to be in Atlanta.

"Now I know what that prrreverrrbial dead cat feels like." Ranma grumbled.

"Who are you?" She asked as certain things started to click.

"Umm I'm Rrranma, you'rrre prrrobably going to want an explanation rrright?" She said sheepishly.

"That would help." Rhea said as she remembered several ki techniques for disguising one's self. The only thing they couldn't do was change the sex of your ki. Ranma was definitely male if what her daughter had told her was accurate, but the person infront of her was generating a huge amount of female ki.

"You know I should just have Nabiki prrrint off some brrrochures or something. Maybe an interrractive prrresentation. This storrry's rrreally getting quite old." Ranma said as she grumbled about having to tell it yet again.

"Long story short. Pop's a moron. He took me to this currrsed place called Jusenkyo in the Bayankala rrregion of China. Therrre arrre hundreds of pools and if you fall into one you take on the forrrm of the last thing that drrrowned there. Cold waterrr activates the currrse, hot waterrr turrrrns ya back. Prrretty easy to figure out wherrre I fell into." Ranma said with only a hint of disgust in his voice.

"Hmm I see. Makoto here says that you have control of the neko ken. I would very much like to actually see it in action." Rhea said as she motioned for him to join her in a more open part of the yard.

"It's nothing rrreally special." Ranma said as she rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment.

"I'm inclined to disagree. From what I've read neko ken warriors are quite formidable." Rhea said as she got into a stance.

"Yeah well I still say it's morrre trrrouble than it's worrrth." Ranma said as she got into a non stance.

The others gathered around. They'd all seen Rhea fight before and wondered exactly how badly Ranma was going to get creamed.

Rhea started off by shouting something about a jitsu and then four copies of her appeared. Ranma responded by sniffing the air. Only one of the five Rhea's infront of him was giving off any scent. He smiled as he remembered the splitting cats hairs technique of Cologne's. Only one of them was real and the others were illusions. The copies spread out to encircle him but he paid them no mind as he stared at the only one that was real.

"That's not going to worrrk." Ranma said nonchalantly as he stared at the real Rhea. "I can trrrack yourrrr scent. I know those otherrrs arrre just illusions, they can't actually hurrrt mURK." Ranma was caught off guard as one of those illusions slammed a massive haymaker into the side of his head throwing him 2 meters away.

"Pretty effective for an illusion." Rhea taunted.

"It is at that." Ranma agreed as he got up. He wiped a bit of blood from his mouth. "Well then do you get hurrrt if I hurrrt them?" Ranma asked.

"No they're copies made of solidified ki. I'm controlling them but there is no feedback if they're destroyed." Rhea said impressed that he would think of that.

"Then you won't mind if I do this!" Ranma said as he engaged full speed almost dissapearingdisappearing from view. Rhea almost didn't have time to react as she hastily threw up a ki shield in front of her.

Ranma's ki claws tore into the shield and Rhea had to pump way more ki into it than she normally did just to keep him from getting through but it worked and she was saved for a little bit longer. Her shadow clones however were not so lucky as he had targeted them first which was her only saving grace. They all exploded in a puff of smoke one after another. Seeing that he wasn't going to get through her shield he jumped back to get some room just in case she decided to retaliate. Little did he know that it took almost all her power just to keep the shield in one piece.

As soon as he disengaged she dropped the shield and resisted the urge to drop to the ground herself. The boy was just so STRONG. The stories she'd heard of the neko ken were true and then some. Combined with his natural were strength and ungodly speed he was a force of nature that she doubted that she'd be able to stop if he ever decided to go full out. He was just standing there looking all innocent waiting for her to get her breath back so he could attack again. It was all some sort of game to him. If he thought he could play that way and get away with it she'd show him exactly why she was considered the best fighter in her tribe.

"Holy lance!" She cried as she unleashed a torrent of raw ki at the pigtailed cheetah boy. It was no where near full strength as she was pretty tired. He of course stepped to the side to avoid it.

The holy lance technique is quite draining as the user had to constantly expend ki to maintain contact with the main blast. While quite disadvantageous in certain respects it did have one redeeming quality.

It could be steered.

As the ki blast slammed into his side it tore a huge chunk out of him. Makoto gasped and was about to run to his aid when Nodoka put her hand on her shoulder. She shook her head and smiled. It was then that Makoto remembered that silver and magic thing.

Sure enough the wound was healing right before their eyes as Ranma staggered to her feet. She shook her head once to clear the cobwebs and then found herself on the receiving end of a barrage of punches and kicks. Being a student of Genma he managed to block or evade most of the attacks. A few slipped through though and caused some serious bruises. Since those were caused by her fists and feet not ki they weren't healing anywhere near as fast. Deciding that he'd played enough he decided to disarm her.

Literally.

"I can't believe you cut my arms off!" Rhea said as she looked at her arms lying off to the sides. She had been knocked to the ground with that last attack.

"I used my ki so they'll grrrow back." Ranma said as he held her side where a particularly nasty kick had cracked her ribs. They were healing but just not as fast.

"But still did you have to go that far?" Rhea said. It was going to be a pain not having her arms for the next day or two till they grew back.

"Well I could have cut off both yourrr legs as well." Ranma stated as he remembered that one britishBritish movie. Couldn't remember the name of it for the life of him. "But this was supposed to be a frrriendly match." He smiled as he disengaged his ki claws.

"That was soooo cool!" Gina gushed as she rushed up to where Ranma was standing.

"Traitor!" Rhea said as she scowled at her offspring. "Just for that you're going to help me until my arms grow back."

"But Mooooom." Gina whined.

"No buts missy now help you're poor disabled mom to the house. We've got to dress these before I bleed all over Mrs. Saotome's yard." Rhea said as she used her powerful leg muscles to lever herself to a standing position.

"Disabled my ass." Gina mumbled under her breath.

"What was that young lady!" Rhea said. She had of course heard exactly what her daughter had said using that mysterious ability that all parents have for hearing what their children say.

"Nothing mom!" Gina eep'd.

"That's what I thought you said." Rhea said as she started walking towards the house.

"I have to agree with Gina though." Danny said as he too reappraised Ranma's skills. Rhea underestimated her opponent and got burned. However he wasn't so sure if she could win even if she had started by going all out.

"It's nothing imprrressive." Ranma said as she scratched the back of her head.

"Actually, son, it's more than impressive. Rhea was the best fighter that I had ever seen and you systematically took her apart." Ginae, the werepanther that was with Nodoka, said with a little awe. His soon to be son er daughter was a very impressive fighter.

"Yeah well the cost is kinda high so it should be imprrressive." Ranma said with a little pout. Makoto came up and wrapped her arms around the smaller were cheetah girl.

"Hey what's with all this gloominess. This is a party!" Cheryl said as Artemis jumped back into her arms. "We should be getting drunk and having fun!"

"Yes of course. We should be going back inside now... hey who's that?" Danny replied before pointing at the newcomer in the yard.

Everybody looked over to the house to see a lone female figure standing there with what looked like a pda in her hand. For those in the know, and surprisingly there were more there than you would first suspect, they automatically recognized the figure as Sailor Mercury. Ranma and Makoto just slapped their hand over their face.

"I detected some youma in the area and I was wondering if any of you saw where they went?" Mercury said with a smile, She liked her martini's stirred not shaken.

Deep in the bowels of the earth something was stirring. It was of course magma and it's always stirring deep in the bowels of the earth because that's what it does. Of course it has absolutely nothing to do with this story so we'll move on.

Setsuna laughed long and hard as she set another ewok on fire in KOTOR 2 just to watch it burn.

Yes being the dark side certainly is fun.

Authors notes:

I deny all evidence that I am dead! Really terribly sorry about this. I can't believe I haven't done ANYTHING since last year! Crap. Well there are a few things that contributed to it. None of it matters though.

I went to Tokyo for the month of march. I now understand Ryoga's character a lot more. In Tokyo you need a gps unit, a compass and a map. You need the compass and a map for when the gps unit goes "WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?" Also I noticed a lot of differences. For example the only guy with a nice yard is the emperor himself. Everybody else doesn't get a yard. It's very expensive to live there and as such Nodoka wouldn't have been able to have the large yard I'm describing. Oh well it's my story and it's fiction.

A couple of things on the last chapter. No Ranma has not done any of the senshi other than Makoto. Minako was making a joke to peeve off Makoto. Also I don't want to deal with pregnancies or any of that other stuff so birth control is in full effect. I am trying to tone down the sex but quite honestly this is how it is in Tokyo. If your still a virgin in Tokyo when you're 16 somethings wrong. It was really strange.

I will be updating more often now. My poor Clie bit the dust. I worked out the cost of what I wanted and decided to spend a bit more and get meself a laptop.

My new iBook is so iCute

Anyway thanks to my prereaders

Lord Raa, Chi Vvayne, and


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